He, who is My Other Half: A Guest from A Funeral

Fandom: Chuck/White Collar

Rating: T/15+

Genre: Drama-Romance

Pairing/Characters: Bryce Larkin/Chuck Bartowski, Chuck Bartowski/Neal Caffrey (shorta), Sarah Walker, John Casey, Kate Moreau, Mozzie Havisham

Summary: Really, Neal didn't even try to impersonate Bryce. Not at all. But now he knew why Bryce loved this Chuck guy… for he almost felt the same way after what just happened.

Disclaimer: Both Chuck and White Collar belong to their respected owners. No profit is made from this piece.

Warning: hints of male x male, AU, setting of time for Chuck is right after S01E07 (Chuck vs The Alma Mater) and Pre-series White Collar

A/N: Ha, I know, once I start, I can't really stop. Yes, it's relatively fast (faster than my usual muse), and yes, this is the third installment for 'Twin Brothers Saga' series. It's kinda fun messing around with Neal and Bryce anyway. So, please, help yourself with the story.

A Guest from A Funeral

There was a time from a long time ago, when Neal could feel what happened to Bryce, psychologically.

There was also a time where he felt so connected to Bryce that he could almost feel his pain and presence near Neal, physically.

Then again, after a moment of consideration, Bryce was probably near at that time because Bryce was just like that, like a ghost who didn't stop haunting the person he cared about (even though he wasn't a ghost for being still alive). And his emails, which of course were always coded and encrypted (they liked to stay sharp, interesting and clever), were kind of ridiculously informative about Neal's daily activities that Neal was almost certain that his big brother was stalking him.

Except maybe, Bryce wasn't.

Neal remembered the talk, in the morning after Bryce's last visit, which involved hugging, kissing and cuddling in Neal's bed the night before. It was quite shocking knowing that Bryce was recruited by the government to be a CIA agent, trained to steal, kill and survive like no normal human being should. Neal knew that Bryce was ridiculously gifted with a lot of interesting talents, but this… this was really shocking even for Neal.

For government actually corrupting his twin brother like that… Neal was harboring a slight grudge and hatred towards them. No wonder Neal sometimes felt really painful in specific places in his body… literally, and for no reason at all. Bryce was probably shot at a lot. Neal hated guns, really.

Well, it explained Bryce's intel though. Bryce probably used his skill to track Neal down, and his special connection to feel where Neal whereabouts, or what he was doing at the moment or such things. That was how he found Neal each time Neal had to move, again and again.

Oh, and Neal also remembered that he had to make Bryce a breakfast in bed because he was too disoriented to eat on the table. Neal was sure Bryce was faking that one, the cunning bastard. The guy didn't even get drunk the night before. It must have been his act training, Neal almost believed him, except the fact that Neal knew him too well to get fooled.

But then again, Bryce probably just wanted to be spoiled once in a while. God knew how hard his twin worked to get their dad's approval (Neal wondered if Bryce told their father about his job), and with their mom gone and only an ignorant sister who wasn't exactly around, of course Bryce wanted to feel any human contact. Not just any, a contact from a person who actually cared about him.

And the fact that Bryce just lost his special person…

Neal understood that perfectly, that was why he didn't say anything even though he knew Bryce was lying about his headache. He probably just wanted to avoid talking, or because he was embarrassed for crying like a baby the night before. Bryce was too hard-ass to ask for any help. Besides, Neal wanted to spoil his big brother once in awhile as well. After all, it's just them. They had only each other. It was just them or someone else, and Neal pretty much liked the idea.

Yet, the night before, Bryce admitted that he had found the one, the one who didn't fit in any category of 'them and someone else'.

Chuck, Bryce had mentioned his name. A best friend, a secret crush, the one whom Bryce treasured with his life. Neal wanted to see him personally someday, getting to know why Bryce loved this guy so much that he risked losing his friendship and trust just to save his innocence and life, allegedly.

