Carapace
Mersault has no color left in him now
if there was any to begin with
at the start-
tears are blue and white and clear
not
grey
so
no tears for Mersault.
Revelations bleed out from gunshot wounds
that hurt to much to handle though
they are not his
but
his
on the beach in the sun that looklooksLOOKS-
and will remember.
Grey blood
grey sand
the sun leaving
the world grey even
on the witness stand
where acceptance reeks like
failure.
Gregor was brown always
brown
even when he sold things
soft
green like
apples and red like
apples and even
yellow like apples
swathes of spring air locked
up in a brown brief
case.
Transit.
Apples like apples
cut
peel
embed
tear
not welcome in springtime
but
in the dank corners of deadening autumn
where you crawl as you were meant although
you cannot
know
that
(you only wanted that they be happy
you won, see, in that way)
We suppose.
And Stephen Dedalus was a burnt sienna
oh
Stephen was burnt
always from the beginning
when firefireFIRE then
empty
empty
y
and the first buds press through
the ash and they were
awakened by it.
uniform but tremulous hope
fills them
fills air
fills meristem
cells that divide
and specialize
to create something new
that breathes the world
yes and there's hope
yes.
Gregor sleeps and
Mersault sleeps
and
Stephen is well on his way to
sleeping.
Leaf litter
Decomposition
synthesizes into the new
more
perfect
man woman what-have-you
and one who
refuses to sleep or
to be grey or brown
or even
burnt
sienna
but blue red yellow green maybe purple
if time permits and wouldn't
it be lovely if it did.
Pulse in wrists necks
ankles thumbs
thrum of blood that knows what it
means to be harmonious and
to create that what is
harmonious
and not
perfect but
good.
It means something to blood
and flesh skin bone
because it has to or flesh would never
form and blood
would be on its
own and bone would
lie down in the
deep, deep
desert and
sleep in
the sleep of the bleached.
please
stop
sleeping
For the existentialist is he who fancies himself in tune with the heartbeat of the world
and can say that he knows what it means.