Author's Note: This will be Sam's thought as she is trapped in her body, and later the computer, during Entity. I hope you all like this.
Disclaimer: Don't own it.
Oh, God.
It's inside of me.
I can't do anything about it.
I feel myself mimic the hand movement that Jack had done.
I wince internally as I think of him as 'Jack.' Well, I'm trapped in my own mind. It's not as if he can hear me.
Jack says, "Can you talk?"
I wish I could.
Janet looks at Jack. "Colonel, her PET scan resembles that of someone who has been the victim of a stroke. Parts of her brain seem very active, others seem dormant or suppressed. The Entity does have complete motor control however; it might be able to communicate with a speech synthesizer if I explain its operation."
I know how to work the damn thing.
Jack takes a deep breath and looks at her, then back at me. "Just concentrate on getting it out of her, will you?"
I fully agree with that statement.
Janet looks broken. "I don't know how, sir."
"What about the Tok'ra, or the Asgard? Don't they owe us a favor by now?"
They do. They aren't going to help us, anyway. Would we even be able to reach them?
General Hammond looks just as lost as everyone else. "Till this situation this situation is resolved Colonel, we're still under quarantine. That means from our allies as well. We cannot risk the Entity leaving this facility."
Oh, it won't leave me. Trust me on this one.
They leave me alone for a while. They probably went to go see the "nest" it had built, trying to see how they could maybe get the entity back in. I wish I could look at the damn thing, try to figure it out for myself. But I'm no longer in control of my body—and even if I were, they wouldn't let me see it. Not with the entity inside of me.
Jack walks back into the room. I see the look on his face and I wince internally. I feel my face remain impassive; I feel how I don't respond physically when I wince.
My fingers move across the synthesizer. "O'Neill," it types.
Jack looks at me. "That's right." He turns to the guard posted outside of my room. Necessary, I know, but it still hurts. I hate feeling like this. "Go get the doc." He turns back to me. "And you are?"
How can he talk to me like this? How can he see me, see my face, and ask me who I am? I'm still here—I'm still me.
"I am within. You are O'Neill," the Entity types.
Janet comes into the room. Daniel and Teal'c are in the observation room with General Hammond. Jack's face also remains impassive, as he was trained to do.
"Yeah, we've established that," he said.
His tone, all though I know it's not directed at me, still hurts. He's talking to my face… he's just not talking to me.
"This one has memory of you."
You're damn right, I have memory of him. Those memories are personal, things that other people—or things, for that matter—aren't supposed to see.
"The one you're talking about is a person. Her name is Major Samantha Carter," Jack said, his face contorting in anger. Anger seeps into his voice. I wish I could talk to him.
"Then I am Major."
I feel cold with its response. Does it have any regard for me? I'm still here, in my body.
Jack's jaw locks. "No. No, you're not."
Janet just looks upset. Looks like emotional detachment from the patient isn't working out too well.
"We understand that you've taken control of Major Carter, but you're not her," she says.
"There was no other choice. No other place to go. You wish to terminate," the entity typed.
I didn't want to terminate. I wanted to talk to the damn thing, wanted to try to understand it.
"Still do," Jack says.
"But you will not. Not now. I have observed. You value the life of this one."
Oh, God. It was a trap. The whole thing was a trap.
"Yes, we do," Jack says firmly.
"This one is important."
"She is."
"For this reason, this one was chosen. You will not terminate this one in order to destroy me."
What the hell. It used me to preserve itself. It gave absolutely no regard for me or the life it would be taking.
It looks at Daniel, Teal'c, and General Hammond.
"None of you will. Therefore I will survive."
Daniel is talking to me now.
Jack is following him, and he is holding a zat. Well, I guess they have to prepare for the worst.
"My name is Daniel," Daniel says.
I know that, and the entity knows that. It doesn't want formalities—it wants to survive.
"I am aware," it types.
Daniel blinks. "Right. You… er… you read my file." Daniel looked at Jack. Jack just stood, the zat grasped tightly in his hand. He just watched the entity talk to Daniel.
"Yes."
"Then you know I am a scientist."
So am I, but I don't want to deal with this. I don't want to put up with Entity anymore. I want them to get it out of me.
"Yes. You have determined that I cannot be extracted."
Of course.
"Yes."
"I will now offer information in exchange for continued survival."
"We don't want your information. We want Sam."
I wish my face would move. I wish that they could know that I was here, that I was watching them, hearing everything that they were saying.
"Leaving this mind would cause termination."
Do you think that they care about what causes you termination?
Daniel, ever the peace-maker, tries to reason with it. "You left that thing you constructed in the MALP room. Go back."
"I have already grown beyond its capacity."
"Why did you do this?" Daniel asks, trying a different tactic now. "Why did you come here in the first place?"
"You attacked."
What? When?
Daniel and Jack's faces—the only ones I can see, mirror the shock I am feeling.
"No, we sent a probe."
"Yes."
That's attacking?
"It's something we do to determine whether or not a planet is safe for humans," Daniel explains.
I've tried communicating with it, tried to explain that it was just a probe, that we meant no harm. If it can hear me, it's not responding to me.
"Radio energy was emitted from your probe. Contagion. Much damage was caused within."
I've never known the probe to cause that much damage. It makes sense, now. The radio waves from our probe were harmful. It must have acted like a virus, a disease.
That still doesn't make me any less angry. It had no right to attack us, no right to take over my body. We meant it no harm.
