Despicable Me

Chapter One
Drenched in Sweat Really Does Suck

Did anyone ever remind me how hot it is outside? No. Did they go, "Hey, Roxas, you're gonna die in that!"? No. Did they both see me dressed in this damn sweater, and merely smile(one of them smiled anyway) and wave goodbye at me? Yes. So, now imagine if you will, a sixteen-year-old boy with blonde spiky hair, dressed in a stupid ugly gray sweator that reaches past his hands and clings to every single inch of his body, while standing at the beach.

Yes, readers, that is me.

As dumb as I sound, I actually thought it would be a good idea to wear this damn... damn... damn bear! But I swear, this is only partially my fault! If Demyx or Zexion had said something to me, I wouldn't be stuck in this situation- oh, ew, I can feel sweat dripping down my chest.

Cursing to myself, I lean to my other foot in the shade, trying desperately to claw this thing off of my skin. Oh, but Grandma decided to be nice for my birthday and buy me this stupid sweater that is two sizes smaller than my actual sweater size. Oh yes, the cruelty of clothing. Jesus, when is Demyx getting back? I feel like I'm gonna die out here.

Another sweat drop licks its way down my back. I whine and rub my back- Oh, oh ew! My sweater decided to suck up every drop of sweat and keep itself damp. Ugh, I think I smell. Demyx...

You readers might wonder why I'm not walking home. Well, there's a simple answer to that – I'm five miles away from the dorm. If I was under three miles radius of that stupid room, I'd be on my way right this moment, practically running. But there is no fucking way in hell I am walking five miles just to get to my dorm – all those hours in the sun (I'd be walking like a grandma after the second mile). Ah, I just can't handle that long being in that fireball above the earth.

And finally I hear it.

"Roxas? Where didjah go?" That stupid, blonde mullet-headed teenager yelled. Originally, I would be snarling at him, demanding to know why he left me out here in a fucking sweater, but at this moment I could care less. It was like he was sent from the heavens to take me out of this heat.

"D-Demyx!" I yelled, waving my arms around. Demyx looked over.

"What are you doing over there?" He asked, slowly walking towards me. As if he didn't know! I bet- OWW! Damn it!

"Damn it," I rub my eyes. Damn sweat – drippin' straight into my eyes! No wonder I'm getting more blind by the second.

"You okay?" Demyx's voice is closer now. Squeezing one eye shut to see if the pain will cease, I open the other eye and jump back a little.

"Did you just run across the beach?"

"What?"

"Nothing," I keep rubbing my eye, "Lets get out of here. It's fucking hot." The first step out of the shade and I immediately regret it. The sun feels like it's throwing fire at me, burning me and laughing evilly about it, because it's wanting to show how much it hates me. Gee, thanks, Sun.

"Aren't you sweating in that?" I heard Demyx's voice. It came from behind me. I sighed and spun around, feeling a couple of sweat drops literally fly off my forehead.

"Gee, do ya think?" I snap, "Why the hell didn't you tell me it was two hundred-fucking-degrees?" Demyx rubs the back of neck, and I can obviously tell he is thinking hard about this.

"Well-"

"Lets get into the car." I can't help that I'm both pissed and irritated, can I? It's Demyx's fault anyway – okay, some of mine, too, but it's almost all of his fault. And Zexion's. We can't forget sexy Zexy... ugh, I think I just gagged a bit.

"Right," I can hear him mumble, but I don't even look back at him. I'm already walking towards the parking lot, ignoring the weird looks I get from wearing this disgusting, sweat-soaked piece of clothing.

Without warning, I see a flash of red and black mixed together. I stop so sudden that it gives another flash-attack, and my head feels like it's spinning. Am I sweating more than usual? Why are there more sweat drops clinging on my skin? Oh, oh ew. This is absolutely disgusting. Sure, I'm not possibly the cleanliness person, but I try to be- ugh... I don't feel too good...

"R-Roxas?" Demyx whimpers. Holding onto my head, I strain to look at him, but my vision is blurrying up – badly. What's happening?

