Quick details about this story…it's set midseason 9. No specific reason other than I like Liv's hair during that time lol. So we have the season 9 cast with the SVU 2.0 characters there as well because hey why not? This story focuses on the victim's POV a little more than normal, it's different and I hope that you dig it. Leave a review to let me know what's up. Enjoy.
Machines beeped in sync with Dustin Reeves' erratic heartbeat as his eyes scanned frantically around the small ambulance. Air gushed into the foggy bag valve mask as he desperately tried to get oxygen into his lungs. People were talking, he couldn't decipher what they were saying but he heard the panic in their voices. Warm liquid poured from his head as hands quickly shoved white bandages against the dripping wound. A soft touch distracted him from all of the commotion as his eyes followed the extended arm. Attached was a brunette woman with soft, sincere brown eyes and a reassuring voice.
"Dustin, you're alright. Hang in there, you hear me? Hang in there; you're going to be fine. Stay with me, ok? Stay with me Dustin..." The soft spoken woman repeated several phrases of comfort and it was like music to Dustin's ears. The rhythm of her choice of words, the melodic tone that she used was so calming. The heart monitor began to find a steady pace, and his lungs no longer felt like they were about to explode. Dustin couldn't speak but he let his hazel-green eyes lock with the consoling woman and gave her hand a tight squeeze to let her know that he was with her. Her face lifted into a beautiful smile as she reciprocated his action.
Minutes later he was rushed through the emergency wing of Mercy Hospital. People in green scrubs and white coats ran toward him dishing out orders. His eyes searched for the mystery woman from the ambulance as he was transported onto another gurney. Scissors cut through his clothes as he felt his eyes becoming heavy. The pressure in his head was building and the pain was becoming too much to bear. He felt himself slipping into a deep sleep as various voices continued to yell around him.
"We're losing him people, let's move!" The elevated female voice ordered. "Get me an available O.R. stat! Page the neurosurgeon on call and tell him that we have a twenty-five year old male with severe head trauma caused by a blunt object. Have him meet me in the O.R." And with that last statement, the young female doctor started to rush the gurney towards the elevator, headed for the O.R.
Dustin Reeves' eyes fluttered as he began to wake up from what seemed like the world's best nap. His eyes adjusted to the light as he began to take in his surroundings. A small bathroom was to his left and an old television set was hanging up directly in front of him. When he looked to his right he saw an exhausted looking woman sipping coffee, stifling a yawn. She looked up from her cup when she heard movement coming from the bed. He quickly recognized those distinct almond colored eyes as bits of his memory started coming back.
"Hey," said the soft voice just barely above a whisper. "I'm Detective Olivia Benson; I rode with you in the ambulance. Do you think you're up for me asking you a few questions?"
"I-I remember you. Am I alright?" panic was in his honey suckled southern drawl.
The detective reached for his arm to settle him down so that he wouldn't elevate his blood pressure. "You're going to be fine. The doctor said that you had a small brain bleed but they quickly got that under control. You have a few fractured ribs but should heal completely in six weeks. The rest of your injuries are superficial cuts and bruises." Benson paused to gather herself; she knew that her next statement would change his life forever. "They also ran a rape kit on you…"
Tears instantly filled Dustin's eyes as he closed them and images started flashing back to him. He could no longer keep the tears at bay as his body started to rock with sobs. The tortured sounds of pure hurt and pain were chilling. He pulled at his short crop golden blond hair as grief overtook him. The scene was so horrifying that Olivia was fighting her own tears.
"Hey you're still here, you survived and I'm going to catch whoever did this to you." Her eyes were blazing with fire and determination as she spoke those words to him. "Can you tell me anything about your attack?"
Dustin's sobs quieted as he sat there staring into space. He poured himself some water and drank it before he responded to Olivia's question. "I'm sorry about that ma'am, I don't normally cry like a baby in front of complete strangers," he tried to force a weak smile that didn't meet his swollen eyes.
