So this came without warning...but I like the story, so here it is xD I'm still writing Pop 101 and all that...this is the reason for the delay (a good one, I think xD)

This story is very near and dear to my heart because it is the KuroFai adaptation of an original that I wrote a long time ago and never finished. Hopefully this story will see an end.

**Warning: This is Rated M for a reason. Don't like yaoi? Boy/Boy? Then get out of Dodge. :3

Chapter Quote comes from City of Glass by Cassandra Clare.

Please leave a review! I love to read them; they tell me what I need to do to make the story better and more enjoyable for you! :3

With that, I hope you have a good week! ^.^

Part the First: Our Last Dance

xxxxxxx

"I belong to you. You could do anything you wanted with me and I would let you. You could ask anything of me and I'd break myself trying to make you happy. My heart tells me this is the best and greatest feeling I have ever had. But my mind knows the difference between wanting what you can't have and wanting what you shouldn't want. And I shouldn't want you.
All night I've watched you sleeping, watched the moonlight come and go, casting its shadows across your face in black and white. I've never seen anything more beautiful. I think of the life we could have had if things were different, a life where this night is not a singular event, separate from everything else that's real, but every night."

-Cassandra Clare, City of Glass

xxxxxxx

"There are only two things that will truly set my father off: a man falling in love with another man and comitting suicide."

Once upon a time never had appealed to me. I mean, there was always that prince guy that came and saved everyone in the end...a hero that magically appeared when he was needed the most. That was great and all; if it made a girl sleep better at night or something, then I didn't want to burst her bubble or hurt her. I wouldn't tell her the truth, but go on pretending that there were heroes.; that I was that hero that was coming on a shining white horse, looking like a damn fool with a stupid looking cape or something.

Yeah, right; anyone who knew me knew that I wasn't a cape kind of guy. I wasn't anyone's hero, either. I was a prince: a person who would occupy the throne when my time came. I would become the face of the country, the person that everyone looked up to. Why anyone would ever look up to a royal person, I didn't understand, but it wasn't like it was something that I could change. There was no point in trying to change anything. Life would just continue on as it had the days before, leaving you lost and afraid of every moment because you were too stuck in the past, trying to clutch on to pieces of something that was completely gone.

I'd had this toy once; I was so damn in love with the thing that it never left my side. I think that it was some kind of toy horse or something...I loved pretending it was alive, making it sail across the room as it rode off with me on grand adventures. I would save our country from destruction, marry the princess, and end up being loved by everyone. It really sucked when I grew up and found out that this wasn't what a prince was at all – most of the time, it was paperwork and strategizing. A price didn't really set foot on the battlefield; he sat in a damn classroom all the time, trying to learn math, physics, geometry, and whatever else the royal tutors wanted you to learn.

I'd never made the mistake of asking about when I was going to battle with some great enemy, like all the characters in the books that my mom had read to me when I was little. That wasn't real life. Reality was just a huge disappointment that I was trying to survive, just like everyone else. In the end, I would die – there would be no great adventure, no storybook ending.

That just depressed the hell out of me.

There was only one person that ever made me feel like I had a chance at attaining happiness was my older brother, Kaisei. Now, he wasn't a perfect brother at all – in fact, he was a dick for the first few years of my life. Cold, grumpy, angry, and always pitching some kind of fit about his princely duties as first in line to the throne, my brother had been the person I'd always avoided. I didn't want to mess with a guy thoroughly trained in the art of swordsmanship...who also apparently hated my guts.

But one day, everything changed. I would always remember it – I was eleven, and he had to go to this stupid party thing for the prince of our neighboring country, Celes, to show that he didn't hate everyone. I remembered how he'd complained and begged not to go, and the shouting match that he'd gotten into with our dad...how he'd almost been shoved into the carriage and dragged off the two hour ride to the border. I had expected that he was going to raise hell when he got home, taking it out on anything that was in his way, so I had hid in my room that night.

The yelling I was waiting for never came. I just thought that Kaisei was staying the night without telling anyone as a way of sticking it to our dad, but when I entered the dining hall the next morning, there my big brother was, bearing a grin that seemed to outshine the entire world.

'I still wish I could smile like that.' I thought, sighing as I tried to pay attention to what my father was saying. Often, my thoughts wandered back to those days...to the days when everything was okay, when Kaisei had been-

"Kurogane! Are you listening to me?"

I nodded on impulse, realizing too late that my father was actually serious. "Of course." I muttered, trying to keep the sarcasam from my voice. "I just didn't catch that last part."

The king growled at me, looking like he was about to toss me out the nearest window. I didn't care; I wanted him to do it. That would be better than listening to him drone on about more things that I didn't give two shits about.

