__________________
Anything for money......
----------------------------
A/N: Yes, I am aware that I have done Blue's Clues before. But you know, it's just out there waiting for someone to make a parody of it! I mean think about it: No one would have made the show had they cared if it was made fun of! It's just common sence. Annnnd on with the show!
Summary: Blue's Clues, starring.... Zelgadis and Lina?!
-----------------------------------------
Zelgadis: There is NO WAY you're going to make me put that on!!!
Lina: Come on, you've done it before!
Zelgadis: This is utterly inexcusable! You told me I'd never have to put that ... that THING on again!
Lina: Well you're gonna put it on now!
Zelgadis: WHY SHOULD I?!
Amelia: Well, that's very simple!
Zelgadis: It is?
Amelia: If you don't do it, Lina's going to fill your life with misery and woe. :)
Zelgadis: And if I kill her first..?
Lina: Trust me, you won't. Now PUT IT ON!
Zelgadis: Why don't YOU put it on?!
.
..
...
....
.....
....
...
..
.
Zelgadis: (in monotone) Hi kids. It's me, Zelgadis...
Kids: Hi Zelgoobas!
Zelgadis: *sigh* Have you seen Lina.
Amelia: No, Zelgadis! Make it sound like you're looking for her.
Zelgadis: This is utterly inexcusable! I quit!
Lina: (in a bunny suit) You CAN'T quit!
Zelgadis: WHY NOT?!
Kids: There she is!
Lina: Huh? Oh. Bu-buki! Come on, Zel! Say your lines already!
Zelgadis: Come on in....
BOOF!
Zelgadis: Stupid blue screen!
Kids: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HE RAN INTO THE DOOR!
Lina: You're supposed to PRETEND to walk through the door!
Zelgadis: I know that, stupid! I was just standing too close to the screen!
Kids: Um um um um um!!!
Zelgadis: WHAT IS IT NOW?!
Kids: You said a bad word!
Zelgadis: Stupid is NOT a bad word!
Kids: It's not?
Zelgadis: No!
Kids: Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid!
Lina: Oh great. You taught them a new word!
Zelgadis: It's not my fault!
Amelia: Yes, actually, it is.
Zelgadis: Just SHUT UP!
Kids: Um um um um um! He said Shut up!
Lina: CONTINUING ON!!! Zel, say your lines!
Zelgadis: I am most certainly NOT going to say my lines! They're retarded!
Kids: Retarded retarded retarded!
Lina: Amelia! Tell him to say his lines!
Amelia: Say, your lines, Zelgadis! Not for Lina, but for all the happy little kids out there :) :) :)
Kids: Retard retard retard!
Zelgadis: I'll say it, but it's most definately NOT for those kids...
Zelgadis: So, Lina. What would you like for a snack.
*Lina draws a big pawprint on the camera with shoe polish*
Zelgadis: Why don't you just TELL me, stupid?
Kids: Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid!
Lina: Read your dumb script! It says we need to play "Blues Clues"
Zelgadis: Then get Blue in here so we can leave!
Amelia: But the artist commited suicide!
Zelgadis: Then get the stupid host in here so I can leave!!!
Amelia: He moved to Korea!
Zelgadis: THEN GET A STUPID REPLACEMENT FOR THE DWEEB!
Kids: Dweeb dweeb dweeb dweeb dweeb!
Amelia: But nobody will sign up for the job!
Zelgadis: Then why did WE sign up for the job?!
Lina: MOOLAH! $_$
Amelia: We need the money so we can book a nice hotel!
Zelgadis: Let's just book a CRAPPY hotel!
Lina: NO WAY! SAY YOUR DANG LINES OR I'LL TIE YOU UP IN A BAMBOO MAT, SMASH YOU UNTIL YOUR BONES ARE RUNNY PULP, THEN THROW YOU INTO A HOT SPRING!!!
Kids: Runny pulp! Runny Pulp!
Zelgadis: *sigh* That's a great idea. We can play Lina's clues to find out what you want to eat. Will you help us kids.
Kids: SHUT UP!
Zelgadis: OK, I've been persuaded enough. Let's go already!
Amelia: Once you finish the show!