"Don't apologize; you have nothing to be sorry for. And it's Olivia, not ma'am," she smiled. "So can you tell me what you remember about tonight?"
"Yes ma-I mean Olivia. I uhm, I was at Country Stock celebrating with my brother and some of his friends. I'm not gay," he added quickly.
"It doesn't matter. What happened to you has nothing to do with your sexuality. It wasn't your fault," she reassured the traumatized young man.
"No but I'm not gay. I was only at the gay bar because my brother and his partner just got engaged. We were celebrating. Back home where we're from people never accepted him and our parents struggle with it. He's been here for a year and I just moved up here a month ago and now this happens," Dustin dropped his head in his hands as he tried not to break down all over again. "I left them still celebrating a little after one. I-I uhm was walking out of the bar when a guy approached me and called me a faggot. I gave him the finger and kept walking, when I turned the corner I felt something hard hit me from behind. I fell down and I felt my body being dragged into the alley. He was kicking me and punching me, I tried to block him but I-I was out of it," tears filled his eyes again. "He said since I wanted to be a bitch that he would treat me like one. We struggled, I fought him, I swear I did…" The dam broke and he couldn't stop the waterworks from taking over. Olivia put her arm around his shoulder, bringing his body against hers as she tried to comfort him.
"Shhhhh, you're going to be alright. I know you fought, I believe you. It's ok Dustin, it's ok," her voice was low and soothing as she got up to refill his cup of water. "Here. I know that this is difficult but can you tell me what happened next?"
Dustin wiped his face and drank the water that Olivia had given him. He took a deep breath before he tried to begin again. "I tried to get him off of me, I screamed and fought, that's when he picked up a rock and hit me again. I blacked out; next thing I remember was being in the ambulance trying to figure out what was going on. He uhm, he raped me, didn't he?"
"Yes, I'm so sorry Dustin. I won't rest until I catch him, I promise. Do you think that you could describe him for me?"
"Yeah, uhm, he was white. I would say early thirties, short black hair with spikes. Full beard and super blue eyes, they were angry and full of hate."
"Good, that's very good Dustin. Any distinctive tattoos or scars, anything?" Olivia was jotting down every detail that the poor young man gave her.
"Uhm, not that I remember. His beard was weird though." Dustin's face contorted with confusion as he explained the details to Olivia. "His beard was the same dark color of his except for a small blonde patch on his left jaw. It didn't look dyed, it was just weird."
"Great, you did very well. Now get some rest and I will be back later to visit and to let you know of any new developments." Olivia closed her notebook, grabbed her jacket and proceeded towards the door.
"Olivia," Dustin's voice was deep with a twang, mixed with sadness. "Thank you, for not making me feel like, like a bitch for letting another dude ra-," his words trailed off before fire shot through his body. "Damn it, I can't even fucking say it!" He took a deep breath to try and calm down. His voice lowered back down to a whisper before he spoke again. "Just catch him Olivia, please."
His heartfelt please tugged at Olivia's heart and she was going to do everything in her power to find the son of a bitch that raped Dustin Reeves. "I will," she said matter-of-factly. "Now get some rest."
After talking to Dustin Reeves, Olivia knew that she wouldn't be able to sleep so she didn't even try. She didn't leave the hospital until almost seven in the morning so she stopped at the coffee shop to grab a quick breakfast before heading into the precinct. The 1-6 was its usual busy self on a Monday morning. Her coworkers had a serious case of the Mondays but she had made a promise to Dustin and she needed their help to keep it. She dropped her belongings at her desk and got busy pinning pictures to the board for their morning brief. Captain Cragen approached her and let his eyes wander over the timeline that she had placed upon the board.
"Is this the case that you caught early this morning?" asked Cragen.
"Yep, the victim is still at Mercy all beat to hell. This animal did a real number on him Captain. I want his ass," Olivia was fuming as she remembered the young man's gut wrenching sobs that will surely hunt her until she catches the prick that hurt him.
