Author's note

This is my very first fan fiction, not to mention that English is not my native language and because of that I am fully open to criticism in regard of the story and my grammar.

Don't be disappointed if the rating is not representative of this particular chapter, the more interesting things will be arriving soon.

En bref, I sincerely hope you will enjoy my fan fiction.

Chapter 1

February the 7th, attached to one of the Batmobile's wheel with string floss was a joker card on which map coordinates and a date were written. It took only a matter of seconds for Batman to locate the rendez-vous point and figure out that it was in a dead end alleyway. He was suppose to meet him there in seven days, but knowing this would of course be a trap, he decided to investigate the place beforehand, although not today and not as Batman, due to the fact that Joker would surely expect that from the detective.

February the 8th, forenoon. Before heading to the Wayne Tower, Bruce disguised himself; beard, black toque, large gray shirt, old dirty coat, jeans with paint stains and boots. He looked like some random guy you easily forget about. He was carrying a backpack in which he had spying equipment, cameras, microphones, etc. It was early, the sun was rising and most people were still asleep. As he approached the alleyway he got more cautious, looking around to see if anyone was there, keeping an ear out for uncanny noise, but nothing. The area was clear. He went and placed the equipment in a way it could not be seen and he'd have ears and eyes everywhere.

"Can you hear and see me?"

He waited a few seconds, his phone vibrated. He took it and read the message.

Alfred: All the microphones and cameras are working.

Bruce walked a few streets where he joined Alfred in the car. He had brought him some clean clothes for work. He began grooming and changing himself in the car.

"Read 1984 recently, Master Wayne?" Said Alfred while not looking at him.

"Joker left me an invitation yesterday, he wants us to meet there on the 14th. I want to keep an eye out for when he'll eventually set up a trap for me."

"Sounds easy enough."

Bruce finished changing and Alfred started driving.

"Too easy if you ask me."

"I do not see anything negative with his work being sloppy for once, he's been a pain in your neck for so long."

As they got closer to the Wayne Tower, Bruce yawned and simply replied

"Let's just keep an eye out for now."

February the 13th, nothing had been caught on camera. All there had been was some hobos sleeping and drinking, Batman stopped a pitiful drug deal thanks to the surveillance equipment, some kids doing graffiti, but nothing Joker related. Alfred was delighted by this, to him it seems Joker had just been careless and clumsy in his doing this time, but to Batman this was alarming. It was like the calm before the storm. He stayed up all night, just watching, listening, waiting for anything to happen, only the be somewhat disappointed.

He slept a little at work that day, a little in his office, a little during a meeting, he just slept like a teenager in math class, waking up from time to time feeling slightly ashamed. He contacted Alfred multiple time during the day, but nothing happened in the alleyway.

February 14th, he was wearing his suit, sitting in front of the Batcomputer, more focused than ever. Alfred was next to him, he could hardly wait for something to take place, anything to make Bruce move on and stop obsessing over these screens. These had been seven tedious days, filled with stress and boredom and they were both absolutely annoyed with this situation. It was ending tonight.

It was 1:43 AM when some event arose. A car stopped next to the location and two thugs got out. They went to the trunk where they got a man dressed up as a dog out. He was still alive, tied up and seemed to have blood on his face. They threw him on the ground and started beating him up. Joker related or not, this needed to be stopped. In no time, Batman got in the Batmobile and drove there as fast as possible.

When he arrived, they were still hitting the man in a costume. The thugs did not noticed the vigilante approaching, he took them out by knocking their heads together. Cliché, but never fails. The victim was barely moving, as Batman got closer he noticed foamy saliva around the man's mouth, he must have been drugged and needed help. He called GCPD to pick up the thugs and told them to also bring an ambulance for a man on an unknown drug. He then noticed the collar on the dog costume, it had a joker card attached to it. There were new map coordinates and a message consisting of a single word: NOW

"Alfred, this fight was set up by Joker. I just got a new invitation, I have to go elsewhere."

"Should I give these new coordinates to GCPD, sir?"

"No, less people around Joker means less potential victims, I'm going alone. Keep an eye on the man here."

