Disclaimer: I do not own "You Can't Go Back" By Royal Wood. I also do not own any characters from the TV show Being Human. I only own my OC Olivia, Aidan's sister. All comments, opinions and reviews are much appreciated!
You Can't Go Back
If you go, I will fall
If you go, I will fall
Into, the deep
In you, well I have discovered
Everything I need to live
Forget the smoke and mirrors
You can't go back
She clung to his sleeve like the helpless child she embodied. Begging him not to go. Her nails dug deep into the forearm of his jacket. She was crying. In response, he shoved her away. His eyes turned to meet hers. Cold and deadly.
"Either grow up or stay behind. I don't need you or your tears holding me back." He said.
All she could do was continue to sob. Her tears falling like the endless rivers of worry. Only once he started to walk away again was when she spoke. Her voice sad and pleading.
"Don't do this! Please! You don't have to do this!" She begged.
He turned to face her again. His eyes still cold and unforgiving as they watched her form seem to shrink down. Unaware of her fear. Unsympathetic for her feelings for him. Unregistered focus.
"And what do you propose we do? Run? Hide? They will find us eventually. And then we will die. The both of us."
His words were clear. The path he wanted to take. Revenge. She didn't want to lose him this way. No. Because if he left now, she would never speak to him again. Either way she was screwed. They were screwed.
He turned away from her again. Heading in that same direction he had been headed for awhile now. Revenge. Again the word was recorded. He wouldn't let it go. No matter how she had implored for him to drop it. But she wasn't about to let it go. She wasn't going to let him go. Not without a fight.
She ran at him. Arms open. Only making contact with his body once her arms were slung around his torso. His back facing hers. A desperate embrace.
"Don't do this! Please don't do this! We can still go back! We can start over! There's still hope!" She begged again.
She began to cry again. Tears still full of worry. Her arms holding tight to the one thing she was afraid to lose. Even after he began to try and push her away. She still held on tightly. She was still the little child that she had always embodied.
He had no other options. He couldn't just turn back. He needed to make sense of this. He needed to get his revenge. No other thoughts crossed his mind. He elbowed her. Right in the stomach. Too close to her heart.
On impact she fell. Both hands clutching her stomach. She would never stand again. She stared up at him wide eyed. His own eyes were ebony. That's when the tears stopped. That's when she knew there was no going back.
If you leave, I will drown
Take your keys
Burn this town
There's no, way, now
The moment he left the world was the day she started to drown. She found herself kneeling. Hands in his ashes. No tears came. For what was the point of crying? He was already gone. Gone forever. No amount of coaxing could bring him back. She could not rewind what had already occurred. She knew that now. She hadn't known that before. Because now, it really was too late.
The days thereafter were the hardest she had ever faced. She drank heavily. Excessively. She had no control over who she was now. She became drunk every time. Killed someone every time. But the pain still remained. It never left her.
She wanted to run. But where? He was all she had left. But he was gone now. Which left her with nothing. But, perhaps she could return? Could she go back to her kin? Her brother? The one who had ended it all? Of course not. Because there was no such thing as going back. There was no such thing as forgiveness.
In you, well I have uncovered
Everything I need to be
No conjuring the past
You can't go back
She began to think. Think about the times they shared. When they were alone together. After they had made love. That's when she felt the safest. That's when she knew he was the one. The one she wanted to live the rest of her eternity with. Even if eternity meant forever.
Once she made her choice. Lover over family. That's when her fate had been sealed. No regrets. No going back. Only pain and hope. Both were pointless. Neither could change a thing. The only difference was one outlasted the other. It was eternal. And that was pain. That's all she would ever be left with now. Pain. She knew that now too.
Memories haunted her. Even in her sleep. That's the last thing she was left with once he was gone. The memories. The sweet words they had shared. The sex. The fights. The constant battle over life and death. All amounted to regret. And yet they only made her miss him more. Again she found herself wanting. To go back. To have the impossible.
You were the island in thewaves
My life will never be the same
He had meant the world to her. He had been her world entire and she had been his. Even if he had never shown it. But that was irony. She would have never known how he truly felt. Never to hear his love for her from his lips. And she wouldn't hear it now. Or ever.
Sometimes she thought about ending it. Many a time she'd catch herself. She'd hold a stake to her chest. It's wooden and seemingly weightless mass clung to her. Called to her. Asked her to bury it in her chest. Asked her to stab herself. One little prick and it would be over. She'd feel no more pain. But the child inside her wouldn't let her. She would never go through with it. Never again.
One night she found herself laying on his bed. She had discovered a place to go back to. Even if for only a moment. No one was there any longer. They wouldn't dare return. She clung to the pillow he had always slept on. She could faintly smell his scent. The aroma of power and the calm. She cried. It was the first time she had in months. She promised not to cry again after that. Not after his pillow was soaked with regret. No more tears. Never to return again.
In you, well I've found a lover
Every bit I need to breathe
No hocus pocus here
You can't go back
You can't go back
You can't go back
He had been the best. The only lover she had ever had. He knew her body inside and out. Every inch of skin. Tingled. Every crevice. Filled with pleasure. His touch always dominated her. But made made her breathe easy. His features. All perfect. All so compatible to her. They gave her light. He gave her the sun. But now her skin was cold. Her insides dark. For without him. There was no longer light. The sun was blacked out. Forever.
Her vision was always black. Her teeth always barred. She felt no need to show compassion. No need to hide what she was. What she had become. Not for anyone. Not anymore. Everyone was a meal. She didn't care. This was her new outlook. She always felt the pain. Still. She didn't care. She would never let anyone in. Never again.
Then the day she felt herself slip. When her kin found her. Her brother. She couldn't see straight. He was blurry. A fragment of what she once was. Humane. He approached her. Held out his hand. Pleaded with her to come back. Told her he was sorry. Sorry for everything. But she didn't listen. She ran. Ran far away. The cycle repeated itself. She couldn't go back. Forgiveness was dead. Chivalry was dead. Bishop was dead. Forever.