The Captain knew that familiar look in his detective's eyes. He got busy giving everyone their orders. "Alright everyone listen up. We've got a twenty-five year old male vic assaulted outside of a gay bar. It's most likely a hate crime or a closeted angry jackass looking for someone to take his anger out on. Fin, Rollins go and canvass the area around Country Stock and ask the bartender has there been any recent attacks or homophobes hanging around. Munch, Amaro see if there are any open cases with the same MO as the Reeves' case. Carisi, Lake find a sketch artist and get it out ASAP. Benson, Stabler go and check on the rape kit, see if there's any DNA. After you're finished go and check on our vic. Alright people, let's go." The respected detectives filed out with their marching orders.
5 days later…
The sketch that Cragen had requested proved to be the break in the case that they needed. An anonymous call was made stating that the sketch looked like Carson James, a neighborhood grocery store bagger. Several other tips were made stating a similar account. Cragen ordered Benson and Stabler to head over to the grocery store to bring in their suspect. Twenty minutes after leaving the station the detectives pulled up to the neighborhood grocery, they exited their vehicle and proceeded into the building. When they got inside of the store, they quickly began to scan the room looking for their person of interest. Elliot got Olivia's attention and nodded his head into the direction of the target. Olivia went forward as Elliot flanked.
"Mr. James?" Olivia flashed her badge as she approached the suspect. "I'm Detective Benson; can I have a word with you please?" James looked up from the bag of groceries to see her shiny badge staring back at him. He stepped closer to Olivia before he shoved her forcefully and turned away to make a run for it. He didn't make it far as Elliot's fist connected with the side of his left jaw next to his blonde patch in his dark beard. Olivia rallied quickly and pulled James to his feet as Elliot cuffed him.
A smug smile was on Olivia's face as she began to read him his Miranda Rights. "Carson James, you are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent…" Back at the precinct Olivia was itching to get that asshole in the box, to get justice for sweet Dustin Reeves. Her adrenaline was pumping as she paced around her desk before Elliot was ready to get started with the interview. They walked into the interrogation room and got down to business. Five hours later they had their confession in writing and a crying perp being transported to lock up. Olivia let Elliot go home while she went to the hospital to deliver the good news to Dustin.
Olivia arrived at Mercy with flowers half an hour after she left the 1-6. She made her way to Dustin's room, happy to see his brother was there with him. "Hey, sorry to interrupt," said Olivia.
"Olivia, come in. Any news?" asked an eager Dustin.
"Actually there is," she looked over to his brother, trying to see if it was ok for her to proceed with him in the room.
"Hey Dave, give us a minute will ya?" Dave gave a smile to Olivia before he exited the room. "I haven't told him everything yet. I can't look him in the face and tell him. He just thinks that I got mugged, I will tell him…eventually," drawled Dustin. "So what's the news, Detective?"
Olivia smiled, placed the flowers down and locked eyes with Dustin before speaking. "We got him. We told him that you ID him and he started spilling his guts, full confession. You won't have to testify, he took a deal which really wasn't a deal at all, he's an idiot. It's over, Dustin."
Dustin's hazel-green eyes began to water as he digested Olivia's words. "I can't believe you caught him. Thank you, thank you so much," he reached for her hand. "I just feel so violated. I should have been able to defend myself; I can barely look at myself in the mirror. I just wish I knew why he attacked me."
"He is deeply closeted; he saw you leaving the bar and assumed you were gay. He viewed you as out and proud while he was miserable and self-loathing." Olivia pulled out a card from her pocket and handed it to him. "You might not feel it now but you will get through this, trust me. Here's the name of a very good therapist, give her a call. Find you a survivors' group; it's time to begin your healing process."
He took the card from her and read it. "You know I wouldn't have been able to do this without you. You were there from the very beginning, I remember you holding my hand in that ambulance. Your voice soothed me; you've been amazing to me. Thank you Olivia, for everything." The tears flowed as he continued to hold her hand.
