This is a quick oneshot that just kind of came to me, and I decided to write it down. In this Dark is no longer part of Daisuke, and the former tamer and Riku have solidified their relationship as a bonafied couple. Their age is around 19 or 20-ish for reference, though they're not married yet. The ways of women are mysterious, and us guys just have to somehow keep up with it all. This Daisuke has certainly come to know well…
"Daisuke…" Riku started with a slightly pensive tone of voice a little while after she had quietly wandered into the living room and sat down in a comfy chair, startling a magazine-reading Daisuke a slight bit due to the unusualness of the delivery. When Riku was being pensive, it rarely was a particularly good sign.
"Y-yeah?" he asked a little shakily, though thankfully Riku seemed to not notice the undercurrent of slight trepidation.
"Can I ask you something?" she asked as she half-turned her head toward her boyfriend.
"Sure. Of course, you can ask me anything, Riku-san," Daisuke assured her with a nod of the head and his habitual smile.
Riku took a small pause before turning away again, saying, "…or maybe it's a bit silly," in the process causing Daisuke to give a slight stare of his own at the girl's behaviour.
He sighed to himself inaudibly. Well, now there was no getting away from it. Something was bothering Riku and, if Daisuke took her words at face value, there would definitely be hell to pay a lot more than if he did not inquire further into Riku's particular mood of consternation right now.
"No, please, tell me if something's bothering you. I mean, you know you can tell me anything, Riku-san. Anything at all. I'm always right here to listen to anything what you have on your heart," Daisuke said, hoping to sound eager enough to make the girl believe that Daisuke truly wanted to step onto thin ice.
"Really?" Riku asked with another pensive glance directed toward her boyfriend.
"Yeah, of course! I am your favourite boyfriend, after all," Daisuke lightly reaffirmed with a firm nod.
"Well.." Riku started, looking away again, taking a small breather pause, before just coming out saying it, "Daisuke… do you… do you think Risa is prettier than I am?"
If Daisuke ever wanted to feel what being struck by lightning felt like, the feeling he was now experiencing must have been pretty close to that exact state of mind. Where the heck did this question suddenly come from? "Umm… W-what do you mean, Riku-san?"
"Well, everybody's always saying how Risa's somehow cuter or prettier or sexier, or stuff like that, than I am. Well, is she?" Riku demanded, now sporting a stern expression on her face that clearly spelled 'you better make it good'.
Daisuke felt like wanting to throw up at the unreasonable question. What was that even about? "N-no… I mean, she's not bad looking, but…"
"So you think she's better looking, too, don't you?" Riku said, starting to sound a bit angry now.
"I… I didn't mean t-that at all, no! I was just…" Daisuke panicked at the shifting tone of voice.
"You think I'm fat, don't you?" Riku said with a scowl now adorning her face.
"Ha ha… with that exercise regime of yours…" Daisuke tried joking his way through the sudden scary turn the events seemed to be moving at.
"So, what you're saying is that I look like a MAN then?" Riku practically shouted.
"What? N-n-no, I d-didn't say t-t-that at a-all! I w-was just…" Daisuke stuttered in fear.
"You think I should grow a beard and become a lumberjack, don't you, Niwa-kun? You think I'm some kind of a freakishly un-womanly mass of muscles you think needs to be in a circus, don't you?" she asked furiously, emphasising the fact that she used his family name instead of his first name.
Daisuke was already sweating pellets of water like bullets, knowing full well that Riku was one force to be reckoned with when she got angry. He knew she could be tempestuous at times, but sometimes her shifts in moods were just ridiculous. "No! I wasn't saying that at all! I… I think you have a very nice and beautifully toned body! Very nice and womanly in a very healthy, womanly way! Really! Your sister doesn't even compare in my eyes to you at all! I mean, not. At. All," Daisuke assured, desperately trying to appease the woman in front of him.
For a moment Daisuke looked on in silent hope as Riku seemed to calm down for a bit that the worst had been averted thanks to his quick thinking… only for his hope to be dashed to pieces by Riku's very next line, "So you think I'm ugly then?"
