A/N: I own nothing. Not Teen wolf. Not anything. Not Pride and Prejudice upon which this is loosely adapted.
This is un-beta'd. So sorry.
Sour Wolf and Sarcasm
"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife." Stiles sat in the coffee shop, leaning slightly on one arm as he nursed a headache that was just begging to grow. Fantastic, he had lunch plans with his Dad and Scott today, not to mention work later. Today was going to be exhausting, and he was having trouble listening to what Lydia was saying. His best girl-friend had agreed to tutor him early in the morning in a class that he was definitely flunking. Lit 101. He loved reading; but there was nothing interesting about the literature that was shoved on him in his college freshman class. It was hard enough as it is to concentrate, let alone try to explore the meaning of blue curtains. If he could choose his own reading, he'd probably be passing. His dad was going to kill him when he learned about the D.
D, like Deaton, who would want to lay him off so he could concentrate on school, and then what would he do? The concession stand wouldn't cover him. Turn tricks on the side walk to pay the bills? Hell no. He was too sensitive, and his Dad would straight up murder him.
"Stiles," Lydia called to him capturing his attention and he snapped out his thoughts with a blink of surprise.
"Wha?" He asked and Lydia;s jaw tightened as she pursed her lips with a huff of breath.
"Are you even paying attention?" She asked and Stiles ran a hand through his messily styled brown hair as he leaned back, with a forced laugh and a smile.
"Of course, Lydia, of course I'm definitely paying attention to uh-"He gestured at the book, craning his neck to peek at the title and Lydia slammed the book down, her furious pout on maximum. If he still had feelings for her, he would have thought it was absolutely adorable. Hell, he still thought it was adorable, but her eyes narrowed and that wasn't so much adorable as scary. His smile faded and he put his hands up.
"Okay, you caught me, I wasn't listening, but c'mon Lydia, this," he gestured at the book, "no connecting to this," he pointed to his hand, and then flicked his hand toward the book and back at his head a few times for emphasis. Her glare did not soften, and her lips turned into a frown and he sighed, sinking low into his seat and drumming on the table. "Okay, I'll try to pay attention," he said and looked out the window.
"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife, However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighborhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters." Lydia read and looked up at Stiles to see him staring out the window. He was watching a plastic bag, thinking about the song by Katy Perry. What did that lyric even mean? Do you ever feel like a plastic bag? What the hell was that? Blowing in the wind, wanting to start again? What does a plastic bag want to start again? Was this song about recycling? Was that what she was talking about?
"Stiles!" Lydia interrupted his thoughts again and he broke away from the street and looked back at her a slight smile on his face, but her scowl was deeper. He gave a slight groan and sunk down.
"Lydia, I hate this book, I mean, how can you read it?" He sat up again and tugged the book out of her grasp and read the first line. "What the hell does that even mean? That only rich guys want a wife? That some horny housewife wants to vicariously live through her daughter so she stakes a claim on the guy and shoves him into a relationship? This isn't how normal people work!" He gestured to the first sentence, almost standing as he leaned his long body over the table, causing passerbys to stare as he spoke loudly.
"Stiles, it's criticizing that type of thinking, Jane Austen is a woman before her time," Lydia said grabbing the book and Stiles straightened a little and he fell back into his chair.
"Was, Lydia, was. She's very dead, or extremely old," he said, lacing his fingers together and putting them on his stomach as he drummed his thumbs against his chest.
"You could at least try to read it yourself," Lydia swept back her strawberry blonde hair with a huff as she opened the book again, and Stiles dramatically groaned, ripping his hands away from his chest and running them down his face. He leaned his head back and let his arms fall to the side.
"That romance crap? No thanks, think I'll stick with um, I don't know, reality maybe?" He said suddenly the book went flying at his chest and struck him. "OOF!" He held his stomach and frowned at her. "Uh, hey, you almost hit my nipple!" He said rubbing over his chest and Lydia rolled her eyes again and she grabbed her frappe taking a sip from it.
"Stiles, do you want to flunk Lit 101?" She asked and Stiles grabbed the book and looked at the pastel blue cover.
