Notes --

Yes, a new fic from me … go figure.

About a third of the dialogue in this prologue is from the "Studio Make-out Session" episode on GH. The rest is all me. If you remember that episode, you'll recognize which is which.

I won't explain much else until a few chapters in, so that you all can get the feel of the story first. It should mostly explain itself though.

Hope you like it!

I don't own GH or the characters, just the crap I write. :P

The Art of Restoration

Prologue

June 2002

She couldn't believe it. Her sister and the boy she'd loved with all her heart; in bed together. And to add insult to injury, they were in the bed she used to share with him.

Elizabeth Webber was disgusted in a way that was hard to describe. It was more a churning in her stomach than a describable emotion. Walking in on them had been a shock, but more shocking was the numbness that followed.

Of course she was angry at first, and gave them both a tongue lashing to match. But after that there was the burn of betrayal, and then the slow ache that wouldn't go away.

That's the state she was in when Jason found her. It was almost like fate had brought him back to town after his long absence just when she needed him most.

Jason Morgan had been her rock through pain she never thought to live through. When nothing and no one could help or make it go away, he could. Now he was there once again when her heart was damaged over Lucky.

He immediately wanted to help, as always, and took her back to her art studio to escape the prying eyes of the town. She could express herself safely with him; never fear being judged or condescended to.

And that was exactly what she needed.

When they finally entered the small apartment, she could no longer hold in the emotions that bubbled beneath the surface.

She saw a painting sitting on her easel and went to it. It was one she'd been struggling to get right; now it just looked hideous. It was wrong, like everything else in her life. She grabbed it and held it clutched in her fingers; the wooden frame biting into them to the point of pain.

"This is so … it's just so, ugly! Ugh!"

She tossed it aside in frustration and went to her worktable, leaning against it a moment. The array of bottles filled with paint and art utensils scattered on it caught her attention. Her arms struck out and knocked them all to the floor. As she turned to find something else to destroy, she found Jason standing in front of her.

"Elizabeth …"

She lashed out at him in her anger. "Don't even tell me to calm down, okay?! Just don't."

"No, take your best shot. Rip this thing up!"

She noticed then that he was holding one of her blank canvases. He was the only person who would understand her need to lash out and try to help her instead of discourage it. The kindness of it deflated some of the energy she'd had and left her feeling weak and stupid.

"God, how can I be such an idiot? How could I believe Lucky … and Sarah, of all people? They both lied to me more than once, but did I think about that? Did I ever doubt them when they said they wouldn't get together? No, because I was too busy being a good sister for once in my life. God! God, what is wrong with me? Ugh."

Jason looked at her thoughtfully. "You wanted to believe them."

"No, I am just … I'm such an idiot."

"No you aren't," he said forcefully.

He hated seeing her in pain; even worse was her blaming herself for the actions of others. He had a sudden urge to find Lucky Spencer and beat the hell out of him for breaking her heart again.

"Oh, right! Oh, good little Elizabeth … loyal girlfriend, understanding ex-girlfriend. I have done everything right. I have played by every rule, and look where it got me."

What killed her wasn't so much Lucky and Sarah sleeping together. She'd resigned herself somewhat to the fact that he didn't love her anymore. It was more the humiliation of being discarded by two people so important to her. Her feelings didn't even seem to register with them on their way to bed.

She thought she'd been on her way to building an actual relationship with her sister for the first time. And she'd twisted herself up in knots trying to get Lucky to remember the love they shared.

Apparently it meant nothing to them.

"Why didn't I listen to you? Why was I so willing to shut myself down just to be with Lucky? I signed my life over to him. I wasted years waiting for Lucky to love me again, and for what? To find him in bed with my sister?"

"At least now you know the truth."

The sincerity in his eyes about undid her.

Jason tried to tell her to be true to herself so many times. She was the one dumb enough to confuse being true to herself with doing whatever made Lucky happy.

Elizabeth couldn't remember the last time she'd been truly happy with Lucky. The instances just got fewer and farther between until they were non-existent.

When she could remember being happy had more often involved Jason; when they would sit on the docks and talk about anything, or he'd take her for rides on his bike. But Lucky was jealous, so she soon denied herself even the pleasure of his friendship just to make her boyfriend happy.

