1. Rebirth of the two cousins
Author's note: This is the sequel to Painful Meetings. In this story, we will follow Rûsa as he faces a totally new life in Aman and his fight to survive in this unknown world of freedom. Reviews are always welcomed
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Fourth Age of the Sun, year 12. Seven years had now passed since the Rebirth of the Feanorians and their father Feanor. For the past years, they had been living in Formenos, the stronghold where Feanor once had been exiled to for 12 Years of the Trees. Yet now Formenos were no longer a place of exile, it had grown into a real city over the past 3 Ages and famous for its mix of Noldor and Avari populations. While not all of the Avari Elves lived there all year around, it was still the biggest one of the chosen meeting points for the nomadic Avari tribes.
"This was a nice trip with the Wood clan. Do you think we can try that again?" asked Celegorm as Feanor's whole family was returning to Formenos after spending a month-long travel trip with Taurion's tribe. Despite that things sometimes could be a little awkward between Maedhros and Taurion because of what had happened between them in Angband, the House of Feanor had gotten the honor of becoming honorary members in the Wood clan.
"And risk you boys getting drunk like that again to the point of almost starting to strip in front of everyone? Don't even think about it." warned Nerdanel, showing that she still was not too happy over the events that had happened the evening before. Similar agreements was heard from her two law-daughters where they were riding beside their husbands. Lucky Maglor and Curufin were wise enough to keep their mouths shut while the others laughed friendly.
"I do not think I will taste that wine again…" moaned Amrod, as he held a hand to his forehead as a sign of the hand-over he still had. Caranthir prevented the older twin from falling out of the saddle with a light push to his shoulder.
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When they almost were back at the gate to Formenos, they noticed that some of the fellow blacksmiths in the city seemed to wait on them.
"Is something wrong? I hope that it has not been anything really of a crisis during the month that we were away?" asked Feanor as he rode up, being in the front of the group of riders that was his many family members.
"No, sir. Not in that kind of way. It is just…well, maybe one hour ago or so, there was some new arrivals from the Halls of Mandos. And…one of them is…"
The blacksmith did get to finish what he was about to say, as suddenly Huan caught the scent of someone he had not smelt in a very long time and hurried ahead with a loud bark.
"Huan, wait!"
"Sorry, we have a hunting dog to catch before he frightens someone of the new arrivals half to death." Celegorm excused himself before riding after his hunting dog. Sighing, Feanor nodded to the others to come as well.
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Following after Huan was fairly easy, as he went straight to the house where Feanor and Nerdanel lived. While most of their children had moved out over the seven years after their Rebirths, Maedhros and Caranthir were still living with their parents for different personal reasons.
"Ah! Huan, no! Down! It is not the right moment for your friendly greetings I am afraid!"
It was Celebrimbor, dressed in the typical light blue robes that signaled that he was among those who just had been Reborn, who tried to keep Huan on a distance with one hand and fighting to keep hold of something he was carrying with his other arm.
"Huan, what are you doing? Get over here, your overgrown flea-bag!"
A sharp whistle from Celegorm made Huan leave Celebrimbor in peace. Signing in relief, Celebrimbor adjusted his hold on the cloth bundle he was carrying, happy over that Huan had not knocked him to the ground. While Huan was a gentle hunting dog, he still was the size of a medium horse and weighed as such too. He could remember it happening a lot during his childhood.
"Who on Arda is the poor soul that your dog almost attacked in all his friendly eagerness, Tyelko…Oh! Telpërinquar! My boy!"
When Astarë, Curufin's wife, saw who it was, she started to cry in happiness as she went to embrace her only son, who had been a half-grown child the last time she had seen him way back in the Years of the Trees 1495.
"Ammë…? Ah, please don't embrace me yet, it is a little hard since I am carrying something in my arms…"
It was not that Celebrimbor meant to drive away his mother, that much was clear, rather he seemed to want that the whole family could take this inside the house. Giving some quick orders to his younger sons to get the horses into the stable and bringing their travel bags inside the house once that was done, Feanor got Celebrimbor inside.
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Once inside the house, Curufin said:
"We have just started to wonder when you actually would be Reborn, son. Atar insists on not coming to the royal court in Tirion until that both of his grandsons were here and…well, you can guess what people's reactions on that is. Saying that it will be a repeat of the events that once lead to Atar's exile here in Formenos and all that."
Celebrimbor swallowed hard. He had been warned about this in the Halls just before he and Rûsa had left to be given their new bodies, so he was not so very surprised to hear it.