Zelgadis: WE ONLY HAVE TEN MINUTES LEFT ANYHOW!
Kids: A clue! A clue!
Zelgadis: Where.
Kids: on your sword!
Zelgadis: Lina!!! You put shoe polish on my sword?!
Kids: Now we have to get out our handy dandy notebook!
Zelgadis: I don't have one.
Kids: SIDETABLE DRAWER! It's in sidetable drawer!
Zelgadis: Side table drawer?
Amelia: That box.
*Zel pulls the notepad out of the carboard box*
Voice from nowhere: Hi Zel!
Zelgadis: What the --?!
Gourry: Psst! It's me!
Zelgadis: Just when I thought things couldn't possibly be more humiliating...
Gourry: Hi! I'm Side-Table drawer! Here's your notebook, Zel!
Zelgadis: I already got it, stupid!
Gourry: Oh yeah, I forgot...
Zelgadis: OK, I got the spiral. Now what.
Amelia: You have to draw the sword.
Zelgadis: OK..... *sketchy sketchy sketch* OK, now what?
Amelia: Let me see it.....
*flashes picture of sword*
Amelia: Zelgadis! This is WAY too hard for kids to draw!
Zelgadis: Then have them go take art lessons. I don't have time for this! OK, Lina. What ELSE did you draw on?
Kids: A clue a clue!
Zelgadis: Where.
Kids: On mokona! (see my username, Mokona the Marshmallow god.)
Zelgadis: Ok..... *sketch sketch* Thank God it's almost over...
Voice: Hello!
*Zel turns...*
*...and we see Gourry hiding behind the couch holding a plastic shovel and bucket*
Gourry: I'm shovel! AND I'm pail! What a coincidence!
Zelgadis: That's great, Gourry...
Gourry: Can you help me? I mean, us?
Zelgadis: No.
Lina: You need to help them, Zel!
Zelgadis: THEY'RE INANIMATE OBJECTS! And where did you come from all of a sudden?!
Lina: I'm supposed to come help you help Gourry!
Zelgadis: WHY?!
Amelia: It's in the script, Zelgadis.
Zelgadis: HECK WITH THE SCRIPT! I QUIT! (storms off the stage)
*.... where he comes across Xellos*
Xellos: Having fun? :) :) :)
Zelgadis: (throws script at him) HERE! YOU take over!
Xellos: Oh, I can't possibly do that! I must insist you finish the show! :) :) :)
Zelgadis: I MUST INSIST YOU SHUT THAT LIP OF YOURS!!!
Xellos: That's not very friendly :(
Amelia: (from onstage) ZELGADIS!!! WE NEED YOU!!!
Lina: (also onstage) COME ON, ZEL! YOU'LL ONLY BE HUMILIATED ONCE!!
Gourry: (onstage too) Hello pail! Hello shovel! How are you? I'm just fine, and you? Very well, thank you! Say, would you like to play hide and seek? We can't, because we're both me! That doesn't make any sense, pail! I'm not pail, I'm Gourry! Then what happened to pail? I AM pail! @_@ I'm confusing myself...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WILL XELLOS TAKE OVER THE SHOW? WILL LINA REALLY DO ALL THAT STUFF SHE SAID SHE WOULD? DO I HAVE A COOL ANNOUNCER VOICE OR WHAT? WHERE'S PAIL?! ALL OF THIS AND MORE WILL BE UNCOVERED IN THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF LINA'S CLUES! Please R&R! Thanx!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gourry: Gee, pail, what does R&R stand for? Golly, I don't know Shovel! Let's ask Gourry! Hi! I'm Gourry! AND Shovel! AND Pail! Hi Gourry! I'm pail, and shovel, and you! Wow, what a coincidence! Gourry, what does R&R stand for? Well shovel and pail and me, I really don't know! We should play Gourry and shovel and pail's clues to find out! But Gourry and pail and me! This is Lina's clues! Is it really? Yes! OK, forget I said that. What did you say? I don't know, I forgot! Gosh, Gourry and Shovel and me, you're so dense! But Pail and Shovel and Me, I told me to forget. Forget what? Um ..... I forgot what I was supposed to forget... Gosh, I'm so stupid!
.................
Gourry: Say what?
