AN- Just a one shot I've been playing around with for a while. Let me know what you think. The POV jumps around a little but didn't know how else to get my point accross and third person just didn't suit!
(Bella POV)
I rang Edward but got no answer. So I jumped into my car and drove over to his house hoping he wasn't still at work. Once I arrived I saw Edward's car in the driveway a sense of relief flooding over me. I finally knew I was safe. Knocking on the door gently I waited patiently after what felt like a lifetime the door opened and Esme Edwards mum answered the door.
"Bella what are you doing here?" she asked with a warm smile.
I froze at her question I hadn't really thought about what I was going to say. I only knew I needed to see Edward. "Urm I'm sorry I didn't mean to just turn up but urm I need I would like to speak to Edward." I stumbled out, like an idiot.
"Bella why don't you come inside." was her response gently taking my hand and leading me inside. Esme led me through to the sitting room pushing me down on to the sofa and sitting next to me.
"Edwards been called into work along with Carlisle, there's been some sort of accident and they needed all available hands." She told me her brow creasing in what I thought was worry.
"Ok urm I'm sorry to have disturbed you I'll get out of your hair." I replied quickly standing up.
Esme stopped me from moving closer to the door before saying "Bella it's fine you don't have to leave. Edward and Carlisle will be home in an hour or so, why don't you stay I'd be glad of the company." I stood frozen unsure about what to do next. I wanted to run and hide yet at the same time the thought of being on my own was terrifying.
Esme gently took me by the arm and led back towards the sofa where she guided me to sit. Not being able to hold it in any longer I rested my arms and head on my legs where I just cried as I've never cried before. The whole time Esme had her arms protectively around me providing some much-needed comfort without saying a single word just letting me get everything out of my system. Once I was able to get better control over my emotions I lifted my head up but couldn't look Esme in the eyes.
"Feeling any better huni?" Esme asked with such love and concern while she stroked my hair soothingly, she almost made me want to cry all over again I could only nod my head in response not trusting my voice to speak at all.
"Do you want to talk about what happened, why you're so upset?" She asked again the concern in her voice did cause a couple of tears to fall.
Clearing my throat I finally replied "Esme I'm fine, I just urm I'm sorry Esme I didn't mean to bother you" I finished trying to take a deep calming breath.
"Hey look at me" Esme commanded going into full mother mode "you are not and have never been a bother" she gazed at me and I knew that she wouldn't let this go. I really had made a big mistake thinking I could come here and pretend everything was ok.
"I think I should get home I need a shower and a change of clothes. Can you just get Edward to call me when he gets in please." I told her making to stand up once again.
"Bella why don't you shower here you can borrow my toiletries and I'm sure Edward wouldn't mind you borrowing one of his t-shirts to change into" Esme reasoned giving me a small smile. I stood there trying to come up with another reason to leave but in reality I didn't want to go back home which is why I'm here in the first place. Nodding my head in agreement I let Esme lead me up the stairs she paused at her bathroom grabbing me a few essentials and clean towel before leaving me in Edwards room to use his en suite. Turning the shower on I stripped off my clothes and stepped into the streaming water hoping to wash away everything I now felt. Grabbing some body wash I scrubbed my skin until red raw and couldn't wash no more. Turning the water off I grabbed the towel from the heater wrapping it securely around myself and stood in front of the mirror wiping the residue from the surface. Looking into the mirror I saw myself for the first time ghostly pale with a haunted look in my eyes one look and Edward would know there was something wrong. I watched as a single tear rolled down my cheek I didn't want to be seen as victim someone who people pitied felt sorry for. I wasn't myself any longer I didn't know who I was.
Wiping furiously at the traitorous tears I rescued the towel before heading back to Edwards room, Esme had left a clean pair of sweats on the bed drying myself taking care not to put too much pressure on my bruises. I slipped on the bottoms and grabbed a sweater of Edwards to bury myself in. Dumping the damp towel in the hamper I hesitated looking at the closed-door unsure of my next step did I want to face Esme again she knew there was something wrong I was always terrible at hiding my emotions. Sinking to the floor I pulled my knees up towards my chest as if this would somehow protect me from feeling so awful.
Somewhere in my mind I heard the door open then close quietly as someone entered it had to be Esme based on their footsteps there was no way Edward could move around so quietly it was impossible for him. She sat down next to me placing her hands on top of mine gently massaging mine until the death grip I had on my legs eased up. Esme then wrapped her arms around my shoulder pulling me into her side hugging me close.