"Roxas? You don't look too good... are you okay?" I can't even utter a word. I can't comprehend anything anymore – nothing but one thought. Get me out of this damn heat!

Am I falling? No! I flair my arms out and grab a hold of Demyx's shoulder but out of pure surprise, Demyx falls over with me. We both hit the sand.

"Owwie... Roxas?"

Who turned up the heat? Ugh, God must really be pissed at me... what did I do? So what if I stole Kairi's music player before I left? It's not like... ugh... what was I talking about? I feel so faintish... and thirsty.

Extremely thirsty.

Somebody lifts me up. Demyx? What is he doing? I can barely move my feet, and I'm surprised too. Demyx seems like such a small kid – despite how tall he is compared to me. I wouldn't think he'd be able to support both his and my weight.

"A-Axel!"

Axel? Who's that? What's that? Is it like Demyx's nickname for Axe deodorant. Why would Demyx being talking about Axe deodorant when I'm on the verge of fainting?

"Who's the kid, Dem?" That voice... it's sending shivers down my spine. But I'm sweating my ass off.

"He's my roommate, now help me get him to the car!"

"Why should I?"

"Axel!"

"Fine, sheesh," Before I know it, I feel another arm wrap around my wa- hey! No touching the ass, dammit! I can barely mouth a sentence, more or less utter a sound. Who the hell does that guy – Axel? - think he is? Touching my- no, no, scratch that – grabbing my ass while I'm sick?

My vision is completely black now – no use trying to attempt to open my eyes anymore. But I'm so tired... no. I can't fall asleep. Not now. I want to know who this Axel guy is so I can give him a piece of my mind. Right now, right this minute!

No use. I opened my mouth to at least whisper, but to my realization, my mouth is crack dry. Like a desert. My tongue even feels like a log rather than an actually tongue. My throat feels the same, as well. Ow – it hurts to breathe!

Suddenly I feel myself lifted up – mind you that Axel guy is still grabbing my ass – and finally resting in a comforting leather chair. It smells of smoke and... sex? Ew, this isn't Demyx's.

I feel cold air blow at my face and chest, which wasn't all that pleasant, if you count the smoke and scent of sex blowing straight damn in my face.

"Demyx, can we take this sweater off the poor kid? No wonder he practically died out there." Oh thank you, random Axel person.

"Roxas seemed really determined to wear it, so I don't think we should," Shut up, Demyx! "until we know it's okay."

"What, we need to ask permission?" I heard two car doors slam shut. It would've made me jump – if I weren't so... exhausted... ugh, sleep... sleep... no! No, I can't fall asleep! I can't-

"Well, Roxas... er... y'know, he bites when he's angry."

I heard that jackass of a guy next to me laugh, and the control stick of the car move around. Then the car began to move. At least that's what I imagine is happening.

"He bites, huh?"

"Yeah... he bit me the other day for stealing his music player... and then he still kept that other music player – I'm not sure where he got that one from."

"Oh, really? Ironic – my sister lost her music player not too long ago to some kid."

All I could hear now was the complete silence that filled the smoke/sex scented car. The sweat that had grown accustom to my face had now cooled off, but now I felt like my skin became one of those hard candies – the ones where you lick it, then forget about it, and finally realize how sticky it is.

I let out a silent sigh. Might as well enjoy the time I have to ignore every damn person that usually comes up to me, talking about how uninteresting or how dramatic their lives are.

Yep, I think I'm beginning to enjoy this. In fact, this isn't too- oh, oh Jesus! Can someone tell that fucking idiot driving next to me to remove his stupid hand from my knee?

Ugh, so much for enjoying this.

Roxas is such a grump, isn't he?

Anyway I've been really iffy on this chapter. Almost three whole weeks (more like two) of deleting it and re-writing it. D; Please review - I'm not feeling very confident on this story. Oh, and I really do hate doing this, but since nobody really cares about my stories, I decided to put up a Reviews = Chapters thing.

I need five reviews in order to write the next chapter.

D; I honestly didn't want to do this, but I want to know what you guys think! Even if it's hate mail, I'll take it!

Ugh, I'm beginning to beg.

And I'm rambling. Anyway review please ;D