A/N - Kurt's internal evolution.
Kurt had never been ashamed of who he was - girly, tiara-wearing, high pitched, high fashion...not to mention witty, steely and smart. He had his girls...but the boys were always so afraid. And then there was Blaine...
Story takes place mainly shortly after the season finale with references to the Kurt of seasons' past...
"I'm not that confident," Kurt looked shyly at Mercedes standing by his locker. That was almost two years ago, the first time he gave a voice and a label to what he had known about himself since he was five. He had never been ashamed of who he was - girly, tiara-wearing, high pitched, high fashion...not to mention witty, steely and smart. He flaunted it, even reveled in his own admittedly in your face queeniness. He always told himself that he didn't care whom he made uncomfortable. Except that he did care - a lot. But still he would always push, daring them to push him away. Or into a locker.
He always believed that eventually he would find his place. And he did. With the girls. Mercedes, Tina, even annoying but so damn talented Rachel, the inner circle. And now there seemed to even be an outer circle of Brittany, Santana and Quinn. Brittany who had taught him how to kiss, he could now laugh at himself when he
stared down at Blaine lying beneath his half naked body. And even cheerio popular Santana and Quinn rushed to defend him, his right to have a boyfriend, and his (seriously obvious) commitment to him.
But they were the girls. Not the guys. Not the guy. And he really hadn't believed he would ever walk down the hall holding hands or slow dance at his prom until long after he left his backwards little town, found actual, real other gay people, gay guys, that were his own age...and not afraid of him.
Until then he could have his skintight jeans, his sweaters, his bowties, his kilts and all the other colours and layers that made him so fabulous, so out and proud, and so protected. Because the body underneath his outrageous layers, liked boys,.. like-liked boys... but wasn't sure how anyone would want, like really want, the person underneath. The boys were always so afraid. So he kept his layers, and his girls, and his broadway musicals, and told himself that the touch of the fingertips was as sexy as it gets.
Then one November day, Hurricane Blaine blew down the stairs, into his life, and took him by the hand, unintentionally or intentionally serenading him, and flirted shamelessly, openly, and unmistakably with him. And somehow, for some reason, hot, smart, sweet, boyish Blaine, talked to him, looked him right in the eyes, touched him - on the arm, on the shoulder, held his hand, arm around him, bought his coffee, confided in him...for the first time in his life, someone was completely unafraid.
Blaine was not just like him - Blaine liked football, hung out with guys, was exceedingly polite and friendly. And still, he could look at Kurt with such affection, did look at him, saw him, and kept being there. Unphased.
Kurt had had some serious stars in his eyes, but the sun came up and the stars faded because seriously, Blaine, kissing a girl? And needing to be at the centre of every damn performance every damn time? So the stars faded but Blaine didn't and then somehow when it was all but impossible, Blaine kissed him. Boyish, sweet, charismatic, and oh so incredibly hot Blaine was shy and vulnerable and softly kissing his lips, his tongue. And then not so softly at all. The stars came back, but only a bit, and Kurt just thought that kissing Blaine must really be the very best thing in the world.
Until he realized that there were even more very best things. And that Blaine wanted to try them all... with him. And he was getting used to it...and better at it...he really was. He loved all of it - learning to use teeth, tongue, to bruise red so perfectly just beneath a collar so only he would know, bare chests against each other, learning not to be afraid or nervous, or anything other than totally turned on when he could feel Blaine hard against him, learning to increase friction, to let himself go there, to watch Blaine moan, to come together. Kurt wanted Blaine, like really wanted him,... but he somehow hadn't really figured out how much Blaine wanted him. He was Kurt - he was gay, fashionable, funny, smart, even adorable...and he was Blaine's best friend. So they were together and they were happy. But Kurt believed that maybe he was just a little bit more happy because he had chased, and waited, and caught. He wanted more, and so every kiss, every first, was just that much more to him.
...
Blaine knew it because he knew Kurt. This missing piece in Kurt's mind somewhat exasperated him, but lots of things about Kurt exasperated him, and he was still crazy about him. So he let it go.
The first time that Kurt had gone down on him - a week ago - had blown him away. They had just gotten comfortable with touching and looking at and coming in front of each other, coming undone. Blaine thought his heart would explode watching Kurt like that, loose, naked, moaning, inside his own body, letting go. He loved that he did that to Kurt and he loved that Kurt and his voice and his touch and his whole body could do the same thing to him. He was completely himself, deeply happy, peaceful and giddy, and he wasn't even thinking about asking for more. They were naked, lying on Kurt's bed, side by side and kissing softly and deeply. When Blaine started to straddle him, reaching for Kurt's cock, ready to increase the intensity, Kurt pushed him back down on his back, sitting up.
"Wait."
"What?...I know you like that," Blaine said playfully.
"I do," Kurt blushed, "But just...hold on," Blaine looked questioningly up at Kurt kneeling beside him with a pensive, but deliberate look on his face as he stared at his cock. Blaine waited a moment, letting Kurt stare, but then it was too much not to break the tension.
