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that's just the way things are
she's 18 and a beauty queen
she makes the boys feel so weak
it's all for her, not at all
she'll pick up just to watch you fall
-"Girls Do What They Want," The Maine
Her skirts are always just a little bit too short, and her top button is neverever buttoned, and there's this look in her eyes and this curve in her smile that has boys falling at her feet.
James fancies himself above it. He's more into red hair-green eyes-lectures falling from perfect lips.
But okay, he's not blind. And so when Sirius is ranting about Naricssa-this and Narcissa-that, he nods and smiles and looks over at the Slytherin table, where she's sitting with those eyes and that smile. And he thinks maybe she's not all that bad.
x.x
She's practically engaged, to one of the biggest pricks in their year (aside from Snivillous, of course).
"Lucius doesn't deserve to have an almost-wife," James mutters as he watches as Lucius grips her arm just a little too tightly and steers her away from the boy she was talking with.
Sirius frowns at him. "But it's Narcissa. It's not like she deserves any better."
James gives a noncommittal shrug and he looks up just as Narcissa and Lucius are passing their table. Lucius keeps his nose in the air but Narcissa looks past Sirius, her mouth curved into a tiny smirk, and into James' eyes.
And okay, maybe he's not so immune.
x.x
He's shoveling porridge in his mouth one morning, already five minutes late to his first class, when a shadow falls over him. She's standing above him, watching him thoughtfully. He gapes at her, his mouth full of porridge, and she smiles.
"You have the last plate of sausages," she says, nodding towards the plate in front of him. "And I woke up this morning with a real hankering for some meat. Do you mind terribly?"
James thinks hazily that this might be the first time she's ever spoken to him, as he blushes and shoves the plate of sausages towards her. "Help yourself."
Narcissa picks up the plate, selecting a large sausage and taking a dainty bite of it, her eyes latching onto James'. "Delicious," she murmurs throatily. "Thank you, James."
She turns around and sashays away, leaving James motionless behind her.
x.x
"She wanted your sausage?" Peter asks incredulously. "Dirty!"
"Maybe she didn't mean it that way," James says fairly, but he exchanges a lewd wink and dirty gesture with Sirius.
Remus regards them with a faint air of disapproval. "What about Lily?"
James shrugs. "She hates Narcissa. It would be the perfect way to get her jealous. And when she realizes she cares about me…"
"You'll drop Narcissa and get in Lily's robes," Sirius says, smirking wickedly. "I love it."
Remus rolls his eyes, but James grins. "Exactly."
x.x
Drunken students swarm the party, and James pushes through them until he sees Narcissa, sparkling in her silver dress (with a slit up to there, not that James was staring).
"Narcissa," he yells above the pulsing music, and she spins around to look at him, her gray eyes bright.
"Potter," she responds, and gracefully untangles herself from the sulky Slytherin she was dancing with. "Where's your redhead?"
"She's not my redhead," James shouts. "Where's Lucius?"
She shrugs prettily, tilting her head. "No idea. Aren't you going to ask me to dance?"
James thinks he's too drunk for this, or maybe not enough, but he extends his arm and cracks a grin. "Dance with me?"
And Narcissa falls into his arms, like it's natural, like she belongs there.
x.x
By the end of the second song, James has spotted Lily. She's standing there watching, a look of annoyed confusion across her face and James almost feels bad. And then he sees Lucius staring, and his almost-guilt quickly turns to fear. "Lucius is staring," he tells Narcissa quietly.
She casually glances over at him and then smiles, turning back to James. Her eyes are dancing, sucking James in so completely that he feels a little nauseous. "Is he?" she asks, seemingly unconcerned, and snakes her thin arms around James' neck. "Oh well," she whispers, and pulls him towards her until they're stumbling into a sloppy kiss, and James no longer cares about Lily or Lucius or anything but the feel of his lips against hers.
x.x
He wakes up the next morning, with Narcissa peering over him. "Shit," he says, sitting up groggily and wincing. "Where are we?" Narcissa doesn't say anything, just regards him coolly as he examines his surroundings. "The broom closet," he says, memories of last night beginning to flash before him. He almost swears again, but the sight of Narcissa stops him. He attempts a grin. "Well, at least we were classy."
A ghost of a smile flickers over Narcissa's face, as she looks down and tugs at her disheveled dress. And then she looks up and James sees the shininess of her eyes.
"Hey," he says, alarmed. "What's the matter?"
"Just not very classy," Narcissa murmurs, as delicate tears spill over onto her cheeks. "My mother would be so disappointed."
"You've never done this before?" James asks helplessly.
"Taken a practical stranger to the broom closet?" Narcissa asks, her voice suddenly razor-sharp. "I try not to make a practice of it."
"I didn't mean it that way," James mutters. "I'm sorry, I have no experience with this kind of situation." He waves his arm around miserably and Narcissa laughs a little, wiping her tears.
"You're not a bad guy, Potter," she murmurs.
James pretends to wince. "Back on a last-name basis?"
Narcissa shrugs, almost apologetically. "We would never work. You have your redhead and I have Lucius."
