Reminiscant, by SHA
Disclaimer…not owned by moi.
Spoiler-As you were…
Goodbye, William. I bid thee farewell. May the sands of time heal your soul, my darling, may the wounds that I inflicted heal well. With every beat of your heart, remember that I loved you, my precious. So tragic it is that we must meet our fates separately, but this is how it shall be. For always, William, remember that I love you.
Goodbye William. I'd heard those words before, and even without my heart and soul, this time it hurt me so much more. Goodbye William, I bid thee farewell. Different accent, but the words mean the same, only this time I have no soul to heal, and no heart to beat her remembrance. If this is the case, then why do I feel as though I've been ripped apart? I was human back then, when I heard them the first time around. I was human, so I had an excuse to grieve. What's my excuse this time? What reasons do I have for feeling so completely alone? Does this God Damned chip in my head send signals to the places that SHOULD be hurting, or the places that WOULD feel pain, if I were alive again? Who am I kidding? I had never felt so alive in all of my life. Thanks to her.
She made me live again. Ironic, that she brought me to life, when all the while I was killing her. I was killing HER. She's the slayer, yet it's a vampire who metaphorically slays her. I didn't mean that. It just happened. I never meant to hurt her. Honest. I never wanted to see her cry, and I stopped that for awhile. Funny how pain stopped her tears, how laughter only brought her pain to life again. She's an irony, the Slayer, but she was MY irony. My slayer. My…precious.
"Do you trust me?" I asked. "Never." So why was she running around after her former love-dove, screaming my innocence when I was guilty as the Hell I reside in? Did she have Faith in me? Did she trust me? Did she put the William before the Spike? I was never William. Bloody William, the stupid idiot. Bloody William…William the Bloody Fool. He ruined everything, yet again. I wish I could kill him, but he's already dead. She should've known that, but she forgot. How could she forget the demon, when all the while it was staring her in the face? How could she see the human when he died over a century ago? It's beyond me. She is beyond me. She always was. Can I go back to hating her, now?
Damned vampiric senses. I can still smell her. I will be able to smell her for months. I could wash the damned Crypt from top to tail, and she'd still linger. She's strong, like that. Strong in every way. She gets into every nook and cranny of this old Hell-hole, and I think her ghost will remain here with me, teasing me and taunting me, for the rest of my life; my death. I wish she'd just chopped my bloody head off, because she's already took what was left of me. I'm nothing, now.
Nothing but a soul-less sodding bastard who can't stop wanting to be more.