Neal already knew about every secret Bryce had, including his job and mission. Bryce already trusted Neal with his life and heart; of course he could trust Neal with the secrets as well. Besides, no one knew about Bryce and Neal's relationship. No one knew Neal even existed in Bryce's life, except maybe their biological family (but he doubted that his father would admit it for Neal was considered a disgrace by his Larkin's name).

And Neal also had a lot of aliases. Yes, he took a job which was similar to Bryce's, except he worked for himself… and his recent girlfriend.

Kate was wonderful. She was pretty, witty and charming. And the fact that she liked classics was a bonus. Neal had had a lot of adventure working in this line of work. Yes, it was bending law a bit… but he never truly broke his honorable code.

No violence, no killing. Use brains, just take what you can (and deserve) from people who deserve punishing, and of course, don't forget to share it with the ones who need it more.

There, it wasn't half bad. Neal was good at what he was doing. And he was kind of an adrenalin junkie, so it was the best. He made sure no innocent would get hurt from his action. No real damage done, except maybe to the bad guy. And no one died. The police and feds should be grateful to him.

But maybe Federal Agents were too proud to receive any help from Neal with his extravagant way of doing his job. That was why Peter was chasing him down now. Damn. And Peter was hot too. Too bad Neal had to be his opponent.

Anyway, it wasn't about that. What was Neal trying to say again? He got quite distracted in the middle.

Oh yeah, right. Now, it was about a more pressing matter, in relation to the fact that he was connected to Bryce in a special-twin way.

Neal had this scary dream, where he became Bryce there and did something to a computer and there were hazy loads of pictures which didn't make any sense at all, and then a blast of explosion, and the next thing he knew he got shot on his chest.

Neal woke up screaming in mortification, shocking Kate who was sleeping beside him.

Anyway, Neal got a panic attack from his dream which was highly unusual for a calm, collected person like him, and of course succeeded in making Kate worried. The girl had to ask if he needed an ambulance or something.

"I am fine, Kate… just a nightmare… I think…," Neal ended up calming Kate after he himself calmed down from his panicky. In this reassuring thing, Alex (his former girlfriend) was better than Kate. But Neal couldn't trust Alex like he trusted Kate, so he had made his choice.

Still, even though he convinced himself that it was just a nightmare, he couldn't chase out the uneasy feeling from his tightened chest. He knew something bad happened to Bryce, but it couldn't be that. No way would Bryce get…!

Neal shook his head, not wanting to think further despite his worry. It was just a nightmare… an exaggerating nightmare.

However, some days later…

Neal widened his eyes at the news he read from his laptop when he was eating breakfast with Mozzie and Kate in a café near his latest hideout. He was just curious… he checked the local newspaper in Burbank, California (despite Neal himself being in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania) because his biological family lived there, and Neal was still worried about his dream, and he probably wanted to find something, anything about Bryce which could ease his mind even though the possibility of Bryce being in newspaper was as thin as a thread of nylon.

Bryce was a secret agent, remember?

Yet, the providence of the world could never cease to bewilder Neal, for the newest news that hailed him was shocking him to the bone.

This can't be happening…!

Neal's face was as pale as corpse when he read it further. Mozzie seemed to notice that.

"Neal? What's wrong?" the glasses wearing bald man asked, looking slightly worried seeing Neal's horrified expression.

"I… I have to go." Neal stated simply slightly disoriented, closed his laptop before standing and then ran out of the café leaving his best friend and girlfriend without warning, surprising them, laptop in his hand, not caring that Kate and Moz were shouting his names confusedly and worriedly.

This is a lie…! This can't be true…!

Horrendous thoughts were spinning uncontrollably inside Neal's head. The news must have been a mistake; or at least a fake.

That's right. Bryce can't be dead…! He just emailed me some days before… working this super secret project, 'Intersect' or something…! He can't die! It must be fake rumors to fend off the bad guys…

Right… it must be…!

But then, Bryce would have emailed Neal again if something like that happened. Neal had expected some e-mails after his nightmare or surprising visit from Bryce if something like the case with Chuck happened again.

Mail never came… so did Bryce.

