The walls were closing in. They were fast and cold and the greenish color of the ice made Rey want to puke. This was a new feeling.
Her hand froze in the air, as her eyes followed a couple of cloudberries fall to the plaid. The fruits rested there only for a second or two before they sprung up again in a much less smooth manner.
„Master Rey? Is everything alright?" Cal asked, torn between concentrating on keeping the berries afloat and concern about his teacher.
Rey breathed in slowly and merely nodded, looking away from swirling colors to her student sitting in front of her, legs crossed. It's been around three years since she stumbled upon this young boy in Market City and she still doubted whether she was already fit for Jedi Master. After all, she wasn't an expert and accepted the fact she would never think of herself in the role of one, but Cal needed guidance as much as Rey did when she left Jakku.
Cal's gaze followed her closely, that dark-haired boy got too observant lately.
„Yeah," Rey rasped and failed at gulping. It felt like she had a ball the size of an apple in her throat, another, bigger one under her chest. „Continue without me, please. I just remembered I forgot to talk to the General."
This simple lie seemed to work, so the second Cal closed his eyes again, Rey stood up and quietly closed the doors to the small room behind her. Only then did she let herself storm through the carved in ice hallways, out of the base through one of the exits into the freezing Oosti night. Just when she thought the unfamiliar sensation in her stomach was under control, an unconditional reflex bent her down in half.
I forgot to eat breakfast, Rey thought, her body shivering, trying to unload an already empty stomach.
A couple of minutes later the cold temperature was unbearable and Rey was about to head back but something caught her eye. The wind whistled in a low tone and some snow whirled in front of her. At first, she thought the snow flurry was caused by a Tauntaun chasing one of the Porgs, that was still running around the base.
Next, Rey rubbed her eyes and much to her surprise, the blizzard took a shape of Luke Skywalker himself.
After her eyes fully readjusted Rey was sure it was him. Something felt off, he rarely showed himself to her, but it was always for a serious reason.
Luke stared at her intensely, as if she asked him anew whether Jedis lift rocks.
„Well, what is it?" Rey growled, wiping the corner of her mouth, but the pep talk never came. Just as fast Luke appeared, he vanished into the night.
„Great," irritated, she puffed the cold air out of her lungs and kicked a white lump, sending a small portion of snow across the ice hallway. Again, she felt like she drank a whole bucket of green milk.
Trying to push the image of Thala-sirens out of her head, she shook the snow remains off of her boots and headed slowly for the meditation room. Calling it a night, Rey sent Cal away and shortly after was crawling into the bunk in her quarters, hoping this sickness would go away by latest the next day.
Her best friends were coming home. She couldn't miss it.
&I&
Once more, sunrise came all too quickly. Rey's left arm numb from the weird position she slept in, her mouth completely dry. It was not a good night's sleep she had, yet her mood seemed fixed.
The alarming sensation in her stomach went away, giving way to prickly excitement under her navel.
On her rusty and used-up datapad was a text from Finn waiting for Rey, letting her know all three of her friends would be back home before noon. Being a dignified Jedi master, Rey couldn't let herself show how off-balanced and lonely the last four weeks had been for her. During the absence of Finn, Rose, and Poe she had her own political missions to focus on, but she didn't try to conceal a happy croak reading the message.
Knowing she wouldn't be able to swallow even a bite of her favorite breakfast pastry at the moment, Rey decided to head for the hangar right away. She kept humming gleefully under her nose when she stepped into the small shower in her quarters, when she put on Resistance trousers and jacket instead of Jedi attire, and when she strolled down the base in her heavy boots.
Three hours passed within a blink of an eye. Amazingly, Rey managed to fix the cables she ripped on her last mission on board the Falcon, without any interruption. It was a task that didn't require a lot of physical effort, so Chewie let her do it on her own as he relaxed. Welding the ragged wires was so soothing and occupying, by the end of it Rey was in a much better mood than the day before.
Soon, a small smuggling ship appeared on the nearest radar display and Rey's heart started beating like crazy. Tightening the grip on her jacket, she jumped from her fixing spot in a hoist and waited for the hangar doors to close behind the undersized, landing ship.
First, BB-8 rolled out of the ship and in a speed of light was at her feet, already beeping about the adventures he was part of. Rey patted her tin companion and looked up to see her exhausted, but broadly smiling friends.
