Don't you wish you KNEW what was going on. . .
Don't you wish you could just UNDERSTAND it all? MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Weeeeeelllll! None of that will happen because. . .the weird writer has BEGUN.
Sad, isn't it? Well, here ya go. Here's my attempt at a funny Final Fantasy VIII ficcie. XD Reviews are wanted, good or bad. And no, I don't own FF7, that Japanese guy does. But you knew that. o.o()
====================================================
Squall -yawn- OH! WHAT A BEAUTIFUL SUNNY MORNING IT IS! I think I'll go outside and watch the lovely bluebirds sing and chirp outside the front gate!
Zell -pounds on the door- Hey man, you awake?
Squall -instantly collapses on the bed and pretends to be snoring-
Zell C'mon! I know you're awake in there! I heard you!
Squall Then why did you ask if I was awake.? HUH!?!
Zell Uhh. . .to be. . .erm. . .polite.
Squall YEAH RIGHT! HOW ABOUT YOU AND QUISTY GO GRAB A SPOON!
Zell Say WHAT?! HEY! You wanna go?!
Squall C'mon and try me! I HAVE MY FAITHFUL DOOR!!!
Zell The hell?!?!?! You feelin' okay this morning, Squall? o_O;;
Squall I feel. . .like a new man. . .!
Zell Well I bet it was a change for the WORSE! What's gotten into you!?
Seifer -just walking by- Hey chicken punk, what's up? XP
Zell Shut up! And I thought that was chicken wuss? _;
Seifer Ahh, screw it. I don't like chicken "wuss" anymore.
Zell .o_o;
*Weird noises such as a jackhammer, chickens squawking, a train signal, a cow mooing, and a car horn are heard inside Squall's dorm room, not to mention an insane hysterical laugh*
=================================================
Meanwhile.
*Moans, groans, and screams are heard inside Fujin's dorm.*
Fujin *moan* OHHHH!!! OHHHH!! Raijin. . .my body. . .my body! *scream*
Raijin FUJIN!!! GOD!!!!!
Fujin Raijin. . .give it to me! GIVE IT TO ME!!!
-We hear rowdy noises and the scene flips to Rinoa, Irvine, Quistis, and Selphie.-
====================================================
Kuja Ya'll gonna die now, hear?! NOW HAND OVER THE HERBAL ESSENCES OR YA'LL GONNA BE LYIN' ON THAT THERE FLOOR IF YA DON'T HAND IT OVER!!!
Selphie, Rinoa, and Quistis . . .O_O;;
Irvine JUST GIVE HIM THE BOTTLE! GIVE HIM THE DAMN BOTTLE! HE'S GOT A SPOON!!!!
Rinoa *reluctantly tosses a value size bottle of Herbal Essences over to Kuja*
Quistis We are sorry to have failed you, Garden!
Selphie And I didn't even get a chance to wash my hair with it.! You big ole meanie! UP YOURS, B@$^@%&!
Kuja POTTY MOUTH! *hiss* By the way, do you know why I'm here? O.o;
Irvine No, but we'd be kinda happy if ya LEFT!
Kuja Well. . .TOO BAD! I HAVE A SPOON! *holds up a large wooden mixing spoon*
Rinoa *gasp*
Selphie Irvy! Don't make him mad! He might torture us with it!
Kuja *runs over to the group of girls* That's right. . . *holds the spoon up to Selphie's neck* We wouldn't want things to get messy, would we? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *completely composes himself* Mhmm.
Quistis Oh no.Irvine.Selphie might---!!!
Selphie Irvy! Help me! Please! Just.do what he wants.
Rinoa Ahh, hell with all of you, I'm gonna go see what Squall's up to. *exits the scene*
Everyone . . .
Kuja Well, somebody didn't take their Midol this morning. HMPH! How dare she deny me!
Irvine Please. . .sir. . .let go of Selphie!
Kuja *in a childish way* NO!
Irvine Why. . .?
Kuja BECAUSE I SAID SO! XP!!
Selphie and Quistis *getting pretty scared* . . .o_o;;;
Quistis Sir.will you give the nice man the spoon? Please?
Kuja *shakes his head with an insane look on his face*
Quistis o_o; Well, um. . .how about, if we gave you. . .some shampoo?
Kuja . . .what kind? _;
Quistis Oh. well. um. how about a gift basket of Herbal Essences?