Jason hadn't tried to change her mind, but he did give her a choice once.

She'd reluctantly begun to admit to herself that her feelings for Jason surpassed mere friendship. Seeing the slight shift in her, he'd offered to take her away from Port Charles. To show her the places she'd dreamed of as they sat in her studio long ago, looking at the travel books he read voraciously. They could see her beloved Italy first hand. He would take her wherever she liked, and stay or go depending on what she wanted. All she had to do was take his hand, and he'd open up the whole world to her.

But her loyalty to and love for Lucky held her back. It kept her from taking a leap that felt to far to fall from.

Still, the possibilities had stayed to haunt her long after he left town, alone. Everything fell apart with Lucky anyway, like Jason had probably predicted secretly.

Now she was stuck with pain and regrets.

"I wish I had gone away with you a long time ago …" she felt the need for contact and reached out for him, "hopped on your bike and never looked back."

Jason watched as her delicate hand traveled down his chest. He kept himself in check despite the effect it was having on him. There was something happening, but he wanted to know if they were feeling the same thing.

"What do you want?"

Elizabeth looked up into his striking blue eyes and felt heat reflect back to her. She was always so careful and restrained; and this new awareness he caused in her was scary, but exciting. For once she decided to just follow her instincts and say what she wanted.

"I want you."

Inspired by the sudden courage, she tentatively reached up and brought his face to hers in a kiss. It was the first time her lips had ever met his; at least in reality. She'd be lying if she said she'd never imagined it.

Her imagination was nowhere near this good though. The feel of his mouth against hers was like fire and magic. It was as if she could taste his strength and gentleness, all the things that made him Jason; and it made her feel whole for the first time.

Jason was surprised when she actually said she wanted him. He'd felt it before, wanted her too and wished for her to say it; but he gave up hope that it would happen.

As she stood there gazing at him, with her midnight blue eyes full of longing, he didn't dare move for fear he'd scare her off. He stayed still and waited for her to make the first move; to show him she wanted this as much as he did.

When she hesitantly kissed him, it was sweet and soft; like Elizabeth. He couldn't stop his hands from touching her then; from holding onto this moment and this feeling. They traveled slowly up her arms to peel the jacket from her shoulders. It fell to the floor as he pulled her closer to him. She helped remove his and they began to explore one another.

Elizabeth barely registered what was happening. She just let the sensations rule her actions. Her hands found their way beneath his shirt as his mirrored them on her.

Jason felt his skin vibrate as her fingers ran up his back. He grasped her face as their mouths mated. He found his every move dictated by the need to feel as much of her near him as possible. His hands pushed the straps of her shirt down; the silkiness of her shoulders teasing him with the promise of more to be revealed.

As she became bolder, Elizabeth kissed him with all the fervor she kept at bay for years. His tongue caressed her bottom lip and caused her to moan in his mouth.

The sound of her desire urged him to move them backwards to the couch he'd become so familiar with during his stay in the studio years ago. He coaxed her with kisses until his legs hit the cushion.

Elizabeth found herself falling atop Jason onto the couch, having been lost in his embrace. Her arms braced on the back as he continued to kiss her senseless. Soon she felt his strong hands graze up her sides beneath her top; the fabric gradually exposing more of her to his view.

The feel of air along her bare stomach as he went to remove it made her gasp with realization. Her mind snapped out of the smoky haze and into the present. She felt herself pulling away even before the thought fully formed in her mind.

"Oh, wait. Wait, wait. You know what? I'm … I'm sorry. I … this is unfair. I should never have asked you to come back here."

Jason had been caught up in the feel of her against him and suddenly was left with empty arms. He reached out instinctively, but let go when her voice broke through his lust filled mind. He could hear her apprehension. Somehow, he managed to absorb her words and respond.

"What's unfair? No one's lying. We both know what's really going on."

Elizabeth huffed in amazement at how calm and accepting he sounded, when most men would be angry.

"Yeah. I was just about to have sex with you because I'm furious with Lucky."

For some reason that statement didn't ring true to him. It felt like she was trying to dismiss her feelings as something more recognizable. Normally he would just listen as she worked out her feelings, but her ability to speak her mind earlier gave him the same power.

He got up from the couch and came towards her. "Are you sure that's why?"

She turned to him after scraping her mussed hair from her face. "What?"