If Neal didn't open the Burbank local newspaper website, he wouldn't know…

It was his father who set the news on the newspaper. Probably to tell their relatives because there were too many to be notified by phone calls.

No…! That's not true…! That's not…!

Neal was almost in tears when he ordered a first class ticket under the name of Nick Halden, recklessly not checking first if that alias had been monitored by the FBI. Honestly, right then Neal didn't give a damn about it. He just needed to go to Burbank as soon as possible. He needed to confirm that it was false news.

—ChuckBartowskiXNealCaffrey—

The sight that greeted Neal in funeral home (as soon as he landed and disguised himself in the nearest salon, with neck-length blond wig, slightly thick beard and mustache, and of course, honey colored contact lens and sunglasses) was… was too unbelievable, too surreal.

It was indeed Bryce's funeral. His name and his smiling pictures from where he was younger were on the coffin. Closed casket, Neal noticed. Neal wanted to check… wanted to know if it was really Bryce's body in the coffin.

He was stopped though.

"You don't want to do that." A gruff man who reminded Neal of a bear, probably from the funeral home, warned, blue eyes weary and sharp, stopping Neal's finger from opening the coffin.

I need to see him!—Neal almost shouted at the bear-man, but he knew better. That man was a bit too cautious, too tense for a funeral home person. He was just acting. Why wouldn't he want Neal to see Bryce?

"Why?" Neal risked asking, voice lowered so he could maintain his cover.

"Too gruesome," the guy said. "For a guy as pretty as him, it's better if you know him when he was in his best shape."

Neal faltered for a second. There was that reason as well for a closed casket. Could he take it if it really was the case?

"No…!" Tears were pooling on Neal's eyes, even though no one could see because of the sunglasses. Neal fought hard not to cry and scream there and then. He couldn't risk blowing his cover.

But Bryce…! Why…?

"He just got shot… didn't he?" Neal mumbled absentmindedly. "Why would be it too gruesome? Did they do something more to him?" He wasn't even aware that his voice was rising.

That older man that heard it widened his eyes. "How did you…?"

Crap!—Neal realized his mistake, and quickly turned around so he wouldn't have to deal with that man after the damage had been done.

But of course, Neal was being followed for being so goddamned stupid. Damn my big mouth!

Neal hurriedly increased his pace and got out of the funeral home before hiding like an elusive cat. He was Neal Caffrey, for God's sake! A professional great con-artist, forger and thief! It was in his forte to lose anyone who stalked him. So, of course… he could escape.

Neal stared at the older man from the top of the building where he was hiding. The man looked confused for losing his sight from Neal so fast.

"That man… a government's agent, huh?" Neal mumbled slightly while losing his disguise and revealed his Bryce's face. "I'm going to know what happened to Bryce… no matter what it takes." Neal vowed with narrowed eyes.

—BryceLarkinXChuckBartowski—

Chuck stared dumbly at the video tape of Bryce… his -supposed to be- interview of the recruitment. He couldn't believe his eyes.

"He will never survive out there. He's too kind-hearted!"

Bryce looked really concerned and pained when he spoke to his professor. Chuck watched Bryce… his Bryce there, his best friend, who was worried about him, and tried his best to protect him, hence the –kick Chuck out of Stanford!—fiasco.

All this time… Bryce was…

Tears started to gather on his eyes. He blinked back furiously so he wouldn't cry there. Chuck couldn't believe this. All this time… he spent his life hating Bryce for betraying him, and now he was presented with evidence that what Bryce did back then… he did it to protect Chuck from being recruited by the agency. So what was the purpose of his intersect email then? Why did Bryce like messing with his head and his heart so much?

"Chuck…?" Sarah, who watched the video beside him, looked really sympathetic and tentative.

"Why… why wouldn't he just tell me? If he wanted to protect me, why did he send the 'Intersect' to me?" Chuck didn't understand. Even though Bryce was his best friend once, apparently, he had never understood him. Not even the slightest.

"At that time… probably, he was already a spy. He couldn't compromise his cover," Sarah provided a speculative answer which was probably true because she was smart like that.

