Jen pulls her overnight bag from the back of her jeep and closes the door. She walks round to the driver's side and locks the car before turning towards the house. She looks up at the clear, dark sky as her breath forms wispy clouds in the cool, November air. She notes with a frown that the house is in darkness. Unusual for Diane to be out on a Saturday evening. She checks her watch. 5.15pm. Still early then. Maybe Diane is out shopping. She lets herself in and drops her bags on the floor, then turns on the light. She is puzzled again at the sight of Diane's normally clinically clean kitchen in disarray. There are pots and pans full of half-cooked food scattered about on the hob and kitchen counters. "Diane?" calls Jen. She walks towards the stairs and louder now, "Diane?".
There is no response, so Jen shrugs and walks back to the kitchen. It's only then that she spies the note on the kitchen table.
There's been an accident... gone to the hospital. Sorry about the mess. D
"Oh god" says Jen out loud. She looks around her assuming that the accident has happened here, such is the chaos. She is indecisive but only for a moment. Her and Diane have become close. She picks up her handbag and heads back to the car.
She arrives at the hospital and is overwhelmed by the sheer number of people in the casualty waiting room, many of whom seem traumatized. There is a queue at the reception desk and she looks around, uncertain. She pulls her mobile out of her bag and pauses briefly before trying Diane's number. She is surprised when Diane picks up almost immediately.
"Hello?"
"Diane? It's Jen, are you OK?"
"Me? Yes, I'm fine. I'm with Sinead."
"Sinead?"
"Yeah, there's been a terrible accident..."
"Diane.. I'm here at the hospital... there's so many people.."
"You're here? Hold on then, I'll come get you. Are you in the waiting room?"
"Yes."
"Stay there." says Diane.
Jen puts her phone away and only has to wait a few seconds before she spies Diane walking through a set of double doors to the right hand side of the reception desk. Diane beckons to her and Jen approaches.
"What's happened?" asks Jen. "Is Sinead OK?"
"She's pregnant!" says Diane through gritted teeth.
"Huh?" says Jen, really confused now.
"Oh, sorry love. Sinead was in an accident. The kids... the stupid lot of them... took it into their heads to steal a minibus and they somehow managed to crash it into a whole wedding full of people." Diane scrapes her fingers through her hair.
"But... what? And Sinead?" asks Jen absorbing the information slowly.
"She's fine.. a few cuts and bruises is all... but we just found out she's pregnant and I'm spitting mad. I know I shouldn't focus on that... you know people have died... but..."
"Died?" asks Jen in shock now.
"Oh god, listen to me... I'm making a right mess of this... and these are your students too... sorry love. Jono pulled most of them out of the van seconds before it exploded but he couldn't get Neil out in time. Maddie got out but the explosion blew the van door off which landed on her. Sinead saw it happen... sounds like a horror film...She'll be having nightmares for months poor kid..." Jen lets the information sink in and before she can stop herself she says.
"Tilly? Is Tilly OK?". Diane frowns suspiciously at Jen and rolls her eyes. But then her expression turns to puzzlement.
"Sinead didn't mention Tilly."
Jen's mind is reeling and her heart is racing. What if Tilly was in the crash? Was she dead/hurt? They haven't spoken in months and when they had spoken they had both said cruel things to each other...but the thought of never seeing her again is too much. She is distracted suddenly by the sight of George coming through the same set of double doors through which Diane had appeared. They both turn to him. His suit is dishevelled and there are blood stains on it. A cut on his head has been sewn up and neatly dressed. He is leaning on Callum.
"George!" say Diane and Jen in unison.
"Hello." says George, weakly.
"Are you alright love?" asks Diane kindly.
George doesn't answer and looks like he is holding back tears. Callum steps in. "He's OK. Just a nasty cut and a bit of shock. They said I could take him home."
Jen can't help herself. She needs to know.
"George... is Tilly OK?"
The three of them turn to look at her in surprise.
"Tilly?" says George. "Tilly wasn't even there..." says George in puzzlement. "Maddie and Neil are dead!" he tells Jen crossly.
"Come on George, let's get you home... " says Callum in soothing tones. He puts his arm around his friend and steers him towards the exit.
