Ok guys, here we go. This is my first FF and I hope you'll like it!
Sorry for any mistakes or strange choice of words, but english is a foreign language to me.
Unfortunately I do not own any of the charcters and they belong to Marvel.

So I hope you'll enjoy reading. Reviews :)

If he'd only feel the way I do

She stood at a balcony somewhere in LA and leaned into Tony to kiss him, when he'd stop her. He'd step away and laugh. Not a nice gentle laugh, but he laughed at her.

„How could you even think, that someone like me could fall for someone like you?! Potts, you stupid little ginger! You will never get someone. You're not worth it and every person in the world would only talk or even look at you because they pity you." His voice turned deeper and louder, he practically yelled at her. „You DARE to try to kiss me? You are a nothing! I'm the hero, the billionaire, the playboy. So do us all a favor and leave."

„Where should I go?" She cried. His words were like knifes in her body. Like her blood was replaced by acid and her heart ripped off of her chest and splintered on the floor. Little pearls all over the floor shining and sparkling like the stars, but causing the most psychical pain and damage to their owner. „Why should I leave, I've done anything to no-one. Where should I go? I…I…I have no-one but you."

„I didn't mean leave like go away. I meant leave like just leave this world!"

With this words he pushed her over the railing and she closed her eyes willingly to take what's left of her pride and dignity and fell, happily awaiting her death to end all this pain.

03:47h AM

The dreams were always the same. Peppers eyes snapped open for the third time this night. Her breath was heavy and tears streamed down her cheeks, her body was covered with sweat.

She reached behind her to push the button and lamp above her lit up. She went over to the window and opened it so a cool breeze could enter her room and comfort her.

She woke up, because of the same nightmare that returns every night since they shared the dance at the benefit, where she had nearly kissed him, her boss. That was totally not ok and she knew it. She wasn't supposed to feel that way for him. It was wrong. He was her boss, her employer.

And yet she felt like that. He caused her to fly high above the clouds, to sing like no-one could hear her and to be happy without a doubt, and the next second he let everything crash down around her. She was confused. She couldn't understand their relationship. One time she felt like he actually likes her above their professional relationship and friendship, but two seconds after that he'd act like a stranger to her. She couldn't handle and sort out the signals he gave her. He wanted to dance with her and he led them to the balcony to get some air, his hand placed on the small of her back. He had stared at her lips while she was talking and when she finally found her courage to walk the mile and finally kiss the love of her life – „No, he's your boss Pepper! You couldn't think about him that way!" she thought to herself.

Pepper sighted and returned to her bed, trying to get back to sleep. But the thoughts in her head spun around like the butterflies in her stomach, every time she just thought of him.

What would have happened if she had just kissed him? Had he kissed back and would she be with him now, happily sleeping against his chest, in his arms? Or would he have pushed her away? Not like in her dream, but excuses him that it wouldn't be right and made her resign?

A part of her brain was relieved that she hadn't kissed him and that he had left to get some drinks, because their relationship hadn't changed to worse, for god sake. But the other 99% of her mind regretted it completely. She wanted him so desperately, so utterly that she could hardly breathe when he enters the room, that she couldn't sleep anymore, cuddled her pillow pretending it was him and stuttered when she needed to talk to him in no professional way.

„You have turned into a love-sick teenager. You fool." Pepper slapped her forehead with her palm.

She knew how he was with woman. That he laid blond, models with no brain and boobs big as melons. Sure he was flirty towards Pepper, too, but he was flirty towards every woman. And still she wasn't his type of girl he would choose to sleep with, let alone start a relationship. She was the complete opposite. Never aware of her appearance and looking, the sudden lack of self-confidence when he looked into her eyes let alone touch her and her strawberry hair which made her so different from those bimbos he normally took.

The more she thought about it the more tears built in her eyes. She would never be able to be with the man she loved so longingly and desperate.

For Pepper it was not about sex or kisses or cuddling up in bed, watching an old black and white movie, this would be belongings to a relationship. For Pepper it was that she would never be able to look him straight in the eyes and get lost in his chocolate-brown seas. That she would never be able to just sit on the couch with him talking about their day, chatting and laughing, to never being able to see the sparkle in his eyes when she would smile at him.

She sat up once again hugging her knees to her chest, resting her forehead on her knees and started heavily sobbing. Her feelings that had been accumulated for so long, for too long broke their way out now. She realized that she would never ever hear those three words from him towards her. He would never tell her, what she felt for him for so long now. He would never say „I Love You."

Pepper brushed her tears away with her thumb, but they still stroke down.
„If he'd only feel the way I do. I'd do everything for just one moment with him."

03:47h AM

What Pepper didn't knew, ca. 9 miles away from her condo, Tony was standing at the window in his bedroom and leaned against the frame. He couldn't sleep and stared down on the ocean where the moon left his silver light. His head was crowded with thoughts of Pepper and how he could show her how he truly felt. His decision was made: He would get that kiss and he would get what he wanted so desperately, too: Pepper. He would not start a relationship with a woman it would be better, he would start a life with his beloved Pepper. He would finally tell her that he loves her.

Phew written in less than two hours. Thanks for reading ;-)