They were fighting again. She could hear them through the floor.

"What did you want the stupid remote for, anyway?"

"Dude, Con Air was on!"

"You've watched that fucking movie five million times! Can't I be the one to choose the channel?"

Jade rolled her eyes. Living with them was like sharing a cage with two angry lions competing for the same slab of meat.

"What would YOU watch? Troll 500 Days of Summer AGAIN?"

"Well at least I haven't dragged my friends in by their nubs and made them sit through crappy action movies starring long-haired ape-men that they've overwatched to the point of being terminally ill-"

"No, you know what? NO ONE insults Nic Cage. NOBODY."

"Fuck you! I can insult the hairy hornless gorilla dude any time I wa-"

Thud.

There were several loud thumping sounds, followed by a screech from one of them. Jade sat up in her chair, frowning.

"Get OFF ME!"

"Take it back- OW."

"RRGHGAAAH!"

"OW STOP IT!"

Were they seriously fighting over an actor again? Sighing, Jade jogged up the stairs, hoping they didn't hurt each other too badly.

There was another thud, and then she turned the corner to see John and Karkat wrestling on the floor. The remote lay near them, upside down, as well as a bowl of popcorn, thankfully not. Karkat was trying to crawl over John as he reached for the remote, but John was pushing him away with his knees.

"Give- me- the- re- mote-" grunted Karkat as he set eyes on Jade, but instead she crossed the floor and took it away from both of them. They froze as she cut her eyes at them.

"Karkat, get off of John."

He obeyed, cheeks reddening angrily.

"John, stand up."

John sighed, rubbing his arm and grimacing as he touched a sore spot.

Both of them stood next to each other, John staring at his feet ashamedly, Karkat glaring at her, looking ready to launch into a long-winded lecture about how she couldn't boss him around. She felt her mouth twitching as she looked back and forth between them.

"What the fuck are you laughing at, Harley?" demanded Karkat.

"You know what?" she said, picking up the remote and pointing it at the television sitting in the corner of the room. "We're not watching either of those."

"Wha-?" squeaked John.

"I know, the concept that we're not watching either of your guys' favorite movies is one to behold. We're watching Doctor Who!" She grabbed the disk from the table and waved it in front of their faces.

"UuuuuuuUUUUGHHHHHHHH," they groaned, but followed her to the couch and let her start the first episode.

Somewhere through the first thirty minutes, Karkat spoke up.

"This is the worst show I have ever watched. The villains aren't even scary."

"Shh!" Jade said.

"You only like this show because they travel through space."

"Shooooosh!" she repeated, covering his mouth. He pushed her hand off, leaning away from him, but recoiling when he realized he was backed up against John. John grinned at him.

"You know what? I'm out. I'm leaving. You can't make me watch this shit." Karkat stood, holding his hands up. He started to walk away, but his departure was interrupted rather quickly when he was swept into the air and back onto the couch, propped up upside-down against the cushioned back, accompanied by a rather strong gust of wind.

"You're not going to leave me and Jade here all by ourselves!" John said, faking a pout. Karkat glared at him as he beamed. "Come on, Mr. Grumpy Horns."

Karkat struggled to turn himself right-side-up, but only succeeded in falling on top of John.

"Hey, get off me!"

Jade sighed and grabbed the remote again, flipping through the episodes. John and Karkat stopped fighting and stared at the TV instead. She glanced at them, but when they didn't move, she smiled and turned her attention back to the show.

Two episodes later, Jade stood, yawning, and said, "I'm going to bed."

Karkat looked up at her from where he was still draped across John's legs. "No! Don't leave me with this asshole. I'm begging you."

"First to fall asleep gets dish duty for the next week!" she said, waving over her shoulder.

In her absence, it was quiet. The only sound was the quiet drone of the television in the background as Karkat slowly turned onto his back and glared at John, who stared back with a weak attempt to look impassive.

Then Karkat sat up. Now they were back to back, him with his arms crossed sulkily, John sitting up and staring at the TV.

"This episode is awful," he said, pressing the next button several times. Another episode slowly loaded, and the intro began to play out.

He felt Karkat shift behind him suddenly. "I know what this is about," came the voice from behind him. "There's no fucking WAY I'm doing the dishes for another week."

"Hah! Good luck with that," he responded, always ready to change the mood. "You always fall asleep first."

"Not this time. No way."

Forty minutes later, the episode was just ending.

"Huh. I don't think I've ever seen this next one. What's it called? Doomsday?" John said.