"Today is your seventeenth birthday, Kurogane! You have come of marriageable age, and you have made no preparations for any one bride. How am I supposed to find you a proper queen if you haven't reached out to any of the young ladies in the realm?"

I wanted to shove that stupid monacle up my dad's ass, but I decided to keep quiet. "I've made friends like you said. I just don't like any of them...that way." I muttered, looking down at my feet. I didn't have many companions; most of my time was spent alone, staring out windows or practicing swordplay. I wasn't the friendliest guy ever, but I thought that I was doing okay. My best friends weren't of noble blood...well, most of them. There was one exception, a girl that I kept praying dad wouldn't bring up-

"What about Tomoyo-chan? She's a nice girl, a princess in fact! Not to mention that our countries are trading partners – it couldn't be a better arrangement!" My father threw his hands up in the air, a product of his exasparation. "You don't have to marry for love, Kurogane! For goodness sake, if you don't feel anything for her, then struggle through it for the good of your country!"

"My country would be better off with me as a single ruler." I looked my father straight in the eyes, seeing how he visibly flinched at that comment. "That's what you said to Kai, wasn't it?"

There was a long pause in which my father took a deep breath, sighing. "Kurogane...,"

"Don't." Running a hand through my short hair, I expelled a short breath, trying to quell my anger. "Why can't I be by myself if he had to?"

"You are not your brother!"

The words thundered through the nearly-empty throne room, making me wince. Dad never lost control like that – he always said that a king had to keep it together, a king had to be strong, he had to never show that he wasn't okay. That just proved what I had suspected all along; he wasn't as unaffected by Kai's death as he tried to seem. I couldn't find it within myself to take pity on him. It was his fault, after all.

Kaisei was dead because my father was an asshole. I would never forget or forgive that.

There was a beat of silence before either of us spoke again. My father cleared his throat and ran a hand through his graying hair, looking at me. "You're not Kaisei. You are expected to marry. That is the end of the story." His words were like a steel wall slamming down on my future. I opened my mouth to complain, but my father turned his head; I had been dismissed, and trying to argue the point further was pointless.

I growled low in my throat, storming from the room. Servants in the hall stared as I clenched my fists and grit my teeth, wanting to systematically destroy everything before me. I saw shared glances as I rushed past; they all knew what had gone down. It wasn't hard to figure out. I was always pissed off after I'd gone to meet my dad. He just had that effect on me. We would never get along, nor would we be able to understand one another. I was just endlessly trying to do as he commanded before I took the throne...before I became the king of Nihon and changed everything.

My father ruled his empire with an iron grip. He suppressed trade, suppressed religion, suppressed the economy...just bound the people to him in general. There was nothing that could go on here without the king's seal of approval, including my activities and schedule. It was really freaking annoying; I mean, come on. He didn't have to look into the marriage affairs of his subjects, now did he? And it was a widely known fact that he was much harder to get a marriage license from if the partners were both male or female. Same for a birth registration; some babies of same-sex couples were usually denied citizenship. There were a whole array of things that my father did unfairly, and most of it stemmed back to what had happened on the fateful night my brother had died.

There were only two things that would really piss my dad off: loving somebody that was your same gender and committing suicide. Unfortunately, my brother Kaisei had done both of these things; even in death, my father only regarded him as a bastard who had directly gone against his will and had betrayed the crown. He hadn't even been given a proper funeral! Kaisei's grave was on the outskirts of the city, in a little shrine that had only been put there to shut me up when I'd realized just how unfairly my brother had been treated.

No one remembered Kaisei anymore; no one but me. He was just as dad wished him to be: forgotten, alone, and hated by those who did remember him. My father didn't want anyone to look at him with kindness...which was why he was so pissed at me all the time. And just to piss him off more, I would guilt trip him.

'Today was the first day that he actually lost it in front of me.' I thought, my angry pace beginning to slow. I hadn't really thought about where I was going; without realizing it, I was heading for the training room, where all of the weapons were. My dad hadn't thought that I would spend so much time here, because Kaisei hadn't; they both had valued learning over fighting. I, however, was different. A good sword could speak as well as words in my opinion, and a king needed to know how to use it. I wasn't going to lead any army into battle without doing some real combat myself – that was for damn sure.

If Kaisei had known how to handle a sword, he could have just killed our damn father and claimed his throne instead of letting his despair consume him. He probably still would have been alive today, actually, though dad always said that his death was because of his weakness, not because of what had happened between them. The king never did know how to admit he was wrong. If he had, I would have been able to forgive him.

As usual, Rikuou was standing in the middle of the ring, a throwing knife perfectly balanced between his index and middle fingers. I watched as he eyed the target; with a seemingly delicate flick of his wrist, the blade had sunk deep into the target's heart, centered right on the bullseye. There was nothing less to be expected from the general of the Nihon Military; he was amazing at anything he attempted to do.

