Chapter One and Only Zero
Once there was a magical volcano name Rick Bubblestein.
It was blue.
Da ba di da ba da, da ba di da ba da, da ba be da ba daaa.
So Lelouch and Suzaku decided to go get a frozen yogurt on Rick Bubblestein.
But little did they know that Rick was in conspiracy with the weird man-girl-child-creep-who has a cold 24/7 (or at least it sounds like that) V.V. (Which can be interpreted as a girls name.)
So as Lelouch and Suzaku ordered their frozen yogurt (Lelouch: mint parfait. Suzaku: chocolate), a unicorn appeared!
His name was Steve so he said "Hi I'm Bert."
The terrorist and knight blinked before saying: "Hi Bert."
Steve was confused for his name is not Bert, it is Steve.
"I'm Lelouch and this is Suzaku," the raven haired terrorist said. "We live in the decimated Japan."
"You have a raven in your hair, Lelouch." Said Steve as Rick Bubblestein thought.
Lelouch thought for a moment. "Oh yea," he said. "And Suzaku's is the nest."
"The next what?" Said C.C. who was watching them all from a pizza fruit tree while wearing a shirt that advertised Pizza Hut.
"No, nest!" Lelouch snapped at the witch. Suzaku watched while eating his froyo.
But little did they know, Rick was a Russian spy from Brittania and was recording their entire conversation.
Oh and V.V. wanted some froyo and had summoned Steve for a ride.
But little did they know, Rick was a Russian spy from Brittania and was recording their entire conversation.
James Bond tweeted .
Lindsey Lohan was sentenced death by firing squad.
They all celebrated with more Froyos!
Rick the Russion-spy-for-Britannia-who-was-also-a-blue-magical-volcano exploded forks and knives while Steve started doing a rain dance down the street in a mustache.
They had a major after party too. Lelouch dressed up like a banana and V.V. was dressed up like a cumquat.
Then they had Food Battle 2017 to see which fruit was superior.
Suzaku was puzzling over this conundrum before deciding that the glass was half filled with water and half filled with air.
Until Euphy died and he became a jerk and pissed everyone off with his goody-goodyness and annoying jerkness when he determined that the glass doesn't matter for Euphy was dead and he is depressed and emo.
Back to Lelouch and V.V.: Both were still battling it out while C.C. snacked on pizza and talked to Steve about the difference between cumquats and bananas.
Then Charles zi Brittania killed a llama for science and there was a great revolt in Peru among the llamas and kittens.
Of course, the Peruvians won and all peace was restored to both kittens and llamas.
Lelouch and V.V. were still battling it out with a depressed Suzaku cutting himself and wearing eyeliner.
Then Nigahiga swooped in on a Big Bouncy Inflatable Green Ball and taught him the proper way to be emo with a video from Youtube.
And with that, no fruit was victorious, unicorns continued to wear mustaches, and blue volcanoes erupt, spewing forks and knives while our heroes eat frozen yogurt.
And Mao discovered Cold Play which was cooler than his old soundtrack of C.C. so he got the iPhone 4S to listen to it and got married to Siri and never bothered Lelouch in the first place which led to Voldemort's return in some weird way.
Yea, that's basically it.
Oh and Kallen finds out that her brother Naoto is a vampire and is in the cast for Twilight and is now ashamed of both of her last names and decides to become a circus acrobat.
Then the world exploded as predicted by the Aztecs in China.
Written by Epic of Epic Epicness and Someday's Future Dreamer.