"Are you sure that's why you were about to have sex with me?"

It wasn't like Jason to question her. He was always so adamant about people knowing their own feelings. He usually just listened and observed. This was new to her.

"What … What kind of question is that?"

Jason wasn't exactly sure where he was going with this, but it felt necessary.

"An important one." He recognized the truth in it as soon as he said it. "One that I'd really like the answer to."

She was so caught off guard by the question, nothing coherent came to mind.

"I … I don't know."

"I think you do." Jason was a bit uncomfortable with asking, but couldn't stop himself. He took a bracing breath and put his hands on his hips. "What did you feel when I touched you?"

"I … I felt …" The shock almost physically shook her. Almost tempted to answer just because he asked, she still caught herself. "I-It doesn't matter. The reasons it happened at all were wrong." She breathed out her anxiety to explain her thoughts. "Jason, I care about you. And if we … had sex … or make love or whatever you want to call it, I would want it to mean something. I'm not going to have sex with you just to get back at Lucky. I'm not going to ruin what you and I have because I'm angry with him."

He could hear the shy hesitation in her voice. She looked into his eyes and he saw her need for him to be okay.

"I understand."

"You do?"

"Yes." He smiled at the surprise in her voice. "I would never want you to do anything you're not comfortable with."

He would die before he'd ever hurt her in any way.

She sighed in relief that he didn't hate her for stopping what was happening. "Thank you."

"But I don't think you were about to have sex with me to get back at Lucky." His eyes became serious as he spoke. "That's not who you are. You wouldn't use me that way, any more than I would use you. Lucky was the reason you stopped. I just want to be clear on that."

"What do you mean?"

Jason tried to think of a way to clearly convey it to her. "To answer that question, you'd have to answer the one I asked. What did you feel when I touched you?"

"I felt … I really don't know." Her mind felt more jumbled as time went on; conflicting emotions swirling about inside her.

"Let me help you." He took the couple of steps necessary so that he was standing directly in front of her. "When I stand this close to you, what do you feel?"

He could see her tensing with concentration and wanted to calm her. She needed to relax to get what he meant.

"Don't think so hard." He took her hands in his and took a visible deep breath. She took the hint and followed suit, her shoulders coming down some in an easy posture. "Just tell me the first thing that comes to mind."

Elizabeth looked in his eyes and found the answer to be easier than she thought. "I feel … safe, warm, like nothing could hurt me."

It had been that way since the night he rescued her from drowning in pain at Jake's bar. When Jason was with her, it was like nothing bad could touch her. There was no boogeyman in the closet, no monsters under the bed; she was safe and free.

She gasped when his hand came up to caress her neck, trailing slowly down over her bare arms to hold them firmly; his thumbs stroking the sides.

"And when I touch you … like this?"

She took another breath so she could articulate it. Her eyes closed so she could concentrate on his touch without the distraction of his intense gaze.

"I feel … warm … like my skin is … tingling where your hands are."

When his voice came again, she felt herself tremble from the depth of it.

"And when I kiss you … like this?"

Jason stepped closer once more. His hand slid back from her arm to her face, cupping her cheek softly. His lips captured hers, with just enough pressure to make his heart race, but not to escalate the relaxed nature of his questioning.

"What do you feel then?"

He almost groaned when he saw her lick her lips unconsciously after his kiss. Her teeth caught briefly on her bottom lip before releasing it.

"Like … like I don't want you to stop."

He grinned at her answer. "You know what?"

"What?" she asked dreamily, still mesmerized by the lingering feel of his lips on hers.

"Not once did you mention Lucky."

Her eyes snapped open at the change of subject. "I didn't?"

"No. That's what I meant about Lucky being the reason you stopped. When we were kissing and about to make love," he emphasized exactly which it would be between them, "Lucky wasn't on either of our minds. But when you realized where it was heading, you stopped feeling and started thinking. Then the guilt crept in … that's how Lucky stopped you."

She bit her lip again and looked downward. He had this strange way of making her see things in new ways.

"I didn't think of it like that."

He tipped her chin up to him.

"Elizabeth … look at me. I wasn't trying to embarrass you, or tell you what you were feeling. I just wanted you to know what I felt from you when we kissed. I didn't feel like Lucky had anything to do with it. I kissed you because I want you. It's been building for a long time between us. And I … I just couldn't let you convince yourself Lucky was the reason."