"I'm sorry George." says Jen meekly to his back as the two boys walk away. She avoids making eye contact with Diane. But her inward relief is palpable.
"Listen, I'd better get back to Sinead... she's pretty upset too." says Diane wearily.
"Can I do anything?" asks Jen sincerely.
Diane looks appeased. "No, I don't think so love. I don't suppose we'll be too long. I'll see you back at home OK?"
"Yeah, see you there. I'm glad she's OK" says Jen squeezing Diane's arm reassuringly. Diane nods and turns back to the double doors, but then turns back at the last moment.
"You won't tell anyone?... About the pregnancy I mean..." says Diane, lowering her voice for the second part of her question.
"Of course not!" says Jen. Diane nods again and leaves.
Jen turns back to the waiting room and takes in the scene again, this time enlightened by the new information. She notes that many of the people are dressed up... as if for a wedding. 'Good grief' she thinks. 'So many people...is this all from the same accident?' she wonders. She recognizes some of the people from the village, many are crying, clearly in shock. She feels useless and is on the brink of leaving when she spots a lonely figure sat in the very corner of the room. The girl is wearing a fleecey cardigan with the hood pulled up around her head so it's hard to tell but could it be...? It is, it's Tilly. She is given away by a lock of her amber hair which has escaped the hood and fallen onto her face which is, at that moment, pointed determinedly down at the highly-polished hospital floor.
Jen takes two steps towards Tilly but then stops. Tilly's only spoken a few words to her in months and none of them have been kind. She bites her lip, not sure what to do. Tilly must have sensed her because she looks up and stares directly into Jen's eyes. Tilly has clearly been crying and Jen's heart melts as she sees the vulnerability there. She approaches and sits down beside Tilly and rests her hand on Tilly's back.
"Tilly.. I'm so sorry." Jen says.
Tilly throws herself into Jen's arms and muffles her sobs into Jen's neck and shoulder. Jen can feel the warm moisture of Tilly's breath and tears against her skin and holds onto her with her right arm whilst stroking Tilly's back with her left. Tilly's sobs subside slightly and she pulls back a bit and looks up at Jen.
Jen smiles gently at her and rubs her arm. "What happened? George said you weren't there?"
"I wasn't... I got into a row with Maddie... the last words I spoke to her... I was so mad...and now she's dead!" Tilly dissolves into tears again and puts her head into her hands.
"Shhhh, it's OK. It's just.. they were just words..." soothes Jen.
"No!" says Tilly looking angry now. "They weren't just words... I meant it... she's been a right... bitch.. to Esther and... I don't know... but now... now she's dead and, and ...Neil... Neil never hurt anyone..." she is incoherent again and Jen pulls her into a hug making soothing sounds as Tilly cries out her anguish. Forgetting ehere they are, she pulls down Tilly's hood and kisses the top of her head.
Tilly feels it and pulls back looking into Jen's eyes with surprise.
"Sorry..." says Jen, confused.
"No... I'm glad you're here. I'm sorry... I-I was so awful to you at school... I just.. I didn't know what to do with myself and I hated you for just switching us off like that... like I meant nothing to you..." Tilly looks down at the floor.
"Tilly... it wasn't like that... " started Jen... but then she notices that Tilly is shivering and very, very pale. "Tilly... are you OK? You look like you're going to pass out..."
"I don't know." Admits Tilly. "I didn't eat anything... I was too upset and now..." Tilly puts her hands up indicating the chaos that is the waiting room around them. It reminds Jen that they are in quite a public place. She wonders briefly if anyone has seen them together, but she shrugs it off.
"Who are you here with?" she asks Tilly.
Tilly looks surprised by the question. "No-one... I just came when I heard the news. I saw Esther... but I don't know where she is now."
"Look. I'll take you home. OK?"
"There's no-one there..." shrugs Tilly.
"Alright then...Diane's going to be here for a bit with Sinead. Why don't I take you back to ours and get you something to eat?"
"I dunno... I feel like I should stay here..."
"Well... I saw George"
Tilly looks up. "George?"
"Yes but he's gone home now... so I'm not sure you can do anything here and if you don't eat something, they'll be admitting you before too long!" says Jen firmly. "Come on." She stands up and holds out her hand to Tilly. Tilly nods and takes Jen's hand in hers allowing Jen to pull her up. Jen overdoes it a bit and Tilly ends up stood very close. Both become aware of the intimacy and are suddenly awkward.