Even so… why couldn't he trust me a little bit? I was his best friend, wasn't I?

More than the betrayal, more than the pain of holding a grudge towards someone who was actually trying to save his life without even telling him, hence hurting his feeling, Chuck was hurt even more for the thought that Bryce had never trusted him as a best friend.

Did Bryce think Chuck would tell anyone about him being a spy or whether he would betray him someday? Did Bryce think that little of him?

"Chuck…," Sarah held his shoulder and hugged him gently, seeming understanding the turmoil in Chuck's feeling. But she had no idea.

Oh, no idea at all…

"Let's just go home…," Chuck said after pausing the video on Bryce's face. He looked solemn yet determined.

To protect me…

With great reluctance, Chuck stopped the video and ejected the disk. He took and kept it on the case and held it tight. He still couldn't forgive Bryce. Not because of his betrayal… but for having so little faith in Chuck.

—ChuckBartowskiXNealCaffrey—

Chuck came to Bryce's funeral. He was being buried six feet under, inside a closed coffin. He didn't even see his face.

Neal was also at the funeral, wearing his own face this time, only disguising it with a hat and sunglasses. He stood silently behind a tree, watching the ceremony with sad look.

After the ceremony was done, everybody was leaving quietly, one by one until only one person left. Neal stared at the curly haired man with interest. Everyone indeed looked sad, but this one person, he just looked so… numb in Neal's eyes.

He stared at the grave with blank eyes, seeming losing himself in his own mind.

"Never thought I would see you again in this way," the dark-chocolate eyed man said with a broken smile. "You're really… really good at messing with my life…," he continued before he knelt down, reaching his hand to touch the headstone. "How could you do this to me, Bryce… going and flying being a hero, and leaving like this, even not giving me a chance to apologize for hating you all this time…. You're so full of yourself…! Going behind my back and trying to protect me without my consent… I am not happy at all! I… really…really hate you, you know that?"

Yet Neal saw the massive pain in his eyes, the tears…. He was hurt… deeply because Bryce left just like that. And from his speech, Neal finally knew who this person was.

He was Chuck… Bryce's special person.

That moronic big brother…! It's so clear he loves you…!—Neal closed his eyes painfully.

"Ha, I am being stupid again, talking to a dead man," Chuck chuckled and dried his tears. He looked really in pain when he turned his back, but not before he looked up and saw Neal on the forest area.

Shit…!

Neal lowered his hat and turned around, planning to leave smoothly and quietly. Except, that guy already ran towards his direction. Uh-oh! Neal also increased his walk, but not running because it would be too suspicious. He only needed to get some distance.

"Bryce!" Chuck called, no, he shouted. "Bryce! Wait! Please wait!" And he was persistent as hell despite Neal's effort to lose him. He was quicker than Neal thought! "Please, please…! I don't know if you're a ghost or if I have fallen asleep somewhere and dreamed, or if I only hallucinate because of the mental breakdown, but please just wait! Hear me out, please…!"

The guy was almost crying again and Neal was weak to that kind of expression. He slowed down before stopping. Chuck was also slowing down before he stopped as well, few feet from Neal's spot. Neal didn't turn to Chuck's direction though, only feeling his presence behind him.

"Bryce…?" Chuck called him again.

Really, Neal didn't even want to impersonate Bryce. But he wanted to hear what Chuck wanted to say to Bryce. He wanted to know how deep this guy loved his brother. So he nodded in silence, still not looking at Chuck though.

"I am sorry…," Chuck said slowly, in soft voice. "I didn't know until today that your action back then… you did it to protect me…. But I am still mad, you know. Why wouldn't you trust me a little? I wasn't some helpless kid who couldn't defend himself. I didn't have to be a field agent to work in CIA. I can always be a computer guy who helped behind a desk or something…, and then we could actually be partners…."

Well… that makes sense…—Neal actually found himself agreeing Chuck. His brother was a moron when it came to something he really loved. Chuck had a point there… even though Neal didn't really knew how CIA worked.