"Like what you see?" he teased.
"What?" Kurt momentarily came out of his trance. "Yeah...yes. Yes, of course...it's just...I want to..."
Blaine lifted his head off the pillow as Kurt suddenly bent down and then up, sliding his tongue slowly up the length of his cock. "Holy shit, Kurt-" was all he could manage to say.
"You don't want me too?" Kurt stopped only half nervously because Blaine only swore when he really really wanted him to.
"Yes. Are you crazy? I'm just surprised, and amazed...and unf" Blaine arched his neck into the pillow and groaned, pulling Kurt's head gently back down and looking at him in the eyes, inviting, "only, and I really mean it, only if you want to." Kurt just licked his lips.
Kurt never did anything half way, and why would blowjobs be any exception? He had obviously done his research, because he had known what to do. He was slow and meticulous at the teasing licks and sucks, before trying so hard to pull more and more into his mouth. Whatever he lacked in technique, he made up for in his desire to give, and Blaine was so in love and so turned on, he could not imagine anyone more expert. He left Blaine on the brink, and panting. It was wet and sexy and beyond anything he could have imagined. It was the hottest experience of his life. It was Kurt.
"I would have swallowed, you know?" Kurt said to him while coming down from their post orgasm bliss.
"I know," Blaine answered, "but I wanted to come together...it was just...so much from you. You give so much. And you are so good at it," Blaine said with such sincerity.
"Well, you know," Kurt blushed, "just following my 'how to' pamphlet's 5 step guide to the perfect blowjob," he laughed and looked down. Kurt and his humorous but self deprecating remarks, always shifting the attention away from himself. Blaine looked at the naked boy beside him straight in the eyes, and then softly kissed his lips, exasperated.
...
A week later, Blaine had convinced Kurt to go with him to the all ages night at the local, and only, gay bar in Lima. "Why? So we can meet the other two gay men in Lima who happen to be an older, married football player, and an even older drag queen who likes to pray on twinkies like us? You know I am only agreeing to this if my single,...or not so single ladies can come too."
"Oh come on," Blaine looked incredulously at Kurt, "It'll be fun - like music, and disco balls, and dancing with my boyfriend fun...and besides, I know of at least three other gay guys in Lima."
"Oh yeah, I forgot Jeremiah-" Kurt rolled his eyes.
Blaine just smiled, "so did I."
It was his first time in a gay bar, and the energy was electric. The thumping music, the disco room, the dance room, go go dancers in cropped shirts grinding on the tables, Kurt couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness and amazingness of it all. And the guys, so so many gay guys, his age, Blaine's age, maybe a couple of years older. Who knew there were actually more than two gay guys in Lima? Although six months ago he didn't know there was more than one. Kurt wasn't used to blending in wearing a strait jacket and white skin tight jeans. It made him self conscious. His eyes fleeted from the drag queen on the stage in front, to the hot young, gym bunnies in wife beaters grinding together on the dance floor, to Mercedes and Rachel, who were definitely enjoying the scenery. It was so in your face, unapologetically gay...and sexual. He blushed despite himself.
"I can't believe I brought you to this," Kurt apologized, wondering why they hadn't yet run screaming for the door at such open sexuality - guys flirting, kissing, grinding. This was Rachel Berry after all and he wasn't even quite sure what to do with himself - and he was gay.
"Come on," Blaine's familiar voice leaned in, taking his coke out of his hand, replacing it with his hand "let's dance."
Blaine was hot even when he was drunk, kissing a girl, and utterly clueless, drooling over a stage in Rachel Berry's basement. There was something about Blaine - he had musicality coursing through him, his voice, his movement, his sparkling eyes. His performance at prom had practically undone Kurt, the sounds he had made, that he could let go of himself, Kurt was always entranced. But here, the sultry slow vibes of Wicked Game thumping as Blaine reached for him, pulling him in, legs intertwined, bodies so close,... Kurt was dizzy. He could feel people's eyes on them,...on Blaine, the teenage twinkie with no sense of how hot he was on the dance floor. Blaine was oblivious. And now his lips were softly brushing against Kurt's neck, just soft pecks at first, then teeth, now tongue. 'There's going to be a bruise tomorrow,' Kurt knew as he closed his eyes, leaning down to bring Blaine's lips to his. Blaine groaned in tune with the music.
The world was on fire,
No one could save me but you,
Strange what desire will make foolish people do...
No I...don't wanna fall in love...
"What are we doing?" Kurt felt like his knees were giving out, kissing Blaine... so much raw energy, so public. His friends were right beside them.
Blaine looked up at him, eyes warm and lusty, "It's okay, Kurt...look around. We're allowed...and well, I can't really keep my hands off you right now,...sorry," Blaine smirked before leaning back into Kurt's neck again. Kurt whimpered, giving in.
...