"The show sucks too much ass to watch more than ten minutes of it willingly," Karkat snapped.

"I don't see you changing the disk."

"Humph."

"EXTERMINATE!"

Karkat jumped as the daleks' metallic voices rang through the television's speakers.

"D'awww, are you scared?" John nudged him with his elbow.

"No! I was- I was startled!"

"Suuuuuure. I think somebody needs a hug."

"Aaaaugh! No! Get off of me!" Karkat squirmed and kicked as John turned around and wrapped his arms firmly around him. Arms glued to his side by John's embrace, he glared at the daleks onscreen as though he wanted to shoot them with his eyes. Instead, though, he nudged the popcorn closer to John with his foot and elbowed his side violently.

With a sigh, John loosened his grip enough for Karkat to grab a fistful of popcorn and cram it into his mouth, chewing loudly.

"Shut uuuup! I can't hear!" John complained.

"Thuck it, Egberh," he muttered through his mouthful of popcorn.

"I want to know what's happening! Stop it!"

"It's just them talking about radiation," he said, swallowing the popcorn.

"It's important!"

As the episode progressed, the popcorn steadily vanished from the bowl. Eyes fixed on the screen, Karkat slowly settled into John's hug, barely aware he was there. John was completely absorbed in the show, eyes wide behind his glasses.

"He looks like Sollux with his stupid 3D glasses," he heard Karkat grumble over the sounds from the TV. John snickered, causing him to glare up at him. "What? What's so funny?"

"Nothing," he replied.

"Shut up, then," Karkat mumbled.

Forty minutes in and both were riveted, staring at the screen like they were moths and it was the brightest light in existence. Karkat grabbed another handful of popcorn, but, not willing to turn his eyes away, he missed his mouth and dropped it all over John instead. John didn't seem to notice, instead adjusting his grip on Karkat so that he was draped against him like a doll.

"Take me back! Take me back!" Rose begged onscreen. John watched, eyes narrow as he tried not to get too emotional. God forbid Karkat realized he was into this show. Reluctantly, he looked over to make sure that his housemate was still engrossed in the show, and was surprised to discover that tears were running down his face

"Hey, Karkat, are you okay?"

"Sh-shut up. I'm f-fine," he said shakily, trying to wipe the tears off his face.

"Shh. Have some popcorn," he said in an attempt to cheer him up. He passed the bowl to him, but Karkat pushed it away and buried his face in John's chest.

"Am I ever going to see you again?" Rose asked on screen. John felt Karkat's body tense up, as though he was holding his breath.

"You can't," the Doctor replied.

Karkat started sobbing loudly into John's shirt. John felt a few tears leaking down his own face as he put a hand on Karkat's back to try and comfort him.

As the episode ended, he realized that Karkat's breathing had evened and his crying had slowed down. He began to wonder if he was asleep. Then a muffled voice rose from his lap.

"This is a bit intimate, isn't it?"

John jumped. "Dammit! I thought I'd won."

"Hah. I thought I told you you wouldn't this time."

"Yeah, yeah."

Karkat sat up. He was blushing bright red, and as John smiled at him he turned away, scowling.

"Don't say it."

"What?"

"You KNOW what."

John held up his hands. "Okay, not saying anything."

"Good."

There was a brief silence, but John broke it before it became too awkward.

"I really don't want to do dishes."

"Yeah," Karkat sighed. "Me neither."

"Stupid Jade with her stupid games."

"Yeah, no shit."

Another pause.

"Okay, if you really want to know why I was crying…"

"What?"

"Didn't you want to-"

"Oh. Um. Sure."

There was a long sigh. "I was thinking about me and Terezi."

There was another silence.

"I just… don't get her- or either of us…"

John shifted his weight so he was laying down on the wide couch, Karkat's head resting on his stomach.

"Okay, now that I've successfully opened up to you like a sentimental fool, I'm fucking tired, and I don't really give a shit about the dishes anywa-" His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat loudly.

"-anyway," he repeated.

John found himself grinning like an idiot. He closed his eyes.

"Keep talking, Karkat. I'm gonna beat you to sleep."

"What?"

"You were right, okay? You're not going to do the dishes for another week."

Quiet.

"Oh." His voice was softer now.

Then, almost inaudible-

"Yesss."

John smiled and closed his eyes.

I'm only doing this because I'm a good friend.

Only as a FRIEND.

…

Guess that show really isn't so bad after all.