He got to the rendez-vous point around a minute later. It was a bunker, he opened the door cautiously and walked in slowly. There was a passage in the form of an L, some light was coming from the room he had yet to see. Then he heard his voice

"You'll want to close and lock that door, trust me."

This was the right place, he could recognize that creepy unique voice anywhere. He did not move, he wondered if he should close that door. Batman always hated how Joker could make him doubt even the simplest thing; close the door or leave it open.

"Leave it open if it's too complicated for you..." He chuckled. "It's your privacy anyway."

What was he implying by that? He preferred not to imagine anything when it came to him, he was too unpredictable anyway to make any kind of assumption concerning anything. He chose to close and lock the door. Batman walked through the passage and his jaw almost dropped at the sight of the room.

There were little lamps powered by batteries against the walls lighting up the place, but not excessively. At the end of the room was a small table on which there was an unopened present and in the middle of the room, Joker, la pièce de résistance. He had his hand attached over his head with a chain holding on a solid pipe in the ceiling, so high he could barely touch the floor with his feet. He was wearing nothing but some red boxer. On his body he had things written in a blood red color; on his chest: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY and just above his boxer: PUNISH ME.

"Surprise!" He laughed.

"Joker... What is...?"

"Did you think I would forget about you on Valentine's day?"

"What is that suppose to be?"

"Your gift! I chose not to be selfish this year. There's a little something for you on the table behind me."

Batman could not grasp what was happening. He decided to take it slow, get his thoughts clear in his mind. First he needed to find out what was this about, second he needed to bring him back to Arkham, that's it. Simple enough, all he had to do was staying focus on the objective, not let Joker get under his skin.

"C'mon Batsy, stop staring or you'll make me blush."

He was staring, without realizing it.

"I'm bringing you back to Arkham."

"You don't say? But first you'll have to beat me up, really give it to me. No quick knock out."

"I don't want to hurt you, Joker."

He burst into a loud laughter, in the small and almost empty bunker it was deafening. Batman wished he had not said that, because all he wanted to do was beat him into silence, but he had to stand his ground. He focused again; the marks on his body, was it blood? He approached the still laughing clown and rubbed the HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY message, it smudged, but not in the way sanguine fluid would.

"Makeup?"

"Maybe it's Maybelline!" He giggled at his own joke.

That was one thing less to worry about, the dark knight felt like he was almost done with this. The plan was the keep ignoring Joker, take a look at the present in case it's something dangerous and bring him back to Arkham. Perhaps Alfred was right and the clown really botched this one, but he'd rather not jump to conclusion.

As he went to open the gift, Joker tried to keep facing him, but in the way he was positioned all he managed to do was rotate awkwardly with the grace of a piñata.

"You're going to love it." Joker said in regard of the present, emphasizing on the word love.

It was a red solid ball gag. Batman decided not to think about it, not to think about anything and he simply turned around and rushed his next words out.

"We're leaving."

They were facing each other, staring at one another, immobile. Joker smirked and answered softly.

"If that is what you wish."

That could not be that uncomplicated, the detective just knew he was missing something. Furthermore, the clown had surely not been clumsy in his work, this situation was nothing but the tree that hide the forest.

"You never give up that easy. Tell me what's going on." He got close.

"Why don't you beat a confession out of me?"

He stepped back, he could not give in to the effortless solution of brutality and intimidation. Anyhow, it's not like it ever worked with him.

"What happen if I simply take you and leave?"

"You could do that and see for yourself..." He smiled devilishly "Or you could beat a confession out of me."

Batman knew his nemesis and he had an idea. He sat across him in the room and said nothing, kept his eyes on him. Joker seemed to realize what he was doing, playing with his patience, his very short patience. The vigilante was not surprise when he started talking around two minutes later.

"There's a guy expecting to see me, where, when, who knows? I've never met him. The thing is, he knows this guy who knows this other guy, or is it a lady? Well, this person have the detonator to a hidden bomb that could blow up an entire building..."

As he was speaking, the dark knight got up slowly puzzled by this nonsense, but still concentrated.

"... and his mom's goat acts like a homing pigeon and it's all kind of related because that guy is expecting to see me because of this guy he knows who got the job from the guy-lady-person with the detonator who knew the man who made the explosives because he was the step-brother of..."

"Enough."