"I'll get us drinks, Kurt. Meet me by the bar, you can show Mercedes and Rachel where the washrooms are - remember, guy in dress is men's. Woman with mustache is women's."
"Two cokes, please."
"Make that three," Blaine looked up at unfamiliar blue eyes, smiling flirtatiously at him. He was objectively hot, probably a few years older than him, definitely spent time in the gym. Sweet, but -
"I'm Matt," he extended his hand.
"Blaine," Blaine was nothing if not polite.
"I noticed you on the dance floor, but I haven't seen you before-"
Blaine laughed, "I'm in highschool. All ages night, remember?" Nothing like the truth to get any misguided ideas out of his head.
...
Kurt rounded the corner when he saw the blonde haired, blue eyed, gym bunny leaning into Blaine over the bar. His heart raced, watching Blaine's sparkling eyes make contact with the evil gym boy's. Seriously,...this was not happening.
Blaine's back was to him and he could just overhear the conversation.
"Right," he laughed, "well, I'm only a college freshman...and I saw you out there with someone-"
"Kurt, my boyfriend." Blaine said plainly.
"Lucky guy...he's cute."
'oh please,' Kurt rolled his eyes.
"He is," Blaine agreed, hoping this was now the end of the conversation.
"So I guess it's like you're the two gay guys in your highschool, or whatever?" Matt pushed.
Blaine was now getting annoyed. Kurt was indignant, and oh so curious. "No, actually. We go to different schools. And while I'm sure you're a really nice guy...I'm kind of in love with him, so-"
"In love?" Gym Bunny laughed, "at sixteen and gay?" Blaine just looked at him and shrugged, "so I guess it's because you have so much in common and he gets you and all that?"
"Well, yeah," Blaine, now firmly with the upper hand, "I mean I can recite the romantic cliches as much as you can, and he's definitely my best friend, but most of all, y'know," Blaine leaned in smirking, "he gives great head."
Blaine whipped around quickly to face a now gaping Kurt, reaching flirtatiously for his hand, "I thought you might be standing there." Matt backed away slightly as Kurt approached Blaine's side.
"Oh my god, Blaine...You were so milking that-" Kurt whispered in his ear, "I'm slightly scandalized."
"Well then I must be doing something right," Blaine pulled him in between his legs, facing him.
"He was hot."
"I guess."
Kurt didn't need to say anymore. He wasn't even interested. He looked at Blaine looking at him. And he kissed him.
...
Kurt was twirling Mercedes around the dance floor when a familiar 80's song came on. Kurt looked over to make eye contact with Blaine, laughing.
You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, when I met you...
Blaine smiled, reaching out to Rachel. "Dance with me, Rachel, for old time's sake...Kurt won't mind...he gets me later anyways."
"True. And I would be honoured." Rachel held out her hand. She had to admit that Blaine had one up on Finn when it came to dancing. "I've been watching you and Kurt...and analysing."
"Really?" Blaine was amused. This was very Rachel. "And what psychoanalysis do you have for me today, Ms. Berry?"
"Now I have been in New Directions long enough to witness ridiculous permutations and combinations of hook ups and break ups -"
"Yeah. You guys are pretty crazy."
"But you and Kurt. You're just solid. I can tell you're in love with him, you know?" she said proudly.
"I am... He knows," Blaine shrugged, "though sometimes I think he has a hard time believing."
"That's just because he spent so long not having anyone fully appreciate how fabulous he is," Blaine smiled. He loved how Kurt's friends loved Kurt. "I mean, I can understand that. I always knew that I was destined for greatness, but I didn't think that would be what Finn would want. There's something lonely about being on top."
"Oh Rachel," he kissed her cheek, "You are such a drama queen. You blend right in," he laughed, "and we haven't figured out who's on top yet," he teased.
"Blaine Warbler. I am shocked with the tone of this conversation."
"Oh don't be," he laughed, "We're teenage boys after all."
...
It was close to 2am when they entered Blaine's empty house, his parents away on vacation. They showed the girls to the guest bedroom, "I love when I'm telling my dad the truth about having a sleepover with Mercedes and Rachel," Kurt laughed intertwining his fingers with Blaine's swinging their arms as he walked towards Blaine's room.
Blaine stopped just inside his door, turning quickly to face Kurt, eyes serious.
"What?" Kurt looked questioningly.
Blaine just shook his head. "I'm going to apologize in advance," Blaine's eyes were shining, mischievous.
"Umm..okay."
He pushed Kurt against the wall, kissing him hard and fast before dropping to his knees. His hands flew over Kurt's button, pulling down his zipper, jeans, boxer briefs.
"Blaine...wow. Woh...So hot. So.." Blaine hesitated, looking Kurt right in the eyes. How could he not know? Kurt's hands were suddenly flying over his strait jacket buckles, undoing unzipping pulling off, away. "Get these layers off me, Blaine," He said almost desperately. Blaine loved him like this.
Kurt knew.