"Rikuou." I called, a greeting between the two of us. The male's dark eyes flashed to my own red irises, a nod of his head signaling that he wasn't busy.

"Kurogane-sama. I didn't think that I was going to see you here today." The male bowed, ignoring my sigh of annoyance and constant requests to just call me Kurogane simultaneously. "Your father summoned you, didn't he? Are you already done with whatever it was that he wanted?"

"I guess. He just called me in there to chew me out about not having a wife yet." I strolled down to the floor, taking a beautifully crafted practice katana. "I've got a year to pick a girl before he picks one for me, is what he says."

Rikuou had already taken his knife out of the target, and had picked up another one on the way over to me. Our rhythm was easy, practiced; he knew exactly what I needed right now, and that was a distraction from the situation at hand. He knew that I just wanted to beat the shit out of something...or have the shit beaten out of me, which was probably going to happen given the scattered quality of my thoughts.

"Are you going to try and find someone?" The noirette asked, beginning to circle me with a trained eye. His hair was medium length; long enough to get in his eyes. I always wondered how the hell he could see where he was going, never mind the fact that he could fight better than ten men on a bad day, with bangs always flying in his face like that. But somehow he managed...though I suspected that he only kept them like that because a certain palace healer liked it...

Rikuou lunged, and I met it perfectly, the clash of metal on metal reverberating through my chest. "Well...I don't know." My voice was strained as I sliced my sword to the left, ducking down and sweeping my foot out to try and knock him down. Of course, it didn't work. "I was thinking that I would just ask Tomoyo, since she's my friend and all...I don't see any suitors that she likes asking her, but-,"

"That wouldn't be a wise choice." Rikuou recovered from guarding against me, twisting around like a snake as he lunged for me again. I barely darted to the side in time; he could tell that I was distracted, and he was using it against me. 'Bastard.' I thought, gritting my teeth and trying to think about what to do. He always had these stupid conversations when we fought; it was supposed to teach me how to multitask or something, but I never learned. I wanted to concentrate fully on the battle...not my many problems at hand.

"And why...is...that?" I managed, slashing my sword. It clanged against the throwing knives loudly, the force of my attack not enough to get them out of Rikuou's hands. The idiot was damn good at what he did – I never stood a chance. I hadn't beaten him in all the time that I had known him...yet, like an idiot, I kept coming back for more. I didn't know why I was like that...the moron who still had some kind of hope when everything else was gone. I was the fool that always believed that something could still happen, even when it was impossible.

Even to this day, I still believed that Kaisei would walk through the front gates, asking where I was and why the hell I hadn't managed to become the king yet.

Before I knew what was happening, a rough hand pushed against my chest. The Katana went flying out of my hands; I hit the floor, hard, wincing as the back of my head cracked against hard marble. When I opened my eyes, the cold tip of the hunting knife was against my throat, glinting wickedly in the light from the lamps scattered around the training arena floor.

"You don't want that." Rikuou said softly, watching my eyes from his place over me. "You haven't fought so distractedly in weeks; obviously you don't think that's the right choice, or you wouldn't be thinking about it so much."

The noirette drew back, sighing as he tossed the knives carelessly into their bin. I sat up a little, moaning at the pain in my back, neck, and head. I wanted to just ignore what he had said...to pretend that he wasn't right, that he didn't know what the hell he was talking about...but I knew Rikuou. I couldn't fool myself; his word was gold to me. He was second only to my deceased brother, smarter than I would ever be and twice as humble. He was a man that I strived to be like. If he said that my gut feeling was right, then I had no reason to think he was wrong.

"I would ask Tomoyo-sama if she would like your hand in marriage...but there's no way that she's going to agree to that. Her father would have to demand that she did it before she would even consider thinking about something like that. Even then, she probably would not-,"

"I know." I muttered, slowly getting up from my place on the floor. "I know it's a stupid idea. But I would rather spend the rest of my life with my friend than some girl I'm just going to breed with." I sighed, rubbing the tender part of the back of my neck. "Not everyone is as lucky as Kazahaya and you are."

At the mention of his partner, Rikuou's face softened. He was always like that whenever the kid was in the room, or even brought up in conversation. He was totally in love with that guy, and everyone could tell. Kazahaya was the only one that made him soft, vulnerable. He was Rikuou's only weakness...though I had no idea what the hell the general saw in that guy. Kazahaya was a loud, whiny brat that would always complain when he had to work. He only knew what the hell he was doing, only had the freaking job because Rikuou helped him along. I didn't think that the idiot had ever done anything for himself.

A warm hand came down on my shoulder, and I found Rikuou looking at me, his eyes filled with sympathy. "It takes time. We didn't come together overnight; neither will you."