Finn put out a hand and pulled Rey into a tight hug.
„How was your mission?" was the first thing her best friend asked, pulling away to take a good look at her.
„Fine," Rey replied and stepped back, taking a sizeable breath. „Not great, but I got some intel on this senator who might help our cause. How was yours?"
„Full success, ma'am," a cocky voice echoed behind Finn, and Rey leaned to the right side. Poe strode in, festooned with firearm, magazines and carrying two bigger cases, probably hiding more guns. Next to him was standing Rose, dressed up in a similar style. All three of them were glowing with pride, but all at once Rose's expression changed.
„Rey, you are so pale. Are you okay?" the petite girl asked in a worried tone, searching for Rey's eyes with her gaze. Sometimes, it still took Rey by surprise she had people who cared so much for her and for her well-being. The lonely Jakku period definitely happened in the closed chapter of her life.
Rey shook her head, and almost right away regretted doing it. Faces of her friends swirled in front of her.
„Yeah, don't worry, the usual when I skip breakfast in the morning," she reassured and brushed away some hair out of her face.
Poe furrowed his brow and dropped his whole weaponry to the floor with a thump so he could approach her and Finn. „You sure it's only that?"
„Yes," she breathed with less zeal. „It's kinda hot in here."
Finn looked around, alarmed, to say the least, „What are you talking about, it's freezing in here, the gate closed only now."
No response came from Rey and only Poe's reflex didn't let her fall over. Halfway through the ground his strong palms caught the young Jedi Master under the armpits and lifted her just enough to make her body lean against his torso.
Rey zoned out, her last memory of Poe lifting her up, with a full view of his panicked face.
&I&
A sharp glow of fluorescents in the hospital wing brought Rey back to reality. Her bed was awfully uncomfortable, but the moment she moved a sharp pain pierced through her left arm. Rey paused, noticing a drip dangling over her head, and its other end attached to her, now stained in red, elbow flexion.
„Let 2-1B fix this," a coarse, feminine voice echoed from the corner of the room.
„General." Rey nodded and stuck out her arm towards the medical droid bustling around her bed.
Leia's eyes flickered and she stood up. She walked over to Rey's side and took her free palm into hers. „We're alone my child."
Rey let out a breath she was holding in. „Mother, what happened?"
„You fainted in the hangar, Poe and Finn brought you in here," Leia related, her expression unreadable. Rey's mother fell silent, examining closely her daughters' face.
„Must have been pressure change, tell the healer to let me out," she downplayed.
Leia's eyebrows furrowed.
„Mom, seriously, nothing a training in the fresh air won't fix," Rey continued, making a weak attempt at a full smile.
„It might take some time for you to feel good enough to train, Rey," Leia doubted vaguely, „I've had it the same."
„What? What have you had the same, I don't understand?"
Leia bent over slightly and squeezed Rey's hand a bit. „Rey, honey, you're with child."
„I'm what?!" the young woman yelped and was about to sit up but in the last second remembered about the drip. „Pregnant?"
Silence fell between them, and Rey chose to drill a hole in the ceiling with a dense stare.
„Don't be angry or shocked, my child, these things happen, sometimes despite precautions," Leia encouraged her in a soft voice.
„I'm not," Rey interrupted her, still staring up. „I'm not either."
A harder expression entered Leia's features while she squeezed her daughter's hand again. „We can take care of it right now if you want."
A single teardrop traveled from the corner of Rey's eye down her cheek and onto the white sheet, and she shook her head vividly.
„No," she refused firmly. „I lost all hope on family, and somehow I got you, Luke and Han, back, and now this..." her voice trailed away. „I never thought I'd have any of this."
„I never thought I'd live to reunite with my daughter or see any grandchildren too," Leia admitted.
Rey looked further away from Leia, now watching the snow fall outside the window. „What would Luke say though? Isn't this against Jedi rules? Wasn't this the exact same situation that lost Darth Vader?"
Leia puffed air out of her lungs in slight irritation, not at Rey, but rather at her own father's actions. „It's not excess of love that lost my father, and may I be damned as well as my brother if Luke didn't believe some good came out of Darth Vader too," she paused and smiled widely, „We did. And you did too. It's true love, not true power that gives you strength."
Rey only nodded and felt her eyelids getting heavy. The General stood up from her chair and patted gently the Jedi's shoulder.