Daisuke was starting to feel like he was being pummelled in a boxing ring with one surprise jab after the next he could not predict coming his way as he stuttered, "Wha… ha… what… he… I… eh… ehh…."
"Well?" Riku snapped, getting tired of Daisuke's inability to enunciate understandable words.
"I… I… But I - I didn't say anything like that at all!" Daisuke defended himself, almost ready to piss his pants at this stage.
"You implied it!" Riku argued back.
"H… How?" Daisuke asked, wanting to know where the fault was supposed to lie.
"You said you didn't find Risa attractive at all. Ergo, that would by default mean that you don't find me attractive at all! Clear enough?" Riku said angrily.
How did that make any sense at all Daisuke had to wonder. He tried struggling some kind of words out of his mouth, but the best he could do in the situation was to vainly open and close his mouth as if he was a goldfish in a bowl of water.
Riku didn't wait for Daisuke to gather his wits about him before continuing, "You know we're identical twins, right? Identical! That means what ever goes for her goes for me too!"
"No, that… that was not at all what I was saying!" Daisuke defended himself as he regained his voice.
"But that's what you thought, correct?" Riku demanded.
"No! No no no! I.. I just meant that… I mean, that if I had to choose, then… then there'd be no contest. You're like night and day. And… and if I'd have to choose, I wouldn't give Risa-san even a glance with you in the same room! Really, I mean it! You have a lot more charms that I find more to my liking, truly!" Daisuke explained as best as his feverished mind could cook up something… anything to say to calm his girl down who was looking so furious that it made Daisuke pray that she wouldn't get the urge to become physical. After all, Daisuke certainly didn't want to hit a woman, so he'd be completely defenceless if Riku decided to serve him a knuckle sandwich… not that he supposed he could win against Riku even if he did try defending himself. Sometimes he really had to wonder where all the girl's strength came from even beyond her sporty ways.
In the mean while Riku had stopped shouting as she had descended into simply giving Daisuke a slightly doubtful glare, looking as if she was carefully mulling over something Daisuke had just said. Daisuke on the other hand was again starting to hope that maybe he had escaped with just a big scare, and that Riku was now convinced enough that he considered her much more to his liking than Risa.
But Riku had a unique ability to obliterate any such thoughts by simply narrowing her eyes and hissing out through clenched teeth, "Wait, were you trying to badmouth my sister?"
And Daisuke could feel the pressure in his groin starting to intensify once more. He seriously could have cried at this point. Riku-san, what do you want me to say?
"Well? Were you? Because if you were trying to insult my one and only, most beloved twin, then I assure you there's going to be hell to pay!" Riku threatened with a clenched fist, fully prepared to defend her sister's honour if need be.
"No, no, I… I didn't… I mean wasn't… that is…" Daisuke whined, starting to feel exhausted from all the mental tribulations he had undergone in the last few minutes.
Riku on her behalf glowered at him for a few more seconds before finally giving up with a growl and exclaiming in frustration, "Jeez, sometimes it's impossible to talk to you, Daisuke!" And with that she jumped off her chair and stormed out of the room, leaving a very tired Daisuke in her wake.
Daisuke ran his hand through his hair and rubbed his face that was sweaty and clammy. Though he loved Riku as much as he possibly could, sometimes he seriously had to think whether it would have been better to have kept gunning at Risa after all. "Why do women have to be so difficult? I wonder if Satoshi-kun has to ever deal with this sort of stuff…" he murmured to himself as he gave a heavy sigh, "This is going to require a lot of make-up sex…"
- O -
And in another part of town, in an averagely sized apartment, the unwitting third member of Riku and Daisuke's argument was reclining on a sofa, waiting for her boyfriend to return from the store with ingredients for a dinner he promised to prepare for them, when suddenly an odd thought struck her out of the blue.
"Mmm… I wonder why I suddenly got the urge to have wild animal sex with Satoshi so badly…"
I debated whether to put that last part in there, but went ahead and did it anyway. And you can bet your horses that arguing makes Riku horny. You know, arguing with women is one of the most futile exercises ever. Guys, don't even bother.
