Note From The Author—I honestly don't know what it is with stories hitting me at like midnight while I'm trying to get to sleep and have to be up in five hours. It would probably be a lot better for me if I could resist the temptation to write and just waited 'til the morning, but I'm always terrified I'll lose the wording or the inspiration so here I am with, oh, four and a half hours until I have to be up for a class, putting this story down. I hope you enjoy the fruits of my late night labor and that I'll be awake enough to appreciate the story rather than despise it for lack of sleep in the morning : ) Also, it was inspired by the Sugarland song Want To
Disclaimer—I do not own the characters of CSI: NY or the products I mention in this chapter. I also don't own the song the story was inspired by, that belongs to Sugarland
After two earth shattering days Flack was having a hard time believing that everything hadn't just been a dream; it certainly seemed as if he had yet to wake. He stood with a mug of coffee in his hands. The coffee he'd dosed with a healthy amount of Bailey's to help bring back the warmth that had been chased away when he'd left the bed and the comfort of her arms.
Never in his wildest fantasies had he imagined the glorious sight that was laid out before him. Turned to face the wall with the sheets dipping and clinging to silky skin, the elegant expanse of her back was left enticingly bare. Stella Bonasera was like a Boticelli come to life, and he was floored by the fact that this beautiful creature was laying in his bed.
As he took another warming sip of his coffee, he couldn't help but think back on the past few days. They had stumbled bleary eyed an exhausted into his apartment at two am Saturday morning. He couldn't seem to remember why he'd suggested she come to his place or why she had accepted the offer; he only knew that he had planned on giving her first choice on sleeping arrangements then collapsing on either the floor or the couch and sleeping for days. Instead they had tumbled into bed together, and Flack woke later that day with Stella in his arms and looked around to find the carnage of two outfits, with ripped clothing lying atop buttons that were scattered all over the bedroom.
She woke up soon after and since then they hadn't stepped foot outside the apartment. They had rarely left the bedroom and spent their time making love and talking about anything and everything that came to their minds. They called out for food and ate in bed, laughing and acting like newlyweds. Now it was late Sunday night; tomorrow morning she would go home, they would both go back to work, and in the fading afterglow Flack couldn't help but wonder where they would go from there.
Sighing, he ran a hand over his hair. He knew he was torturing himself, watching her and wondering like this. With one final lingering look and fingers itching to touch, he retreated to the kitchen. Settling against the kitchen counter, he squeezed his eyes shut and tried not to think about the ifs. Try as he might, he couldn't fight off the questions. He'd been waiting for years for a chance with Stella, and truth be told it wasn't an opportunity he ever thought he would have.
Now she'd given him this amazing gift, and he knew that if they were looking at a one time deal it would bring him to his knees. There wasn't even the slightest chance that he'd be able to make a clean break. Having held her and made love to her he was certain that he'd never be able to chase her from his thoughts; he didn't want to.
He swore softly to himself. Deciding he needed another drink he stood, and when he turned found himself face to face with the object of his ruminations. Clad in nothing but one of his oversized NYPD t-shirts, she was a wondrous sight to behold. He couldn't resist the urge to skim his eyes from the tips of her toes, up the unfathomably long legs and thigh skimming shirt, to her face. Her eyes were slumberous; her hair tumbled around that goddess' face of hers, and she smiled when their eyes met.
"You looked so serious," she told him.
Don nodded. "I was thinking about some pretty serious things." He set his coffee cup down on the counter and crossed to her, pulling her into his arms and bringing his lips to hers for a sultry kiss.
They pulled apart and Stella wandered into the kitchen to pour herself some coffee, adding the same treatment he had earlier. "And what had you thinking so seriously?"
He'd never been in this position before; but then nobody had ever mattered as much as she did before. Worrying over his words, he settled in the same stool he'd vacated only moments before. "What happens tomorrow morning Stell?"
"We wake up and go to work," she told him, very matter of fact.
"That's not what I meant and you know it." He couldn't help but smile at her excellence at stepping around things when she wasn't sure of an answer.
She turned to face him. "I don't know Don. I guess that's something we have to decide together."
"Okay, well here's what I'm thinking. The way I see it we've got two options here Stell. Either we leave here the way we showed up, take what we had these past few days and walk away clean. Or, we recognize that we've got something that clicks here, and we move forward together instead of alone."
"I've always wondered how everything seems so simple to you," she whispered.
Flack shook his head. "Nothing about this is simple, there's too many emotions and what ifs wrapped up in it to make this easy, but I know that we need to figure something out; and I know what I want. But what do you want Stell?"
Stella pushed her hair back from her face, abandoning her coffee cup as she came to stand in front of him. "It would be easy, so easy, to just walk away from this. You've made me feel things that have my heart going crazy; but I've also seen a lot, and my brain is whispering that I should run. So it would be so simple to just take the past couple of days and make a break."
"This is usually where a but comes in, and I hope the same is true here." He reached out and rested his hands on her hips, pulling her gently to stand between his legs. "Is there a but here?"
Her eyes sparkled with a hint of humor. "But… I don't want to walk away from this Don. I don't want to walk away from you."
He brought his hands up to softly cradle her face. "I was hoping you'd say that." He kissed her sweetly. "I want you Stell, all of you, in every way."
"I'm all in here Don, but I'll tell you up front that it scares the hell out of me."
"You think it doesn't scare the hell out of me too?" he questioned. "If it didn't scare us out of our minds it wouldn't be the real deal."
Stella was smiling when she leaned down to him, and as their lips met the worries faded into the background until all that was left was him and Stella, surrounded by the heady mist of something amazing and new.