"I wished you would tell me what's wrong sweetie you're shaking like a leaf I just want to help." Esme whispered in to the quiet of the room.
I shook my head how could I tell my boyfriends mum that I... I couldn't even think about what had happened without feeling completely and absolutely terrified. "I'm sorry so sorry I really wish I just I don't know what to do." I managed to stammer out between the tears which had started to fall all over again.
"you just take your time what matters at the minute is making sure your ok." She comforted hugging me tighter for a few seconds before letting go. She stood up and pulled me with her I glanced at her unsure of what she wanted me to do. "let's go down stairs I'll make us a drink and we can watch a bit of telly." she continued not asking but rather telling me what was going to happen. Esme only paused to grab a comforter of the bottom of the bed before leading me down the stairs and into the living room.
I sat on the edge of the sofa but Esme made me lay against the cushions and she tucked Edwards throw around me before heading in the kitchen. Taking a deep breath Edwards scent was all over the blanket, closing my eyes for the first time today I felt just a bit safer. I allowed my mind to switch off and I drifted off into an uneasy sleep hoping that when I woke up everything would be back to normal. If only things were that simple they are never likely to ever be simple again.
My sense slowly began to awaken to my surroundings but I kept my eyes tightly shut not wanting to face the rest of the day. I could hear mumbled voices coming from somewhere behind me, so I guessed that Edward and Carlisle were back from the hospital. Taking a deep shuddering breath I slowly opened my eyes allowing them to adjust to the low light of the living room. I couldn't see anyone in the room. I knew if I sat up they would know I was awake and the questions would start all over again. Refocusing on the voices I strained to hear what was said.
"...she seems really upset by something it took all I had just to calm her down enough and relax." Esme whispered I could hear the tension and worry in her voice and felt incredibly guilty that I had been the one to cause it.
"but that doesn't make sense when I left hers last night she was fine, I thought it was a little strange when she didn't pick up this morning but just guessed she was busy with work" I heard his angelic voice reply and could almost see him tugging on his hair in frustration. The enormity of what I was about to tell them sunk in. I suddenly felt extremely sick and bolted towards the downstairs bathroom vaguely aware of Carlisle, Edward and Esme rushing behind me. I threw up into the toilet as I felt someone hold back my hair and rub my back in a comforting way.
Once I was sure I wasn't sick anymore I leant back against the bathtub not having the energy to do anything else. I looked up to find Esme kneeling next to me gently wiping a damp cloth over my face and neck getting rid of any sweat. I couldn't believe how good the cloth felt. I could feel Edward sat on my other side but couldn't turn my head the few degrees to look at him.
"How are you feeling sweetheart?" Esme asked.
Before I could reply, Carlisle walked into the bathroom carrying a glass of water, he knelt in front of me holding out the glass.
Deep down I knew that Carlisle wouldn't hurt me but that didn't stop my body from shaking in fear and my breathing becoming erratic. I felt Carlisle grab my wrist which if anything made me freak out even more.
"Bella its ok your safe with us, take some deep breaths for me" Edward tried to reassure me but the sounds of his voice next to my ear caused my panic to increase ten fold.
I knew that I was being irrational but couldn't stop myself. I had no control over what was happening. Before I knew it Carlisle had pulled me into a hug, pressing me to him, holding on to me tightly telling me everything was ok.
I tried to fight against him wanting nothing more than to get away, though my energy was soon spent and left my body and I sank against Carlisle. He leaned back against the wall pulling me with him. I lent against his chest and his arms wrapped themselves around me protectively. I had my eyes closed the entire time I struggled against him I didn't want to see the horror or worry in their eyes especially Edwards.
"Carlisle I'm…" I tried to apologies but he stopped me.
"Hey its ok it's not your fault just relax once you have rested then we will talk, just even out your breathing for me." Carlisle told me and if possible he held me a little tighter.
I felt one of Carlisle's hands wrap gently around my wrist I assumed checking my pulse, which was still to fast. Carlisle sat with me this way for what felt like forever, eventually he spoke gently "Bella just lean forward for me, so I can get from behind you then I'm going to carry you upstairs and check you over ok?" He told me already beginning to move. I didn't bother responding anyway knowing that Carlisle wasn't giving me a choice just explaining what was happening. The only thing I did was open my eyes glancing around the bathroom my eyes landed on Edward and the look of panic and concern on his face nearly broke me all over again. He took a step towards me but I flinched slightly and he froze in place. Carlisle gently picked me up and I closed my eyes so that I didn't have to look at anybody. I just couldn't face seeing the worry on any of their faces and especially the look of utter disappointment on Edwards face when I flinched away from him.