"I am sorry for not arriving earlier. But the final state before the Rebirth was very hard on Rûsa, all of suddenly he got into an very deep nightmare about his time in Angband again and it took some time for Lord Irmo to banish everything from the nightmare out of his mind. From what I know, it was a flashback taking place just before the Fall of Gondolin. Do I need to mention that a certain Fallen Maia were present in that nightmare?"
As he spoke, Celebrimbor removed his cloak a little so the Feanorian family could see the cloth bundle he was carrying in his arms. Seeing exactly what it was that her nephew was holding, Maedhros brought her hands to her mouth, her eyes widening and she looked like she was about to cry. There was Rûsa, peacefully sleeping at the moment, looking no older than one year old. His new little body showed no signs of the many scars that once had covered his first, adult body, apart from his V-shaped scar on the left side of his face.
"I do not know why the Valar put Rûsa's soul in the body of a one-year-old Elfling, but my best guess is that they want to give him a second chance to have a real childhood here in Aman."
"And naturally people will first mistake him for an eighth,very late-born Feanorian as the result of our parents marriage being back to almost normal again, before we can reveal that he is Nelyo's son…I have overheard people making bets on just that subject." said Maglor in a slightly worried voice. Before anyone else could speak, Maedhros had carefully taken her reborn son from Celebrimbor's arms and hurried upstairs to her own chamber. No one seemed surprised at her actions.
"Let Nelyo deal with her boy right now. This is her chance to finally be the mother to her first-born that she never got to be in the First Age." commanded Nerdanel as she placed one travelling bag in her husband's arms and nodded to Astarë to take care of her son.
"Right, I got a letter with me as well. It tells of the exact bodily and mental amount of damage my cousin suffered in Angband, so there are suggestions to how we can help him get free from his past…"
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It had started to rain outside when Maedhros entered her own chamber with her son in her arms. Carefully placing Rûsa on the bed, she opened the window a little to let in fresh air into the chamber after being gone for a whole month, but she also drew together the curtains so it became darker in the chamber.
"I remember myself how painful it was for my eyes the first times I saw the Sun rise on the sky. My eyes had become used to darkness after the Darkening of Valinor, the exile to Middle-earth and then the long year in Angband while I carried my son to full term…"
The memories were painful, even after all this time. But Maedhros refused to let the past sour this moment. Not now, when she finally had her son back to life. Picking him up again and sitting down in her private rocking chair so the slow, steady movements would calm Rûsa if he awoke soon, Maedhros could not help but notice how underweight Rûsa actually was even in his new body. He did not look like a corpse, but it was still something of past malnutrition seen in his face.
"My poor boy…you have such a long road ahead of you…everything will be so different for you here…I know, I remember just how hard it was for myself to start trusting my own brothers again after that Fingon saved me…I was so afraid…so afraid that they could harm me and give me pain…"
It was a strange, damp smell in the air around him. Like that of a lot of falling water from a small water fall. Rûsa was pretty sure that in Angband, this kind of smell would never be allowed to be felt by the slaves. The slaves were meant to be kept on a tight hold, using the allowed food and water along side the ever-present fear of punishment to keep the slaves in line.
"Where…is this place…? I don't…know it…"
His survival instincts, those who had helped him survive for so long in Angband, were screaming at him to wake up. To get up, to fight before someone spotted that he was in a weak state right now. But for some reason, he could not wake up. Rûsa wanted to wake up, but it was impossible. Something seemed to keep him in sleep, and it brought up memories of times when Sauron had used him as test subject for new drugs meant to bring the victim agony from the inside.
"No…not again! Not again! I don't want…!"
There were arms holding him still, did that mean he was about to get chained down again?
"Rûsa. Rûsa, calm down. It is nothing dangerous here. Mother is here."
That voice, that scent…
Slowly, Rûsa opened his eyes. At first, everything was extremely blurry and he could not make out anything. Then, the colours started to get steady, allowing him to focus his black eyes on a long, copper-red braid. Following the braid, Rûsa came to see Maedhros' face. She was very careful to not make any sudden movements that might frighten her son. An unexpected movement or loud sound could cause panic in Reborn people who had been enslaved in Angband for a very long time.
"Rûsa, do you remember who I am?"
His black eyes were wide in shock and disbelief, but to Maedhros' great relief, he did a faint nod. The shining in his eyes betrayed that he was about to start crying. She did not speak anymore, just gently held him close as she allowed him to take in the new, strange environment around them.
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At the same time, Maeglin entered Rog's smithy just as he was about to take out a message pigeon from its cage.
"Hello there, Rog. Long time no see."