"But you… you just couldn't trust me could you? Despite being best friend… or if we could be even called that…," Chuck chuckled bitterly and Neal had to snap his head up hearing that doubtful, misguided belief. "You just couldn't trust your secret with me. I guess I was the only one who thought that we were…!"

Neal whirled around to face Chuck's face directly, and there was only one line he wanted Chuck to hear. "Don't you dare… question my feelings towards you."

Chuck widened his eyes as he saw Neal… Bryce's earnest expression. "Bryce…?"

"You should know… how important you are for me… and that's the truth." Neal spoke slowly, intensely, because he was sure that Bryce would say the same thing if he was really in his position now.

"Important…?" Chuck looked slightly stunned for a moment before something seemed clicking on his head and his expression melted into a very-very innocent happy touched smile, and now was Neal's turn to widen his eyes in stunned expression.

Now he slightly understood why Bryce loved this guy very much, why he treasured his innocence and his life more than Bryce's himself, until he agreed to sacrifice his own feeling. It was his smile… it was so warm, so… bright, full of love and life, a smile that could lit even the darkest place. Neal was positive that Chuck's smile could even melt the coldest ice brigs.

It was beautiful. And everyone knew how Neal felt about beautiful thing. He had no resistance to beautiful one. He had to touch and worship it, so he reached out and stroked Chuck's cheek.

Chuck looked officially startled. "Is… is imagination supposed to be this warm and so real?" Chuck was rather perplexed at the sudden event.

Neal smiled small before he used his other hand to gently grasped Chuck's shoulder before pulling him down to embrace him. "It's just a dream…," Neal whispered near Chuck's ear softly, making the taller man blush and shiver slightly, probably because of the close proximity and the feel of Neal's warm breath.

"A… a dream…?" Chuck sounded very unsure, very awkward.

"A dream, Chuck… a very real dream… because I want to see you for the last time…," Neal spoke again with that gentle voice he remembered Bryce always used when he was speaking to Neal.

"Oh God…! No…! Please don't go…!" Chuck hugged Neal back tightly, as if he would disappear if he loosened it. Well, Neal was supposed to do that, disappearing like a ghost so Chuck would believe that he was, indeed, dreaming.

"I am sorry… for everything I've done… lying and hurting you…," Neal took something from his sleeve. A small tube of spray… loaded with sedative. Well, he usually never used that, but it was an emergency situation. He had to make Chuck asleep. It wasn't like he would hit Chuck's head for that, right? So the sedative, it was. Safer and… Chuck wouldn't even feel it. He just had to breathe in it.

"And I am sorry, I have to leave this way…," Neal sprayed the sedative quietly, not alerting Chuck at all.

"Don't say that…! Please… just stay…!" Chuck tightened his hug and Neal could feel how Bryce was loved by this person, this… wonderful person.

"Believe me… I wish I could…," Neal pulled back slightly to look at Chuck's warm glassy brown eyes. "Chuck… I…," he had to stop there because he couldn't let Bryce real love confession to Chuck be spoken from his mouth. It was Bryce's… and not Neal's. Only Bryce had that privilege over his own feeling.

And Neal knew that the sedative was kicking in because Chuck's eyes began to droop. "Bryce… my eyes are blurry…," Chuck said, gripping Bryce's black suit tightly on his waist and shoulder. "Bryce…!" He called his name desperately, trying his hardest to hang on the last thread of his consciousness, not wanting to close his eyes because he probably realized that it was the time he would wake up and lose Bryce for good.

"Chuck… you are so precious… the most precious person in my life…," Neal held Chuck's shoulders and slowly brought Chuck's body to the grassy ground as he could feel Chuck began to lose his strength; slowly… slowly, until they were sitting on the ground, Chuck's body leaning on Neal weakly.

"Bryce… I… to you…," slowly as well, Chuck's consciousness was fading until he lost it completely.

Neal smiled small with sad expression. "I also wish… he knew that…," he stroked Chuck's hair lightly, gently, before he laid Chuck on the ground, as comfortable as possible. Neal stared at Chuck's tired, tears-strike sleeping face. He dried the tear lines on Chuck's cheeks before landing a soft kiss on Chuck's forehead.