Carlisle carried me to the spare bedroom and laid me gently on the bed. I could feel Carlisle looking at me and knew what he must have thought. How awful I looked, I'm as white as a sheet and looked as if I hadn't slept for a week. He once again checked my pulse pulling away again quickly. I opened my eyes and glanced at him he offered me a small smile of reassurance. He walked over to Edward and they both headed out the room silently. Esme offered to help get me comfy on the bed. Once propped up on pillows Esme pulled the comforter up around me and sat next to me on the bed.
Once Carlisle came back into the spare room he handed me a fresh glass of water and put his bag on the floor next to the bed.
"Now I want you to drink that water so you don't get dehydrated." He told me leaving no room for argument. I took a sip without looking at either Carlisle or Esme. Sitting down next to Esme he asked "Bella are you still feeling sick? Do you have any pain anywhere?"
I took another sip of her water before replying "No I'm feeling better, sorry for being a pain." I glanced quickly around the room but saw no sign of Edward my breathing picked up perhaps he hated me for causing trouble.
"You will never be any trouble we care about you too much, I want you to lie down, I am going to check your stomach, then you are going to rest for a while, do I make myself clear?" Carlisle told me in a firm but Fatherly tone.
Once I lay down Carlisle pulled back the blanket, feeling my stomach over the top of my clothes he kept glancing at me for my reaction but was satisfied when there wasn't too much tenderness, so he wrapped me back up in the comforter.
"Now sleep, I'll be back to check on you in a little while." He whispered already noticing that my eyes started to fall and was half asleep again. Esme gently kissed my forehead before I heard her following Carlisle out of the room.
The room was peaceful for the longest time but I couldn't quite fall asleep, curling to my side I tried to bury my head under the comforter. I heard the door open again and felt the bed dip on the other side of me. I instantly smelt Edward and his arms pulled me into a gentle hug. Rather than shy away from him like I had done earlier I felt comfort in his warmth and I allowed myself to be lulled to sleep but not before I heard Edward whisper "I love you"
Flashback
It was so strange having an evening to myself I was so used to either spending the evening with Edward and his family or my Dad. So I relished the idea of spending some time by myself, reading and taking a long hot bath. A knock at the door drew me out of my mind, and I reluctantly went to answer the door. I could have ignored it but if it was someone looking for Charlie and he found out I'd never hear the end of it. When I opened the door I startled to find James stood there. He was a year above me at school but I hadn't seen him since we graduated. for some reason he always made me nervous and when possible I would never put myself alone with him.
"Why are you here James?" I asked politely although I'm not sure I came off as such.
"I came to see you Bella I heard Edward talking with his brothers saying they were going out for night and I hate to think of you alone here especially with your father away as well." He responded a smile playing on his lips.
"James how did you know about Edward and my dad?" I asked creeping me out a little that he seemed to know so much.
"It's a small town Bella everyone knows everything about each other." He responded shrugging his shoulders. His answer was true but their was something still a little odd here.
"How nice of you, but I am planning on a quiet night in by myself I'll be fine." I responded going to shut the door but he placed his foot in the way making it impossible for me to close it completely. I began to panic as James pushed his way into my house, I ran towards the back hoping to get out the back door, but he grabbed a hold of me and pushed me towards the floor.
As I hit the floor, my breath knocked out of my lungs and took me several seconds to regain a sense of where I was by which point James was kneeling over me.
"Now how about we start again Bella?" James sneered as he leant nearer to me and ran his tongue from the bottom of my jaw all the way up to the side of my eye. He repeatedly did this as his hands began roaming across my stomach and upper thighs.
I tried to squirm away from him but he pinned me between his legs and pulled my arms above my head holding them there with one hand as he used the other to pull the t-shirt up and over my head effectively tying my hands there. This then freed up his hand to move freely over my body. He grabbed each of my breasts in his hands squeezing them so hard that I cried out in pain. I couldn't believe this was happening.
End of flashback
"Bella, wake up" I heard a voice say from far away. once again I used all my strength to try to get away but there was no use I was stuck under him and just wasn't strong enough to get away.