"No, obviously, my Dad would kill me," he tossed the blue book onto the table and shot it a glare. "I just hate reading this crap, I mean…c'mon, who really believes that?" Stiles admitted scratching the back of his head with one hand as he stretched out with the other arm.
"That is the point," Lydia fumed, and shook her head and watched as Stiles stretched and crossed his arms, settling his head down on them. She was suddenly aware of how tired he looked, and she chewed her lip for a moment before reaching across the table and grabbing his arm. "Are you sleeping?" She asked and he looked up at her, his light brown eyes slightly blood shot as he fought against his exhaustion.
"I'm alright, just…working and going to school, trying to make sure my Dad doesn't like, go into debt paying for my education, and I'm just trying to move in with Scott maybe so I can be less of an expense," Stiles sat up and ran his hands over his face again, something he did when he was exasperated or exhausted. He cracked his neck and rolled his shoulders as he stared out the window. "I don't know, it just sucks being poor, ya know," Lydia pressed her lips together in a frown, her eyes soft as they looked on Stiles.
He knew she was looking at her with pity, and he really didn't need it. He should not have said anything, because Lydias parents were loaded, they owned a lake house, and he felt bad for making her feel bad about being well off.
"Stiles, if you need money-"she started and Stiles brought up his hand to stop her, this conversation had well overplayed itself in the past.
"Lydia, you're beautiful, I love you, but if you offer me money one more time, I will seriously have to reconsider my massive crush on you," he said and Lydia rolled her eyes and took another sip of her coffee and winked at Stiles in a teasing way.
"I thought you were, quoting you here 'over me' having given up on 'that romance crap'," she said and Stiles stretched out his arms again and gave her a smile.
"Romance is dead, and just because I'm over you, doesn't mean I wouldn't like to get under you," he grinned playfully and Lydia once again rolled her eyes and shook her head, as she sent him a dirty look.
"You're disgusting," she said getting up and grabbed the book up slamming it into his chest. "Read it," she said and tousled his hair as she walked away. Stiles watched her go with a lopsided grin. He loved her so much. Not like he thought he did, but she was still the same breathtaking girl she'd always been.
First impression of Lydia Martin: beautiful, smart, her strawberry blonde hair in pig-tails and her fancy new red shoes on. Stiles gave a small smile as he remembered. She was so cute back then.
He heard his phone buzz and he looked at it. A text from Scott.
My mom is here too.
Stiles couldn't help but chuckle.
Think today will be the day? ;)
He received the answer after a minute.
Dude, I really hope so. Her excuses for the hickeys are more pathetic than mine.
Stiles gagged, not wanting to picture that.
Dude, no. My dad. Stop.
He received the reply back almost immediately.
AND MY MOM!
See ya soon, brotha ;)
Stiles checked his phone realizing it was almost time for lunch with Scott and his Dad. Of course, Scotts mom would be joining too. He and Scott had a running bet of when his dad and Scotts mom would finally announce they were dating. They had been dating, at least since Scott and Stiles senior year. He saw them kissing in the hallway of their school.
Their High School.
On one hand he was excited to finally see the two getting together, on the other hand; ew! He never wanted to witness his dad, tough but tender John Stilinski, kissing again, because awkward. Especially since it was in his High School, the one place where Stiles was the one who was supposed to be getting action in the dark hallways.
As if.
He stuffed the book in his bag and went to his jeep which he'd had since he got his license. All bought and paid for, and the one true love of his life. He started the engine and the car roared to life. It was a quiet drive through town; well as quiet as could be with his loud ass engine. It was hot out and his AC was broken, so he could hear the roar with his window rolled down.
There wasn't much traffic on a Saturday afternoon. Of course Beacon Hills wasn't exactly a place that was well, uh, a beacon for people. Then again, he could be wrong. His eyes came across two large moving trucks that were parked in the street in front of the largest house in the neighborhood. It was probably one of the larger houses in Beacon Hills. This was the second day that these people were moving in, the second moving truck parked there today, and there was gossip all over town.