I knew that he was right, that if I wanted to find love I was going to need time...but to be honest, I didn't have faith in love anymore. I'd lost it when Kaisei had sacrificed his life for the love that had defined it. Love only lead to destruction in my opinion. Besides, my father would never approve of anyone I picked. Certainly not if it turned out to be another guy.

"I'll try." I muttered, shaking my head. "You think Kazahaya would actually look at this, or is he just going to tell me to be a man?"

Rikuou laughed softly, shrugging his shoulders. "You never know. Maybe I should go put him in a good mood first."

Their happiness was so simple. It wasn't contained, wasn't defined by anything. It just was. It was the love that I wanted to have one day...the love that I coveted even though I told myself I didn't. "Yeah...I'd like this to just heal and be done with." I muttered, watching Rikuou's back as he retreated to go find his lover. They were so lucky...so damn lucky. They could do whatever the hell they wanted. They weren't bound by rules.

Picking up my katana, I spent the next hour practicing until I was dizzy and stumbling from the pain in my head, trying to carve the emotions out of my heart and splatter them all over the walls. I didn't think that the one for me would ever come...that I would be stuck in this void forever. If Kaisei couldn't get his happy ending, then how the hell could I expect to get one?

Oddly enough, I was going to get my answer sooner than I ever could have imagined.

xxxxxxx

I had learned long ago that, if Rikuou was going to go put Kazahaya in a good mood, the best policy was to wait a good thirty minutes. When that window was up, I slowly began walking to the infirmary. The brown haired, green eyed ball of spazz seemed to live here when he wasn't with Rikuou; his life's passion was helping people, apparently, though I didn't know how they could stand his incesant talking and the way that he freaked out when he was overwhelmed.

Why Rikuou would go out with the Spazz was beyond me, but I didn't tell him that. He was beyond happy, apparently...which was good for them, because they had to keep their relationship on the down low from my dad. Hiding something like that had to be worth it for them to go to all the trouble of seeing each other in secret, only sharing stolen moments with one another. If they were found out, they would certainly be fired...perhaps even punished.

I sighed, closing my eyes for a moment as I neared the infirmary. Everything in this country seemed to be messed up. It ran okay...but no one could do as they pleased without my father's stamp of approval. It was all drastically skewed in favor of the heterosexual members of our society who had white skin. He often made fun of me because I was darker than most of the people in his kingdom (a fact that he attributed to my mother's 'heathen' family). He wasn't a good king- he was a dictator, an opressor.

'One day, I'll stop him. I'll make sure that this place can be free of all the crap that my dad's been putting on the people for the last few years.'

That promise had been in my head since the night that Kaisei had given his life. Never again would I watch a brother or a close friend die because they could never truly be with the one that they loved the most. I would make sure of it.

Approaching Kazahaya's cave, I found the door to be closed. That immediately set off alarm bells in my head – they never closed that door. I supposed that they had to have closed it when they were using the infirmary for their own...personal needs, but I hadn't thought that those two would be in there for so long. I mean, how long did it take to...do that with someone?

'Okay, bad question.' I thought, a shudder running down my spine. Kazahaya and Rikuou in the throes of passion was definitely not something that I wanted to see. It wasn't like I'd never seen anything like that before (I'd seen some rather inappropriate moments growing up coming from Kaisei and his lover)...but that didn't mean that I really wanted to watch anyone doing that kind of thing again.

"They're in a safer place now. I don't know if it would be wise to...,"

Sounds were coming through the door. I could tell the voice of that annoying spazz anywhere – he was in there having a closed-door conversation with someone. I knew that it had to be Rikuou, and my suspicions were almost instantly confirmed when I heard him sigh, but that didn't explain what they were speaking of and why no one but themselves could hear it.

"Moving them isn't a good idea right now. He just told me that they're...,"

"Wait...again? Isn't this like the third one?!" Kazahaya's voice began to rise in a most interesting way, causing me to press my ear into the door even harder. "How many are they going to-,"

"Keep your voice down, moron!"

"Don't call me a moron!"

I sighed softly, pulling away from the door. Whatever they were talking about was obviously pointless now; these guys could banter for hours if they were left to it. They probably wouldn't even remember what they were talking about when they finally got over it – that was just their relationship. Though it made no sense to me, I admired them for having the patience to actually stick together. In a weird way, it was like they belonged together because they argued all the damn time. For them, arguing was almost like a form of affection, though I was still confused by it. I had always thought that fighting with each other was a sign that the relationship was in trouble...but these guys made it work.