Kuja . . .with the body splash and the body poof, too? _!!
Selphie YES! YES! ANYTHING YOU WANT! JUST LET GO OF ME!
Kuja Okay. But if I don't get it by tomorrow, I'll be back! AHAHAHAHAHA!!! *poof, he's gone*
-And the scene switches back to Squall, Zell, and Seifer of course.-
====================================================
Seifer *pounding on the door of the dorm room* Get outta there!
Zell C'mon, man!!!
Squall *quiet as a mouse*
Zell S***! I wonder what he's doing in there.
Seifer . . .frankly Scarlet, I don't give a damn. u.u;
Squall FINE! Don't buy your tights at the Gap and see how long they last!
Zell THE HELL?!
Seifer Where in the blue hell did that come from?
Squall *reading from a comedy script*
Squall Soon, this nightmare will be over and England will be safe again! Are you ready, Merry Men?!
Both . . .
Seifer I kinda figured there was a reason why he was always such a cold bastard.
Zell What's that? _;
Seifer Maybe he was in an insane asylum for 3 years to calm him down.
Zell WHATEVER!
Seifer And now he's back at it again.
Rinoa *enters the scene* Where is my Squall?
Seifer Sorry girl, loverboy's havin' some problemos in there, ya CAN'T SEE HIM.
Rinoa *grabs his nuts* You're not the judge around here.
Zell and Seifer O__O!!!!
Rinoa *innocent once again* Squall?
Squall .NOW WATCH AND MARVEL AS I KNOCK DOWN ALL THE BOBBY PINS!!!
Rinoa Squall, come out of there.
Squall WHY SHOULD I!? Man has a right to privacy, you know.
Rinoa But it's me. . .
Squall So?
Rinoa Don't you want to see me, Squall? It's me, Rinoa.
Squall BIG DEAL!
Rinoa *collapses in tears* I think he's been hitting on Quistis again. . .
Zell He never had the hots for her! She had the hots for him!
Rinoa Well. . .maybe. . .SHE'S BEEN FLIRTIN' WITH MY MAN! THAT TWO- TIMING B****!
Seifer Calm down, sweetheart.I'll always be there for you. *wraps his arms around Rinoa's neck*
Rinoa Don't touch me, you walking, talking, skin abrasion!
Zell She really told you, Seifer.XD
Rinoa *exits* I HATE YOU ALL!
Squall Mama had a chicken! Mama had a cow! Dad was proud! He didn't care how!
Seifer and Zell .
Squall *moments later* COOOOOWWWW!
Squall *a few more moments later* CHICKEN!
Seifer Zell.he's callin' you in there.
Zell *shoves up his fists and hops around, punching air* BRING IT!
-And the scene switches back to Fujin and Raijin.-
====================================================
Raijin I can't get the top off!
Fujin FORCE IT! *moan*
Fujin Raijin. . .RAIJIN!!!! *moans again* I'm. . .I'm going to DIE! Just GIVE it to me! Force it, force it! WORK IT!!!! *scream*
Raijin I'm TRYING!
-And, back to Irvine and the gang.-
====================================================
Quistis I wanna know what the hell is going on!
Selphie So do I, but we don't get to know, do we?
Irvine *comes over and wraps his arms around them both, getting a little too buddy-buddy for Quistis's taste* Come now, ladies. just know that Irvine is here and you're all safe.
Quistis *walks a bit away, annoyed*
Selphie Aww. . .that's so sweet of you, Irvy!
Irvine *grin* It's REALLY nothing. . . -wraps around Selphie a little tighter-
Quistis Oh god. -_-;
Sephiroth *flies down through the ceiling with his masamune in the quad. Because the quad was. . .ya know. . .where they were.*
Irvine *walks off the stage with Selphie, looking like he's got business to do*
Sephiroth *flies face first into the stage, landing in a split position, the masamune shoved through the stage* . . .DAMN!
Quistis *-*!!!
Sephiroth Eh. . .hehehehe. . . ^_^;
Quistis Wow. . .what a guy. . . *_*!!!
-As we leave the scene, it looks like all of our characters have changed. . .greatly. . . in chapter two, some secrets will be unfolded, and some will remain. . .well. . . secret. As for Squall and Rinoa, well. . .their future is quite a mystery.-
====================================================
END OF CHAPTER ONE
Tell me what you think of chapter one. The rest will be coming soon.. D!
