Disclaimer: None of this is mine and I am not being paid
Rating: K+
Comments: I'm afraid this story is a bit pointless. It is my first fanfic and I have no beta, so please accept my apologies in advance.
It was 2 AM on a dreary rainy night. Tony Dinozzo, Ziva David and Timothy McGee were sitting in a car, staring at the door of Mr. Albert Daniels. Albert Daniels was the very small nerdish brother of two very large marines who had gone AWOL from their base after the body of their CO was found. Abby had discovered the two marines' prints all over the body and the case seemed open and shut. The only problem was locating the suspects
"I can't believe it!" exclaimed Tony for what seemed to Ziva to be the 100th time. "I can't believe I'm stuck in a car, with you and McGeek here, in the rain, watching this nerd's front door, when I should be in Miami, watching babes in small bikinis skipping around on the beach. And I can't believe that hot girl just walked in there. Even that 5 foot three sack of ugliness is getting more lovin' than I am".
McGee, who was sitting in the back seat, sighed deeply. "I have to say, I'm not overjoyed about the whole thing myself. I had plans for this vacation as well".
"Oh do tell Probie, what exciting plans did you have? A big systems upgrade?" asked Tony. McGee, too depressed to come up with anything better replied with a weak "bite me".
"Why couldn't Gibbs have passed this on to some other team? I've been planning this vacation for months" whined Tony.
"You know Tony, instead of asking us this question for the millionth time, you should have backed me up when I tried to convince Gibbs that this was a waste of time. I mean there is no way those two are stupid enough to come visit their brother, when they know we're looking for them. They're probably on their way out of the country already" snapped Ziva. Tony gave a cynical chuckle and pointed to Gibbs obvious interest in hearing his subordinates' opinions. "Besides" he said "If Gibbs thinks they'll be coming here, I'm sure he's right".
Ziva threw Tony a disgusted look. "You know, Gibbs is not a god. He can be wrong".
Tony agreed that while that might be right, he hasn't seen any precedent for it. To which Ziva suggested a medical procedure for removing his tongue from Gibbs's butt. "You are really suffering from a severe case of hero worship, Dinozzo".
"Everyone needs a hero, Ziva" remarked McGee, "Don't you have one?"
"Of course she has one, Probie" teased Tony "It's Daddy. Isn't it, Ziva?"
"Oh, I can't even start to stress how wrong that is, Tony" replied Ziva.
"So who is it: David ben-Gurion, Albert Einstein? The Marquis de Sad?"
Ziva gave Tony her best "very funny" look and replied that it was none of the above, although she has learned some techniques from the third name he mentioned and could demonstrate them if Tony insisted.
"Seriously" asked McGee "who is your hero? Is it some sort of super-spy?"
"No McGee. I have worked with some excellent people. But I find that they all put on their pants one leg at a time, just like the rest of us snobs".
"I think you mean slobs, Ziva" corrected Tony and added that surely Ziva had someone she admired above all others.
"Well in fact Tony, there is one woman, but she wasn't a spy or a soldier. I think it was around 1992. I was 16. There was a knifing.."
"A knifing?" asked McGee.
"Yes, a terrorist went on a knifing spree in Jerusalem. He stabbed two boys".
"And this woman stopped him?" asked Tony.
"No. She was just walking to the market, with her kids. She was a regular ultra-orthodox housewife. Anyway, after this guy stabbed the boys a whole mob of people caught up with him and started kicking the crap out of him. This woman saw this and, without thinking, just threw herself on the terrorist and protected him with her own body. She didn't move even though she had the crap kicked out of her. She saved his life, stopped a lynching".
"So your hero is an ultra-orthodox housewife that saved a terrorist's life?" asked McGee.
"Yeah, they asked her why she did it, if she wasn't scared. Do you know what she answered? She said she didn't have time to think."
Silence fell on the car as its occupants contemplated whether they would have done the same thing as that nameless woman did. Finally Tony decided to break the silence by asking Ziva why she wasn't more pissed off at the cancellation of their vacation.
"Weren't you looking forward to going to Miami with me? You're constantly complaining about how cold it is. I thought you were really looking forward to a bit of Miami heat. Not to mention the fact that it would give you a chance to see me in a Speedo".
"There you have it" said McGee "no wonder she isn't more upset. I'd think she'd be absolutely relieved".
"In fact, Mcgee" said Ziva "I was very upset at first. But I looked deep within my very soul and found the strength to forgive. I even wrote a Haiku about the whole thing."
"Your not going to make us listen to it, are you Ziva?" asked Tony.
"Well if you insist Tony. I think I got the number of syllables right. It goes something like this:
I have a week off
Going with Tony to the beach
Leroy Jethro Gibbs"
"That has got to be the worst Haiku I ever heard" said Tony.
"Really?" said Ziva, insulted "I thought it was rather good actually. Oh crap! Aren't those our suspects over there?".
Tony turned around towards the direction of Ziva's gaze and saw two large men fitting the description of the suspects.
The three agents readied their guns and climbed out of the car, Tony wearing a big grin.
"What are you so happy about?" Asked McGee
"It's like I always say" said Tony "The boss is always right".
Authors notes:
- Ziva's idol is indeed a real woman. This story has happened in Jerusalem, and although I don't know the woman's name, I will always admire her.
- Haikus are short poems that describe a moment in the present and are composed of three lines. The first and last lines should contain 5 syllables while the second line should be made up of seven syllables.