Rapping on the smooth, wooden surface, I heard startled gasps from inside. I opened the door without pretense, my scowling face putting looks of suprise on theirs. "Can you fix my head?" I asked, causing a beat of confused silence to pass between them. Then, lilting laughter came from the brunette as he shook his head, coming over to look at me. 'Weren't they just arguing a second ago? Why is he in such a good mood?' I wondered, frowning at him.

"You need to be more careful with our prince, Rikuou. He can't lose many more brain cells!"

I bristled at that comment, growling down at him. "Watch it. I'll have you thrown in the dungeons faster than-,"

"No you won't." Kazahaya said cheerfully, more or less shoving me down into a chair so he could have a look at my head. His cool fingers touched the sore spot, making me hiss in pain. "Wow," The spazzy brunette said, chuckling a little bit. "You got quite a knock there – how hard did you hit him, Rikuou?"

The black haired male shrugged, cracking a hint of a smile. "I guess I could have gone a little easier on him."

I rolled my eyes, wishing that these guys would just stop. I could deal with pain in my head without them creating more of a headache. "Yeah, yeah. Now can you just patch me up so I can leave already?"

Kazahaya sighed, going to the cabinet to get medical supplies. "You're just like your brother." He huffed, sending a stab of pain through my chest. "Always wanting to get up and go, never taking a second just to breathe...it's going to take a toll on you, you know." He cut his green eyes at me, just a few shades lighter than Rikuou's forest green eyes...but not as deep as my brother's had been. "Be a good kid and take a breather every once and awhile, won't you? Kaisei wouldn't want you to stress yourself out."

This was another reason that these two annoyed me; they would always talk about my brother. They had been his best friends back in the day; Kazahaya, Rikuou, Kaisei, and a couple of others had been the talk of the palace back in the day – geniuses, but mischevious troublemakers. They had run around together even when they were adults, always hanging out or making some kind of trouble. I remember that they used to be some of my chief tormentors when I was younger; playing hide and go seek and never finding me, sending me on errands just to get me to leave them alone...to be honest, I had really hated them when I was a kid. I mean, if I had a kid brother now, I would probably do the same, but I still thought that the way that they had treated me was incredibly cruel.

Or, it had been that way...but things changed.

"This is going to sting a little."

The brunette was dabbing a cloth against my forehead; before I knew what was happening, a burning pain sprung up where he was dabbing, distracting me enough almost not to notice that the cloth he was using came away stained red. "Dammit!" I shouted, clawing at the arms of the chair, "Shit that hurts! Can't you use anything else?!"

Kazahaya just rolled his eyes, and may have even started to dab a little harder, just to piss me off. "Grow up, Kurogane. It's only a little alcohol."

I winced as the pain continued, really wanting to punch him in the face for his stupid ass comment. He had no idea what this felt like – he had no room to talk. This guy wasn't the most gentle healer I'd ever known, and just my luck, he had to basically be the only freaking one avaliable. The rest were continuing their education, and had been gone for a couple years to the college in Celes. Kazahaya had been the smart one; he'd come here with all of his damn ducks in a row, leaving me stuck with him when the people that would actually kiss my ass were gone. I wouldn't get any gentle treatment or sympathy from him.

'Man, now I'm sounding like a moron.' I thought to myself, taking a deep breath as I tried my best to stay quiet. I sensed the relief in the two beside me; no matter what they said, they could get in trouble for causing me pain from my father. Though he wasn't all that fond of me, the king would take any chance to dole out punishment. When they were already on the line with their relationship, they didn't need to be examined any closer.

"Kurogane-sama?"

I turned my eyes to Rikuou, waiting for him to go on. "Are you doing anything extremely important this week?"

I frowned, sighing. "Just trying to become the king of this place." I muttered. "What do you mean by 'extremely important'?"

"I know that your father will be adamant that you attend every lesson that you possibly can, but...," Rikuou trailed off, looking at Kazahaya. I followed his eyes, noticing how pale the other male looked. "...I need to show you something. I think you're finally old enough now to-,"

"Rikuou." Kazahaya's tone was anything but amicable. It was severe, clipped; something was going on that I didn't know about, and that chilled me to the core. "We haven't discussed this."

"He's eighteen, Kaz. It's time that he knew."

"What do I need to know?" I demanded, watching them both stiffen. This was getting steadily more interesting – now, I knew for sure that there was something they were keeping from me.

"...We wanted to go to town with you, Kurogane-sama." Rikuou said hesitantly, taking a deep breath before he went on. "There is something that you need to see-,"

"How do you know that he's prepared?!" Kazahaya butted in, glowering at Rikuou. "How do you know that it's safe? Fei Wong's denziens could be crawling all over the place! You have no idea what you're about to put him through. And for what? Peace of mind? Let me tell you something, Rikuou, being mentally at peace won't change the fact that you're dead!"

