Hellooooo. Sooo this is sin't really a story, but just random compliation of short once-shots I had written a while ago and thought it would be a little something fun to share. This one for instance, was a request by an old friend of mine who asked me to write a funny short story of the four friends being goofy as usual. So here it is for all to giggle at. Just for the fun of it…and a sudden writer's block on my stories, I have come up with this one shot while daydreaming and I thought it was something funny to laugh at, so I'm sharing it for all to giggle at.

In this one shot it is Alicia and her friends, normal modern day friends deciding to go on a little vacation camping trip and it takes an unexpected turn. Hope you like!

Those giant wolf things were NOT fun. They were NOT mentioned in the brochure, were NOT at all an enjoyable part of the trip. Alicia grumbled to herself. "Jeeze, the whole idea of a get-away is just that. To GET AWAY!"

Michelle was squatted next to Jeremy both sporting their own bumps and scrapes. Jeremy took one nasty hit to his shoulder, but was able to roll with it and retaliate thanks to his training in the military. Michelle was roughed up too and sported a nasty gash on her left leg.

Lonnie's arms took the worst of his injuries as he used them in defense until he could get around that ugly screaming attacker and bash them down. Alicia's left arm and leg was the worst for her. At least they were still alive, but if they didn't get the help they needed, and one of them caught infection, then it wouldn't matter much. And who knows what wild anials they could attract with the scent of blood.

Lonnie cursed as he grimaced. " Damn. Someone needs to get to the main road and find some help."

Michelle took out her phone, frowning at it dejectedly. " I've got no service out here."

"Alright. We go in different directions and look for clues, but not too far. Someone stays here for when we all return. Jeremy you should stay since you seem to have the most injuries." Alicia said with that hanging 'does that sounds good?' underlying question. No one objected, so it was agreed. The three other friends picked directions and set out to find any sort of civilization.

Alicia looked about the woods. She marked her trail with digging up obvious marks with her feet as she went. But if she was in trouble wouldn't that lead danger right back to her friends? There was always a debate about everything in her mind right now. Easily stepping out into a clearing she was relieved to see that just up ahead was the tree line. But no real road was to be found. Meandering around a large tree, she stepped out to see if maybe there's a farm house or something in the distance. Her shoulders dropped. There was nothing out there but another tree line far out. Green rolling hills and a soft wind with open sky was what greeted her. She was about to turn back when she heard neighing and voices.

'People?" Alicia whispered to herself. Were they friends or dangers? What should she do? They were coming closer as she debated in her head again.

Finally she ducked into the woods, hiding behind a tree. Her heart was fluttering if she should take the risk or not, but she made herself stay and not run away. She peeked around the tree watching for the passerbies.

Only two voices spoke in English, while the others were in some gravely harsh sounding language she did not recognize.

Alicia's eyes widened like suacers. The people that approached were all dressed like mini Vikings! What was this?! She looked for a camera crew, but there was none. Some of them were frowning while some laughing. A tall old man in grey rode at the front alongside a stoic looking black haired guy with…armor pieces on? Now she was really questioning whether to get their attention or not. Alicia bolstered up her courage and called out when they got a little closer. "Hello!"

The entire caravan went stiff as a board, hands flying to their waists where no doubt their weapons were. Beady eyes under bushy brows glared in her general direction for the source.

"Who's there?!" The black haired man up front ordered.

Alicia gingerly stepped around the tree, she held up her hands in a kind of peaceful gesture and refused to get closer to these strange men. "Hello." She said again.

All narrowed eyes were on her, staring her down with questioning expressions. She picked her words carefully. "My camp was ambushed, by big wolves and their riders. I need to find medical assistance."

Silence and more glares.

She started frowning too. She just heard them speak English it's not like they couldn't understand her!

Then the old grey man finally said something. "Oh dear. Trouble seems to have become more frequent these days." He slid off his horse, clear concern in his eyes. " Come my dear and tell me what happened."

"It could be a trap Gandalf." The black haired man up front said. "Does it not strike you as strange for one lone woman to be out in the woods by herself?"

Beside him, a bald, burly tattooed man grumbled out something in some guttural language that earned a few nods of agreement behind him.