"Bella come on its ok, wake up for me." That voice sounded just like Edwards and I reached towards it hoping that it would somehow protect me even in a small way. My eyes flew open and I bolted up right in bed sweat pouring off me. I could feel my whole body shaking from head to toe and couldn't seem to get control of anything. suddenly I felt sick again and tried to pull myself off the bed to get to the bathroom but hands were trying to hold me in place. I couldn't get out between the sobs that I needed the bathroom but just managed to lean over the side of the bed before throwing up everything that may have been left in my stomach.
"It's ok Bella, just breathe, everything's ok." Edward whispered gently stroking my hair. I cringed away from his touch, moving back to the other side of the bed I felt dirty and didn't want him touching me.
"Bella" Carlisle said.
Slowly I looked up and saw Carlisle and Esme sitting on the opposite side to Edward I felt surrounded by people who were much to close.
"Bella, what happened, what's wrong?" Esme asked.
The second Esme asked that question tears began to stream down my cheeks. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I tried to stop him but I was too weak I just…" I stammered out between sobs.
"Stop who?" Esme asked as Edward took hold of my hand, not letting me pull away again.
"He pushed his way in he knew I was alone, I tried to run but he grabbed me he was on top I couldn't move he tied my hands then…" I couldn't bring myself to say it to see the look of revulsion on Edwards face. Everyone stared at me as Edward pulled me on to his lap wrapping his arms around me protectively before whispering "I love you"
I knew that Edward didn't hate me. I know him well enough to see that he wouldn't be doing this if he found me repulsive. I buried my head into Edwards chest and for the first time allowed myself to feel all the pain, hurt and guilt that's been buried inside me since it happened.
"Bella, I'm worried about all the throwing up you're doing, I think we…." Carlisle began but I interrupted him.
"Please I can't go to the hospital" I stammered terrified of what was next.
"Hush Bella don't panic, you're not going anywhere, we definitely need to get some fluids in you, you need to drink every half hour or so, hopefully that will make you feel better." Carlisle reassured me.
They spent the next twenty minutes with Carlisle sat next to me encouraging me to drink three glasses of water, I worried about bringing it back up but luckily that didn't happen. Carlisle also checked my stomach again, which was feeling a little sore now and he managed to press against the side of one of the bruises.
"I think you need to get some sleep Bella, I promise your safe here." Carlisle told me gently, before wrapping a throw tightly around my shoulders. I snuggled more into Edward. I could feel myself falling asleep but I felt frightened I didn't want to have another nightmare.
Sensing my wariness Edward kissed the top of my head gently "I'm here Bella, nothing will happen, sleep I will protect you." He whispered.
I finally calmed down enough to allow Edward to hug me properly, once I settled curled up tightly in the throw I closed my eyes and fell asleep.
I felt more peaceful than I had done all day. I felt Esme kiss the top of my head before they left the room quietly.
Edward POV
Someone had done this to her while I was off enjoying myself with my family. The guilt that wrecked through my body in that instant was heart breaking, how I could have let something happen to her. It explained why she was so distant with me last night. What I couldn't understand was why she hadn't told me. I would have been home in a second to comfort her and tell her that everything was all right. Looking down at Bella's beautiful face I frowned as I saw her own frown playing on her face. Her sleep obviously wasn't peaceful anymore. I kissed her forehead trying to smooth out the frown lines before whispering
"Bella, its ok your safe"
It took about thirty seconds before the frown disappeared and Bella curled into me even more burying her face deeper into my chest. We must have sat like this for the next couple of hours, Bella continued to sleep peacefully for which I was grateful and she definitely needed it. Slowly she began to wake up, but I was thankful that she didn't try to move away from me at all, if anything she tried moving closer. I wrapped my arms tighter around her trying to make her feel safe. She finally opened her eyes and looked up until she met mine, which was the first time she had looked into my eyes. I looked at her smiling gently before saying
"Hey" She smiled at me in response but noticed that the smile didn't reach her eyes.
"You ok, feel sick anything hurt?" I asked in quick succession.
"I'm ok Edward I feel fine" She told me but I didn't believe her for a second.
"Bella please don't lie to me, talk to me, and trust me." I tried to reassure her, but really needing to know more of what happened at the same time. She shifted away from me slightly, but not far enough that I had to let her go.
"What do you want me to say Edward, I don't know what you want to hear." She replied a bit of anger seeping into her tone.
"Bella I'm worried about you, someone hurt you when I wasn't there to protect you. I need to know who, what and why." I replied trying to keep my voice even.