"The truth can't be hidden forever! Kaz, they are suffering! They need help! This isn't just about Kurogane-sama; it's about much more than that!"

If I had been confused before, now I was just lost. This was weird for Kazahaya – his levels of spazz usually didn't get to 'really creepy'. I wanted to know right now what it was they were talking about. It was obviously something that I needed to know, something about me...I didn't have time for this bullshit. Not when there was a kingdom outside these walls that I needed to run. These guys were wasting the time that I could have been spending going around and learning about being a king – or more importantly, how to defend my country – just so that they could have it out with one another!

"You are saying that we have to bring them out of-,"

"WOULD YOU JUST SHUT THE HELL UP?!"

My voice silenced them, its roar reverberating from the walls of the room. I was the athourity here; it was time to excersize my ability to do so. I wasn't about to let them sit here and carry on like I wasn't in the room. I was the crown prince, for crying out loud! If there was a matter that was to concern me, I wouldn't let other people decide my fate for me!

"If there is something that I need to know, the floor is open. Otherwise, answer me. What do you want me to do?" I said between gritted teeth, slowly so that these two clowns could understand. I mean, I held Rikuou in high regard as a friend, more like the brother that had been pulled from my side. But I would not take this crap. He always got like this around Kazahaya – he actually spoke up, and had a freaking opinion about everything. Normally, he would keep his words to himself, but around the spazz, he was always so outspoken and bold. It freaked me the the hell out; I wasn't used to seeing him that way. I didn't want him to speak when he could be silent. After all, I had to bottle up my feelings all the damn time; why couldn't he?

There was a long pause in which I nearly walked out on them. I wanted to give these guys a chance, but if they were going to waste my time with this stupid 'I'm going to dance around so that I'll keep you guessing instead of coming clean with you' shit, then I was going to leave. I hated it when people weren't upfront with me; both of these idiots knew that. Why they weren't telling me anything, when they normally told me everything, escaped me.

A thought pricked up in the back of my mind in that moment that I would pass off now, and later never be able to forget. 'Is this the only thing that they aren't telling me?' I wondered. 'I mean, if they were keeping something small like a trip destination secret...I don't think that they're going to come clean and say that they've murdered an entire village or anything, but these guys could be hiding other things from me, too,'

"Your highness...we didn't mean any harm." Rikuou bowed, finally remembering the position that he was in. He was a suboordinate; a friend, but below me. I wasn't going to take any crap from him. "I just...this information that we have for you is not for the palace walls. It must be discussed far from here...somewhere that we can speak alone."

That got me interested. I raised an eyebrow at the male, asking him to go on with my gaze. Of course, Kazahaya would have none of that. He stepped between us, shaking his head. "The time is not right. This baka here doesn't understand that." He looked up at me...and for the first time, I saw something akin to...pleading in his eyes.

Kazahaya Kudo had never, ever looked at me with such vulnerablity.

"Please, Kurogane. I need you to be patient for the time being. There will come a time that everything will be explained...but for now, I need oyu to trust that we know the answers, and we know how to handle the situation." Those green eyes captured mine; it was almost hypnotic, in a way. I managed to pull myself out of his gaze enough to look away, finding it difficult to even look into the other male's eyes a second time for fear that he would trap me there again.

"...I won't speak of this meeting." I said finally, deciding it was best to meet them in the middle. "However, I want an explanation, and soon. Am I understood?"

Kazahaya looked at me, and shook his hed, looking more and more unnerved as time went on. "I'm afraid I cannot promise you that, Kurogane. This time, there's just too much at stake."

xxxxxxx

A lonely child, playing with his toys. His mother and father have been fighting again. He is surrounded by the blackness of the room at night, not knowing how to turn on the lamps. Something has been happening. Voices have been whispering. He is afraid, but he doesn't know what he's supposed to be afraid of.

The night drags on, and the boy remains lonely. Voices outside his door have become intelligible.

"The prince is late," One says.

"You don't think that he ran away?" Another asks.

"He probably did. Or he's off having relations with some of the Celestian maids. I've always heard that they were the most beautiful of all the women in the realm."

"Hush now, Tomoe! You don't know who might be listening!"

"Oh, calm down. No one's here but the young lord, and heavens above know that he can't understand what we're speaking of."

They were wrong. Always wrong. The boy was smarter than he seemed. He understood so much more than anyone realized. He was eleven, for crying out loud; already reading a lot of books and learning how to use his sword. He wasn't a moron.

Kaisei used those words a lot. Moron. Idiot. Stupid. He was always talking down. He never thought that there was anything good about his little brother. Kaisei hated...he just hated.

There was no one that Kaisei loved. He was just cold. Always would be cold. Nothing but cold.

