PRELOGUE
9 yrs. old
I sat on the edge of my queen bed and stared numbly at the pink wallpaper in my room. I suppose it hadn't really set in yet. Over and over in my mind played the words: Matthew died, Matthew died, your big brother, your only brother died, Matthew died, Matthew died… I couldn't help but think of how things were. How they never would be again.
Ever since I was little I had loved playing with Matthew and his best friend Daniel who were both two years older than me (but only one grade- I was young for my grade). The two were like brothers and were always playing and getting into trouble with each other. I loved being around them and always tried to follow them wherever they went. They always acted like they were annoyed but I suspected that they really didn't mind when I was around them. I was chasing after them just yesterday, though I was now nine years old and should have stopped by now. I thought of specific things: me running after them in the peach orchard behind my house, trying to be just as good as them at baseball, and trying to act tough when I was around them and scraped my knee. I remembered one summer when I was seven and they were nine and had both carved their names into one of the many peach trees in the giant orchard. That night, I snuck outside in my nightgown and carved my name underneath theirs, smiling at the effect.
I heard a noise to my right, coming from my window. For a moment, I thought it was Matt and Danny climbing up the trellis to either play a prank on me or sneak me out of the house, like they had done on occasion. Then I remembered that Matthew would never do anything like that again. When I heard the familiar yet faint squeaking of my window being opened, I slowly turned my head to the right. I let out a breath at the welcome sight of Daniel coming into my room. I thought it would hurt to see his familiar face but it did the opposite; it made me feel better. I knew that if there were one person in this world that would be hurting as much as I did right now, it would be Danny.
The bed bounced slightly as he sat next to me. He didn't say anything and neither did I. Even so, the pain eased just a bit.
All of a sudden it came crashing down on me. My brother was dead and I would never see him again. I longed for him to hug me or tell me that he loved me just one more time. What I would give for him to even say that I was just a girl and couldn't play with him and Danny. I instinctively tried to cover up my emotions, tried to act tough in front of Danny. My chin quivered as I tried desperately to stop the tears that I could feel flooding my eyes.
I felt warm arms around me as Danny pulled me into his lap. The tears were running freely now and I leaned my head against his shoulder. I threw my arms around his neck and sobbed. Danny was silent but I felt a tear drop onto my arm from his face. I looked up into his tear-filled, deep, chocolate brown eyes, seeking reassurance.
"We'll be okay, Emmy," he whispered. I liked how he said "we".