Alicia's brows furrowed even more as she looked at them. " I've got an emergency on my hands. If you could at least give me directions to the nearest civilization that's good enough. If not, sorry for bothering you." Her friends were injured she didn't have time for this! She spun on her heels and started limping back in to the woods till the old man spoke up again. "Just a moment young miss please. Excuse my companions. They are always suspicious of everyone. I will help you."

"We do not have time for this." The blue eyed grump grumbled out. " Not again."

Gandalf whirled back to face him with his own frown. "If you are afraid then by all means, ride ahead and Master Baggins and myself will stay."

She watched them bristle at the comment, but none of them actually budged. The old man, Gandalf turned back to her, his eyes drifted to her left arm and leg with concern. " Please tell me what happened."

"My friends and I were ambushed by these big wolf riders. We were able to take down most of them but not without getting chewed up a little ourselves. I need to find a doctor." Alicia summarized.

"A doctor?" Gandalf asked with surprisingly genuine confusion.

'Seriously?! Who doesn't know what a doctor is?' "Uh, someone to help with our wounds. And some directions because we're lost would be greatly appreciated."

Gandalf frowned. " Where are your friends?"

"They're looking for help too or back at camp." Alicia answered.

"Well, let's see what can be done." Gandalf started.

"Are you a doctor?" Alicia asked, not moving yet.

"I know some skills, but my companion master OIn here is a healer by profession. I will go with you to fetch them, and He shall be glad to tend to them." Gandalf said evenly.

Alicia wasn't hundred percent sure about it, but what choice did they have? So she turned and escorted him back to the camp.

Lonnie openly stared at their newcomer, jabbing a finger at them. " Who is that?! Did you go to Narnia? What the hell?!"

Gandalf rose his brows, again in confusion of those words. "I am Gandalf the Grey. Your friend here has told me of your plight and I've come to aid. I have companions of my own able to help if you'll allow them."

Lonnie's eyes flickered over to Alicia, who merely shrugged helplessly while saying 'beggars can't be choosers. Where's Jeremy and Michelle?"

As if on que the other two appeared back in camp. Jeremy eyed Gandalf much the same way the others were looking at Alicia.

"Who's this?" Michelle asked.

"This is Gandalf. He's willing to help us. He's got fourteen other guys, on horses, also looking like Narnians, who may or may not want to help us."

Gandalf shot Alicia a slightly put off frown. " I assure you we will offer what we can spare." He said then turned back to the carnage. " After all, I do believe you saved us from a night of trouble."

"What do you mean?" Michelle was quick to ask.

"Let's not tarry. The others are waiting for us." Gandalf said instead.

She could see that her friends were reluctant to go, but after a beat, everyone picked themselves up and their gear, without overly straining themselves and followed Gandalf back. Alicia seriously hoped she wasn't leading them into a trap.

They were greeted by grumbling that quickly ceased when all five came out of the woods. Everyone balking and gaping at each other like they were aliens. Gandalf cleared his throat. " Oin?" He said and switched to that other language.

From the crowd came a grissled grey haired, short man, clamboring down his shaggy horse and lumbering his way to the four friends. So too, did the black haired man approach.

Oin, smiled up at them, motioning for Lonnie to present his arms while he dug through his satchel.

"So allow me to properly introduce everyone." Gandalf said. " This is Thorin Oakenshield, the leader of our merry gathering. There's Dwalin, Balin, Gloin, OIn here, Fili, Kili, Dori, Nori, Ori, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur and Bilbo Baggins. How may we call you?"

"That's a lot of names to throw at someone at once." Michelle answered scratching her head. Jeremy gazed back in a stoic manner, offering a polite nod once Gandalf was done.

" I'm Alicia." She introduced herself first.

"Jeremy."

"Michelle."

"Fuck! That hurts!" The others turned their eyes on Lonnie who was grimacing at how Oin was applying some kind of salve on his arms.

"And that's Lonnie." Alicia jerked her head towards him. She couldn't help the smile at his sudden outburst.

Oin certainly didn't seem bothered by his complaints. In a weird way that comforted Alicia. It impled he was quite used to it with previous patients.

Then it was Alicia's turn, and yes. Whatever that stuff was it did burn. " Ouch." Alicia said.