"You're welcome, Dustin," said a choked up Olivia. She had seen her fair share of victims but there was something so innocent and sweet about Dustin. This case had really affected her personally and she was glad to get closure for the young man.
One week later…
"Olivia that kid has got it bad," teased Elliot. "He sends something every day. Flowers, thank you cards, chocolates…you need to let him down easy."
"Shut up, El," replied an un-amused Olivia.
"So what did good ole Dustin send us today?" inquired Munch.
"We've got chocolate today, Munch and a very sweet note," Elliot cleared his throat before he tried to imitate Dustin's thick southern accent. "Olivia, not a day goes by without me being thankful for you. Every time that I feel like giving up, I hear your soft voice telling me that I will get through this. Thanks. –D." Elliot, Munch, Fin and Carisi all busted up laughing at Elliot's spot on impersonation of Dustin's accent. Olivia was not impressed; her brown eyes shot daggers at the laughing detectives.
"Yep, that's my cue. Later guys see you tomorrow," said Carisi as he exited. Fin and Munch weren't far behind him as they left for the day as well.
When it was just the two of them alone, Olivia let Elliot have it. "That was not funny Elliot. He was a victim; he's working through a lot of things right now."
"I understand that Liv, I do," said Elliot as he got serious. "But don't you think that he is a little I don't know, clingy?"
"El you know that sometimes victims cling. He's just going through an adjustment period. When he gets into therapy he will know that I was just doing my job. Then he will focus on his recovery instead of me."
"Ok, you're right. I won't make any more jokes about Dustin. I can't imagine how he must be feeling, doubting his manhood. I'm glad we got that son of a bitch, James."
"So am I, now let's get out of here," said Olivia as she gathered up her belongings and headed for the door. She walked into her apartment building shortly after leaving the precinct. Her phone buzzed with a text message as she stepped inside. Hey it's Dustin, hope that you got my note. Give me a call when you get a chance. Olivia's brow knitted with confusion as she tried to figure out why Dustin wanted her to call him. The brunette detective figured that it was time for her to have the necessary talk with him. She placed the call and waited for him to pick up.
"Hey Olivia," that distinct twang vibrated through her phone. "I was hoping that I'd hear from you soon," he sounded wired like he hadn't slept in days.
"Dustin are you alright?" asked a genuinely concerned Olivia.
"Yeah I'm fine, couldn't be better. I'm out of the hospital, I-I'm ok ya know. I was hoping that you've been getting all of my gifts, you're my hero ya know or should I say heroine," his words ran together hastily as a weird laugh escaped his mouth.
Olivia knew exactly what was going on with Dustin, he was in denial and sleep deprived. He blocked out the attack and focused on Olivia, the person who comforted and consoled him at his darkest hour. "Dustin I need you to listen to me alright, you need to talk to somebody about what happened to you. If you don't want to talk to a therapist, tell your brother. He loves you and he will be there to support you. You can't stay in denial about this forever."
"I have talked to someone, you. My heroine, I need to see you. Can we get coffee or something? I'm feeling very anxious right now; I think I'm losing it. I know he's in jail but every time I close my eyes I see him, this is crazy I'm a man. I should've kicked his fucking ass! I'm not gay Olivia; I didn't want that, I didn't." He was indeed losing it.
"Calm down Dustin, calm down. Where are you?"
"I'm at my apartment; I don't think I can handle this Olivia. It's too much, I can't do this, I can't, I can't," it was like a chant, that he kept repeating over and over again.
"Yes you can Dustin, breathe. Have you taken your medicine? Your anti-anxiety meds will help to calm you down. Stay there, I'm on my way." She ended the call and was met with concerned dark eyes.
"You're not going over there alone," said a stern Nick.
"What do you want me to do? He will freak out if a guy comes; he fears that he's not a real man since he couldn't protect himself. He also thinks that other men will judge him for being attacked," explained Olivia.