He knew they were loaded, because that house was going at a price greater than he could sell a kidney for. He then made a mental note to check how much it would be to sell a kidney. He only needed one right. He brushed the thought away as he saw the burly men hauling a long red couch from the truck.
As he passed by he wondered who actually had so much furniture they had to use two moving trucks just to make sure they got everything. Also, the trucks were totally in the way, one had been bad enough, now two. Hello! The street was small with barely enough navigational space let alone room for someone's superfluous moving needs. He huffed and gave an impolite honk of the horn, and drove toward home.
This was great; some pompous rich people, moving in and giving his dad a hard time because it wasn't suited to their stuffy needs. They already had the Argents in Beacon Hills, wealthy folks, with a beautiful daughter named Allison that Scott had dated. As soon as they learned of Scotts rampant poorness, Allisons mother forbid them from ever dating and sent her off to boarding school. She literally dropped off the face of the earth so much, people thought she died. Scott had been broken-hearted; it took him months to even say her name.
That was the worse few months of Stiles life. He almost killed Scott in hopes that Allison was really dead and they would be reunited. His constant mooning over his girlfriend when they were together was nothing compared the moaning he did when they split up. Allison couldn't even be bothered to say goodbye.
Ugh. He didn't want to think about it. He was getting flashbacks. He shuddered and drummed on the wheel as he drove on. So yeah, rich people, he not their biggest fan.
That's why, partially, he decided against trying to spy on the new richies in town, because he was sure at lunch Mrs. McCall would be there and she'd fill him in on all the sordid gossip. Hopefully they would finally break the news to him and Scott that they'd been dating for a long time now.
It was starting to get weird.
But it was really funny to see his Dad stumble over every conversation about Melissa McCall while Scott and Stiles would send each other knowing looks.
He pulled into the drive alongside Sheriff Stilinskis police car and Scott's motorcycle and hopped out of his Jeep as Scott descended from the stairs, his usual Scott smile plastered on his face. "Hey dude, you ready for the awkward family lunch?" Stiles asked and Scott grimaced and they embraced. Even though they went to school together, they hardly got to see each other outside of class. College had been a game changer for both of them, and really the only time they got together was for these weekly lunches, work, and sometimes the occasional party. It was mostly Stiles fault, because he had two jobs. Even though they worked at the same job, they often got separate shifts, so they just saw each other in passing.
"Maybe we should just tell them we know, just ease their suffering," Scott said as they pulled away and Stiles looked thoughtful for a moment and they both grinned.
"Nah!"
"So, did you see the new moving truck?" Stiles asked because even though he did not want to talk about the new people, he wanted to talk about the new people. Scott rolled his eyes and combed a hand through his dark brown hair.
"Are you kidding me? My mom won't shut up about it, seriously!" and Stiles had to hold back a laugh as he shook his head as his friend pitched his voice up and put his hands on his hip, " 'Scott! There are people who're moving in down the street and they look really nice. And it looks like they have a daughter!'" Stiles grabbed his shoulder and rubbed his neck as he looked at his friend critically.
"Dude, you're impression of your mom sucks," he said and Scott pushed him away with a laugh and Stiles let out a small cackle.
"Yes, it does," the voice from the porch silenced them and Stiles looked up to see the slim and dark Melissa McCall standing there, her arms crossed and jaw tight.
"Hey, mom," Scott shot Stiles a look who snorted a small laugh and the two boys rushed up the stairs, both planting a kiss on Melissas cheek. She mock shoved them away and Stiles winked at the nurse.
"You taking care of my pops," he asked and Melissa stuttered and a blush came over her face.
"Get inside, wash up for lunch!" She ordered and Stiles let out another snort of laughter as he headed inside and saw his Dad sitting at the table, scribbling something down on a piece of paper, his glasses planted firmly on his nose.
"Hey Daddy-o," Stiles said gripping his fathers shoulders, startling the older man. Sheriff Stilinski looked up at his son and took off his glasses as he rubbed his eyes.
"Oh, hey son, didn't see you come in," he said and Stiles gave him a smile and a pat on the shoulder when he saw on the table an envelope which said FINAL NOTICE in big red letters and he pushed away from his dad pretending he didn't see it. The words stuck out in his mind and he took a deep breath and shook his head to clear it from the anxious thoughts.