The weight of that truth made him drop his head and his release her hands from his.

"Jason … I …"

"It's okay." He shook his head to stop any apologies he knew she was likely to make. "I wasn't trying to change your mind. I just … I wanted you to know it was … more. And it did mean something."

They stared at each other for a long moment. The feelings between them still simmered, but neither was sure of what to do with them.

Jason decided to take the pressure off by leaving her to think about what she really wanted. Though she was technically free, something was holding her back from acting on anything she might feel for him. If they were ever together, he didn't want there to be any doubt in her mind that it had nothing to do with Lucky.

He picked his leather jacket up from the floor and put it on. "I'm going to go."

Suddenly pulled out of her thoughts Elizabeth couldn't think of anything to respond with. "Oh … okay."

"Do you need a ride home or anything?"

She smiled at his inability to be anything but a gentleman, even after she left him … wanting.

"Um, no. I think I'll stay and paint for a while."

After she said it, she thought it might be a good idea. It usually helped to clear her head. But it was so full to bursting, it occurred to her that might be a lot to expect.

Jason kissed her forehead chastely. Any other contact might keep him from leaving. "Goodnight Elizabeth."

Though she welcomed the opportunity to think, she felt disappointment settle in her stomach. "Goodnight Jason."

He nodded and headed to the door. As he opened it, he couldn't help but keep the figurative door open for what started here to continue. He turned to her once more.

"But just so you know … you can always change your mind, again."

With a quick grin, he closed the door behind him.

Elizabeth closed her mouth when she realized it was open. The thud of the heavy door closing having shook her from her reaction to his words.

Not quite knowing what to do with herself, she started by cleaning up the mess she'd made earlier in her anger. It seemed a lifetime ago that they'd come in. The hurt over seeing Lucky and Sarah together had dulled, replaced with the jumble of emotions Jason evoked with his hands and mouth.

She shook her head to clear her mind of the memory, continuing to set her studio to rights. Once it was back to a semblance of order, or as much as that was for any artist, she pulled a fresh canvas from the closet and placed it on the easel.

After deciding on a few base colors to start with, she prepared a palette and stood in front of the blank surface. Unfortunately she had a blank mind to match.

No, that wasn't quite right. Her mind was blank of ideas to put on canvas, but full of ideas brought on by her encounter with Jason. If she tried to paint them, they wouldn't be fit for public consumption.

She sighed with exhaustion as she thought of what her restraint had stopped earlier. When she was brave and uninhibited, she was rewarded with her first kiss from Jason. And it was one of the best moments of her life. Her lips still felt full and soft from being taken so thoroughly.

She closed her eyes and allowed herself to relive it. In an uncharacteristic show of spontaneity, she dipped her brush in a random color and put it on the canvas. Her hand was guided by her feelings and memories of Jason being there with her. When she sensed the brush was again bereft of color she'd dip it into another dollop of paint.

This continued until the scene had played a couple of times in her mind, and then began to continue past what actually occurred; led by her imagination. As she saw the two of them moving together without the constraints of clothing, her eyes opened. Widening in shock, they took in what her sudden improvisation had produced.

Elizabeth had never been much for abstract art, per se. Most of it left her feeling like Jason did; like it was a bunch of lines and colors that made no sense. Therefore, she hadn't tried it much herself. But what she saw had the power to change her mind.

That's what it looked like. Power.

There were sweeps of color and sharp edges, swirls that looked as if they could move in a certain light. It looked … alive.

This was what she'd always been trying so desperately to capture. Freedom. The closest she'd come to it was her painting of the wind she made for Jason; her attempt to capture what the world looked like from the back of his motorcycle.

Jason. He was the common denominator. She felt free with him, she painted free when she thought of him; he was her freedom.

Maybe that's why everything she'd done lately felt bland and wrong. Her life was bland and wrong when she tried so desperately to please everyone but herself. She tried to make Lucky happy, to get along with Sarah, to make her Gram proud, to be the perfect friend and student, to paint something other people would like … and her own feelings didn't rate.

No wonder Lucky and Sarah didn't think about her feelings when they slept together. Why should her feelings matter to them when they didn't even matter to her?

