This does contain spoilers, so be warned! If you have not passed the season 2 mid season ("Pretty Much Dead Already" I think), don't read this. If you've not yet gotten to the season 3 mid season ("Made to Suffer") don't read the second part of the chapter.
Have fun!
Chapter 1
I feel in my element whenever I step into the forest; like the world escapes me. I creep over towards where I see the deer I am hunting. The deer stops and looks up, away from where I am. I listen quietly. I hear the familiar groan of a walker. I sigh and aim my bow at the deer's head. I hold my breath. Someone taps my shoulder. I jump pretty hard and flinch away from the hand. Thankfully I don't shoot out of sheer panic, and I look behind me. It is Merle.
"Jesus Christ." I whisper, relaxing. The deer sees me do this and runs away.
"Sorry baby brother." Merle says calmly. I turn to look back at the deer, and sigh. The world goes black, and cold.
"Why couldn't you find me?" Merle asks me. I turn to look at him. His hand was on the floor beside him. He had dead eyes.
"Why can't you find me, Daryl? Mommy's counting on you." Sophia says to me. I turn around and stare at her. She is hugging her doll close. She has the sun on her left shoulder. Her eyes become somewhat like Shane's as she runs and stabs me in the thigh. Merle is now a walker, coming and biting my arm. I snap awake. Glenn had told us about the walkers in the barn, and it must be getting to me. I can't ignore what Sophia said, though. I head out of my tent and head towards the stables. I feel like I'm going to scream. I reach for a saddle and lug it over to the holder. I grunt in pain, and clutch my side. I wince and lean on the saddle.
"You don't have to do this." Carol says, and I jump slightly. I turn around and look at her.
"Yes I do." I mumble. Carol sighs and tries to come closer to me, but I shift causing her to stop.
"I don't want to lose you, too." Carol says, pain filling her voice. I feel anger rise up to my throat. I kick the saddle holder and wince in pain. I walk past Carol and I mumble to her, "Stupid bitch."
I walk back into the tent and breathe. I feel like the pain and fear will kill me. I sigh and try to breathe normally again, to collect and calm my nerves. I continuously breathe slowly. I hear someone scratch on my tent. I tense, and see Carol. I wince at her as I sit up. I get up and head out of my tent. A pang of guilt passes through me. I tap her and walk towards the lake. I hear her following me. I make no sound as we walk.
"Are you alright?" She asks me, but I make no reply. We get to the lake and I roughly sit. Carol sits beside me. I glance in front of me. I am panting, but I stare at the rose.
"I'm sorry." I start out. Carol smiles at me a little. She looks over at the Cherokee rose. She sighs.
"That's blooming for Sophia, you know?" I tell her, "I will find her. But there's something else I've been feeling. I feel like I'm being ignored by the group. Kind of like they don't even know I'm around. You notice that too?"
"I don't think so."Carol says simply, stroking the Cherokee rose's pedals.
Carol laughs and smiles at me. I wince at her. She glances over towards the barn. Rick and Hershel are over there, holding walkers with poles. I stand up and walk, with Carol following me, to the barn. I come to Shane as he's handing out guns. I take a shotgun and point it at the male walker. I hesitate to shoot it, though. Shane looks at Rick.
"What the hell are you doing Rick? We need to fight and survive!" Shane shouts. I shift uncomfortably. Shane raises his pistol and shoots the woman several times in the chest.
"If she was a human, she couldn't have survived that." Shane shouts. I gulp as I shift uncomfortably. Shane shoots her and the man, while Hershel falls with her. T-Dog and Andrea grab a gun as well, and we all watch Shane. He walks over to the barn, and opens it up. I point the gun towards the Walkers that are now wandering out of the barn. We begin to open fire on them, killing them before they come too close to us. The fire squad soon ended, and we are all left standing there staring at the barn. Carol comes up beside me. I glance at her. We hear one more in the barn. I raise my gun, but lower it when I see the figure of a child. I place the gun by my side. The child steps out of the barn. My heart stops. The world becomes cold. I lock my jaw, and grab Carol as she runs towards the girl. Carol begins to shriek something. My side hurts as I hold her back, so we both fall to the ground. I feel a lump form in my throat. I want to shriek and cry, but I can't. Everyone can't seem to get the nerve to end her, and instead watches as she inches forward. Rick finally steps forward, and points his gun at her head. He closes his eyes, and pulls the trigger.
"No!" Carol shrieks, reaching out towards the girl. She falls, collapsing in a graceful way. I can't let Carol go, no matter how hard I want to. I want to hold her tighter, but eventually she breaks free from my hold and just sits there, sobbing. I stand up and try to walk away, but I only manage to turn around. I close my eyes.