Jen moves first and Tilly follows her out to her car. The ride to Jen's house is quiet. Both women overwhelmed by the sudden change in their relationship and Tilly still in shock. When they arrive, the house is still in darkness. Tilly shivers and Jen rubs her arms in an attempt to warm her.
"Here... sit down... I'll turn the heating up." Tilly sits at the kitchen table and watches as Jen flicks on the heating and walks around the room turning on lights and straightening the cushions on the sofa. She smiles at Tilly and makes her way back to the kitchen. She puts the kettle on first. "Right... let's have some nice hot tea. And..." She pulls some lids off a few of the pans... "Hmm...I think it's spaghetti bolognese... let me see if I can revive this..." She lights the hob and gives the sauce a stir, then tests the pasta with her fingers. "Hmm. Think we'll chuck that... there's some fresh bread though..." Tilly smiles a weak, but encouraging smile. Jen pours hot water into a mug and squishes the teabag with a spoon. She piles in 3 heaped teaspoons of sugar frowning as Tilly objects mildly. "Sugar for the shock...drink!" she insists pushing the mug into Tilly's hands.
Tilly does as she is told, grimacing at the overly sweetened taste. She starts to feel warmer though and the smell of the food warming makes her mouth water and her stomach growl. Jen tastes the meat sauce and is unimpressed. "Hmm... shall I add a bit of chilli?" she looks to Tilly who nods approvingly. Jen adds some more ingredients to the sauce until she is satisfied with the taste. She pours two smallish portions into bowls, tears off two chunks of bread from a baguette and brings the meal to the kitchen table. She grabs the cutlery and extracts a bottle of red wine from the cupboard. "Would you like a glass of this?" she offers. "I'm having one."
"Yeah, thanks." says Tilly.
Jen pours the wine and then joins Tilly at the table. Tilly is famished and takes a large bite of the bread whilst she waits for the sauce to cool a little. Jen takes a sip of wine and watches Tilly as she gently blows on a spoonful of hot sauce. Jen, not for the first time, admires Tilly's full lips and suddenly remembers kissing those same lips. Tilly notices and raises an eyebrow. "Sorry..." says Jen flushing slightly. "I was miles away." Jen feels awkward now and the conversation halts as they both consume the dish. Tilly wipes the last of the sauce from her bowl with a chunk of bread and sighs.
"That was yum!" she enthuses.
Jen is pleased. "Do you want some more?" she asks.
"No thanks, I'm full." Tilly replies politely.
With the food out of the way, the two women are suddenly shy with each other. Tilly wonders how they came to be here like this after having been so close and then so very distant. Her mind turns back to the events of the day and her eyes start to water again. She feels exhausted and looks at Jen, not sure what to do now. Jen is similarly lost for words but makes an effort... hoping to avert the tears that threaten at the rim of Tilly's eyes.
"Listen...Tilly... about what you said at the hospital..."
"Please Jen... not today... I can't face it." Tilly feels bad as Jen looks taken aback. "Jen... I'm so tired..."
"I'm sorry. Of course you are. I'll take you home."
"I don't want to go home." says Tilly. Jen looks at her puzzled.
"You mean..."
"I want to sleep... here... with you.. in your bed... please Jen... I'll sneak out in the morning, Diane won't know I've been here. Please..." Tilly looks beseechingly at Jen.
Jen is torn. She wants desperately to respond to Tilly's manifest vulnerability but then all her old fears come flooding back... she's the teacher.. Tilly's her pupil...what if they get found out? ... and what's more ... she'd be mad to rekindle one of the most complex relationship she has ever had...plus Tilly's threats to expose her...
Her pause is too much for Tilly. Her tears are silent this time and she makes to get up from the table but Jen grabs her arm and pulls her back down.
"Wait...yes... you can stay... we can... we can just sleep." Jen reaches out and brushes the tears away from Tilly's cheek and then leans in and kisses her forehead. "But tomorrow... if you're feeling better... maybe we can talk then?"
Tilly nods and allows Jen to lead her by the hand up to her room.