Hours passed. Sitting in the dark, tears leaked down the boy's cheeks. He began to cry for the first time in a long time, wishing that he weren't so alone. Wishing that someone would just come in...come in and talk to him, and turn on the...

The lights went on.

The boy turned, his eyes widening when he saw the last person that he ever expected to see. "Kaisei...," He said softly, surprise turning to fear. Kaisei always thought that he was a baby when he cried, and he liked to personally punish him for it. His brother was nothing but a mean jerk, a horrible person that just...that just deserved to...

"...Kurogane...,"

The older boy swept his younger brother up in his arms, twirling him around in the air. "Why are you crying?"

His voice was so soft, so warm. He was suddenly so...bright. Just...bright. The boy had never been able to picture his brother like that before. The cloudy boy had suddenly turned into this explosion of color and light, almost blinding the little boy with his happiness.

What in the world was going on?

"Y-you can't trick me, Kaisei-nii. I know that you're just pretending...," The little boy growled, trying to squirm out of his grasp. "Just leave me alone!"

Kaisei stopped suddenly, stiffening. "...Pretending...," He said softly, looking at the younger boy in his arms.

The younger one knew that he had done it; now, his older brother was going to snap and yell at him; was going to hurt him and make him wish that he would never have been born-

"I've been pretending for my whole life." Kaisei looked at Kurogane, those impossibly green eyes, fathomlessly deep, molding with his. "For the first time...I feel like this is real."

The boy was confused. "What's real, Kaisei-nii?"

The older grinned, placing Kurogane on the bed. "Everything, Kurogane. Everything."

xxxxxxx

"Everything is real,"

I shot out of bed, my heart slamming against my ribs. I clutched my hand chest, breathing erractic and heavy, feeling like I'd just run a marathon as hard and long as I possibly could.

"Kaisei...?" I panted, his words reverberating over and over in my head. Everything is real...everything is real...what did that mean? I knew what he had meant when he'd said it; was it just a piece of the dream that I liked to hold on to coming back to me, or was my brother trying to tell me something from wherever the hell he was now?

I curled in on myself, forcing my body to calm. I took slow, deep breaths, trying my damndest to get myself under control. I wasn't about to freak out on everyone; they had been concerned for my sanity when Kaise died – I didn't need them to be worrying about me now. Especially when Kazahaya and Rikuou wanted me to sneak out of the palace with them soon.

It had been weeks since they'd spoken to me about it the first time. That entire time, I had been patiently waiting for them to say something to me...anything about whatever it was that was apparently important enough that they couldn't speak of within the palace walls. The curiosity had nearly killed me – I had wanted to beat the answers out of them several times, or hang them up by their toes until they came clean. Something in me knew that I needed to hear this, and that unconsious part would not rest until I had my answers.

Fortunately, this morning they had come together, and told me that I was to be ready to depart early in the morning...this morning, now that I thought about it. I didn't know where we were going, much less what we were planning to do there, but I trusted Rikuou. I even trusted the little spazz.

I knew that I needed to sleep, but right now, it just wouldn't come. I got up and walked to the balcony, mussing my hair. It was a nervous habit that my dad found really unbecoming of me; I didn't give a shit. I did it to annoy him for the most part...but now, it was like a comfort gesture. I did that a lot when I thought about Kaisei; right now, when my thoughts were consumed with him, it was almost like I couldn't stop my hand from automatically going to my hair.

I opened the french doors, going out to the ivory railing encasing the balcony. There was a similar railing that my brother had jumped over when he killed himself. It was a long way down to the ground; I wondered for a moment whether or not he'd been in pain when he'd died, or if he hadn't felt anything – perhaps he had just woken up in the next world. I could only hope that he hadn't had to suffer anymore. He had done enough of that while he was alive.

Clutching the white railing hard enough to make my knuckles go white, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, focusing on the night air. It felt great out here; good enough to make me want to stay for awhile. 'Screw sleeping,' I thought, opening my eyes again to look out at the woods, black with night, that bordered the city. 'It's not helping me any. I might as well take a break when I'm awake if my dam dreams won't give me one.'

I thought I saw something moving out of the corner of my eye to the far right of the palace grounds. It had shone in the moonlight, alerting me to its presence; when I snapped my gaze there, I found that there was nothing; the grounds were as empty now as they had been before. Or so I'd thought. As soon as I had settled myself to thinking that it was just a part of my imagination, I saw a figure with blonde hair and pale skin walking out onto the grounds, looking right up at where I was.

I strained to look down, to see who it was and what was going on. The night and the foliage around where the figure stood made them almost impossible to see. I nearly gave up...until the person came a little closer. I knew that face. I would never, ever be able to forget...