Michelle watched her. " Are you going to cry?" she smirked.

"NO, too many people are watching. I can't be a pansy right now. What do you think I am?" Alicia joked back, making them snicker.

Gandalf turned to Thorin. " These young ones were attacked by orcs and their wargs, the hunting party that was searching for you to be precise. I saw the bodies. They defended themselves rather well and with few survivors."

Thorin's face hardened with whatever was going through his mind. He stared at Gandalf as if they were trying to speak telepathically before turning back to the newcomers. Oin had moved to Michelle next.

"Thank you for your help." Michelle said to him. The elder glanced at her with a rather blank expression, eyes flickered to Thorin before he looked back down to her leg.

"Only three of us can speak the common tongue." Thorin said swiftly. " Myself, Gandalf and the Hobbit."

"The what?" Lonnie asked.

"The hobbit." Gandalf said frowning at Thorin. " Who's name is Bilbo."

Bilbo Baggins, did have a small little pout on his face, and forced a smile when attention was on him. " Yes. Nice to meet you." He said from his pony.

Oin moved down the line. Jeremy didn't do anything more than grimace. Lonnie sitting next to him egging him on. "Come on cry. You know that burns like hell."

"Lonnie if you don't stop I'm going to kin you alive make chops out of your skin and make you eat them upside down over a sand pit." Jeremy mock threatened him.

Michelle scratched her neck. " yeah…maybe it's a good thing not a lot of people can understand us.."

Alicia nodded in full agreement.

"Will you tell us why the four of you were out here in the first place?" Thorin veered the conversation.

"We were on a vacation trip, getting away from busy lives for a little. We found what we were told was safe camp grounds. Until out of nowhere these, whatever you called them, came out at us." Alicia explained.

"Wargs are the beasts and Orcs their riders." Gandalf rehittereated as he leaned on his staff. "Terribly sorry for your holiday being ruined. From whence had you come?"

"We were in The Stephan F. Austin grounds." Alicia answered.

"The where?" Gandalf blinked.

This guy. He seemed like he didn't have much of an understanding of anything Alicia was trying to communicate.

"I've never heard of this Stephan F. Austin. Who is he?" Thorin asked.

And now Alicia too was looking at them like they were weird.

"It's the name of the large camp grounds we had decided to take our holiday on." Michelle answered. "It is a really large site, but it was SUPPOSED to be safe."

"Know you how to get back to it, or preferably, home?" Thorin questioned. He was answered with sighs, slouched backs and frustrated expressions. "I see."

"Can you tell us where we're at now?" Jeremy asked next.

"We are in the Weather Hills." Their leader answered.

"The Weather Hills?" Michelle parroted. None of them had ever heard of that place. Where on earth were they?

"Hmm. It seems that you four are more than a little lost. We've not heard of where you're from and neither have you heard of where you are now." Gandalf concluded. "I cannot, in good conscious, leave you out here on your own after having defeated a threat intended for us."

Thorin's face hardened again, but this time he said nothing. It was hard to tell if he disagreed with Gandalf or not. Oin grunted once, turning to Thorin as he spoke. "He says that you four are very lucky to have survived with only theses wounds. Luckily there are no infections and if you take it easy they will heal properly."

"Thank you for helping us. I appreciate it." Alicia smiled.

Thorin nodded his head once slowly. He looked at Gandalf again with that frown. The old man hardly was effected by it. " They are not the ungrateful rascals from before. We can afford to aid them. Tis the least we can do."

Thorin had this silent sigh before he mumbled out a 'fine.' and turned back to the four friends. "Miss Alicia, you shall ride with Balin. Miss Michelle shall ride with Bofur. Master Jeremy shall pair with Bilbo and Lonnie with Ori." With that he turned on his heel back to his own pony. Alicia's left arm was in a temporary sling and her left ankle was wrapped up properly. She looked at her friends with an encouraging smile before they got up. The men were all watching them with mixed expressions of amusement, suspicion still and curiosity. It was weird and a little awkward at having a group of silent men staring at them. Alicia turned to her friends. " So. Ya'll remember how to get on a horse."

"Fuck no." Lonnie grumped

"Not really." Michelle admitted.