Bella sighed before shifting further away from me so that she sat crossed legged facing me, but once again refusing to meet my eyes. After an eternity Bella finally began to speak. "As to the why part I don't know. I had planned on having a quiet night in a hot bath reading a good book. There was a knock at the door I was tempted to ignore it but decided not to incase it was important. James stood at the door and pushed his way in I tried to shut the door but he stopped me. I tried running towards the back door but he grabbed me pushing me to the floor, I was struggling to breathe, the floor had knocked all the air out of me…" Bella paused taking a deep breath.
I reached out to take a hold of her hands trying to offer some support but she pulled away. "Sorry Edward, I feel so dirty, you shouldn't touch me." Bella replied pulling her hands away from mine.
"Hey, listen no matter what has happened I love you, you are not dirty and I want to hold you until all the pain and bad memories have gone away." I replied taking a hold of her hands again although she flinched she didn't pull away. A knock on the door brought us out of the bubble we were in. Mum and Dad half-opened the door before coming in fully once they noticed Bella awake.
"Hey guys, how are you feeling Bella?" my Dad asked standing at the foot of the bed, while Mum came and sat next to us.
"I'm feeling better thank you." She replied quietly still not looking at anyone.
"That's good as long as you've not been sick again." My Dad said smiling kindly at Bella.
"Are you ready to tell us what happened sweetheart?" My Mum asked taking one of Bella's hands from mine and into her own.
"We were just talking about that." I replied glaring at my parents for interrupting. Nobody said anything we just waited patiently for Bella to continue. After an eternity she did as if she hadn't stopped talking at all. "He sat on me and grabbed my hands holding them above my head. Pulling my jumper off, tying my hands with it. I tried to move but he was just too heavy. He started touching me all over there was nothing else I could do. When he took my pants off I finally knew what he was planning to do…" She faltered a tear rolling down her cheek.
Mum was also crying and almost knocked me out-of-the-way whilst wrapping Bella in a tight hug. I half expected Bella to push her away like she had me but instead Bella clung to her for dear life.
Once their tears had subsided a little my Dad asked "Bella I'm sorry I have to ask this but did he rape you?"
Bella didn't move herself from my Mum's arms but nodded her head in response confirming my worst fears. I sat there frozen on the bed unsure of what I was to do next. "Edward come with me for a sec, leave Bella with your Mother." I didn't want to leave Bella but my father didn't give me any room for argument. I numbly followed him out the room and down the stairs. Once we reached the living room my Dad turned to me saying "Edward this is incredibly tough on all of us but especially you and Bella. But you have to stay strong for her." He told me before engulfing me in a tight hug. I wrapped my arms around him in return before pulling away.
"What do we do?" I asked completely unsure about how to handle this situation.
"We don't really have a choice here. What happens next is up to Bella." Dad responded whilst I sighed in frustration.
"I want to be able to make things better for her. I feel helpless." I whispered.
"Edward the only thing you could do is be there for her." He told me.
I nodded my head turning away from my father and made my way back to Bella. Pushing the door open quietly I stepped back into the room, Bella was lay curled up on her side, eyes closed hopefully she was sleeping again. "Shh" my Mum whispered motioning to Bella. My Mum slowly moved off the bed coming over to wrap me in a hug kissing my cheek before leaving the room. I took my Mum's place staring down at Bella wondering how the hell I was going to help her.
Esme pov
I couldn't believe something so awful had happened to someone so beautiful. She was now going through absolute hell. Leaving Bella in Edward's capable hands I headed downstairs finding the others in the living room Carlisle was explaining what had happened.
"…Bella's going to need all of us she's scared, worried that none of us will like her anymore." Carlisle explained gently.
"But that's ridiculous, Edward loves her and we see her as a sister. That's not going to change now." Alice whispered as tears rolled endlessly down her cheeks. Going over to Alice I wrapped her in a tight hug.
"Alice I know just how much you love Bella, just how much you all love Bella and we will help Bella to realise this. We will get through this." I responded smiling reassuringly at all my children.
It had been an exhausting day, and tomorrow was likely to be even worse. I encouraged everyone to get a good night's sleep. Before I went to my room I checked on Bella encouraged to see her fast asleep with Edward holding her protectively. Somehow I knew things would be just fine for Bella. Closing the door carefully I headed towards my room, on entering I heard the showing running leaving Carlisle to distress in his own way I pulled on a pair of comfy pyjamas and climbed into the comfy bed hugging a pillow close to me allowing the tears to spill out in excessive torrents. There was no way I was able to stop them now. The first time I noticed Carlisle was on the bed was when he wrapped his big strong arms around my waist pulling me towards him. My hands let go of the pillow and clung to Carlisle instead. Not a word spoken between us, but the comfort of holding one another helped calm my tears. Eventually we must have dropped off to sleep.
