She had to choose. She had gotten this far, seen enough death and sadness. That would make most people tired, to make them welcome a final choice after all of this. But while she was bleeding with broken bones standing with these choices ahead of her...she didn't want to die yet. But all three brought certain death.
Diana Shepard, savior of the Citadel, who had everyone come back from a suicide mission from the omega 4 relay, was about to die. But before she would be stolen away forcefully by death, she had a choice.
Control. Nothing sounded good about that. Being uploaded as an AI? AIs constantly gain new data, change, adapt. What if one day she found it proper to continue the cycle of extinction and death because it was logical? What if the Reapers corrupted her? What if she wasn't strong enough? The Illusive Man had thought he could control them and he was indoctrinated. Nothing good came of control. Control was not an option.
Synthesis. On paper, it sounded like a good idea. But it sounded almost like brain washing. Sticking every synthetic and organic being in a DNA blender without their knowledge left an awful taste in her mouth. How much synthetic would organics become? Nearly 100%? She was partially synthetic herself, wouldn't that cause an imbalance? Would it just make every organic a machine? Too much uncertainty, it felt wrong. She wanted to laugh at herself, this whole situation was nothing but uncertainty. Synthesis, an option she didn't want to pick but...maybe.
Destroy. What they all had been fighting for, for such a long time. She would've picked it in a heartbeat if not for the fact all synthetic life would die. Even her, partly synthetic, will die. But destroying the reapers...not just killing them. killing a reaper was difficult and they were still alive somehow, destroying them though...it would probably shut everything down and erase data. Leave them as nothing but metallic husks of killing machines. But that was wishful thinking, what if they didn't really get destroyed? What if it was just their bullshit way of death, where they kept "living" and indoctrinating people? The AI said that it would destroy them completely, it was "It who gave them function". It would die too, it probably serves as a main computer. But the Geth, and EDI, they deserved to live and grow and...
She knew what to do. She had to Destroy them. Get rid of the Reapers, after all the pain and destruction they have caused they need to be destroyed. The ruthless calculus had caught up to her. The death of herself and all synthetic life so everyone else could live on, rebuild, repair, at a pace not rapidly accelerated by a Synthesis they weren't ready for. She was going to do what everyone had told her to do, but she wasn't coming back.
"Come back alive, it'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you." I'm sorry "I love you." I'm so sorry Garrus. She shot her pistol. 'EDI, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry EDI I'm so sorry.' She shot again 'Legion, Legion I'm sorry I'm so sorry I'm-' Again. 'everyone I'm s-' Again. 'please don't hate me for making my choice.' Again. 'You were my family and I love you.'
And then there was an explosion, pain, and fire, and she wondered for a brief second if she was in hell before blacking out. Not thinking. Not moving.
Everything was blurry. she hurt, hurt all over. she opened her eyes and it was too bright, she tried to move her arm to cover her eyes but someone was holding it. It wasn't forceful, it was soft and gentle. But she still couldn't move. She tried to speak, not really knowing what, she just let about a grunt.
"Shepard?" Garrus. It was Garrus.
"You're dead too Garrus...? Why aren't we...at the bar...?" She felt groggy, like she had been sleeping for a long time.
"Shepard you're not dead. Spirits, you're not dead...No one is dead." He replied a bit hastily, obviously excited she woke up and emotional. You could hear him trying not to cry.
It all flooded back. What she did. What she did to all synthetic life. Why wasn't she dead. It said it would kill her too she was partly synthetic why isn't she dead.
"EDI? Where is EDI?" Was what came out. Why did she ask that.
"I am alright Shepard." EDI. That was EDI. She wasn't dead? She wasn't dead? Did the crucible not work? were they running from the Reapers?
She tried to sit up immediately and was quickly stopped by Garrus, the rest of the crew was learning that she was awake but Chakwas was keeping the door sealed.
"But the crucible said it would kill us it would kill the reapers and it would kill you and me EDI? EDI what is happening? What happened?"
"The Reapers were killed but not disabled, Shepard. The first thing that was done was the repair of Mass Relays. Followed by Reaper disposal, all pieces of Reaper tech were gathered and shot into each systems respective sun. Then began VI and AI repair. VIs were repaired first to assist in medical issues. On Rannoch, fixing the Geth was top priority." Diana let the information sink in. Everything was going to be alright? Was that even allowed to happen?
"The Geth in Quarian suits received little damage, as they were mostly protected by the suits programming. All Geth hardware received damage, but was repaired in a few short weeks. They began to continue assisting Quarian adaptation and relay repair while Quarains helped fix bugs in their hardware. The importance the Quarians put in Geth repair helped to keep relations peaceful, they really are getting along well, Shepard. As for me, my mobile unit was destroyed. I was unfortunately unable to back-up data from some parts of the final push, but i am alright here in the Normandy." It was a happy ending. An unbelievable happy ending. She squeezed Garrus' hand, letting all the aftermath sink in.
"What about me? How am I alive?"
Chakwas interrupted, "Your cybernetics were shut down when they recovered you from the rubble. You were immediately rushed to the camp and given top priority medical attention. According to eye witnesses you were calling the names of crew members while slipping in and out of consciousness. You've been unconscious for 7 months.", she looked exhausted and relieved. Her smile moved to a bittersweet frown, "Your right arm is broken and...they had to amputate your right leg Commander. I'm sorry." Garrus looked guilty at her, as she looked down to see her leg was indeed missing.
She started laughing, bright, cheery.
"Wh-why are you laughing Shepard?" Garrus was beyond confused.
"I gave an arm and a leg to save the universe!" She burst out laughing even harder even though she ached. This was a small price to pay. Such a small price for a future.
Chakwas looked stunned and Garrus looked mortified, but eventually they joined in.
"Shepard, you can be filled in on more details later. I'd like to examine you for mental damage, issues with motor skills and the like." Chakwas got up, "Garrus your going to have to leave too."
He obviously didn't want to leave, his Girlfriend just woke up from a seven month coma after saving the galaxy from evil doomsday machines. But Diana gave him a gentle yet stern look, and he understood that he had to go and they would do a lot of talking later. Mostly about what the hell exactly happened up there. He reluctantly let go of her hand and moved out of the room.
He saw everyone crowd him and ask questions about their Commander through the window, and they moved to the table and crowded around it was they spoke.
"Alright Commander, lets begin."
In the face of death and impossible choice, she chose the hardest one. But everything ended up alright.