So this chapter is also a part of my drabbles collection, and someone suggested that I give it it's own fic. I wrote a second chapter for it over a year ago, and completely lost it in all the random drabbles and ideas and files. I've just found it, so I thought I'd go ahead and start that fic. Enjoy.
The lies that have built a vivid picture of her factitious life are slowly being peeled away. To be honest, she's more than a little afraid that soon enough, all that will remain is the truth. It is a fairly recent development for her to be deeply concerned about that.
Making the three girls who have caused her to consider this place worth the possibiity of the end of her life forget they ever knew her isn't something she wants. But it's haunting her, thinking about the lack of recognition in their eyes, the absense of the love she's come to rely on to keep her breathing.
Her desire to live was all but extinguished when she came to Lima alone and broken, emptied of all the good in her not so human life. It only got worse once she procured the house and enrolled herself into school. She knew humans showed plenty of ill will to others of their species, but she was plenty surprised to learn that this method of behavior was also evident in children.
The way the three girls she could now say she loved had attacked her almost exclusively had caused her to take a closer look, and though many a time she considered leaving because of their very personal brand of torture, Rachel saw something in Santana, Brittany, and Quinn that drove her to persist.
She looked up at them now, catching eyes the color of a late, lonely night. Rachel could see the ever present fear in her. Fear of turning out to be exactly the person those who didn't have the pleasure of truly loving her thought she was. A whore, a bitch, un-lovable, unloving, undeserving of honest and innocent Brittany. Fear of being hurt by someone else she loved and trusted.
Rachel looked down again, this was going to hurt.
"Rachel whatever you have to tell us, we love you, it won't change anything, okay? We promise." Brittany reached out, long slim fingers caressing soft cinnamon skin. Diamond clear sapphire eyes softened for a moment while the blonde dropped her hand.
"Look, if this is some thing where you try to let me down easy or something, I don't need it, okay? Just say what you need to say."
"Quinn, please stop. That isn't what this is, I love you okay? We all do, baby. I would never hurt you intentionally. There's nothing wrong with you at all. I know that's what you're thinking, but I love you just as muh as I love Tana and Britt. Your fears about the three of us wanting to be together without you aren't true." Quinn narrowed her eyes, a delicate eyebrow lifting above golden orbs . Rachel frowned. Under other circumstances, she wouldn't even think about reading her girlfriends mind.
"How did you do that?"
"Did you really think that, Q?" Santana asked, her fear converting into pain.
"Did you just do what I think you did?" Brittany asked, eyes widened. Rachel had wondered for a few months after meeting the leggy blonde if she too was not of human origin. Brittany was in fact human, but her ability to read into people's actions and body language was beyond normal.
"I...I am not human! That is what I needed to tell you all. Okay?!" Rachel yelled, stepping back from the girls as three sets of eyes widened to varying degrees. The diminutive brunette listened in as Quinn questioned in her head whether she was awake, or if Rachel was lying to hide the truth of the three girls she called berrittana in her head. Rachel broadcasted to her without thinking.
'That isn't true. I already told you that, Quinn. Please stop trying to find nonexistent faults in yourself. I love you, baby. I couldn't live without any of you. It's why I had to do this.' Quinn visibly shook her head, looking up at Rachel in controlled panic.
"Oh god, she's not lying! She was just in my head!" Santana grabbed Brittany and Quinn's wrist, pulling them back towards the door.
"Really, Rae? Told you Santana. Told you. Talk to me too!"
'I'm so sorry for the lies. I didn't mean to hurt any of you. I came here to hide away, protect myself. But the three of you...were always attacking me, and when I found you behind the girls you pretended to be, I couldn't help the way I fell. I love you, Quinn, Brittany, Santana. I was so afraid to tell you. Afraid that you would react negatively.'
"Get out of their heads you freak! I can't believe you would do this to us! Lie after lie after lie. Why didn't you just fucking...i don't know...zap us when we were treating you like shit? It couldn't have hurt worse than this-"
"I still love you Rach, i'll help keep your secret too." Santana pulled a pouting Brittany further away as she and Quinn backed into the foyer.
"Please! I can't live without the three of you! I won't! Santana please. Stop and think about this. Last year when we watched I Am Number Four you said you'd be okay being with an alien. I remember. I thought that, that if I had to courage and need to tell you, you would be okay, that you'd still love me. I need you to still love me. I need you and Quinn both to say it, please. Please." Two blondes wrestled themselves free of the tallest brunette in the room, holding a thankful alien girl in their arms as they reaffirmed their love for her. Santana stood her back to the door, car keys in hand. Rachel whimpered as she locked it, once again having to pull out abilities she'd make sure to keep secret.
"I love you. I do. I'm not a robot, there's no switch for to just flick. But I'm not sure I can deal with this. I know what I said, but you know me and my fucking mouth. I never thought you'd be standing in front of me telling me you aren't from this planet. I'm sorry. But I don't think I can do this." The latina wiped the tears from her eyes when Rachel started to sob, collapsing to her knees.
"Then go. All of you can go. I won't take them from you, and visa...visa versa. If I have to let you go, I will. My fathers told me once that I could use this erase my own memories of people if it was necessary." She held up the thin, six inch visual memory modifier left to her by those she had long since lost. All three girls were in front of the door now, Brittany, kneeling down to run a hand through dark hair.
"Were you going to do that to us? Make us forget we said no?" Santana asked
"No. Make you forget you ever knew me. That I ever existed. Sell the house, erase my records from the school. Erase my presence from the minds of those who've heard of me or seen me. disappear, try to live with a destroyed heart. I expect...that I would fail, that in the end, I would end my life. Just please let me explain this, let me show you I'm the same person you've known."
"I'm sorry...I don't want you to hurt. I don't want to forget you. I don't want you to forget us. But what you're asking of us it too much. It's my job to protect the two of them, it alway has been. I just never thought it would be you I was protecting them from." Santana pulled the other two away and waited until Rachel unlocked the door. disappearing behind it when she did.
"Santana please!"
"I'm sorry." Rachel slowly lifted the memory editor from the floor, placing it over her eyes. When she heard the car pull away she pressed the button on the side, activating the interface that she operated with her mind.
'I'm Rachel Barbra Berry. I am leaving Lima, Ohio for New York tomorrow morning. No one in the town has ever heard of me or met me, with the exception of Santana Lopez, Quinn Fabray, and Brittany Pierce. Erase all other memory indents.' Rachel frowned when the word completed appeared.
'I am in love with Santana, Brittany, and Quinn. They do not love me enough to stay. Their denial of me hurts, but my heart is not broken. Imprint.' Complete
'The house is for sale, all communication is to be done via internet, transfer of funds through bank accounts. I have graduated from McKinley High. Verify.' Complete
'I can live without them. Imprint.' Complete