Don't you wish you could just UNDERSTAND it all? MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Weeeeeelllll! None of that will happen because. . .the weird writer has BEGUN.
Sad, isn't it? Well, here ya go. Here's my attempt at a funny Final Fantasy VIII ficcie. XD Reviews are wanted, good or bad. And no, I don't own FF7, that Japanese guy does. But you knew that. o.o()
====================================================
Squall -yawn- OH! WHAT A BEAUTIFUL SUNNY MORNING IT IS! I think I'll go outside and watch the lovely bluebirds sing and chirp outside the front gate!
Zell -pounds on the door- Hey man, you awake?
Squall -instantly collapses on the bed and pretends to be snoring-
Zell C'mon! I know you're awake in there! I heard you!
Squall Then why did you ask if I was awake.? HUH!?!
Zell Uhh. . .to be. . .erm. . .polite.
Squall YEAH RIGHT! HOW ABOUT YOU AND QUISTY GO GRAB A SPOON!
Zell Say WHAT?! HEY! You wanna go?!
Squall C'mon and try me! I HAVE MY FAITHFUL DOOR!!!
Zell The hell?!?!?! You feelin' okay this morning, Squall? o_O;;
Squall I feel. . .like a new man. . .!
Zell Well I bet it was a change for the WORSE! What's gotten into you!?
Seifer -just walking by- Hey chicken punk, what's up? XP
Zell Shut up! And I thought that was chicken wuss? _;
Seifer Ahh, screw it. I don't like chicken "wuss" anymore.
Zell .o_o;
*Weird noises such as a jackhammer, chickens squawking, a train signal, a cow mooing, and a car horn are heard inside Squall's dorm room, not to mention an insane hysterical laugh*
=================================================
Meanwhile.
*Moans, groans, and screams are heard inside Fujin's dorm.*
Fujin *moan* OHHHH!!! OHHHH!! Raijin. . .my body. . .my body! *scream*
Raijin FUJIN!!! GOD!!!!!
Fujin Raijin. . .give it to me! GIVE IT TO ME!!!
-We hear rowdy noises and the scene flips to Rinoa, Irvine, Quistis, and Selphie.-
====================================================
Kuja Ya'll gonna die now, hear?! NOW HAND OVER THE HERBAL ESSENCES OR YA'LL GONNA BE LYIN' ON THAT THERE FLOOR IF YA DON'T HAND IT OVER!!!
Selphie, Rinoa, and Quistis . . .O_O;;
Irvine JUST GIVE HIM THE BOTTLE! GIVE HIM THE DAMN BOTTLE! HE'S GOT A SPOON!!!!
Rinoa *reluctantly tosses a value size bottle of Herbal Essences over to Kuja*
Quistis We are sorry to have failed you, Garden!
Selphie And I didn't even get a chance to wash my hair with it.! You big ole meanie! UP YOURS, B@$^@%&!
Kuja POTTY MOUTH! *hiss* By the way, do you know why I'm here? O.o;
Irvine No, but we'd be kinda happy if ya LEFT!
Kuja Well. . .TOO BAD! I HAVE A SPOON! *holds up a large wooden mixing spoon*
Rinoa *gasp*
Selphie Irvy! Don't make him mad! He might torture us with it!
Kuja *runs over to the group of girls* That's right. . . *holds the spoon up to Selphie's neck* We wouldn't want things to get messy, would we? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *completely composes himself* Mhmm.
Quistis Oh no.Irvine.Selphie might---!!!
Selphie Irvy! Help me! Please! Just.do what he wants.
Rinoa Ahh, hell with all of you, I'm gonna go see what Squall's up to. *exits the scene*
Everyone . . .
Kuja Well, somebody didn't take their Midol this morning. HMPH! How dare she deny me!
Irvine Please. . .sir. . .let go of Selphie!
Kuja *in a childish way* NO!
Irvine Why. . .?
Kuja BECAUSE I SAID SO! XP!!
Selphie and Quistis *getting pretty scared* . . .o_o;;;
Quistis Sir.will you give the nice man the spoon? Please?
Kuja *shakes his head with an insane look on his face*
Quistis o_o; Well, um. . .how about, if we gave you. . .some shampoo?
Kuja . . .what kind? _;
Quistis Oh. well. um. how about a gift basket of Herbal Essences?
