Stalag 13 was not the best place in the world to spend world war two but there could be much worse places to have to be. Hogan and his men enjoyed some privacy and had times that they enjoyed when the German's got into trouble because of them.
Klink was one of their reasons for having it so easy. he was a blundering idiot and wouldn't know an escape tunnel if it came up and bit him. But he was some of the reason why Colonel Hogan and his men had been so successful with their espionage.
As a rule Colonel Klink did not go into town very often. He was usually found at his office or at his small hut where he slept, Hogan and his men were sure alone most of the time.
But there was something going on with Colonel Klink. Hogan and his men watched with great surprise as Colonel Klink left for town for the third time that week. He was all dressed up and jumping around like a teenager. Something told Hogan that he was going into town to meet a girl. Hogan needed to talk to Sargent Schultz.
Whenever there was something going on around camp Schultz was the man to ask. His favorite phrase was "I see nothing" but then he would brag about what he knew. That evening it was Colonel Hogan's luck when he spotted Schultz headed toward his barracks.
Lebeau and Newkirk had the chocolate ready to offer Schultz and as the large man entered the barracks he was met by most of Colonel Hogan's men. They were all curious as to what Colonel Klink was up to.
Hogan knew how to get him to talk and told his men "Settle down Schultz knows nothing about what is going on."
Sargent Schultz looked at Colonel Hogan and his men and said "Maybe I do know Maybe I don't know." and with that he eyed the chocolate that Newkirk was holding.
Newkirk smiled at Schultz and said "Umm this is good chocolate Schultz. Can't you tell us what is going on with Colonel Klink? We couldn't help but notice that this was the third night that he has gone into town this week." and with that he waved the chocolate under Schultz nose.
It was no use and Schultz knew it. He was going to end up telling Hogan and his men anyways. It seemed that every time he came to the barracks they got somethin gout of him for information. As he took the candy he took a seat at the table.
"I have not seen the lady that the Colonel has been seeing. But I have been told that she is a very nice looking woman. They have been meeting at a local hotel downtown. Colonel Klink was bragging about it this afternoon. Boy that man put enough cologne on to kill a skunks smell." Schultz told them.
Colonel Hogan was the first man to speak up "Come on Schultz you can do better than that. We all know that as far as finding pretty woman goes Klink has always scored a zero." and with that le laughed.
"But it's true. He has been seeing a woman everyday this week almost. I don't know her name yet, but she is supposed to have a lot of money." Schultz told the men.
Colonel Hogan was thinking hard 'so it was true that Klink had a lady friend. This would be something that could keep the Colonel's mind off of the stalag possibly and make life a little easier for him and his little group. 'But who was she?' he wondered.
That evening Hogan and his men observed Klink coming home very late. He was obviously in good spirits and Hogan made up his mind to talk to him about his new woman in the morning.
Roll call was held at the same time every morning. When the roll call was through Hogan walked up to Colonel Klink and said "Colonel I need to talk to you."
Hogan was expecting some kind of stupid remark from the Colonel but instead Klink welcomed him into the office. When Klink offered him a cigar, Hogan was truly surprised.
"What can I do for you on this bright and warm morning Hogan?" he asked.
Hogan sat back in the chair and took a long drag off of the cigar and said quite honestly "My men and I have noticed that you have been leaving camp every night and going into town. Do you have a lady friend by any chance?" he asked him with a smile.
Klink was indeed proud of himself. He did have a woman, a lovely woman at that , He smiled and said "What is it to you?"
"We were just wondering. We never hear anything very new and interesting around the camp. This is big news to us sir." Hogan told him.
"I was at one of the local hotels and I met this woman. She is very smart and beautiful and she likes me. We have been together three out of the last five nights. She lives somewhere in town." Klink bragged to Hogan.
"is she rich? Are you sure that she is not married?" Hogan asked.
Klink smiled and said "She was married but her husband has been reported missing at the Russian Front. She has not seen or heard form the man in over six months." he offered.
"Then he could still return to town. Be careful Colonel. If he finds out that his wife and you have been seeing each other he might not be very happy." Colonel Hogan warned him.
Don't be silly Colonel Hogan. The man is a Colonel himself at the Russian front and there is no hope that he will ever get back here. People disappear there all the time. Besides she says that she is very fond of me.
"I hope that everything works out all right Klink." Colonel Hogan told him.
But as Hogan began the walk across the compound he saw a car pulling up and a strange Colonel getting gout of the car. Hogan hurried to the barracks and plugged in the coffee pot. Trouble was stirring it was the ladies husband that had just come into Klink's office.