Everybody In Stark Tower Is …
"Sir, I might suggest you get off on a different floor." Jarvis sounds slightly unnerved when Tony tells him which floor he wants to go to.
"Why? What have they done now?" Tony heaves an exasperated sigh. For the most part he actually enjoys the entire Avengers team living at the tower, but there have been a number of incidents that make his blood pressure sky rocket when Jarvis tries to steer him away from an area.
"Nothing like that, sir." Jarvis assures him.
"Then just let me off. I'll take my chances." He waves a hand, dismissing the AI's attempt to argue again. When the doors open, his mouth drops. For a split second he worries that the Winter Soldier has returned as he sees Cap pinned to the wall between Bucky's arms. Then his brain registers what he's really seeing.
Bucky is sucking Steve's earlobe, tugging it. Tony doesn't miss Cap's moan and the way his knuckles are turning white where his hands grip Bucky's hips.
"Come on Stevie. Everybody fucks. Nobody here is going to care." Bucky speaks, oblivious to their audience and Tony feels a bit guilty, but not really. These two have been dancing around this shit since Bucky showed up at the tower. Tony watches as Cap turns a brighter shade of red, even as he moans again when Bucky's mouth drifts to his neck.
Deciding he can't hide in the elevator forever, and there's no time like the present to give these two a nudge, Tony strolls in the room. "He's right. Just in case you were wondering. I'd offer to demonstrate, but Bruce threatened me with the other guy if I interrupt him for sex before he's done with whatever it is he's working on in the lab."
Steve's eyes fly open, and Tony imagines he would run for the nearest exit but Bucky still has him trapped. Tony doesn't miss the devilish grin on Bucky's face.
"What are we demonstrating?" Natasha strolls out of the elevator. Taking in the scene in front of her, she casually passes by winking at Cap on the way to grab a bottle of water from the fridge.
"Sergeant Barnes was just trying to explain to our little Capsicle that everybody does indeed fuck, so none of our delicate sensibilities will be offended should they decide to do something about the ridiculous amount of sexual tension in the room." Tony smirked as Steve turned an even darker shade of red, dropping his head to the crook of Bucky's neck in an effort to hide.
"I can see if Clint's free. He never minds an audience." Natasha smiles sweetly, trying not to laugh at how embarrassed Cap is from the conversation.
"Did I hear my name?" Clint drops from the ceiling inches from Black Widow, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her back against him.
"You did." She leans into him, angling her head so she can see his face.
"What's the mission."
"There is no mission!" Steve's head jerks up from Bucky's shoulder. "There will be no demonstration. I can't even believe we're having this conversation."
"Wow. Cap's awfully red. What did you three do to the poor guy?" Clint looks from Steve to Bucky to Tony, expecting one of the latter to enlighten him.
"We were just …"
"Stark! No!" Steve barked in his best Captain America giving orders voice.
"Perhaps we should take this to your room and finish this conversation in private." Bucky reached up, tugging Steve's chin so he was looking back at him. "I'm quite certain I can handle any demonstrations required to get the point across."
"You're no fun." Tony pouts as he watches Bucky pulling Steve out of the room. Cap's face and neck are still crimson, and he looks like he's in some alternate universe, but he follows without saying a word. Giving up on that source of entertainment, he turns back to Natasha and Clint. "I'm game if you still want an audience." He waggles his brows at the pair.
"What just happened?" Clint is still confused having missed the first part of the conversation.
"It appears there's a high probability that our innocent little Capsicle will be considerably less innocent when they re-emerge." Tony snickers as Clint's brows shoot up. "I believe Bucky's words were something along the lines of "everybody fucks.""
"Damn." The archer stands thinking for a few seconds before leaning down closer to Natasha's ear. "Wanna go back to our room?"
She doesn't bother nodding, just grabs his hand and pulls him toward the elevator.
Standing in the room alone, Tony sighs, "Jarvis."
"Yes, sir." The AI answers immediately.
"Is Bruce still working?"
"Yes, sir."
Venturing to the bar, he pours himself some scotch. "Damn. Guess I might as well go build something since I'm the only one not getting laid."