A/N: SO. I was bored just now, looking through a bunch of folders on my computer, and I found this! It's a crackfic collab that me and my bud PGC worked on together for a while, but it turns out we never finished it…not that I know of, anyway. Eh, whatever. Let's just get on with this mess! :D
EDIT: I just got a review from a person named Yukio who asked me if I was in the "HOO fandom." In response to that question, even after Googling that, I still have no idea what that is, so the answer is no. I just heard "OMZ" from PGC. Ask her.
EDIT (again): ...Aaaand I just realized that "HOO" stands for "Heroes of Olympus." Which is basically Percy Jackson. So yes, yes I am. :p I have yet to do any Percy Jackson fanfics though. I don't have any in the works.
Accidental Stalkers
~ a strange Alex Rider fanfic collaboration by PeppyGothChick and RandomPerson164 ~
PGC: GUESS WHAT? HI! :) This is a thing me and my friend are doing to see what would happen if Alex Rider came to our school and ran into us.
RP164: Yep! At the moment we were pretty hyper from chugging Easter candy, and somehow we ended up talking about this! Like I never say: the best stories come from the most insane.
PGC: And so the tale begins.
-x-
PGC: *walking towards mysterious looking forest thing with RP164* OMZ! You're right! Cody Simpson could so be Alex Rider in disguise!
RP164: Well you know, that's the only possible way that he can still be out there. After all, in Scorpia Rising people were always trying to- *stops walking* Wait a second, I think I hear something...
PGC: *also stops walking* OMZ, your right.
Alex Rider: *runs out of the Forest* Oh um... Hi.
RP164: Hello magical stranger! What brings you - OMZ YOU'RE ALEX RIDER!
Alex: Um, yeah...
PGC: HOLY EPICNESS THAT IS ALEX RIDER! So he's NOT Cody Simpson in disguise... *Extremely Girly Fangirl Squeal*
Scorpia person: *pops out of forest* I shall destroy you, Alex Rider!
RP164: Wow, that was random. What are the odds of-*sees Scorpia person* OMZ WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?!
Scorpia person: *facepalm*
PGC: Don't worry, Alex. He is so going down.
Scorpia person: Uh oh, this can't be good.
RP164: *slaps Scorpia person with a copy of Scorpia* How do you like it now?!
PGC: *gets a copy of Scorpia and smacks him on the side of the head*
RP164: Oh the irony!
Scorpia Person: Hey! To let the both of you know, I am a highly trained assassin! And I did not enjoy that! Who are you guys anyways?
RP164: I'm a random person. Can't you tell from the little abbreviation on the side of my dialogue?
Alex: Um...Right.
RP164: *hugs Alex* By the way, you're NOT going to kill this guy. NEVER!
PGC: You got that right. *hugs Alex, then hugs Alex plushie*
Scorpia Person: Haha! You have a stalker.
Alex Rider: And you have haters.
PGC: First off, I'm not a stalker. Second of all, he does have haters. And I'm PeppyGothChick! *hugs Alex*
RP164: He does have haters. And if anyone's the stalker here, it's me!
Alex: Get me out of here.
RP164: I know where your uncle is probably buried...*fangirl squeal*
PGC: She does. Oh, I have a question for Alex. If you're not Cody Simpson, is he your twin because you look just like him.
Scorpia person: I'm going to go before I'm murdered by rabid fangirls. *runs away*
Alex: Cody Simpson? Uh, I'm an only child...
RP164: *hugs* I already knew that...And your favorite color's blue.
Alex: Woah, how did you do that? What shade?
RP164: Sky blue.
Alex: ...Wow. That's creepy…
PGC: We know everything about you. So you are Cody Simpson?
Alex: Why would you ask me that if you know everything?
RP164: ...Are you?
Alex: No...
PGC: So you are Cody Simpson?
Alex: *attempts to run away*
PGC: *grabs his arm* You have been kidnapped. *grins*
RP164: *drags them both away into dark forest*
Alex: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...
PGC:*girly evil laugh* We kidnapped Alex Rider! *Girly maniacal laughter then a girly fangirl squeal*
Alex Rider: Oh no... I don't think I'll be able to escape these two...
RP164: You can't! *hugs Alex*
Alex: This will not end well for me.
RP164: WAIT A SECOND!
PGC: What?!
RP164: ...I think we're just as bad as that Scorpia person!
Alex: NOW you get it.
PGC: There's a difference between us and Scorpia.
Alex Rider: And it is...?
PGC: We're not trying to kill you, and we love you instead of hate you. You still haven't answered our question. Are you Cody Simpson?
Alex: Oh not this again...
RP164: No, think about it. Both of us want to kidnap Alex Rider -
Alex: KIDNAP?!
PGC: Yes, kidnap! Why do you think were in the middle of the forest?
Alex: KIDNAP? You do realize that's against the law?
PGC: So? What's your point?
RP164: Oh no. My conscience...it's battling with my innermost desires!