"Alright. Let me show you. So you're riding wiiith Bofur. Which I assume is this one looking atchu' like 'Hey gurl." Alicia joked when a man with a floppy hat approached smiling happily at the two.

Michelle giggled at Alicia's joke as they approached. "Alright so you take his stirrup. This foot triangle. You put your right foot in it, left hand on the saddle and right hand on his shoulder."

"What if I pull him down?" Michelle asked as she did as instructed.

Bofur's smile spread a little wider.

"He's knows how to prevent that from happening." Alicia reassured with her own smile. " Swing your left leg around and you sit on the horse."

Michelle slowly swung herself up and got comfortable. "Oh. Easier than I thought." She smiled.

Alicia looked at Jeremy who was already swinging his leg over and getting situated behind Bilbo. Bilbo looked a little daunted but politely said nothing. She then turned to Lonnie who was grimacing again.

"What's the matter? Is he your riding partner?" ALic I said beside him thumbing at this sweet looking young guy in purple.

"Yeah and he's got guard dogs." Lonnie said.

Alicia looked back and saw what he meant. Two other riders near Ori, glaring down at Lonnie like they were ready to jump him if he so much as breathed wrong. "Well, They'll deal with it. It's only temporary. We'll get to the next town and won't have to worry about it again." Alicia said as she approached. Offering up a friendly smile, Ori blushed a little and nodded. He quickly averted his eyes straight. " Come come come come." Alicia joked at Lonnie in a mock indian accent.

Lonnie sighed and approached trying not to stare back at this silver haired dwarf who looked all puffed up like a blowfish.

"So. Take the stirrup." Alicia instructed.

The two other riders were glaring laser beams at Lonnie, making him And Alicia started snickering out loud in the awkwardness.

Lonnie took his time precariously climbing up on the saddle behind Ori. "They're saying something about my weight aren't they?" He jokingly grumbled.

"Yes." Alicia smiled.

"You get along with people why don't we trade?" Lonnie continued as he got comfortable.

"Because I'm a fat ass and you're like ninety pounds that's why. It's a weight balance." Alicia joked.

All four friends snickered at how opposite that really was. Lonnie was a rotund fellow. Alicia was a rather skinny girl.

"Trust me ya'll wanna see something funny? Watch me get on a horse." Alicia said. "I'll be monkeying all over this poor man's back. So who's Balin. Oh. The one staring at me?" Alicia half smiled as her eyes met the brown eyes of a white haired dwarf sitting comfortably on his white pony with a friendly smile of his own.

"Yeah he's probably thinking the same thing. 'I'm stuck with the damn monkey girl.' Lonnie teased.

"Shutup." Alicia mock grumped.

Balin was a patient man, still smiling kindly down at her as she approached. She smiled back up at him, no doubt with the most lopsided smile in the world. Her eyes drifted down to his stirrup then. " I don't how I'm going to do this."

"Whimp!"

"Need help?"

"No! You stay where you are. I am NOT losing anymore dignity." Alicia grinned as Balin obliged in letting her remove the stirrup. "It's just going to be one awkward, and possibly mortifying moment, and then it'll be over." Alicia fitted her good foot in the 'foot triangle' ignoring her friends snickering. "Oh wait, I got this." She said with more confidence as she thought it through.

Balin extended his arm out for her to use as leverage, which she took full advantage of, hoisting herself up the side of the pony, her face almost mushed in his hair to balance, swinging her leg around to plop on the horse. "Success."

Thorin up front had been watching them the whole time, and his men. Some of them seemed to have found the four friends bantering entertaining. While others frowned at some of the harsh words and wisely said nothing. He wasn't entirely sure how to take these strange humans either. They were in a nasty situation that could have spelled the end. Now with the Company's aid they were much more at ease. Or perhaps they used the humor to keep themselves level headed? Humans…

The last Men they helped seemed helpless and harmless at first, until Bifur caught them in the middle of a hushed conversation in wanting to rob the dwarves blind in their sleep or lead them into a trap. They believed he could not understand Westron either since he could not speak it. Their mistake that led to their demise. So now Thorin jumped at the opportunity to do it again and maybe see what these new odd young ones were about. His blue eyes fell to Gandalf's back. The wizard always inclined to help every single creature he passes by. He had also better have an easy way for them to restock on more supplies after these four new mouths to feed.