Anything for money......
----------------------------
A/N: Yes, I am aware that I have done Blue's Clues before. But you know, it's just out there waiting for someone to make a parody of it! I mean think about it: No one would have made the show had they cared if it was made fun of! It's just common sence. Annnnd on with the show!
Summary: Blue's Clues, starring.... Zelgadis and Lina?!
-----------------------------------------
Zelgadis: There is NO WAY you're going to make me put that on!!!
Lina: Come on, you've done it before!
Zelgadis: This is utterly inexcusable! You told me I'd never have to put that ... that THING on again!
Lina: Well you're gonna put it on now!
Zelgadis: WHY SHOULD I?!
Amelia: Well, that's very simple!
Zelgadis: It is?
Amelia: If you don't do it, Lina's going to fill your life with misery and woe. :)
Zelgadis: And if I kill her first..?
Lina: Trust me, you won't. Now PUT IT ON!
Zelgadis: Why don't YOU put it on?!
.
..
...
....
.....
....
...
..
.
Zelgadis: (in monotone) Hi kids. It's me, Zelgadis...
Kids: Hi Zelgoobas!
Zelgadis: *sigh* Have you seen Lina.
Amelia: No, Zelgadis! Make it sound like you're looking for her.
Zelgadis: This is utterly inexcusable! I quit!
Lina: (in a bunny suit) You CAN'T quit!
Zelgadis: WHY NOT?!
Kids: There she is!
Lina: Huh? Oh. Bu-buki! Come on, Zel! Say your lines already!
Zelgadis: Come on in....
BOOF!
Zelgadis: Stupid blue screen!
Kids: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HE RAN INTO THE DOOR!
Lina: You're supposed to PRETEND to walk through the door!
Zelgadis: I know that, stupid! I was just standing too close to the screen!
Kids: Um um um um um!!!
Zelgadis: WHAT IS IT NOW?!
Kids: You said a bad word!
Zelgadis: Stupid is NOT a bad word!
Kids: It's not?
Zelgadis: No!
Kids: Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid!
Lina: Oh great. You taught them a new word!
Zelgadis: It's not my fault!
Amelia: Yes, actually, it is.
Zelgadis: Just SHUT UP!
Kids: Um um um um um! He said Shut up!
Lina: CONTINUING ON!!! Zel, say your lines!
Zelgadis: I am most certainly NOT going to say my lines! They're retarded!
Kids: Retarded retarded retarded!
Lina: Amelia! Tell him to say his lines!
Amelia: Say, your lines, Zelgadis! Not for Lina, but for all the happy little kids out there :) :) :)
Kids: Retard retard retard!
Zelgadis: I'll say it, but it's most definately NOT for those kids...
Zelgadis: So, Lina. What would you like for a snack.
*Lina draws a big pawprint on the camera with shoe polish*
Zelgadis: Why don't you just TELL me, stupid?
Kids: Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid!
Lina: Read your dumb script! It says we need to play "Blues Clues"
Zelgadis: Then get Blue in here so we can leave!
Amelia: But the artist commited suicide!
Zelgadis: Then get the stupid host in here so I can leave!!!
Amelia: He moved to Korea!
Zelgadis: THEN GET A STUPID REPLACEMENT FOR THE DWEEB!
Kids: Dweeb dweeb dweeb dweeb dweeb!
Amelia: But nobody will sign up for the job!
Zelgadis: Then why did WE sign up for the job?!
Lina: MOOLAH! $_$
Amelia: We need the money so we can book a nice hotel!
Zelgadis: Let's just book a CRAPPY hotel!
Lina: NO WAY! SAY YOUR DANG LINES OR I'LL TIE YOU UP IN A BAMBOO MAT, SMASH YOU UNTIL YOUR BONES ARE RUNNY PULP, THEN THROW YOU INTO A HOT SPRING!!!
Kids: Runny pulp! Runny Pulp!
Zelgadis: *sigh* That's a great idea. We can play Lina's clues to find out what you want to eat. Will you help us kids.
Kids: SHUT UP!
Zelgadis: OK, I've been persuaded enough. Let's go already!
Amelia: Once you finish the show!