„Give me a heads up, when you tell Poe. I want to call Kes, some news it'll be for him," Leia giggled at the door.
At last, Rey looked over to her in panic. „How do you know it's Poe? Did he tell you?"
„No, my dear, I suspected but wasn't sure until now. It's been going on something like two years now, hasn't it? Not exactly a secret." Leia winked and opened the heavy, steel doors. „He doesn't take unnecessary risks anymore, he talks about the bright future. Poe didn't tell me, but then again, he didn't have to."
Tomorrow, ran through Rey's head and she closed her eyes. Tomorrow she'll try to tell him.
&I&
This time sleep rebuilt Rey's strengths, she didn't know how much she needed. Heavily confused and hesitant about telling Poe, she knew she ought to tell him about the pregnancy soon. Fortunately, sleep brought some comfort too and even an encouraging thought that there was no rush for it now. She definitely wasn't ready to speak to anyone at that particular moment yet, so Rey was absolutely grateful her mother gave her the time to think things through.
A couple of weak sunbeams emerged through the slim hospital windows, announcing that the only sun in this planetary system has set. The base was drowsily coming back to life at the time long Oosti night came to an end. Hoping dearly she wouldn't bump into any of her closest friends, Rey put on her leather jacket and boots and sneaked out of the room.
The ex-scavenger puffed out a visible breath upon stepping into her chilly quarters.
„Ran-D, fix the room temperature, please," Rey groaned at the droid. Then she threw her jacket to the ground, before changing into a sleeping t-shirt and diving into a stack of blankets laying on her bunk.
Sleep, do not think. Close your eyes, do not tense your muscles.
The mantra bounced inside her skull, but Rey thought it was fruitless considering she still was able to see her breaths colliding with sharp air above her.
In the time Rey was counting the minutes to warmth, exhaustion won and she managed to catch another few hours of good rest.
Around late afternoon as she was gradually waking up, allowing herself to be lazy for once in her life, the only door to the room opened with impetus, making way for a very distraught Rose.
„Rey!" she cried out and closed the door with the same energy she burst into the quarters. „Are you okay?"
„Ngh," Rey grunted, pulling one of the blankets over her face. She loved her friend, but her tone was too cheerful, too loud. Her hearing hypersensitivity seemed way worse than that last time Finn brought home some quality moonshine, won in a dramatic card game. „Could've been better."
„Oh no, don't tell me the bug going around the base has reached you," Rose groaned, and sat down on the chair, next to Rey's legs. „I was hoping you'd take a look at the material I bought for my wedding dress in the Market City."
Rey knew she gave her word to Rose on this, so she felt a lot worse remembering the promise.
„I'm really sorry Rose, I don't think I'll be able to today," the young Jedi managed to choke out. „But don't worry, it's not the bug."
Silence fell between them, and Rey thought an upset Rose left the room until she opened her one eye to find her still seated in the same place, puzzled expression painted across her features. Shortly, panic washed over Rey, inadequate to the one she experienced around Leia.
Leia was her mother, and she happily accepted the news. What about her friends though, what would they say?
„So, it's true?" Rose started slowly, presumably testing the waters. „Are you p-"
At hearing actually Rose say the words Rey sprung up from underneath her blankets.
„Does everybody know already?" she squealed, in her imagination already seeing the worst-case scenario where Poe finds out the news through a cleaning droid, that had hard to overwrite gossip protocols.
The dark haired woman put one hand in the air and the other on Rey's shoulder, hoping to calm her down, „No, no, don't worry. I heard Leia send off Poe to get some medicine to the Oittol City and I'm the only one who recalled the name pyridoxine," Rose explained gently, continuing to rub Rey's shoulder. „It's the same medicine I brought Kaydel last year at the beginning of her pregnancy with little Sora."
Oh, right, baby Sora. And earlier, Snap and Karé got a new addition to their family. Skin crinkled between Rey's eyebrows, trying to recall the exact moment younger generation of Resistance started moving forward with their lives at the base. In her book, she was living in the constant alert mode.
„Do you want to talk about it? Can I help you somehow?" Rose hinted. „How are you feeling about this?"
