it's been too long since i wrote fanfiction. and i've been apart from the tri-tone universe for too long my fingers were aching. anyway, the third part of the series!
read, ponder, and enjoy!
There's magic in our bones,
A north star in our soul,
That remembers our way home
-Sleeping At Last, Body
Felicity
Oliver
Laurel
Barry
Thursday (2nd February 2017)
(9:13 a.m.)
help
(9:41 a.m.)
I've helped you plenty
(9:41 a.m.)
she can't cook
(10:12 a.m.)
I'M LAUGHING
(10:13 a.m.)
Shouldn't you know that already
(10:13 a.m.)
you forget that she and i didn't regularly see each other until recently
(10:13 a.m.)
Yeah, but like, you've…slept over
(10:13 a.m.)
we usually eat something else as breakfast
(10:21 a.m.)
This is where I stop you and tell you good luck and that I do not want to hear anything about my best friend's sex life.
(10:24 a.m.)
you'll probably find me in the hospital later today
(10:32 a.m.)
Okay, I know she can't cook, but she also does not poison. You're just gonna have diarrhea for a couple of hours. Trust me. I've been there.
(10:33 a.m.)
i explicitly asked for help
(10:33 a.m.)
Not gonna happen because I have a girlfriend who's waiting for breakfast in bed
Perfectly edible breakfast.
(10:33 a.m.)
that was uncalled for.
Saturday (4th February 2017)
(3:56 p.m.)
Call your boyfriend
(4:12 p.m.)
What
I'm in the middle of a meeting
(4:13 p.m.)
I can't just call my boyfriend because I feel like it
What's going on anyway?
(4:15 p.m.)
He misses you and he's being an ass to both me and MY boyfriend
Fiancé*
Can you believe I still have to get used to calling Tommy that?
We've been engaged for months.
I'm pathetic
(4:16 p.m.)
Anyway
Call him.
End our misery.
Take him away from us.
I just want to kiss my fiancé without our best friend gagging each time
(4:16 p.m.)
Remember when you and Tommy always made stupid noises when Oliver and I only show a little bit of PDA?
What do they call it?
(4:17 p.m.)
Karma.
(4:34 p.m.)
Felicity
This is not sisterhood
This is not what feminism is about
Don't disappoint me
(4:36 p.m.)
Oh don't you bring the feminism card into this conversation. There's no correlation whatsoever.
(4:36 p.m.)
Felicity
Please.
He keeps showing up when we're just about to do the deed
He's being a real cock block.
(4:38 p.m.)
I DON'T NEED TO KNOW THAT
Also, can't. Because, you know, some of us have to work on the weekends
Which is cruel
But the salary helps
(4:43 p.m.)
I hereby rescind my declaration of liking towards you
(4:51 p.m.)
You can't.
You need me to fix your computers and phone too much.
(4:51 p.m.)
You're mean
(4:56 p.m.)
Enjoy being cock blocked, Ms Lance ;)
Friday (10th February 2017)
(10:12 p.m.)
So Oliver told me something really interesting just now
(10:13 p.m.)
Nothing he says is interesting
(10:13 p.m.)
As his girlfriend, I am offended on his part
As a person who's renowned for turning a conversation interesting in the most embarrassing ways, I agree
Which is why it surprised me when this is ACTUALLY interesting
(10:13 p.m.)
Should I be scared
(10:14 p.m.)
Depends on what you're willing to do to keep my mouth shut
(10:14 p.m.)
I won't rule out murder
(10:17 p.m.)
That's illegal. Your dad's literally a cop.
(10:35 p.m.)
You also forget I'm the district attorney
(10:35 p.m.)
Laurel, honey, I can spread the news on the internet before I release my last breath
(10:35 p.m.)
Guess this is what they call mutually assured destruction
(10:35 p.m.)
Who's the capitalist and who's the communist?
(10:37 p.m.)
None of those are appealing
(10:38 p.m.)
Explain to me how we went from this very rarely interesting thing that Oliver told me to the Cold War
(10:48 p.m.)
That's normally how it goes with you, isn't it?
(10:50 p.m.)
While that is true, RUDE OMG
Anyway, are you ready to be blackmailed?
(10:51 p.m.)
Shoot.
(10:51 p.m.)
In a church? Really?
(10:56 p.m.)
You there?
(10:58 p.m.)
Did you die?
(11:01 p.m.)
Should I call 911?
(11:05 p.m.)
I'm gonna kill him
(11:06 p.m.)
I mean, Oliver, I understand
But you? A woman of the law? A woman who understands the importance of swearing by the Bible? Really?
(11:07 p.m.)
I am both appalled and proud
(11:07 p.m.)
We were 19
(11:07 p.m.)
You told me you knew you wanted to be a lawyer since you were 15
(11:08 p.m.)
We were also horny
I'm surprised you're taking this so calmly
(11:08 p.m.)
Oh I wasn't calm at all
I laughed my ass off
I'm actually more surprised that Oliver even went to church at all
(11:09 p.m.)
Did I mention I hate you
(11:09 p.m.)
You really don't
Does Tommy know?
(11:09 p.m.)
Oliver tells him everything
(11:09 p.m.)
And he said nothing? I might applaud him for his gentlemanly ways
(11:10 p.m.)
Not that condoning pleasures of the flesh in a holy ground is gentlemanly at all
But we all know the church is just a load of crap
(11:10 p.m.)