He knew this could have go on for countless minutes that would have seemed like hours. He couldn't stand hearing his constant talking, his nonsense. Couldn't he just put what he had to say in short? That is if he even had something to say, all he was doing is making long sentences of unbearable absurdity. He glanced at the red solid ball gag resting on the floor, hastily brushed the thought from his head.

"Long story short, there's a person expecting me to tell him how bad I got spanked in the name of justice or some other people will help me blow up a building."

On second thought, maybe Batman could have dealt with a little more nonsense.

"Why would you want me to hurt you? This is not justice, this is mindless violence."

"I am threatening the lives of many and you are going to save them by beating me up, hard. That's just what we do."

The detective stepped closer, Joker licked his lips.

"I really put a lot of thought into this gift, Batsy. You're a very dangerous and violent being with so many restrictions..."

"Joker, I do not enjoy beating..."

"You are tense!" He was growing impatient, not smiling anymore, staring at Batman, a vicious hunger in his eyes. "You need to let go, with me you can be free, for I am absolutely deserving of anything you could ever imagine!"

He could not know if this bomb story was real or not, but he he was not about to risk lives only to find out. The dark knight knew what he had to do, protecting people from this clown was what he always did. It was the right thing to do, beside the clown can take a lot.

He punched him in the stomach, saliva showered out of his mouth. He took a deep breath.

"Don't stop now..."

He grabbed his hair and pulled his head forward.

"Trying something new? I'm into..."

He uppercut his jaw, twice. Blood was pouring out of his mouth all over his torso. He jabbed him on the sternum, some of the sanguinary liquid splattered as he swung back, his feet no longer on the ground, his breath cut short. Batman grabbed him by his thigh and pulled him close, stabilized him.

"Joker, can you breathe?"

"I... I..."

"It doesn't have to be this way!"

He started laughing, even louder than before. The vigilante positioned himself behind him, still holding his thigh in one hand and punched his lower back. Joker let out an high pitched scream and kept laughing, he wounded his skin, it opened and it was bleeding.

"It's sorta therapeutic, don't you think? Letting all of the brutality out. I don't mind you calling me doctor..."

Batman turned him around to face him. He felt like an assaulter looking at these fresh bruises, watching the fresh blood still in motion over his body. His bare skin had some strange effect on him, he was use to fighting the clown prince of crime in his flamboyant purple suit that made him look like some king of decadence. Now he was simply abusing a defenseless disordered man.

"Do you ever wonder what I sound like when I'm begging for mercy? I know I do."

He shivered and chuckled lightly as the caped crusader placed a firm hand on the side of his neck.

"As much as I enjoy long eye contact with you, I'd like the strangulation to come later."

He stared deep into these green eyes infected with madness and torment, he really took a good look at his face. An incurable person who could not do better than inflict misery upon himself and others.

"Oooh... Baby, did you fall asleep with your eyes open or..."

He felt completely horrible for not having any guilt. He headbutted him, breaking his nose in a loud cracking noise. He now had some of his blood on his mask and face. He kept punching him, even kicking him, shredding his skin open, blood was getting a little everywhere, but since they were both getting a little hot and sweaty it felt cool and refreshing. Joker looked dizzy, he kept his head swung back, facing the ceiling a smile on his lips, his eyes sometime rolling back and closing. He was not laughing as much as in the beginning, it just kept getting more and more difficult to breathe in between the shocks his body had to sustain.

Batman stepped back a moment, he inspected his nemesis' body, covered in red, injured and weak. Then he watched him as he moved his head forward, spat some more liquid on the floor and giggled.

"I bet Catwoman never lets you do that."

The red solid gag ball had the end up in his mouth sooner or later, he groaned in response of this action. His pupils dilated as the dark knight ran both his hands slowly all over his body, analysing what bone he had broken. He pressed firmly against these; two ribs and the tibia seemed messed up. He washed off the blood on his gloves by rubbing them in green hair which he then clutched, pulling the head backward. The clown's eyes were closed, he was breathing unsteadily and quivering weakly. Batman reached up with one hand, untying him, doing it so he lands on his tibia and the sides where the ribs were broken fractured. On the floor he rolled slowly on his belly, trying to get up, but all he was managing to do was crawling toward the vigilante in the most pathetic way imaginable.