"Within what?" Daniel asks.
"Within us. It spread before we understood it was poison."
There's more of it? Great.
"You're saying our world was damaged by radio waves from one probe?"
"Yes."
"We didn't mean to hurt you. It was a misunderstanding."
"Yet it is done."
What are they supposed to say? There's nothing they can do to fix it!
"So you came here to what?" Daniel asks, clearly confused now. No one quite understands why it came here. I don't understand why it came here.
"Preserve."
That explains it.
"Preserve your world?"
"Yes."
"How?"
"By destroying you."
What? How? What could going into my body possibly do for them? Of course, now it has access to all of the codes… Oh, God.
"Well, that's not going to happen," Jack says suddenly.
"Transmission was interrupted. If I had been able to complete transmission, you would have been destroyed. My world would have been preserved."
"Well, in a way, you succeeded. We won't go back there. You can repair the damage we did, and we won't send anymore probes through," Daniel says.
He's trying to negotiate, find peace with the entity. I wish that were possible.
"Yes, we will," Jack says.
I'm curious at his words. We won't be going back to the planet, and they won't be coming back here, so why would he say that?
Daniel looks at Jack, confusion crossing over his features. "Jack?" he questions carefully.
"We'll send dozens of them, one after another. I don't care what it does."
I don't feel shocked, or angry at his words. He has to do what he to in order to keep the SGC safe. He knows I would do the same thing.
The quiet in his voice makes a louder threat then if he were to yell. My body starts to shake.
"No."
Jack steps closer to my bed. "Leave her. Now."
Is that what this is about? He would send probes through to their world? To try and get me back?
He knows I would do the same thing.
"You won't."
Oh, yes he will.
"You've read my file. Think again."
The mention of the contents of his file makes me wonder for a moment. What things are in there that would make the entity realize that he wasn't lying?
It's not my place.
"I must preserve."
The shaking is getting more intense, now.
"Fine, stick to your guns, then," Jack says in a fed-up voice.
"Jack?" Daniel repeats.
Jack whips around to face Daniel. "Daniel, we're going to do this my way." His voice rises as he speaks.
"You can't," the entity types. My fingers move frantically across the keyboard.
"General?" Jack says without looking at General Hammond.
"You're damned right we can," General Hammond says into the microphone.
Good. Make the thing scared. I don't care what you do to it. Whatever you have to do, let it be done.
I know what that might mean for me. I'm not going to focus on that. I'm going to focus on that damn entity getting out of me.
Whatever it takes…
"No, please." My fingers hover nervously over the keyboard as it waits for their response.
"Leave her," Jack repeats in the same threateningly quiet voice.
"I must preserve."
"If you want to preserve your world, leave Major Carter right now."
His voice rises slightly.
The shaking gets worse. I'm staring at him, and he is staring back at me. Can he see me? Can he see that I'm in here?
The entity pulls the wires from my head and gets out of bed. Where is it going? What is it doing?
Jack turns to the SFs. "Stand down," he commands. "Let her go."
It's just taking me down the hallway, towards the MALP room. They won't let it get there.
I hear Jack, Daniel, Teal'c, General Hammond, and Janet run up. They watch as the entity raises my arms and spikes of energy travel up into the walls.
My vision begins to fade. What is going on? What is it doing?
As the scene before me wavers, I see Jack hold up the zat. The look on his face is one of pure devastation. He hesitates, giving my body time to stop whatever it is that it's doing. When it doesn't, he zats me once.
Everything goes black.
When I wake up, I think that I am back in my body, fully in control once more. That's all I could hope for.
I'm not.
I know right away that I'm in the nest in the MALP room. I don't know how to describe it here. It's… dark.
I can't see anything. The only way to communicate is through the same interface that the entity had used once before.
Where is my body? What are they doing with it? Have they already let me go?
Janet, as my doctor, knows about my living will. I told Jack, also. What did he have to say?
If there is even one sliver of hope…
I have to try to communicate with them, see if they'll be able to see that I'm here.
"I am here," appears on the interface. Now, all I have to do is wait.
I open my eyes.
It feels so good to be in control of my body again. The entity is gone, and I'm out of the nest.
I find myself staring into Jack's chocolate eyes.
"Hey, Carter," he says gently. "Where have you been?"
"It's gone?" I ask, just to make sure.
"Yes, it is," General Hammond says.
I don't look at him. I just continue looking at Jack.
"I was shouting for you to hear," I say softly.
Jack looks directly into my eyes. He lifts his hand as if to take mine, but then drops it back onto the bed, by my side.
"We heard," he said quietly.
"So, I hear the Doc is releasing you today," Jack says from the doorway.
I pull on my BDU jacket. "Yeah. She's making me go home, though."
Jack nodded his head. "That's why I'm here. Jack O'Neill, chauffer, at your service."
I smile. "Thanks, Sir." There is no point in trying to argue with Janet. She'll give me the choice of Jack as my driver, or an SF.
"You know," Jack says as we leave. "Daniel and Teal'c are waiting at your house."
"Are they?" I ask.
"Yeah. They have cake."
Author's Note: Well, there it is. I've always wondered what she was thinking while she was trapped. I also have another fic that I want to post. It's set during Singularity, and it's what would happen if Sam had realized that Cassandra would survive after she made it back to the top. Obviously, the timeline would be altered a bit. Is it worth putting up? Tell me what you think. Review, please?