"How far IS the nearest town bythe way?" Michelle asked, peering around Bofur's hat.

"We are near the half way point between Bree and Rivendell." Gandalf said over his shoulder. " Currently headed towards Rivendell."

"We are not going near that place." Thorin hissed.

"What's there?" Alicia asked.

"Elves." Thorin replied, flicking a strand of hair from his face.

"Elves?" Jeremy frowned.

"Why do you say it with such distaste?" Alicia couldn't help but ask.

"Becuas ethey are not to be trusted. They care more for their vanity than helping others in their time of need." The leader explained.

Gandalf rolled his eyes. " Lord Elrond is not the same as Thranduil. The high elves are quick to help any weary traveler."

"Where would you recommend then? If not Rivendell?" Alicia couldn't help but ask.

"Ered Luin. Or the Shire doesn't seem so bad." Thorin advised.

"How fart are those places from here?" Lonnie asked from the near rear of the line.

" The Shire is about a week's travel from here. Ered luin is a month roughly."

"uuuh.." Michelle gaped.

"Yeah. We're a little more limited than that." Alicia mused.

"Let's hope the elves will be friendly towards us." Michelle sighed.

"Am I the only one who really realized he just said 'elves'?" Lonnie griped. "We really about to deal with some point eared tree dancers? How do we know when to say sir or ma'am?"

His three other companions chuckled quietly at his silly question.

When the evening time came around, Thorin called for camp to be set up. The four friends were all too happy to get off and stretch their sore muscles. Thorin talked to his men in their native tongue, urging them to whatever duties was just assigned to them.

"We should do the same." Jeremy mumbled. He grabbed their hatchet, setting out to gather firewood. Michelle smiled, congratulating herself on thinking to bring extra food supplies. Alicia saw Thorin, Gandalf, Bilbo and Balin in some conversation and bolstered up the courage to approach them.

"Sorry to bother." She announced her presence. " Would you happen to have a map I could borrow for a moment?"

Thorin looked at her pensively for a beat before muttering to Balin. The older dwarf, who was never short on kind smiles, reached into his bag at the side and handed her folded parchment. "Thank you." Alicia said politely and made her way back to her friends.

They were huddled over the small fire Jeremy had produced. "Feels like these guys are talking trash about us." He whispered.

"Yeah they keep glancing at us like we're going to bite them or ignoring us completely." Michelle replied. " You think they're really dwarves or just vertically challenged body builders who live in colder climates?"

Alicia snorted bemusedly as she laid out the map. "Either way, our welcome is limited. I'm borrowing their map, so let's make a copy of how to get to Rivendell real quick."

Jeremy and Alicia liked to draw them most, so the two of them made their own copies of the way to Rivendell from here.

Michelle kept subtly glancing at the others in her paranoia of being watched, while Lonnie tried lightening the mood with his joking about. The sky turned from orange to purple and eventually the night sky. All were gathered around two fires. One being Thorin and his men, the other being the young campers. Alicia returned the map to it's rightful owner, Lonnie's jibes echoing behind her.

One of the older dwarves, the silver haired one who was glaring at Lonnie nearly the whole time they were riding, grumbled out something harshly that had Alicia looking at him curiously.

Thorin, who had his back turned, swiveled around to face them again, his face a solemn mask. "Why do you allow your companion to speak to you so disrespectful towards women?"

A smile spread across Alicia's face. "Because then I get to tell him to Shut the fat up Lonnie!"

Her friends erupted in muffled chuckles and quiet jibes.

Bilbo's mouth opened and close like a fish. Even Thorin's frown quirked up in the slightest of smiles.

It made Alicia happy to see that she made everyone smile a little as she meandered back to her camp.

"Sooo.." Michelle whispered. "I can't help but notice a few details here and there, implying that those men know more than they're letting on." She whispered quietly into the others' ears.

"Just play along with it for now." Alicia whispered back. Despite their situation, she was having fun and wondered how fun it would be to make them admit the truth by laughing too hard at her and her friends' antics.

Ta-daaa! Yeah nothing too out of the ordinary. Just laughable fun. I hope it made you smile today and if you happen tohave little one-shot requests, I'd love to hear them.