I didn't know how long we'd been asleep before being jolted awake by a blood curdling scream. I jumped from bed already half way across the room before Carlisle was even sitting up. Bella was obviously having a nightmare and she doubted that Edward would be able to help her until she was awake and rational.
Walking into the spare bedroom I found Bella curled up on the floor in the corner of the room as far away from Edward as she could get. Glancing at my Son I could see the hurt and fear in his eyes as he watched the women he loved fall apart and he couldn't even touch her. Slowly walking over to Bella I kneeled down a few feet away and whispered her name when she didn't respond I called her again a little louder and her head whipped up looking straight at me the fear evident. Her eyes landed on Edward as fresh tears streamed down her cheeks.
"Bella its ok no one is going to hurt you here." I told her moving a little closer hoping to to calm Bella down enough to hug her.
"What happened?" Carlisle whispered causing Bella to stiffen before scrambling to the en suite bathroom.
"Why don't you two leave me to calm her down?" I suggested knowing that Bella would have trouble calming down with either of them around.
"But…" Edward began to protest before Carlisle stopped him.
"Come on, she'll be fine let your mum help she will be better by morning." Carlisle told him leading him from the room.
I peeked into the bathroom and saw Bella leaning over the toilet throwing up once again. Rushing over I held her hair rubbing her back soothingly. Once she flushed the toilet I knew she wasn't going to be sick again. I helped Bella lean against the wall whilst I wet a cloth and ran it over Bella's face and arms helping her to cool down.
"Are you feeling better huni?" I asked sitting next to her pulling Bella into a tight hug.
"I'm not sure." Bella admitted quietly whilst shaking.
"Did you have a nightmare?" I asked though already knowing the answer. Bella nodded her head leaning further into myde. They sat in silence for a while before I managed to get Bella back to bed. She was already half asleep but could tell she was fighting it. "Sleep I'll stay with you, your safe I promised." I whispered laying Bella into her side stroking her hair as she drifted off to sleep once again. I continued to stroke Bella's hair for the next half hour, trying to make sure she was in a deep sleep before settling my self down closing my eyes in complete exhaustion.
Bella pov
I awoke the next morning to find Esme laid next to me. She had arm protectively wrapped over my waist making sure I was safe. As carefully as possible I slipped from under Esme's arms and headed into the bathroom. Using the toilet I winced at the burning sensation, everything hurt from the waist down tears springing to my eyes as I thought about the reason behind the pain. Pulling my pj bottoms back up I noticed a bit of blood in the toilet, more tears fell on my cheeks as I began to realise that I would have to tell Esme or Carlisle just in case something was seriously wrong. Washing my hands in the sink I splashed water over my face hoping to get rid of some of the redness so as not to look like I'd had another break down.
Taking a deep breath I opened the door and headed back into the bedroom. Glancing at the bed I noticed Esme wasn't there any more looking over at the door I considered leaving the room going to find Edward to apologize but just couldn't face it how was he ever going to forgive me for the way I behaved last night. Walking over to the window I pulled back the curtains to see the sun just breaking over the horizon I sighed as another day begun one where I would never be the same again. That thought alone brought tears to my eyes, frustrated with all the crying I'd had done I fiercely wiped away the tears that had managed to fall before pacing around the room to wound up to sit still. I allowed the anger to flow through my veins preferring this emotion to any other I had felt over the last few days, the pacing was doing no good, my hands clenched into fists at my sides shaking from all the raw emotion. I paused resting my forehead against the nearest wall before hitting it with my fists as hard as I could. I pounded on the wall with both fists as hard as I could, pretending that they were him wishing that he could feel all the pain that I was feeling now. I didn't hear the bedroom door open behind me, I was to focused on my anger.
Edward pov
I stood frozen in the door way I'd never seen her like this before she was normally the quiet calm person. But this was so different, did I hold her try to stop her but if I did would she freak out like last night I couldn't take that risk. "Mum, Dad" I shouted from the door way, knowing that both me and Bella were going to need their help before turning towards Bella taking a step closer.
"Bella love, you're hurting yourself please stop." I whispered so as not to startle her, I didn't think she even knew I was there. I noticed that Bella paused for a second but then continued to pound the wall with all her strength. Moving to her side I noticed how bloodied her hands were looking I had to get her to stop "Bella I love you with all my heart, you're hurting yourself please stop" I tried again putting all my love into this to try to convince her.
