I wouldn't have cried if they hadn't played that song. It was a dance, one to celebrate Voldemort's death, and our victory. Dora was getting drinks, leaving me alone on the dance floor holding Teddy. Then the song came on: I want to hold your hand, by the Beatles. Sirius and I had our first kiss to that song. After his death, anything related to him hurt, but that hurt especially, that night that we had supposedly won. We lost so much that it was hard to feel a high after the ultimate win. That song was supposed to be so light, so glad, but all it brought me then was pain, an icy fire in the pit of me. Teddy looked at me a way I'd never seen any baby do. There was something already wise in his eyes. It reminded me vaguely of Harry, and all the other teenagers and children who had seen so much more than anyone should in their few years. The tears flowed freely at every thought.
Harry was at my side within a minute.
"Remus, what's the matter?" he wondered, and when I looked at him, I only cried more. There used to be a innocence in Harry that always comforted me, but I realised it had been stolen from him. Shifting so that I held Teddy with my left arm only, I gave Harry a sideways hug. He looked at me curiously, and I simply whispered, "This war took more from us than it deserved."
Nodding, Harry answered, "Maybe, but Sirius, my parents, Dumbledore ... they knew the stakes. The did it for us." Harry gave me another quick hug and walked off to dance with Hermione again. He didn't seem to notice that what he said struck me right in the chest. I never even thought that Sirius died for me, and Harry ... I loved him even more with that thought. The song changed, and I found Dora weaving her way through the crowd. She gave me a questioning look which I shrugged off. Looking at her again, I convinced myself she was God's gift to me, for taking Sirius. Teddy squawked between us as if he knew my thoughts and wanted to remind me he was a gift too.
"You too, Ted. I love you."