"Well call Rollins; it's something about this guy that I can't put my finger on. He's becoming obsessed with you Liv and I don't like it."
"I can't make Rollins come with me on her night off, he's harmless, just traumatized Nick. I'm scared that he might try to hurt himself, I have to go. I will calm him down, make sure he takes his meds and explain to him that I can no longer coddle him. I will encourage him to get some professional help. Happy?"
"No, I'm going with you. I will wait in the car," said Nick as he grabbed his jacket. "Let's go."
"You're not the boss of me Detective," she leaned in to place a chaste kiss on his lips.
His brows relaxed as he leaned into another kiss, this one lingering. "I am today Detective, now let's go," he lead her out of the apartment and locked the door behind them.
The drive over to Dustin's was interesting, Nick had warned Olivia that Dustin was unstable and that people in his condition are unpredictable. She rolled her eyes as he continued to go on and on about overly clingy people snapping when they don't get what they want. Olivia felt that Dustin was different; he was innocent, naïve even. A terrible thing happened to him and he was just trying to hold on to what made him feel safe, he couldn't help that person was Olivia. The brunette detective was relieved when they arrived at the young man's apartment so that she wouldn't have to hear Nick rattle off every stat in the last decade about victims in denial with misplaced affection.
"Wait here," she instructed Nick who was not happy about her decision to go inside alone.
"Fine," he huffed.
"Dustin," called out Olivia as she proceeded to knock on the door. "It's me, Olivia." She heard the peephole open and close followed by the unlocking of several locks and chains. When the door swung open, Olivia gasped at the sight of the young man standing before her. His bruised face was healing but his eyes were wild and bloodshot red like he hadn't slept all week. His hair was greasy, untamed and it looked like he didn't own a razor as blonde whiskers invaded his face.
"Olivia!" he practically shouted as he pulled her into an unexpected hug. "Come in, sorry about the mess," the apartment was spotless; the only thing out of place was him. "Can I get you anything? Coffee, water, juice, whiskey?"
"N-no Dustin, I'm fine. Sit down so that I can talk to you," She waited until he was seated before she began. "I'm very concerned about you, you're not coping and I feel that you're on the verge of a nervous breakdown. You need to seek treatment Dustin; I'm just a cop not a therapist. I can't do this for you or be here every time that you freak out. The gifts and calls have to stop. Channel that energy into getting well Dustin, take care of yourself."
His once soft hazel-green eyes flashed with anger. "So what I'm not your fucking problem anymore? You've done your job and you're just done. You told me that you would be here for me every step of the way!"
"And I have been Dustin; I've done my part now it's time for you to do yours. You're still young with a lot of life ahead you, don't let this destroy your future. Please get into counseling, talk to someone. Take care of yourself Dustin." She stood to as she got prepared to leave.
"Olivia don't just turn your back on me, please. I can't do this alone, I only trust you. I can't talk about this with anyone else; they will judge me and blame me for not defending myself."
Olivia felt terrible, she saw the need and the desperation in his sad eyes but she couldn't allow this to keep going on. As much as she hated to admit it Nick and Elliot were both right, Dustin was unstable and unpredictable. She just couldn't leave him in that state, he was suicidal and she knew it. "Dustin, let me check you into the hospital. They will keep an eye on you and make sure that you take your meds. The meds will help you think clearly so that you can make the right choices and seek help. Will you let me take you?"
"No! I don't want to go back to the hospital. Hospitals are for sick people, I'm not sick Olivia. I just need, I don't know what I need. I can't eat, I can't sleep. Just tell me that I'm going to be alright like you did in the ambulance," he reached for Olivia as she stepped back from his hand.
"I can't coddle you anymore Dustin, I'm sorry," with her last efforts of trying to help Dustin behind her, Olivia exited the apartment. She heard things crashing and expletives as she continued down the hall, her heart broke for the young man but she had done all that she could, the rest was up to him. "I'm so sorry Dustin…"
Please review and let me know what you think! More chapters to come if you're interested.