Slowly Bella's hits became less forceful, I took another cautious step towards Bella gently wrapping my hands around her wrists to stop her from causing any more damage to her hands. I could feel Bella shaking under my touch and was unsure if it was because of my touch or what she was thinking or feeling. Without a word I gently tugged on Bella's arms guiding her back to the bed sitting her down on the edge whilst I knelt in front of her. Gently I turned her hands over which were still clenched in tight fists, using my own hands I pried her fingers open to see nail marks deep into her palms leaning down I kissed her palms trying to ease some of her pain. Glancing up I watched as Bella's eyes became huge at my actions.
I noticed Mum and Dad were in the door way both running up after hearing me shout, however they didn't want to just jump in I was helping Bella calm down sometimes the less people the easier it was. Once I had managed to get Bella on to the bed resting against the headboard they both approached slowly, Mum going to sit next to her on the bed whilst Dad sat on her other side yet not touching her.
"Bella, I need to take a look at your hands is that ok?" Dad asked carefully waiting for Bella's response. Slowly she nodded her head whilst keeping her eyes trained on the foot of the bed. I moved out-of-the-way so that he could get a little closer. "Edward could you get my bag, plus some warm water and cloths to help clean these cuts" Dad asked giving me the chance to leave the room for a few minutes and take a break.
I quickly did as I asked jogging back into the room placing everything on the bed in easy reach. Dad picked up Bella's left hand in his and just as I did he stretched out her fingers which had closed in a fist again. He lightly pressed into the back of her hand causing Bella to wince and pull her hand away from his grasp. "Sorry Bella I didn't mean to hurt you. Can you tell us why you were punching the wall?" he asked trying to work out what was going on in Bella's head.
I watched as Bella wrapped her arms around her knees pulling her legs to her. She began to shake tears sliding down her cheeks as she buried her head in her arms. We could hear her muttering "I'm sorry" over and over as her tears turned into sobs. I climbed on to the bed and picked up Bella cradling her into my lap wrapping my strong arms around her shaking frame. Mum sat next to us stroking Bella's hair as I whispered over and over how much we loved her and that this wasn't her fault. After what felt like a lifetime Bella slowly calmed down exhaustion taking over once again she lent further into me resting her head underneath my chin. Closing her eyes I watched as she tried to shut the world out. Everything was quiet for a while before silently Dad began cleaning the cuts on Bella's knuckles and wrapping bandages around both of them. Bella either didn't feel what was happening or just couldn't fight it any more. Motioning to Esme they left the room as I settled into the bed so that we were laying down hoping to allow Bella to rest properly.
The rest of the morning passed quietly, Bella slept for a couple of hours watched over by the three of us. Through whispered conversations we had decided that Bella needed to go to the hospital, Dad was certain that her left hand was broken and he wanted to make sure that there was no serious damage after the attack. Once Bella was finally awake. Dad told her what he wanted her to do. She surprised us all by agreeing though they could see the fear in her eyes. Mum helped Bella off the bed and led her down stairs with me and Dad following close behind.
Bella pov
The hospital was a living hell for me. Carlisle had pulled some strings so that I didn't have to wait. I'm terrified of what the doctors would think of me. Did they think I was a slut? sitting in a private room, fingering a hospital gown that Carlisle had insisted I wear. Esme stood by the window whilst Edward and Carlisle were nowhere to be seen. A gentle knock at the door caused me to jump and a small scream escape from my lips, Esme was by my side within seconds. Two women entered a doctor and nurse.
"Hi Bella I'm Dr Walker but please call me Jayne, this is Laura. How are you feeling?" Jayne asked as she sat in the chair by the bed I sat on.
Without meeting anyones eyes I shrugged my shoulders not wanting to tell them how scared I really was. I could feel myself shaking again but knowing I needed to be here I tried taking a couple of deep breaths. "I know how scared you are now..." Jayne began but I interrupted her.
"No you don't how could you, none of you know..."
"Hush Bella its ok everything's ok" Esme whispered stroking back my hair and taking the hand that wasn't broken in her own.
'Ok Bella we need to make sure that everything is ok, why don't you lie down and we can get started then you can go home." the nurse said helping me to lie against the pillows. The second I lay down I shut my mind down not wanting to feel the hands all over my body I turned my head to the side away from everyone else in the room and closed my eyes tight. I knew Esme was close by but one more sympathetic look from any of them and I may lose it all over again.
