Beyond Recovery

Author: Unanon
Fandom: Transmetropolitan
Warnings: This is Transmet. Hence cussing.
Summary: Channon & Yelena have a conversation after what must have been an interesting night.

The fetid steam rising from the bastard-gutting district turned the rising sun into a wavering mirage against the jutting architecture of the City. It was quite beautiful by some standards, but the two women draped across lounge chairs on the balcony of one of Puritan Mews' most up-scale apartments didn't notice. They were disheveled and, judging from the scattered morass of drained bottles, full ashtrays, and call-boy receipts, quite thoroughly debauched.

And at least one of them was visibly irate.

"I don't understand why you keep poking at it, Yelena," Channon smirked, lighting up a pair of cigarettes and handing one to her companion. "You can't even tell anything happened."

"I can still feel it," Yelena grumbled, scratching gently at her lower back. "I'm never going to forgive him."

"Another item to add to the list."

"This one won't go on our 'reasons to throw Spider Jerusalem's genitals to pustule-licking packs of dogs' list, Channon." She took a hard drag. "It deserves a category of its own."

"Okay, so stealing his credit cards isn't going to cut it this time." The cat jumped into Channon's lap and she idly ran her fingers through its fur. "I get it. You require retaliation beyond an everyday vengeance spree."

"Suffering. There must be suffering and humiliation. Spider must be made to pay."

"Well, he did get you out of there and got you patched up before you...er...died. That's something."

The scratching stopped. "You're backing HIM up on this one, Channon? For something like THIS!"

"That's not what I'm saying and you know it."

"But that's what it sounds like."

"Just seems to me that things could have gotten a lot worse, y'know? You're pretty lucky..."

"LUCKY! How am I lucky? How is waking up without a fucking kidney LUCKY, Channon!"

"They could have stolen both."

"Besides, the replacement doesn't seem to be giving you any problems. The source was reliable, the medical care exceptional, your recovery swift and thanks to the wonders of modern medicine and your daddy's money there isn't even a scar."

"Channon. I Lost.A.Kidney."

"Yeah. I know. How did that happen exactly?"

"You know how it happened! Spider and I were out doing 'journalism.'"

"You know I hate it when you do that air-quote finger thing."

"It's all his fault!"

"Maybe. But the way I hear it you guys had finished with the 'journalism' bits hours beforehand."

"See, now you did the air-quote finger thing."

"It was convenient. So what were you doing in a hotel in that part of town with Spider?"

"Um," Yelena wavered. "Following a lead. Investigative reporting. Had an inside source."

"Deep...cover?"

Yelena covered her face with a throw pillow. "Fuck you."

"You couldn't handle it," Channon grinned and began rifling through the bottles until she found one that sloshed. "I don't see what you're getting so pissed off about."

"Kidney. Lost." Yelena muffled.

"But you got one back."

"Not the same." Black-lined eyes peeked over the top of the pillow. "Enough in that one for me?"

"Sure."

Channon passed the bottle and following a long pull and an even longer pause Yelena said, "So. Bloody and Violent Vengeance. Any ideas?"

"I could always just reset his bowel disrupter to backfire spectacularly."

"Fun, but too simple. Besides, he might be pointing it at someone who actually deserves it more."

A shade of Channon's smirk returned, but she concealed it well. "Okay then. There's a tantalizing diversity of excruciatingly painful and humiliating 48-hour designer viruses. I know a guy..."

"You know lots of guys, but just keep talking."

Fin