"What's for lunch?" Stiles asked as John went back to crunching numbers, probably trying to figure out how to pay whatever FINAL NOTICE was. His stomach gave a twist of as he scanned his brain for a way to help. Maybe skip a payment at school, but his Dad would find out and get pissed.
"I don't know, you'll have to ask Meli-uh, Mrs. McCall," Stiles could see his father's ears burning red at the mix up and couldn't help but smirk as he grabbed an apple from the fruit basket and took a bite.
"I think she's a little busy spying on the neighbors, apparently she's trying to hook Scott up with their daughter, if you ask me, she's better off buying a dog for Scott, it would have to love him," John shot his son a reprimanding glance over his glasses and Stiles threw out his hands as if to say 'what?'. John sighed and wrote a few more numbers down in his book before taking off his glasses and leaning back.
"Yes, she's been filling me in on the details all morning, I expect she'll have Scott introduced to them and him married off by the end of the month," Stiles nearly choked on his apple with laughter.
"That's if the girl will marry him, I mean, it is Scott," he said and John grinned and they heard Melissa clear her throat and their smiles disappeared as they looked back at her. She had a tray of sandwiches in hand.
"You know, I hear everything you guys say," she said and Stiles looked back at his dad and casually shrugged one shoulder.
"You're right, your son is a gem and he looks at everyone like he's having a religious experience, so he'll probably win over any girl that you thrust on him," Stiles promised taking a huge bite of his apple and grabbing his sandwich.
"I'm not thrusting any girl on him."
"Yes you are," John, Stiles, and Scott said simultaneously, as Scott had just walked into the kitchen. Melissa shot her son a look and sat down at the table, across from John. Scott and Stiles sent a glance in one another's direction.
"I'm not trying to set you up. Would I like for you to find a nice girl? Yes. Would it be nice if she's rich? Well, honey, I don't care if she's poor or rich, as long as you love her, but wouldn't it be nice to love her in a mansion?" Melissa was half teasing and Scott shook his head and Stiles waggled his eyebrows sarcastically as he rolled his eyes. "I learned their name though …their name…I'm trying to think of it…um…Yukimura?"
Stiles watched his father's eyebrows fly up at that and he chewed thoughtfully on his sand which and swallowed. "Yukimura, huh? I think I actually met them down at the station, they were looking for directions," he said and Melissa nearly dropped her sandwich as she leaned a little over the table.
"You gotta tell me, what were they like? Their daughter, was she Scotts age? Was she nice? Is she single?" Melissa asked and John chewed for a moment on another bite of his sandwich and he finally gave a shrug of his shoulders.
"Well, when I first meet new people, Melissa, my first instinct is not to ask if their daughter is single, as it tends to come across a bit creepy," he replied and Stiles and Scott both laughed under their breath as they saw Melissas jaw tighten as she gave a little pout, a small smile coming on her face.
"Okay, agreed, but it wouldn't hurt, since you met them, to go give them a housewarming gift right?" she said, looking at the boys who were inwardly groaning. Scott was beyond embarrassed, but he knew no amount of protesting would sway her.
"I think that is a great idea, Mrs. McCall," Stiles said slapping the table and Melissa looked at him in surprise.
"You do?" She asked reservedly.
"Yeah like, 'welcome to the neighborhood, here is my son Scott'," Melissa deadpanned as Stiles laughed at his own joke and Scott threw back his head, almost choking on his sandwich. She gazed over at John who was chuckling himself and she threw up her hands, her own exasperated smile creeping over her face.
"I'm done with you, you all are so hilarious," her words dripped with sarcasm and she got up and grabbed the plates and Stiles watched as his dad watched Melissa, a twinkle in his eye as Melissa grabbed his plate. She ran a hand over his back and John smiled softly. Suddenly, his eyes connected with Stiles and his face dropped with a large blush. Stiles eyebrows rose as he gave a playful smile, and John concentrated on finishing his sandwich.
Please Review!