"Sleep well, Chuck… May you find your happiness in this world…." Neal stood up, slowly cleaning some grasses and dirt from his expensive suit before he walked away, leaving Chuck on his peaceful sedated slumber. He would wake up an hour later if Neal's measurement of the dose was right.

By that time, Neal would have long gone from Burbank, probably back to Pittsburgh. He had some works to do.

—ChuckBartowskiXBryceLarkin—

"Chuck?"

Chuck moaned slightly as he felt someone poke at his cheek. He tried to open his eyes, but he was so comfortable he wanted to sleep for awhile longer. "Five minutes more…," he whines, not even opening his eyes.

"Wake up, Bartwoski."

That, made Chuck open his eyes without delay. The gruff slightly annoyed voice belonged only to one person, a person he didn't want to irritate most. "Uh… huh? Casey?" Chuck opened his bleary eyes and tried to sit. He was absolutely dumbfounded when he saw where he was. "Err… why am I laying on the grass?" He was totally confused.

"That's what I want to ask," Casey said with flat look. "What are you doing sleeping on the cemetery ground?"

"Um…, a… a cemetery ground?" Chuck was mortified for a moment, and tried to think what had happened to him, and then… he remembered.

"It's just a dream… because I want to see you for the last time…"

Chuck remembered Bryce speaking like that. Well, that explained why Bryce was so… so soft and kind and… there was something different about Bryce that came up in his dream. But… it was still Bryce, a Bryce in Chuck's mind and fantasy.

Chuck blushed at that and had to cover his face so Casey wouldn't see it. He was kind of embarrassed. He had just realized how he felt about Bryce all this time. Now he knew why it hurt so much when Bryce betrayed (not exactly) him, why it pained him to know that Bryce had to sacrifice his feeling to save Chuck.

Chuck loved Bryce… as more than a friend. He realized it because of that dream. He was happy when Bryce said he should not doubt Bryce's feeling for him, how important he was for Bryce… and now he wouldn't see Bryce again…!

"Bartowski!" Casey barked at the silent hiding young man, slightly startling him.

"Sorry, Casey… I am still mourning. Please leave me for a moment," Chuck's voice was trembling, and he was sure he was about to cry again.

"No can do. It's dangerous for you to be left alone. God knows you're trouble magnet," Casey sniped curtly, but Chuck could detect a slight worry on his heavy growl.

Chuck had to smile for that, still hiding his face though. "Thanks, Casey…," he said slowly.

"Huh, what for?" Casey sounded genuinely confused at the sudden express of gratitude.

"For being here, watching my back… and protecting me," Chuck replied. Well, at least he could show his gratitude for people who were protecting him and was still alive now….

Surprisingly, Casey didn't say anything more as they settled in slightly comfortable silence.

—ChuckBartowskiXNealCaffrey—

On the plane, Neal looked out of the window. "Bryce was still alive," Neal mumbled slightly while watching the tinier towns and then the states. "If Bryce really died… I would have felt dying too… but since I didn't feel that… and I could still feel Bryce consciousness… somewhere… he must have been still alive…."

People could call it a denial, but Neal believed that from the bottom of his heart. Bryce was still alive, and one day… without fail… he would showed up again in front of Neal. As long as Neal believed that… no one would question Bryce's existence in this world.

Just you wait for it…!

The End of A Guest from A Funeral

A/N: Well, what do you think? I guess there was an inaccurate timeline. I assumed in this case, Chuck was 25. That would make Neal 25 as well, huh? And Neal was supposed to be chased after by Peter from age 27, right? So to fit the timeline, I have to change the age for a bit. I'll make Bryce and Neal older by two years from Chuck (if that's okay). Meh, nobody actually paid attention to that, right? Just ignore my babblings. For the next installment, I thought I'll make Neal get mixed up with Bryce by Fulcrum after Bryce ran away from them. Hm… that would be challenging. Okay, see you for the next time XDD.