'This can't be real.' I think to myself. I turn around again as we begin gathering the bodies. Carol walks away from the scene, and I feel a pang of anger. I walk and gather the girl in my arms. She feels real. She is real. I heave a great sigh. I carry her towards the trees, where I presume she'll be buried. I lay her aside the other bodies. The others start to dig graves for the fallen ones that we know; the girl, Hershel's wife, and Hershel's stepson. When the three graves are finished, I lay the girl in one of them. I take a fistful of dirt and drop it over her blue t-shirt with a rainbow on it. I feel a pang of pain, and step back. Carol is nowhere in sight. My blood begins to boil. I stand and listen to people talk about the girl, but I block out what they actually say. When this breaks up, I head to my tent. I pack it up and carry it far away from the camp. I'm fed up with them.
I set up and go back for my bike. I walk it over to my little camp. I head into my tent and lay down, practically choking on the pain.
"I'm so sorry Sophia." I whisper, letting out some emotion. I feel tears flowing down the corners of my eyes. I am choking on this pain. I should have never let her in. I should have stayed secluded from the group. I should have…
…I should have been faster. It's my fault. She's gone because of me. How could I do that to Carol? To Carl? To the whole group? What kind of a person am I? I put everyone through that shit… for nothing. I could have found her. I came so close. I know it.
Then…how was she in the barn, without Hershel knowing? I sit up and grab my crossbow. I need to go hunting. I need to clear my head.
I hold my breath and count to three. I look at the test, and it came out with a little pink plus. My heart burst with happiness and pride. I do the rest of my business in the restroom and exit, busting with pride.
"What's going on, love?" My husband asks me.
"Look." I say simply, handing him the test. He looks at it, and looks at me. I smile at him, feeling like a happy duckling. He hugs me and kisses me.
"Isn't it great?" I ask him, excitedly.
"What do you want it to be?" He asks me.
"I don't care. I was thinking of naming the baby Sophia if it was a girl." I tell him.
"What if it's a boy?" He asks me.
"What was the name of that kid you knew, whose house burnt down?" I ask him.
"Oh yea…his name was Daryl something… I can't remember now, it's been too long." He tells me, deep in thought.
"Well it don't matter what his last name was. All that matters is that's what I want our baby's name to be if it's a boy." I tell him. He smiles at me, and laughs. I laugh with him. I feel someone tap my shoulder. I turn around and see my big brother. I smile at him and hug him.
"What's this for?" He asks me coldly. I look up at him with a huge smile.
"I'm just really happy." I tell him.
"Get off of me." He says coldly, pushing me off of him. I glare slightly at him, and fold my arms across my chest. Brother glares at me, and I look away from him, unfolding my arms and shifting. I can't stare into the eyes of Brother most days. He's intense. Other people are watching me. One of them comes up to me.
"What's going on?" She asks me.
"I'm expecting!" I tell her in excitement, getting over the awkwardness of Brother's reaction to my hug. She smiles at me.
"Congratulations!" She says to me. I smile at her, and she hugs me. I watch Merle stare at me in surprise. We break the hug.
"Don't give me that look." I call over to him.
"No, no. I'm happy for you." He says, wandering over to me.
"How's your hand been?" I ask him. He can be a complete and total jackass, but he's a really nice guy if you sit down and talk with him, as he says, "mono y mono."
"My hand? Hah!" Merle says, smiling at me, "It hasn't been bothering me. Thanks for asking."
"No problem. I was planning on naming the baby Daryl if it is a boy." I tell him, smiling sweetly at him.
"Why's that?" Merle asked, me picking up traces of clear pain. I know he misses his little brother. I wish my brother was like that.
"From what you and Jason have told me, Daryl sounds like one tough cookie." I tell him, "So maybe if they share a name, he'll be strong."
"You know what?" Merle says to me, shifting.
"What?" I ask him, expecting a snide remark.
"That's the cutest thing I've ever heard." Merle says to me, smiling. I smile back at him. He opens his arms to give me a hug. I cautiously give him one, and he laughs.
"I'm not going to bite you." He tells me, "I'm genuinely concerned about you. I see how your brother treats you."
"You're trying to make up for what you put Daryl through in your heart, aren't you?" I whisper to him, sighing. I hug him tightly.
"Yea I guess." Merle says to me, his voice becoming a whisper. I smile and break the hug, placing my hands on his shoulders.
"I'm fairly certain that Daryl would forgive you if you were honest and upfront with him." I tell him calmly. Merle shrugs, and gets my hands off of him. He walks over towards my brother and talks with him.
"Let's go prepare for the baby." My husband says, smiling at me. I smile in return, and follow him to our house.