"We're done here."

Joker rose his head and moved it side to side in denial. Batman took one of the lamp from the floor and threw it as hard as possible on his nemesis, shattering it against his back. He let out a loud muffled noise that sounded like a scream, well that is what the caped crusader preferred to believe.

"We're done!"

He did not move this time, his leg got grabbed and he was dragged through the bunker and out of it. The night was cold and right out of this room that had been heated up with ferocity and intensity, it felt freezing. They stopped next to the Batmobile, where Batman let go of him to look for a pair of handcuff. Joker tried to get up and head back to the bunker, but he failed miserably landing on concrete about two meters from the vehicle, giggling as much as he could with the red ball still in his mouth. His hand were bounded in his back, and he got forced into the passenger seat. The vigilante sat next to him and drove a for few minutes. The clown was freezing which made him shake constantly, yet he had this demanding look in his eyes, fixed on the driver.

They stopped at a lake where they got out and Batman took off the gag ball and threw it in the water.

"My, my... I'm really getting it tonight, gift giving, some playtime and now you're taking me to the lake. You know, the night is still young, we could..."

"Wash, in the lake."

"Bats, I'm freezing here." Glancing at his almost naked body and back to the detective. "How about..."

The dark knight pushed him into the water, he got his head out a few seconds later, standing on one foot and laughing in a higher pitch than usual.

"Cold! So cold!"

"You are deserving of anything I can imagine." He replied pulling him out and rubbing the PUNISH ME and HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY messages off his body.

Back in the Batmobile, Batman was driving as fast as possible to get Joker to Arkham, he was so done. It felt weird for him to not feel any guilt, not any shame, he felt light. He hated to admit it to himself but it was therapeutic to just beat this trash clown and know he'll get praised by the whole city for it. He wanted him to get locked up, get away from him so that he could forget once again that he seriously had a problem. As long as he was in control, everything would be fine. For now, he was surprised that the clown did not ask for more with the kind of leverage he had in the situation.

"I can't wait for next time, and the time after, and after... I know that you and I will do this forever, yet I can't grow bored of it!" He sounded so enthusiast.

"What will you do the day I won't show up? The day someone will get the better of me, the day I'll die."

He stopped smiling, he seemed deeply disturbed, so upset he did not immediately realized the car had stopped and they had arrived to destination. Four guards approached and took him out of the Batmobile, he grinned.

"See Daddy, he got me home on time, just like you asked." He declared with a girly voice.

The youngest guard repressed a chuckled.

Bruce was back at the manor a little later, but he stayed up, sitting on a couch, doing nothing, relaxing. He strangely felt light, but there was still the matter of the explosives in a building. He knew by the time Joker would escape, he could investigate enough to find out which building was targeted and neutralize the bomb. Alfred walked in.

"I did not knew you were still up, Master Wayne."

"I was thinking about tonight's victim. Do you know anything about him, beside his survival?"

"Well, the doctors do not believe he had been drugged with common illegal narcotics. They think it could be a mix of home cleaning products, since the victim talked about being force to drink up a glass of mysterious blue liquid."

"Why was he dressed up as a dog?"

"The victim in question was once incarcerated at Blackgate for drug possession, it was at a time when Joker was here too. Apparently, he use to call him, and do excuse my language, bitch all the time and somewhat always got away with it."

"It was payback, he shouldn't have survived." He frowned.

"Aren't you glad he did, sir?"

"I am." He got up. "Joker talked to me about a group of people who helped him set up explosives in a building so that he could destroy it if he wants, maybe this victim is one of them. How many times does Joker fail to murder someone with the help of chemicals? I have to interrogate this man."

"Why would the Joker not want to destroy the building now?"

Bruce looked away, trying to brush off of his mind the thoughts of Joker's questionable gift and come up with something plausible and easier to explain.

"Who knows? I don't think we'll ever be able to figure this man out."

"I agree. I shall go to sleep now and may I suggest you do the same?"

"Yes, good night Alfred."

They both started walking in opposite direction to get to their room, but Bruce stopped.

"Alfred, why where you up so late?"

The butler turned his head and made a serious eye contact with his Master.

"Netflix."