Kuja . . .with the body splash and the body poof, too? _!!
Selphie YES! YES! ANYTHING YOU WANT! JUST LET GO OF ME!
Kuja Okay. But if I don't get it by tomorrow, I'll be back! AHAHAHAHAHA!!! *poof, he's gone*
-And the scene switches back to Squall, Zell, and Seifer of course.-
====================================================
Seifer *pounding on the door of the dorm room* Get outta there!
Zell C'mon, man!!!
Squall *quiet as a mouse*
Zell S***! I wonder what he's doing in there.
Seifer . . .frankly Scarlet, I don't give a damn. u.u;
Squall FINE! Don't buy your tights at the Gap and see how long they last!
Zell THE HELL?!
Seifer Where in the blue hell did that come from?
Squall *reading from a comedy script*
Squall Soon, this nightmare will be over and England will be safe again! Are you ready, Merry Men?!
Both . . .
Seifer I kinda figured there was a reason why he was always such a cold bastard.
Zell What's that? _;
Seifer Maybe he was in an insane asylum for 3 years to calm him down.
Zell WHATEVER!
Seifer And now he's back at it again.
Rinoa *enters the scene* Where is my Squall?
Seifer Sorry girl, loverboy's havin' some problemos in there, ya CAN'T SEE HIM.
Rinoa *grabs his nuts* You're not the judge around here.
Zell and Seifer O__O!!!!
Rinoa *innocent once again* Squall?
Squall .NOW WATCH AND MARVEL AS I KNOCK DOWN ALL THE BOBBY PINS!!!
Rinoa Squall, come out of there.
Squall WHY SHOULD I!? Man has a right to privacy, you know.
Rinoa But it's me. . .
Squall So?
Rinoa Don't you want to see me, Squall? It's me, Rinoa.
Squall BIG DEAL!
Rinoa *collapses in tears* I think he's been hitting on Quistis again. . .
Zell He never had the hots for her! She had the hots for him!
Rinoa Well. . .maybe. . .SHE'S BEEN FLIRTIN' WITH MY MAN! THAT TWO- TIMING B****!
Seifer Calm down, sweetheart.I'll always be there for you. *wraps his arms around Rinoa's neck*
Rinoa Don't touch me, you walking, talking, skin abrasion!
Zell She really told you, Seifer.XD
Rinoa *exits* I HATE YOU ALL!
Squall Mama had a chicken! Mama had a cow! Dad was proud! He didn't care how!
Seifer and Zell .
Squall *moments later* COOOOOWWWW!
Squall *a few more moments later* CHICKEN!
Seifer Zell.he's callin' you in there.
Zell *shoves up his fists and hops around, punching air* BRING IT!
-And the scene switches back to Fujin and Raijin.-
====================================================
Raijin I can't get the top off!
Fujin FORCE IT! *moan*
Fujin Raijin. . .RAIJIN!!!! *moans again* I'm. . .I'm going to DIE! Just GIVE it to me! Force it, force it! WORK IT!!!! *scream*
Raijin I'm TRYING!
-And, back to Irvine and the gang.-
====================================================
Quistis I wanna know what the hell is going on!
Selphie So do I, but we don't get to know, do we?
Irvine *comes over and wraps his arms around them both, getting a little too buddy-buddy for Quistis's taste* Come now, ladies. just know that Irvine is here and you're all safe.
Quistis *walks a bit away, annoyed*
Selphie Aww. . .that's so sweet of you, Irvy!
Irvine *grin* It's REALLY nothing. . . -wraps around Selphie a little tighter-
Quistis Oh god. -_-;
Sephiroth *flies down through the ceiling with his masamune in the quad. Because the quad was. . .ya know. . .where they were.*
Irvine *walks off the stage with Selphie, looking like he's got business to do*
Sephiroth *flies face first into the stage, landing in a split position, the masamune shoved through the stage* . . .DAMN!
Quistis *-*!!!
Sephiroth Eh. . .hehehehe. . . ^_^;
Quistis Wow. . .what a guy. . . *_*!!!
-As we leave the scene, it looks like all of our characters have changed. . .greatly. . . in chapter two, some secrets will be unfolded, and some will remain. . .well. . . secret. As for Squall and Rinoa, well. . .their future is quite a mystery.-
====================================================
END OF CHAPTER ONE
Tell me what you think of chapter one. The rest will be coming soon.. D!