April 9 2019 8:42 PM.
Stotch Residence.
Butters is in his room talking to Cartman on Skype.
Cartman: Yeah, it's a cute doll
Butters: Well, you gave it your best shot, and that's all Jesus asks of you
Cartman: Butters, I don't believe in Jesus
Butters: Oh yeah, that's right, you're an atheist now
Cartman: So how's the little cousin going along?
Butters: Oh, he's annoying, plus his hair goes down to his ass
Cartman: Yeah, I get the same crap from my cousin Elvin [mocking] Dude, you don't believe Jesus? Oh that's so sad cause you're gonna go to hell when you die [stops] and I'm like does really matter? I keep telling I'll repent my sins on my death bed, but then he keeps telling [mocks again] But you say your great-great-great-great grandpa was monkey [stops again] Dude, that's not true and in fact, I don't fully believe in evolution either, but it's similar to that, and then tells me that I believe a Polar bear can give birth to a banana tree and I had to kick his ass after that
Butters: Gee, well my parents aren't that understanding either
Stephen: Butters! Are you looking up naked chicks?
Butters: No dad! I'm chatting with my friend
Stephen: No Facebook?
Butters: No, on Skype!
Stephen: Good, I don't want you using Facebook, it'll suck the life outta you
Butters: [talks with teeth closed] Asshole!
Cartman: Aw dude, that is so not true!
Butters: Sometimes I wonder if my dad is going senile, I know that he's only 46, but jeez-looez
Cartman: I think the word you're looking for is crazy
Butters: Oh whatever, the point is, [shouts] I'm not a looking at internet porn!
Cartman: [chuckles] are you?
Butters: …Eric, if you tell anybody, I will hunt you down like the mob
Cartman: Don't worry Butters, sometimes I yank before I go to bed, it helps me sleep
Butters: So do I
Cartman: Okay, goodnight butters!
Butters: Goodnight Eric! [Butters disconnects the Skype call and turns his computer off, he then walks over to his bed and lies down for 5 seconds, he sits up and moves his hand towards his loins]
April 11 2019 8:20 AM.
South Park Bus Stop.
Cartman: [Walks up to them] Hey fags, what's goin' on?
Kyle: Oh hey, dude
Cartman: I was talkin' to Butters last night; his father's a real dipshit
Kenny: Hey, at least your family isn't poor and fights all the time
Cartman: I was talking about Butters' family and for the record; I am the third poorest person in town
Stan: Kenny, have you ever tried winning the lottery?
Kenny: No, my family doesn't believe in the lottery [bus pulls by, the boys hop in. the boys sit at the back except for Cartman, who sits next to Butters]
Butters: Hey Eric
Cartman: Hey Butters, so, what did you do after we stopped talking last night?
Butters: Hmm, nothing, all I did was jack off after we talked
Cartman: [whispers] Who did you jack off to?
Butters: well why does that matter?
Cartman: Ah nothing
Butters: Well, what did you do after bed?
Cartman: Well, I took some sleeping pills