James leans forward and grabs her tiny hand. "I'm not saying we need to be in love and have babies. But we could have fun, couldn't we?"
Narcissa eyes him thoughtfully. "Why are you saying this?"
"So I don't feel like a cad for leaving you the next morning," James admits and smiles. "And it would be fun."
"And it would make Lily jealous," Narcissa says knowingly. "And remind Lucius that he does not control me."
Narcissa and James exchange a wicked glance and James picks up the half empty bottle of champagne lying abandoned on the floor. "To the start of a beautiful friendship," James says, taking a swig from the bottle.
Narcissa smiles and grabs the bottle from him, her eyes bright as she takes a sip.
x.x
That evening, Narcissa casually drops into the empty seat next to James in the Great Hall. "Hi James," she says cheerily. "Hello Sirius." She tosses a brilliant smile at her cousin, who's gaping rather unattractively.
"What is she doing here?" Sirius demands rudely.
James grins. "She's my friend, Pads."
"Friend? Are you out of your mind?" Sirius hisses. "She's a Black. A bad one!"
Narcissa giggles. "Oh Sirius, I'm not Bellatrix. Don't be so stereotypical!"
"Yeah, Sirius," James says, smiling as Narcissa drops a kiss on his cheek. "And close your mouth, you look like a prat."
"Lily is staring," Peter hisses loudly.
"Just looking at what a fool you're making of yourself," Lily interjects cheerfully from across the table. "Narcissa Black? Honestly, Potter, I thought even you could do better."
Narcissa's eyes are flashing as she drapes an arm around James' neck. "Sounds like sour grapes, Evans. You can't seriously expect James to keep wanting you. You're not that much of a catch, you know."
Lily purses her lips irritably. "And you are? Aren't you engaged or something?"
Narcissa extends her bare hand. "Obviously not," she drawls. "I'm free to do whatever- and whoever- I want." She smirks wickedly and James can only smile weakly in response to the daggers Lily and Sirius are currently staring at him.
"Well, it's a good thing you're not engaged," Lily says, a smug smile spreading over her face as she stares off into the distance. "Because he certainly does not look happy."
James looks over and sees a furious Lucius approaching. He makes a small sound and Narcissa gracefully jumps up. "Don't trouble yourself, Evans. James, I'll talk to you later." She waves blithely and falls into step beside Lucius, taking his arm and smiling adoringly at him.
"He looks pissed," Peter says worriedly. "At both of you."
"Narcissa has it under control," James says warily, watching as she chatters animatedly to Lucius, leading him away.
x.x
That night, James finds Narcissa by the lake, her hair bright under the light of the moon.
"Everything okay with Lucius?" he asks gently.
"Fine," Narcissa answers, looking at him as if she doesn't even know him, and James recognizes the ice queen Sirius has complained so much about.
"Everything okay with you?"
Narcissa's eyes focus and she smiles. "Yes, fine. James…"
"Yeah?" James asks, slightly confused, and then she's kissing him, hungrily and desperately and like her world might collapse at any moment. "Narcissa," he murmurs, wanting to protest, say this isn't supposed to happen.
She pulls back slightly, and looks so fragile in that moment that James can't bear to think of hurting her. "Please," she whispers, and James doesn't hesitate before pulling her back to him.
His sober mind whirls as she kisses him, harder and faster, and as her shirt falls to the ground and his along with it. And he knows he shouldn't be doing this, that there are important reasons like Lily and Lucius and Lily why he shouldn't be doing this, but it's Narcissa Black and she looks so vulnerable and she needs this and James has always had a bit of a hero complex.
x.x
After, she cries and James holds her. She's a mess for about five minutes and then she sits up, pulling on her shirt. "I'm sorry," she says stiffly, drying her eyes. "I don't know what's the matter with me. You must think I'm insane."
"Narcissa, tell me what's wrong," James says gently.
She shakes her head, and James can sense her embarrassment. "It's nothing. Lucius was mad tonight, and I just needed someone to hold me. Silly."
"Did he hurt you?" James asks urgently, protectively taking her delicate hand.
"No," she tells him firmly, removing her hand from his grasp and standing up, morphing before his eyes into a typical pureblood princess. "Thank you, James. I trust this will remain discrete?"
"I won't tell anyone," James swears, gazing up at her. "Promise."
"I know you won't," Narcissa says sadly, and then she's gone and James has to fight an inexplicable urge to chase her down.
x.x
The next day, she strides through the hall in her too-high shoes and her too-short skirt, smirking slightly. And when she passes James in the hall, she ignores him and he always knew it would turn out like this, that any dreams of friendship would have gone up in smoke eventually.
"Where's Narcissa?" Lily asks at lunch, her green eyes bright with distaste.
James shrugs and gives her a charming grin. "She couldn't compare with you, Lil."
And Lily rolls her eyes but smiles, and Sirius sighs in relief, and James works on forgetting that beautiful vulnerable tough girl with the guarded gray eyes and the seductive smile and the feeling that she could tell you all the secrets in the universe.