"Yui?!" I called, my eyes widening. The figure stiffened suddenly, as though it had been burned. It started to make for the edge of the grounds, but I was already running. There was a secret set of servant's stairs that lead to the bottom floor from my room – from there, it was as simple as running out the kitchen door, and I was on the grounds. I ran as fast and as hard as I could to the place where I had seen them, desperate to catch the only being that would ever be able to understand what I was feeling for Kaisei...because that person was surely in more grief than I could ever be.

"Yui!" I yelled, trying my best to keep up. I saw a flash of gold in the bushes, and immediately headed for it. I didn't care who was staring at this point; there weren't any other people here besides me and...

I dove into the foliage without another thought, desperately searching for the boy that had dominated so much of my brother's life; the one that he had been the closest to. I had been trying to see him ever since Kaisei had died; I wanted answers to why he wasn't with me anymore. I wanted to know about his pain...about what he had been feeling the night that he'd thrown himself from the balcony. I understood that he probably wouldn't want to speak of those things...but too damn bad. I had gone years not knowing why my brother decided to do something so stupid, and he had never been around before to answer those questions.

I opened my mouth to yell one last time, desperately hoping that this would make a difference. But before I knew what was happening, I was stopped in my tracks, the glint of a sword pointed at my throat. I growled, looking up at my assailant...and my gaze immediately softened.

"Yui." I said simply, looking at him. "Do you know who I am?"

I wouldn't mistake those blue eyes anywhere, or that flaxen hair that seemed to fall just so. Yui had been one of the most beautiful men I'd ever seen; his Celestian blood accounted for that. Those people were all just extremely beautiful; it was no surprise that, even as a child, I had registered his attractiveness. Yet, now that he was before me, looking dangerous and otherworldy, I felt an echo of feelings somewhere inside of me that I'd never felt before.

"I'm not."

It took me a moment to register that he had spoken. His voice was so soft, his words like music that gently drifted into my ears. I frowned, trying to understand what he was trying to say. "Not what?"

"Yui. I'm not." The male looked at me, blue eyes shining in the darkness. "I'm not Yui."

That was impossible. I looked at him and stared, trying to search my memory to see if there were any differences. I couldn't think of any; this guy had the same blonde hair and blue eyes, unless he was wearing some kind of disguise.

A smile spread across those pink lips, and the male before me chuckled, drawing his knife away from my throat. "Your confusion is endearing, Kuro-chan." He said, immediately sparking irritation in me. Well, that was one difference – I had always been Kurogane-san to Yui.

'Did my brother's loss drive him insane...?' I wondered, my eyes widening. I realized what was going on now; Celes had probably tried to keep him from coming here and seeing the complete truth of Kaisei's death. Not knowing had driven Yui to his breaking point, and now he was searching for my brother...a person that wasn't even buried on the palace grounds.

"Don't call me Kuro-chan." I chose my words carefully, not wanting to set him off or anything. "If you're looking for my brother...he's not...he's not here." I could barely force the words to come out; it felt like they were stuck in my throat, rotting and decaying there along with Kaisei's body.

"Of course not," The blonde said cheerfully, "Your brother is dead, Kuro-chan~ I thought that you knew that!"

I flinched as though I had been slapped in the face. I tried to back away, but I found that my body wouldn't move; I was frozen in place, but I didn't understand why. "What the...what the hell?!" I demanded, looking up again.

"What's the magic woooooord~?"

"LET ME THE FUCK DOWN!"

"Kuro-myuuu~ that was a whole sentence!" The blonde whined, bringing up yet another insufferable mutilation of my name. I growled again, thrashing wildly.

"SHUT UP! Let me down, NOW!"

"Sheesh~ Kuro-chan is so mean!" The snarky blonde snapped his fingers, causing me to fall. My face slammed into the ground, making me even angrier. I lept to my feet as quickly as I could, wanting to lunge for him and beat him to a pulp. Yui was sure being an asshole – insane or not, I wasn't going to stand for this shit.

"Quit saying my name like that! My name is Kurogane! It's not Kuro-chan, or Kuro-myuu... . ." I grabbed the collar of his shirt and hauled him up, his face close to mine. "You will call me that, or I'll-,"

"Or you'll what?"

Before I knew what had happened, I was lying on my back, looking up at the stars. The blonde squatted down next to me, smiling wryly. "You know, you're awfully slow~ anyone from Celes would have seen that coming really fast!"

I opened my mouth to yell at him some more, but the blonde put a finger to my lips. "It was lovely talking to you, Kuro-sama...but I'm afraid I must go. Keep this little secret between us, 'kay?"

I took a deep breath, about to yell at him again...but he just gave me a small smile and walked forward, disappearing through the thick foliage. It was a full minute before my lungs losened, allowing me to release the scream that had been building in my throat.

"YUI! Oi, YUI! COME BACK!"