"Greeting to you as well, lady Maeglin. Nice that you could come, I will get that design I mentioned in the letter."
Out of the former Lords of Gondolin, Rog was the one who had forgiven Maeglin the quickest back in the Halls of Mandos when he had learned that she had been taken to the horrors of Angband before involuntarily betraying the Hidden City of Gondolin. Few knew about it, but apart from being the oldest former Lord of Gondolin, Rog were also a former slave of Morgoth who had managed to escape from Angband just in time for being able to follow the Noldor on the Great Journey to Aman.
"Here it is."
It was a design of one small and one large dagger, a mix of Elvish and Dwarvish skills that would fit Maeglin's personal style very well. After all, she had not been affected by her few visits to the Dwarves with Eöl during her youth in Nan Elmoth for nothing.
"It looks good. Ada Eöl will like it as well. I can already hear the more pious lords and ladies at great-grandfather Finwë's court alongside queen Indis complaining about that it is not proper for a lady for wear weapons."
Rog snorted in disagreement. That she was more of a tomboy than a feminine woman was a very old issue for Maeglin, though Aredhel failed to see anything wrong in it alongside Eöl who simply was pleased in that his only child did some kind of physical work instead of being "a quiet, pretty little doll without personality to show up for possible suitors" as Eöl often called the high-born ladies at the different royal courts in Aman. In private, Maeglin and Aredhel had to agree with him in that.
"Sometimes people seems to forget that lady Maedhros was a female warrior back in the First Age as well the leader for her siblings."
"Yeah. She was not named prince Feanor's heir as his first-born for nothing despite that she was born as woman."
Looking around, Maeglin noticed something on a working table. A golden necklace with a set of emeralds, with a matching set of earrings and an emerald tiara. She held up the necklace carefully for a closer look.
"This is new for coming for you, making jewellery. Have you finally made up your mind about stop living alone and starting to court a chosen lady for possible marriage?"
"No, that is for a customer. He broke a hidden gift meant for his bride-to-be and needed some help to fix it."
Knowing that Rog was not very fond of lying or when people was nagging on him about his private life in that it was such a shame that he never had shown any interest in marrying, Maeglin did not ask any further about the jewellery.
"Well, thanks for the design. It will be fun to test this kind of dagger."
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Back in Formenos, Maedhros still held Rûsa close to her body as she carefully used the rocking chair to move back and forth. He was still not saying a single word as he looked around in her chamber, but at least his breathing had slowed down a little.
"It is no dangers here, sweetheart. It is only my own chamber."
Her sleeping chamber, be it in Tirion or here in Formenos, had always been big and airy with lots of light, a great relief when knowing how dark, small and confined the prisoner cells and slave pens could be in Angband. A careful knock were heard on the door, the sudden sound startled Rûsa and he looked around with a frightened look in his black eyes. Trying to calm down Rûsa was not easy, not when his whole little body was as taut as a bowstring.
"Please enter."
It turned out to be Amrod and Amras, both carrying something as they entered their older sister's chamber.
"Hi, sis. Since we all know how difficult it can be with solid food under the first days after a Rebirth, we made some chicken broth for both of our nephews. There is a plate with some scrambled eggs and fried bread for you here too." explained Amrod as he put the tray on Maedhros' writing desk and poured up milk in two glasses for them. Meanwhile Amras revealed that he had been carrying a few extra blankets in a more child-friendly size, which he now placed on Maedhros' bed.
"If there is something else you need, do not feel shy about calling, sister."
The two red-haired twins tried their best to not talk too much or not move too fast, feeling Rûsa's glare on them all the time they were in the chamber. After all, they remembered very well how badly Maedhros herself once had reacted on the barest hint of physical contact under the first difficult weeks after being saved from Thangorodrim.
"Count on that I might stay in here for the rest of the day. But I will try to bring down Rûsa tomorrow for a short while, just to give him a chance to meet the whole family without a lot of extra stress the very first day he is Reborn."
Nodding in agreement, Amrod and Amras were quick to leave the chamber before their presence stressed Rûsa too much. The scent of the chicken broth filled the chamber as Maedhros left the rocking chair and instead sat down at the writing desk with Rûsa in her lap. Gently and with great patience, she managed to finally convince get her son to taste a spoonful of the chicken broth. However, she did not expect him to suddenly start crying. Whatever it was a reaction on actually tasting food that was not meant for a slave meal or the events of the day catching up with him, Maedhros did not care. Putting down the spoon, she held Rûsa close to herself again, letting him cry without feeling any shame over crying in front of her.