„You're sweet Rose, but thank you, I'm good," Rey breathed and leaned over the opposite bunk wall. She waggled her foot, sticking out of the bed, a couple of times prior to admitting, „I'm a bit dumbfounded and nauseous, but otherwise simply fine. I guess it didn't get through yet to my consciousness. Leia says she didn't think she'd ever see her daughter or any grandchildren, and I didn't ever think I'd have children. Seems like a too normal thing for our unsettled lives."
Rose squeezed Rey's right hand. „It may appear so, and believe me I can't believe myself Finn and I are getting married, but here we are. Wars or no wars, life goes on. I don't think it's an accident."
A loud creak announced a new guest at the door, and Rey couldn't help a fear pop up in inside her chest. Relieved, it wasn't Poe with the meds, but Finn carrying some sweet bread and jam, she invited him in.
„Good you're awake, sunshine! I heard you haven't eaten since yesterday."
Rey buried her face in hands. She was so cranky and wanted to be alone since the morning, yet her friends were so sympathetic. What did she do to deserve them?
„Thank you," she mumbled and accepted the gifts. Out of nowhere gigantic hunger made its presence known.
Finn stood over them, watching one and the other woman with concern. „You ok?"
Rey nodded and answered with a full mouth, „Mm-yeah."
She also loved her friendship with Finn. This exchange was enough for the two of them, but she realized she owed to tell him since Rose already knew.
„Sit down, please," Rey asked quietly, slid down so her feet touched the ground and patted the place next to her on the bed.
Finn followed her request and waited for her to gain confidence to continue talking.
„So, listen, I figured since Rose already knows... I've been seeing someone for quite some time now, and the reason what happened yesterday happened is because I'm pregnant," Rey concluded unhurriedly, both her and Rose examining his reaction.
„That's good, I mean that's great congrats!" Finn exclaimed and pulled her into a tight hug, Rey almost forgot how to breathe. When he pulled away, he stated in a firm tone, „First of all, you know we'll be here for you if you need anything, right?"
Rey nodded.
„Damn, you're good at hiding though," he laughed, patting her on the bad a bit too zestfully. „Who's the father though? Is it that hot medical nurse, Jaque? Is it the maintenance guy I've seen you flirt with? What his name, wait, I remembered it... Bay? Babe?"
Rose rolled her eyes. „His name is Isaibai, and don't push Rey."
Finn ignored his fiancée. „I mean I was always hoping it'd be Poe... Is he Poe?"
Rey choked as she tried to take a sip of water. „I'd rather talk to the he first ahead of any announcement, please?"
The pair exclaimed in an over-excited manner, „Sure!"
Suddenly, the room was extremely tiny for three people and a house droid.
„Actually, the earlier the better. Rose, can you please throw me a fresh shirt and breastband out of the closet?"
Her friend willingly obliged, honestly happy to be of any help to Rey. Rose went into the small wardrobe, which could be a too gracious term for two shelves of clothes and two pairs of boots on the ground, and strangely took a bit too long grabbing those two, simple items.
When the tiny woman returned, Finn turned around, gaze drilling the ceiling as Rey changed and put some sweatpants over leggings.
„Wish me luck," she yelled, next off storming out, seemingly looking better. Colour noticeably flooded back into the skin on her face.
„I know what you're gonna say, but It really bothers me it might not be Poe," Finn confessed the second door closed behind Rey and looked over to his woman.
Rose didn't reply anything, her gaze focused on the t-shirt Rey slept and threw over the pillow on the bed. She walked over to the bed and pulled out a bundle of navy blueish material.
„This doesn't look like anything Rey ever wore, or any Jedi attire either," the male resistance fighter remarked, at which Rose puffed irritated already ten steps ahead of her fiance. She eyed him lovingly.
„It's a male shirt," she remarked matter-of-factly. „Probably belongs to the guy she's seeing."
Finn shrugged and opened the big, metal doors for Rose. In the same exact moment, Poe appeared in it, all breathless.
„Hi! Is Rey here? I brought her the medicine Leia asked for."
The couple exchanged astonished looks, and Rose replied still holding the cloth in her left hand, „Sorry, you just missed her, but I don't think she managed to get far away?"
„Thanks!" Poe cheered and was about to turn around when he recognized the shirt in Rose's hand. „Hey, that's my shirt, how'd it get here?"
Finn looked very much like he wasn't following but Rose pressed her lips together, trying to stop an incoming shocked slash grinning face. Instead of the truth, she offered cluelessly, „Found it laying around the Millennium Falcon dock?"