Zelgadis: WE ONLY HAVE TEN MINUTES LEFT ANYHOW!
Kids: A clue! A clue!
Zelgadis: Where.
Kids: on your sword!
Zelgadis: Lina!!! You put shoe polish on my sword?!
Kids: Now we have to get out our handy dandy notebook!
Zelgadis: I don't have one.
Kids: SIDETABLE DRAWER! It's in sidetable drawer!
Zelgadis: Side table drawer?
Amelia: That box.
*Zel pulls the notepad out of the carboard box*
Voice from nowhere: Hi Zel!
Zelgadis: What the --?!
Gourry: Psst! It's me!
Zelgadis: Just when I thought things couldn't possibly be more humiliating...
Gourry: Hi! I'm Side-Table drawer! Here's your notebook, Zel!
Zelgadis: I already got it, stupid!
Gourry: Oh yeah, I forgot...
Zelgadis: OK, I got the spiral. Now what.
Amelia: You have to draw the sword.
Zelgadis: OK..... *sketchy sketchy sketch* OK, now what?
Amelia: Let me see it.....
*flashes picture of sword*
Amelia: Zelgadis! This is WAY too hard for kids to draw!
Zelgadis: Then have them go take art lessons. I don't have time for this! OK, Lina. What ELSE did you draw on?
Kids: A clue a clue!
Zelgadis: Where.
Kids: On mokona! (see my username, Mokona the Marshmallow god.)
Zelgadis: Ok..... *sketch sketch* Thank God it's almost over...
Voice: Hello!
*Zel turns...*
*...and we see Gourry hiding behind the couch holding a plastic shovel and bucket*
Gourry: I'm shovel! AND I'm pail! What a coincidence!
Zelgadis: That's great, Gourry...
Gourry: Can you help me? I mean, us?
Zelgadis: No.
Lina: You need to help them, Zel!
Zelgadis: THEY'RE INANIMATE OBJECTS! And where did you come from all of a sudden?!
Lina: I'm supposed to come help you help Gourry!
Zelgadis: WHY?!
Amelia: It's in the script, Zelgadis.
Zelgadis: HECK WITH THE SCRIPT! I QUIT! (storms off the stage)
*.... where he comes across Xellos*
Xellos: Having fun? :) :) :)
Zelgadis: (throws script at him) HERE! YOU take over!
Xellos: Oh, I can't possibly do that! I must insist you finish the show! :) :) :)
Zelgadis: I MUST INSIST YOU SHUT THAT LIP OF YOURS!!!
Xellos: That's not very friendly :(
Amelia: (from onstage) ZELGADIS!!! WE NEED YOU!!!
Lina: (also onstage) COME ON, ZEL! YOU'LL ONLY BE HUMILIATED ONCE!!
Gourry: (onstage too) Hello pail! Hello shovel! How are you? I'm just fine, and you? Very well, thank you! Say, would you like to play hide and seek? We can't, because we're both me! That doesn't make any sense, pail! I'm not pail, I'm Gourry! Then what happened to pail? I AM pail! @_@ I'm confusing myself...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WILL XELLOS TAKE OVER THE SHOW? WILL LINA REALLY DO ALL THAT STUFF SHE SAID SHE WOULD? DO I HAVE A COOL ANNOUNCER VOICE OR WHAT? WHERE'S PAIL?! ALL OF THIS AND MORE WILL BE UNCOVERED IN THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF LINA'S CLUES! Please R&R! Thanx!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gourry: Gee, pail, what does R&R stand for? Golly, I don't know Shovel! Let's ask Gourry! Hi! I'm Gourry! AND Shovel! AND Pail! Hi Gourry! I'm pail, and shovel, and you! Wow, what a coincidence! Gourry, what does R&R stand for? Well shovel and pail and me, I really don't know! We should play Gourry and shovel and pail's clues to find out! But Gourry and pail and me! This is Lina's clues! Is it really? Yes! OK, forget I said that. What did you say? I don't know, I forgot! Gosh, Gourry and Shovel and me, you're so dense! But Pail and Shovel and Me, I told me to forget. Forget what? Um ..... I forgot what I was supposed to forget... Gosh, I'm so stupid!
.................
Gourry: Say what?