This is a new series I'm working on based on the first episode of season 2. It's going to incorporate certain things from the superteaser, and also from the episodes as the season goes on. It's basically the way I want season 2 to go. I promise you Karmy is endgame. Why else would we be here?
"It's not your fault you don't feel the same way. Even though, I wish you did." Amy looked at the girl sitting in front of her and felt her heart sink into her chest. She had been in love with Karma for weeks now, but she still wasn't used to the feeling. She looked up at the girl, hoping she might jump in and say she felt the same way. But she didn't. Maybe she just needs another push. "You still don't?" Karma remorsefully looked at her before glancing down, remembering how her actions that had gotten them into this situation. "Just checking," Amy smirked. Karma went on about how she was worried Amy would end up hating her while the blonde pulled her in and reassured her. No matter how badly she wanted to, she could never stop loving Karma.
Karma wanted to stay the night, but Amy told her she desperately needed space. Reluctantly, Karma walked home lugging her guitar and holding her arms, wondering if anything could ever be how it used to. Meanwhile, Amy was looking up at her ceiling wondering the same thing. She was fifteen years old. She had known Karma since she was five. Ten years. Two-thirds of her life were inhabited by memories of this girl. Why did it have to be her best friend? She turned over on her stomach and grasped at the covers, shutting her eyes as she cried softly. The sobs grew more intense the more she thought about her situation. There really was no way out. She couldn't banish Karma from her life, not after all they had been through. She also couldn't be around Karma without feeling the unbearable sense of longing in her chest. She just wanted to cry, and she just wanted to hold her, which made her want to cry even more.
Four hours, she had been bawling her eyes out. It was 2 AM and she was losing her mind. She needed someone. She needed Karma. Against all better judgement, she found herself with her phone pressed to her ear. "Amy?" a relieved voice came from the other end. "I'm so glad you called. I can't sleep when we're fighting."
"Karma?" A cracked voice came from the blonde's end. She had started crying again, and hearing the other girl's voice had only made it more intense.
"Amy, what's wrong?" Her voice quickly changed from relief to worry.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just.. Can you come over?"
"Yes! Yes, I'm walking over right now," Karma said as she sprinted off her bed. "Are you okay? What's happening?"
"I-I don't know," Amy cried. "I'm sorry. I'm really okay, I just can't stop fucking crying. I just need.. someone." She couldn't say "you". Karma knew that's what she meant, but she still couldn't say it. Karma stayed on the line until she reached Amy's house and retrieved the key from under the mat, making her way up to Amy's room. As she approached the door she saw Amy sitting up on her bed, hugging her pillow. As soon as she made eye contact with her, Amy broke down even more. Karma sat down next to her and held her as she cried into her shoulder.
"I'm sorry, Karma. This is the worst," Amy managed to say between sobs.
"Shh, shh. Just calm down. It'll be okay, I promise. Just breathe." Karma felt horrible. The last time she had seen Amy this upset was when her dad left seven years ago. She didn't know what to do then and she didn't know what to do now. All she could do was hold her until she could calm down enough to talk. That moment finally came some twenty minutes later, and Karma was the first to break the silence. "Amy, please tell me what's going on."
"I think you know," she weakly mumbled out, her head still on the other girl's shoulder.
"I feel horrible, Amy. I've never felt this bad in my life, and the worst part is it's not even a fraction of what you're feeling, which makes me feel even worse. I wish I could take your pain away. I wish it was me instead of you," the brunette mumbled sadly.
"I would never want you to feel like this. I don't want you to feel bad at all. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty… I just feel broken. I've never needed someone as badly as I need you right now." It was a toxic situation. Amy knew this was only making Karma feel worse and it wasn't making her feel any better. "You should go," Amy said, pulling back. She kept nodding as if she was trying to convince herself.
"Amy, no. I've put you through so much. Just let me be here for you for tonight, okay? Whatever you want me to do.. just tell me."
Amy forced out a laugh. "Be my girlfriend," she said sarcastically.
The brunette looked down sadly. "Okay, if that's what you want."
"Karma, no," Amy turned serious. "Jesus Christ, no Karma. I'm not going to fucking guilt you into dating me," she turned indignant, as if Karma had just insulted her.