Alex: *grabs magical appearing popcorn* This should get interesting.
PGC: Not like anyone's going to find him. Wait! Where'd you get the popcorn?
Alex: I used my magical epicness to get it.
RP164: *stands still staring into space*
Alex: Uh...is she okay?
Random computer voice (RCV): RandomPerson164 has shut down due to brain overload. Please wait 10 minutes before rebooting.
PGC: I think she's rebooting because of a brain overload.
Alex: No dip Sherlock. So, I guess we wait for ten minutes...
-10 minutes later-
Alex: ...So is she ok?
PGC: *shrugs*
RP164: *standing still*
Alex: Uhh...
RP164: *looks up* So what were we talking about?
PGC: *jumps back* AHH! You scared me!
Alex: Haha. So...
PGC: So where are we going to keep him? After all, he is Alex Rider and possibly Cody Simpson. By the way, he still hasn't answered that question.
Alex: Great. Why do you guys keep asking me that?
RP164: *stares at Alex and whispers* Because we want to know...
Alex: *groan* I was better off with the Scorpia guy...
PGC: No, the Scorpia person wanted you dead and we're... Um... Protecting you. Yeah, were protecting you from evil people!
Alex: *rolls eyes* Right. And my mother speaks Latin.
RP164: No way! Your mom speaks Latin too?!
Alex: I never knew my mother, you idiot! *starts crying uncontrollably*
RP164: *backs away and whispers to PGC* I think I broke him...
PGC: I think you did. *hugs Alex* Aww you poor baby... If you keep crying, I'm going to cry too!
RP164: I'm not! *starts bawling* I l-lied!
Alex: *sniffle* Wow, you guys are...weird...
PGC: I know were weird. Don't cry! Plz! We have Alex! Here hug him, it'll make you fell better!
Alex: Yeah! Wait, what?!
RP164: *suddenly stops crying and stares into the distance*
Alex: What the heck...is wrong with her?
RP164: *runs forward* SHINY THING!
PGC: I like shiny things too! What is it?!
RP164: *stares down at a bottle cap on the ground, smiling stupidly* Shiny.
Alex: Oh give me a break. I'm leaving. *starts walking away*
PGC: *grabs Alex's arm* Over my dead body!
Alex: *sigh*
RP164: *still staring at bottle cap* Shiny.
Alex: *rolls eyes*
RP164: *looks back up at Alex* No, I am NOT ADHD!
Alex: You guys DO realize that this fanfic does have to end eventually...right?
PGC: no... We can make multiple chapters.
Alex: *facepalm* Thats not what I meant.
PGC: oh, then yes, but we still kidnapped you. Oh, and you STILL haven't answered my question.
Alex: Can we save it for the next chapter? Or better yet, can you just LEAVE ME ALONE?!
RP164: *walks up to them* What are ya talkin' about?
PGC: The question that he refuses to answer. And no, we will NEVER leave you alone! So get that into your head cause you're stuck with us.
Alex: Crud.
RP164: Okay! *pokes Alex*
Alex: Hey, why'd you-
*a chopper is heard overhead*
PGC: A chopper? Really?
Alex: Finally! I'm saved! *yells up at the sky* Hey, down here!
RP164: *looks up* Hello people of the sky!
PGC: Oh, no. You're coming with us. *drags both Alex and RP164 to her house with out the helicopter people noticing*
-x-
Random MI6 dude: hey Bill, did you hear anything?
Bill: Shut up and drink your coffee, Tom.
Tom: OK.
-x-
Alex: Great.
RP164: *staring at PGC's lava lamp* You have a lava lamp?!
PGC: Yep. And be careful, it may explode cause I was playing with it...
Alex: *backs away from lava lamp* What did you do to it?
PGC: The question still remains unanswered!
RP164: Resisting...urge...to...poke! *pokes lava lamp*
Lava lamp: Boom! *explodes*
Alex: Of course that just happened.
PGC: Well, what do you expect? It is me we're talking about here. OMZ, are you okay?
Alex: *groans* Never better.
RP164: I think I broke my spleen!
PGC: Alex, quick! Use your magical epicness to unbreak her spleen!
Alex: Don't you mean heal her spleen?
PGC: I don't care what you call it!
Alex: ...You know, this fanfic has gone WAY too long already.
RP164: You're a party pooper, Alex!
PGC: He does have a point though. Maybe we should stop here and create a new chapter where Alex will answer the question that he STILL hasn't answered. What do you think RandomPerson164?
RP164: I think -
Alex: I'll never talk! NEVER! Besides, I'm trained to resist interrogation. *smug face*
PGC: Alex, you do realize we're fangirls and fangirls ALWAYS get the answers that they want.
Alex: Ha! I can survive you!
RP164: *holding chainsaw* Can you?
Alex: Uh...yes?
PGC: Wait, where did my pegacorn go? It was here before I left...
Alex: What's a pegacorn?
RP164: You don't know? *starts singing*
Alex: Oh no, not that!