"Ok huni were all done, your ok, why don't you open your eyes for me." I heard someone say but I didn't want to see the look in their eyes they all knew I was a slut now. I could feel myself shaking again and my breathing coming out in short gasps. I could hear whispers around me but couldn't make out what they were saying. Suddenly strong arms surrounded me pulling me into someone and holding me there. I tried to fight it but they were just to strong like last time.
"Bella your safe we love you nothings going to hurt you again I promise." Someone whispered I thought it was Edward but couldn't be sure. My head started to feel fussy and my lungs burnt they weren't getting enough oxygen. I felt a second pair of hands hold my arm still as something sharp stuck into my arm. My limbs became heavy and I couldn't move them any more, both pair of arms let me go as they put back on my bed but remembered no more as the blackness took over.
Carlisle's pov
Esme let out a strangled sob as Bella was finally asleep and Edward sat by her bed wiping her hair from her forehead. Dr Walker turned to me and motioned for me to follow her out of the room. "What did you find?" I asked desperate to find out everything I could.
"Quite a bit of bruising on her thighs and internally, I don't think she needs stitches but she may bleed for a while." Jayne told me. I could see how affected she was by all this.
"Thank you I'm going to get her hand and wrist x-rayed whilst she's out so I can splint or pot if needed. I'd rather not have her stay over night do you think you'd prescribe some sedatives incase she needs them. I'm hoping she'd be comfortable at home." I asked hoping Jayne would agree.
"I don't see why not, being in a safe familiar place is probably the best right now. I'll write the prescription, though I think counselling might be beneficial as well." She responded before walking away to do as I asked.
In record time I managed to get a portable x-ray and scanned Bella's wrist and hand, deciding to both to be sure. Luckily only her hand was. There was no way a pot could be put on with the cuts to her hand. So I put on a removable splint to keep the wrist still, whilst the cuts healed. It wasn't ideal but would have to do. I'd just finished as Bella began to stir the sedative wearing off. Her eyes fluttered open and began to focus on my face, I could easily see the fear there and her inner battle with herself as she tried to fight it.
"Bella your safe I promise, how about we head home?" I asked moving away slightly to allow her a little space. Bella nodded her head and sat herself up wincing at the movement she must have felt sore all over.
"Slowly Bella your going to be pretty sore for a while, and your hand's broken, its in a splint for now until your cuts heal. I'm also going to put it in a sling as well to further help support it." I told her gently smiling kindly.
Bella nodded her head in response before me and Edward left whilst Esme helped Bella dress again.
Bella pov
Esme tried not to stare at the bruises that covered parts of my body, but couldn't help it and tears slowly poured down her face at the thought of what they meant. "I'm sorry Esme I didn't mean to make you cry." I whispered staring at Esme with wide eyes. Esme sighed before pulling me into a tight hug. She finished helping me dress and then we left finding Carlisle and Edward in the entrance waiting for us.
The ride back to the house was quiet I was practically hugging the car door on my side as far away from anyone as possible. I closed my eyes hoping that everyone would stop staring at me. But I think there was nothing that was going to stop that. When I opened my eyes again Edward sat on the other side of the car staring at me his hands twitching in his lap it was obvious that he wanted nothing more than to hold onto my hands or pull me to him offering me any amount of comfort possible. The car pulled to a stop at the front of the house as Edward practically jumped out of the car running round to my door. Opening it carefully so as not to startle me he gently supported my upper body lifting her into his strong arms holding me against his chest. I looked up at Edward who smiled down at me leaning in to place a kiss on my forehead. I surprised myself and Edward by not flinching away and curled into him further resting my head against his forehead. With Carlisle and Esme on either side Edward carried me into the house pausing only to kick off his shoes and heading towards the stairs.
"Urm..." I began but stopped looking away.
"What is it you can ask for anything and I'll give it to you." Edward encouraged stroking his hand along my back where he held me.
"I don't want to go upstairs back to bed I don't want to go to sleep." I whispered missing out that I'm scared to fall asleep, his face was the only one that I would see.
"Of course sweetheart how about we settle on the couch watch a film." Edward suggested. I nodded in agreement.
Edward settled me onto the couch surrounded by pillows and blankets. Picking up my feet Edward sat resting my legs on top of his own rubbing soothing circles into the top of my feet. I looked up to see Esme smiling at the two of us her eyes saying that everything would work out. That I would eventually be ok.