"What about just for tonight?" Karma asked. "Would that help, or maybe give you closure, or something? Would it just confuse you more? Please, Amy, just talk to me. I don't know-" her voice cracked. "I don't know what you want," she choked out in a soft whisper.
"I don't want you to feel like you have to do anything," Amy said, now comforting the girl crying next to her. "This is such a fucking mess. I just don't understand it."
"Don't understand what?"
"How you can kiss me, and want to be around me, and care about me, and not feel the same way I feel about you," she looked into the brunette's eyes. "Like, when we kissed at the threesome, and you said it was hot. Is there something I'm missing here? I just really thought you felt enough to at least give us a chance."
"Amy…"
The blonde suddenly felt a surge of confidence. "And after we kissed at the homecoming assembly, and you said I was great. What does that mean? Do you like kissing me?"
"Amy, I don't know," Karma's eyes were darting all around the room, feeling extremely uncomfortable being confronted about all of this.
"It's because of Liam, isn't it? You have too many feelings for him," the words stung as they left her mouth, mostly because she knew she was right. "You need to be with him right now, don't you?"
"No! No, Amy. It's going to kill you," Karma trembled. "Listen, Amy. I don't know if I can ever feel for you the way you feel for me, and I'm sorry. I'm truly, deeply sorry. But I can control whether or not I date Liam, and there's no way I'll ever put you through that pain."
"No.." Amy started. "Karma, you can't control your feelings for Liam anymore than I can control my feelings for you." She pulled herself away from the other girl. "You should be with Liam."
"No!"
"Can you be honest with me, Karma? I've been honest with you. Do you want to be with him?" The brunette looked around the room with a forlorn expression. "It's okay, Karma. I'll be okay," she managed a smile. "Just tell me. I want you to be happy more than anything."
"Yes," Karma stuttered. "I do."
Although Amy had already known that to be true, it didn't make it hurt any less when Karma confirmed it. Still, it was almost freeing, knowing that this was completely out of her control. She had to hit her breaking point to finally realize there was nothing she could do to make Karma fall in love with her. She was living her truth. She could still be in love with Karma, but she had to let go of the idea of them being together. For now, at least. She would never let go of the idea that they were soulmates, that they would end up together, but she could wrap her mind around the idea of Karma being happy with someone else, even if he was her worst enemy.
"Okay," Amy smiled. "Then you should be with Liam."
"Are you sure?" Karma looked bewildered. Amy had always done everything in her power to make Karma happy, but this was extreme, even for her.
"Of course I'm sure, Karma. All I've ever wanted was for you to be happy. I'll be okay, I promise."
"I just feel so bad, Amy."
"Please don't. I love you, okay? I'm not going to hide my feelings for you, but that's not to make you feel guilty. You don't have to reciprocate, but I'm not going to deny the fact that we belong together. Just not right now. I'm ready, you're not. So what?"
"I don't know if I'll ever be ready."
"That's okay, Karma. I believe in us enough for the both of us. I've never been so sure of anything in my entire life. That's why I'm not worried. I know you think I'm crazy, but we'll get through this. Even if you date Liam. I'm not going to deny you happiness just because I'm hurting right now."
Karma reached out and pulled the other girl into a deep embrace. She loved Amy, she really did, but she wasn't sure she could be in love with her. She didn't know if wanting it was enough. It wasn't that she was opposed to the idea, but there was so much pressure. She couldn't organically fall in love with her under these circumstances. In fact, if Amy hadn't acted so opposed to the "faking being lesbians" thing, Karma might have let herself fall for Amy before she got involved with Liam. It wasn't even that Karma didn't like girls. She had never told Amy this, but she had developed little puppy-love crushes on girls just as much as boys throughout her school years. She didn't think it ever meant anything. She always thought it was more of an admiration, or perhaps jealousy. Lately, she wasn't so sure.
The misfortune of the situation was that Amy hadn't told Karma about her feelings sooner, and now Karma had fallen for Liam. She wasn't sure she loved him yet. She wasn't sure she even knew anything substantial about him, but she had pined away and worked so hard for so long that she couldn't get the idea of being with him out of her head. She wanted to date the hottest boy in school and go to football games and win prom king and queen and act out the high school dream. She finally received Amy's blessing to do this. She should have been happy. Why wasn't she?