She looked up again at the living, breathing thing she'd created from a blank canvas, and aspired to become it; to live it. She put down the palette and went over to the mirror on the wall. Somehow she felt different, and oddly enough wanted to see of she looked it.

It was the same Elizabeth who was always there, but more. The words Jason said to her earlier played again in her mind.

"I just … I wanted you to know it was … more."

That's what she was with him; happier, freer, more courageous, more … herself.

Why was she so willing to give up that incredible feeling from being with him, just because people told her to?

She needed to stop living for them and start living for herself.

Jason stood at the window to his balcony, looking out over the city. He absently took a long pull from the beer in his hand. When he drained it, the empty bottle joined the other two on the edge of his pool table.

He wasn't drunk, not on three beers; just feelin' it.

He'd come home not too long ago after riding most of the night. The wind usually helped to clear his mind, but tonight Elizabeth was too present in his thoughts for it to do any good. Being on his bike only seemed to remind him more of her ever since the first ride he gave her. He would hear the sound of her excited shouts as they'd take sharp turns and feel her arms tightening around his waist.

Now he had a new memory to torture himself with. Finally he'd been able to taste her, to show her how he felt; and yet again Lucky was the stumbling block to it being anything more.

Or so Elizabeth tried to tell herself.

He knew she thought kissing him had to do with her anger over Lucky, and maybe it did. But he wasn't the reason she kept kissing him.

Jason felt her reaction to him; the response, the reciprocation. Lucky was nowhere in that moment; and he couldn't let her believe otherwise.

He'd been in competition with Lucky for her even before he realized his feelings were more than friendship; back when he was just a ghost between them. But she was convinced that the little jerk was her one and only; no matter how many times he hurt her. It drove Jason crazy how she would turn herself inside out to please him and ignore her own wants, needs, and dreams.

He didn't want the first time they'd expressed how much they cared about each other to in any way be associated with that … kid.

There was no doubt in his mind that he wanted more than just friendship with her, but she had to want it too. He wouldn't push his own agenda on her, or give her any ultimatums. He would always be her friend and be there for her if she ever needed him; even if she went back to Lucky.

The thought still burned in his gut like acid. He hoped for her sake that someday she would realize how amazing she was and want more for herself than what Lucky offered. If it meant someone new, so be it.

Mostly he just wanted her to be happy. He wanted to see her smile the way she did when she was free. She deserved nothing less than everything the world had to give her.

That he wanted to share it with her wasn't as important.

If he could just forget her taste …

He was staring out at the city lights when he heard a light knock on the door. It was so faint he thought he'd imagined it, until it happened again.

He turned to look at it and pushed off from the wall he was leaning against. Crossing the living room he wondered who would come by so late. The only answers he could come up with were Sonny or Carly; Sonny on business, or Carly on her latest crisis.

He then took both off the list; knowing Sonny would bang on the door and Carly wouldn't bother to knock at all, she'd just barge in.

This made him even more surprised when he saw who was there.

"Elizabeth."

"Jason …"

They stood a long moment, simply taking each other in.

Elizabeth blinked to break the spell she found herself under at just the sight of him. She still couldn't believe she'd gathered the courage to come to him. It was so unlike her, that it was a little frightening.

Yet it was the most right thing she'd done in a long time.

Now that she was here, she wasn't going to chicken out. She pictured the painting left drying on her easel; drawing power from the abandon in it. Then she stepped forward into the warmth that surrounded Jason. Looking up into his face she noticed a hint of surprise and a glimmer of hope.

It was just enough to push her past the leftover hesitation.

She lifted a hand to touch his face; instinctively running her fingers over the lips that had brought her to this moment. Lifting up to him, she placed a soft kiss on them.

It felt like they were the only two people in the world as they stood just inside the doorway of the darkened penthouse. There was no chorus of voices telling them to stay away from each other, how they didn't fit into each other's world; just the sound of their hearts beating out the truth.

They only belonged when they were together.

Elizabeth wrapped her fingers into the fabric of his shirt; as much to keep her balance as to bring him closer. When she could hold back no longer, she looked into his eyes and spoke the words she'd been thinking since she left her studio.

"I changed my mind."

Needing to hear nothing more, Jason pulled her into him with one arm and shut the door behind them.

To be continued …