Learning to Dance in the Rain
Will Horton sat on a rock looking out at the lake, trying to stem the tears running down his face. His chest felt like a boulder was resting on it, cutting off his air supply. He couldn't remember a time before this when he felt so low; but then he as remembered when he and Sonny broke up after the truth about Will being Ari's father came out. It took time, but they were able to mend their relationship and find their way back together then. He didn't know if the same could be said for now.
He was pulled from his thoughts by the feeling of his phone buzzing in his pocket, but he couldn't muster the effort to answer his phone or see who it was. He couldn't talk to anyone, didn't have the energy to mask the pain in his voice, and he wasn't ready to say anything. After what had happened, he didn't think he ever wanted to see another person again. However, he quickly remembered there were two people that were the exception. Normally, there were three, but at the moment, there were two. His beautiful daughter, Arianna Grace, was the light of his life. He would do just about anything for her, anything to protect and shield her from all the pain and suffering that the world could bring. He never wanted her to know the pain he felt. Logically, he knew he couldn't realistically protect her from every danger there was out there, but he knew he would do his best. Nothing else mattered, and he knew already of the sacrifices that had been made to protect Ari already.
Gabi, Ari's mom, had already made such a huge sacrifice. She was the one other person that was the exception to his not wanting to see anyone. She was still his best friend, especially now that she had made sure that Nick was not a threat to Ari for the rest of her life. He needed to make up for the past few months that he has not completely been there for Gabi. He felt guilty that he has neglected her and her right to see her daughter. He knew he needed to make it up to her, because he did not know how to repay Gabi for her sacrifice.
His phone beeped again, and he finally decided to check it. When the screen lit up, he saw 10 missed calls, 27 text messages, and 5 new voicemails. He was surprised at the amount, but when he looked at the clock he realized he had been out for over 4 hours, probably sitting at the lake for over 2. He had taken Ari to the baby-sitter this morning when he woke up, not wanting her to be around anything that was going on. She didn't need to be around the negativity in this issue.
Will noticed that most of the missed calls and all the missed texts were from Sonny. After their fight last night, Will needed a little space from Sonny, even though he knew eventually he needed to talk to Sonny. The longer he stayed away, the harder it would be to resolve and get past this. The problem was that every time he thought about talking to Sonny, he thought about the night before and everything that happened. His chest tightened as he remembered what happened the night before.
Sonny had been struggling with his South Side location, and more financial problems kept popping up. No matter what Sonny did or tried, he couldn't seem to get on top of it. Will tried to help, but the two were still having problems communicating and it seemed that all they kept doing was getting into fights about money. Then his parents were having problems, and as turned out, Adrienne had been spending a lot of time with Will's father, Lucas. He had become a confidant for her in her troubles with her marriage, and it looked like Justin and Adrienne were headed for a divorce. Sonny overhead his parents fighting, not long after he saw Lucas and Adrienne talking rather intimately.
In the same day as he heard his parents fighting, he saw Will talking to Chad in the park. Will wanted to try and repair the relationship between Sonny and Chad, since they used to be best friends and Will knew that Sonny missed that. However, Sonny viewed seeing Will talking to Chad as a betrayal, since Chad and Sonny had not been talking. Will tried to explain the situation, but Sonny stormed off. He decided to go to a bar to blow off some steam and decompress.
It was at this same bar that Paul Narita happened to walk into as well, looking for some company. Paul saw Sonny, realized he was upset, and offered to buy Sonny a drink and talk. Sonny at first declined, but then realized that he did need to talk to someone and vent. Soon, one drink turned into two, then five, and by then Sonny as feeling really good. He started to remember why he once loved Paul. Then, Paul coaxed Sonny to come back to his hotel room to continue talking. Once they got there, Paul admitted that he had been missing Sonny and dreaming about being with Sonny again. For the first time in months, Sonny felt that someone was being there for him. The alcohol had lowered his inhabitations, and the next thing he knew they were in bed, kissing and removing their clothes.
It all felt so good to Sonny, and afterwards he decided that he wanted to be with Paul. So he told him that he was going to tell his husband that he wanted a divorce. Paul tried to get Sonny to stay, but Sonny was feeling high and wanted to unload on his husband. Paul insisted that he take a cab home, and Sonny agreed. Will had tried to call his the rest of the afternoon, but Sonny had ignored all his calls. On the ride back, Sonny started to feel guilty about cheating on Will, but he rationalized to himself that Will had not been there for him for a long time, and he was always there for Will. It was finally time that someone was there for him.
When Sonny got home, he was stumbling around, and Will immediately smelled alcohol on his breath. Will tried to talk to him, but Sonny was angry, so he began to unload on Will. When Will asked about where Sonny had been, Sonny raged at Will and revealed that he had slept with someone, his ex-boyfriend who was in town. He revealed how great it felt, and how he finally knew that he made a mistake when he married Will. He spewed vicious words at Will, and he could still remember each blow of pain he felt the next day.
Will was brought back from memory lane by the buzzing of his phone again. He looked down at his phone and saw it was a text message from Sonny. "Please call me back. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean anything I said. I love you." Tears popped up again in Will's eyes. The message sounded so loving, so Sonny, but it conflicted with the image that Will couldn't seem to erase of Sonny, drunk and angry, spewing hateful words towards Will of how much better his life would have been had he not met Will. That while he wished Paul could have come out, maybe Sonny was being selfish and should have stayed with him regardless. Sonny continued by saying that while Paul may lie to the outside world, he never lied to Sonny.
Those words nearly killed Will. He knew that his lies had hurt Sonny in the past, but he had tried to make up for it. But now he realized no matter what he did, he couldn't fully make up for it. Will kept trying to get Sonny to stop talking, knowing that he was drunk and hopefully did not mean what he was saying. But when Sonny said that sleeping with Paul felt so good, Will stopped trying. He let Sonny continue rambling on until he decided to go to bed. Will checked in on Ari, who had thankfully slept through it all, and then laid out on the couch, but never went to sleep. In the morning, he got Ari up and dressed, fed her, checked to make sure that Sonny was still asleep, and then left.
Will tried to think about his Sonny. His Sonny as the Sonny who was so loving and kind, who was willing to shoot Nick so that they could protect Ari. The one he married, who made him feel so loved and protected. He tried to keep that image in his mind, but it kept getting blurred by the images and words from the night before. He just wanted to crawl into a ball and die. He was exhausted, having barely slept the night before and wanting to get out of the apartment as soon as possible.
He knew that Sonny was drunk and reacting to all the pressure her was under. Will has been in that position, and could understand being angry and acting out. He could forgive everything that was said and what had happened. Even Sonny cheating on him with his ex-boyfriend. In the midst of everything, he had figured out that Paul was the same Paul he had been interviewing and was encouraging to come out. He felt so stupid now, realizing he was encouraging Paul to come out so he could get Sonny back. It also brought up the one issue that Will did not know if he could get past. The fact that there was a part of Sonny that still loved Paul and still wanted to be with Paul. Will couldn't be a second choice. He has not acted like it, but Sonny and Ari were first in his life. He needed to know it went both ways with Sonny.