Oh yeah, your atheism just does not show with all the time you cringe at the mention of a church
(11:10 p.m.)
Oh yeah, I'm known for my subtlety
(11:13 p.m.)
And Tommy's done worse than doing it in a church
(11:16 p.m.)
Ooooohhhh
Pray tell madam
(11:16 p.m.)
:-)
(11:18 p.m.)
Do you want me to accidentally leak the news that Starling City's very own District Attorney once did it in a church?
Might I just clarify that I don't think that it's shameful
I mean, for Pete's sake, if you're a dude, it wouldn't be that big of a deal.
(11:19 p.m.)
But we were blessed with vaginas.
(Also I was totally joking about the leaking it out thing)
(But I won't rule out telling, you know, Thea, about it )
(11:20 p.m.)
You are a cruel, cruel woman
(11:21 p.m.)
I have my moments
Monday (13th February 2017)
(2:01 a.m.)
Dude
Since I've helped you a hell of a lot to get together with Felicity
I'm ready to cash in
(9:23 a.m.)
barry what the fuck
(10:42 a.m.)
Language
(10:45 a.m.)
what do you want
(10:45 a.m.)
Have you planned anything for tomorrow
(10:46 a.m.)
what's tomorrow?
(10:49 a.m.)
Of course you don't know what tomorrow is
Why would you?
Fucking Casanova who humps and dumps and doesn't even get blamed for it
(10:52 a.m.)
hey this is not how you cash in
and what's tomorrow
(10:56 a.m.)
It's Valentine's Day, you idiot
Your girlfriend, my best friend, will be waiting for you to serve her with chocolates and flowers and a nice dinner and the best sex of her life
And you won't have anything to give for it
Plus, that will be the last time I mention your sex life
(11:04 a.m.)
crap
i give her the best sex of her life all the time
(11:05 a.m.)
and i'm pretty sure felicity's not the kind of girl who wants chocolates and flowers
(11:05 a.m.)
I said that's the last time about your sex life
Sometimes I wonder if I should have helped patch you and Felicity together
Honestly, my best friend deserves better
(11:08 a.m.)
barry, enlighten me
(11:09 a.m.)
Sometimes
A girl, no matter how strong and independent she is, just wants to be wined and dined so she knows that she's appreciated
(11:11 a.m.)
help
(11:16 a.m.)
You are wasting my time.
I just want to cash in on the favor(s).
(12:43 p.m.)
tommy just gave me a great idea
(12:43 p.m.)
I'm gonna regret this
Honestly, I'm just such a nice person.
What idea?
(12:45 p.m.)
i think it's better if all three of us come out and discuss our plans
(12:46 p.m.)
What plans?
Oliver, I don't know Tommy.
Also, I JUST WANTED TO CASH IN ON THAT FAVOR JESUS CHRIST WHY ARE YOU MAKING THIS SO HARD
(12:53 p.m.)
jitters in 20 min
(1:02 p.m.)
Oliver!
For fuck's sake.
(8:45 p.m.)
I think Tommy's up to something and I'm not sure I like it
(8:56 p.m.)
Weird, because I feel like Oliver's up to something too
(9:02 p.m.)
Wait, Caitlin just sent me a text and said that Barry's acting weird
(9:03 p.m.)
We're not gonna die, are we
(9:06 p.m.)
If anyone is
I think it's the boys rather than us
I can't imagine the three of them doing anything together
(9:08 p.m.)
Caitlin agrees, said that there's highly likely chance that it'll turn out hazardous
(9:12 p.m.)
Tommy just told me that there's something he needed to deal with at the club
It's Monday
(9:14 p.m.)
Oliver just said the same thing…
Caitlin said Barry was craving Subway and went out before she could say anything
(9:14 p.m.)
Do we investigate?
(9:15 p.m.)
I don't know
You're the lawyer
(9:19 p.m.)
You're the genius.
(9:20 p.m.)
While I'm flattered, I will leave the decision making to you.
(9:23 p.m.)
Actually, I'm too tired for this. What say we leave the boys to their shenanigans and we go out for a cuppa?
(9:34 p.m.)
I endorse this idea
I'll let Caitlin know
Jitters in 20
Tuesday (14th February 2017)
(7:27 p.m.)
[Incoming call]
"This is emergency situation. Code One. Oliver left me a note, asking me to go to Verdant."
"I got the same note."
"The fuck is going on?"
"Also, Caitlin just came barreling through my door, waving the same note from Barry."
"Is it cowardly of me to say that I'm scared?"
"Let's just go and see what they're up to."
"I'll meet you there."
(7:56 p.m.)
[Incoming call]
"Where are you?"
"Oliver's office. Where are you?"
"My note told me to go to Tommy's. Caitlin went to the basement."
"I think Caitlin's chances of getting murdered are getting higher."
"It's Tuesday, and there's no one here. Why is there no one here?"
"I have – Oh."
"What? Felicity, what is – Oh."
"I gotta – I gotta go."
"Yeah me too."
Wednesday (15th February 2017)
(9:56 a.m.)
you have some pipes on you
(10:08 a.m.)
Likewise.
(10:09 a.m.)
best sex of my life
(10:09 a.m.)
While I normally refuse to talk about your sex life, I have to say: same.
(11:59 a.m.)
Best sex of my life.
(12:09 p.m.)
That church can go suck it.
(12:10 p.m.)
Virtual high five, sister.
well this just became a clusterfuck of i dont know what the fuck this is