Poe nodded in agreement. „I was fixing it some time ago. Doesn't matter right now, I better run to catch Rey."
With that, he disappeared from Rey's doorstep and Rose couldn't hold in a screech anymore. She hit Finn on the bicep, and despite Rose being a small woman he felt that punch a little too much in the leather jacket.
„'HOW'D IT GET HERE?' He should be the one to know, am I right?!"
Finn gently caught the small fist in the air, meanwhile, his eyes went wider and wider at the realization. Before he knew what was happening he was sharply pushed out the door.
&I&
Rey jogged between countless figures roaming around the main hangar, admiring how the Resistance grew back so big. Poe's X-wing was parked the nearest to the entrance, meaning he had to be back from the city recently, yet he himself was nowhere to be found around it.
Half-annoyed, half-relieved she'd have to postpone the talk, Rey halted right away and her hands hit her sides with a thump. Instead of going back right away, she remained in her place, looking out the hangar entrance. Albeit constant movement on the tarmac, some ships landing, some transporter preparing for take-off, the view was somehow calming.
The young Jedi slowly filled her lungs with chilly outside air while smiling slightly. Nothing since yesterday managed to clear her mind like this small moment did.
She already had a wonderful, supportive family that was about to get bigger.
Finally, a tiny sucking feeling in Rey's stomach announced hunger for the first time that day. She decided to go back, but upon turning around her body was met with a human-like heavy object.
Rey staggered lightly and even managed to catch this person's hand and steady them both.
„Oh, it's just you," Rey gasped and took a step backward.
Poe was panting, but had to ask, „Hey, are you okay?!" He followed her, making a step forward to hold her sides with his palms. Was she disappointed that it was just him?
„Yeah, don't worry, I'm swell. I was actually looking for you-"
„And I for you, I've got your meds," he cut in and shook a small, felt sachet in front of her face, smirking at Rey. „I went to your quarters, but I only found Finn and Rose, and surprisingly that one shirt I've been looking for some time now? You wouldn't happen to know anything about it, right?"
Probably every inch of her body went red, pink at best.
Suddenly Rey became all too aware of their surroundings, including the curious eyes around the hangar focusing on them. „About that," Rey stammered, looking over him.
The expression on the pilot's face softened. „Oh right, sorry, do you want me to shut up or move this conversation somewhere else?"
„Neither," Rey interrupted him rapidly, and carried on noticing concern cross Poe's face, „Let me say something, okay?"
The soft touch of his hands left her skin, but Poe hasn't moved an inch in a sign for her to continue.
In turn, she was the one to take his palms between hers. „I'm tired of hiding. Hiding with what makes me happy."
Poe let out a deep breath. „Not that I'm complaining, but I was scared this discussion was about to take a dramatic turn."
Just wait and see, Rey thought.
„Rey, did something happen? I recall it was your decision to lay low and I'm still okay with it," the pilot pointed out but half-smiled at her in a reassuring manner.
„I'm pregnant," came out of her mouth, blocking any further doubts hijacking Rey's thoughts. She had to admit her main stress throughout the whole day was Poe's potential reaction, and she was about to add the standard formula about how he could be involved to a degree he wanted, whereas her doubts turned out to be completely misplaced. She was looking at him sideways, only half of his face visible to Rey, but it was hard to miss this enormous grin entering his features.
„Are you serious?"
„Are you angry?"
„Are you crazy?!" Poe burst and picked her up. „I never thought I'd live to this point in my life."
Rey laughed out loud and swung arms around Poe's neck. „Why does everybody keep saying that?"
Poe put her down and replied, tears faintly shimmering in his eyes. „For many reasons, but right now I'm mostly thinking how you and I will get to continue our families. How your mother and my father will be able to see their grandchild. I can't wait to tell Kes!"
Their lips joined in a brief but tender kiss, filled with joy and promises for the uncertain future.
They parted due to some cheers coming from the entrance to the hangar. Their friends were standing there, including Finn patting Cal on the back, Rose giving a knowing look to Snap, and BB-8 zooming around with his tiny lighter pulled out.
Rey unconsciously touched her belly through the grey shirt, grateful for the happy accident, knowing her child would have a bigger family she never dreamed to have herself.