AN: Heyyyy ya'll... soo, I've been wanting to write this for a loooooong time but didn't know how to get started. But I had some ideas so here we go! I'll start off by saying this is the sequel to my first Captain America fic, "I'm The One Who's Gonna Save Your Life." This takes place post-Avengers and during CA:TWS and Iron Man 3. It mainly focuses on Captain America and my OC which is why it's listed under the Captain America category. But it also stars Clint Barton, Natasha Romanoff, and will have cameos from other Avengers. It's a mix of genres; hurt/comfort, adventure/action, romance, and humor. It stands apart from all of my other fics (besides "I'm The One Who's Gonna Save Your Life") and updates may be slow as I have like 3 other fics I'm working on XP. But I do already have some future chapters ready so who knows... A couple of disclaimers: 1) I do have an OC. If you don't like OCs, don't ready my story. Parts will be from her POV as well as the POV of Steve and Clint (and possibly others). 2) I do not own anything Marvel related. Any and all direct quotes from the films are the property of Marvel. I think that's it... From here on out ANs will be at the end of chapters. Please read and review and I hope you like! :) -CL

Dealing With Demons - A Captain America Story

Prologue:

It's been one month since the Battle of New York, as it came to be called. There's still wreckage, destruction surrounding Stark Tower. There are still bodies of lifeless aliens littering the streets. Clean up and construction crews have moved in. Buildings are in various states of repair. But the biggest change, the worst damage is what you can't see. It's in your mind, my mind, all our minds. Emotional, mental, psychological damage. They call it PTSD; post-traumatic stress disorder. The term's thrown around a lot in mainstream media. Especially with war veterans. Like Steve Rogers. But I never understood, not really, until it happened to me. It's like being a prisoner in your own head, your own mind. You're never free, not really. Even after all the evidence is gone. Even after everything's fixed. Even after time's gone by and routine settles back in. It's still there. The fear. The flashbacks. The demons. And we've all got to deal with the demons….

"I can't sleep most nights. Not all the way through anyway. I have nightmares. Or flashbacks. Sometimes things I saw. Sometimes things I imagine. And sometimes things that don't even make since. Things from… before. Way before. When I was little." Waverly blew out a sigh, the rush of breath blowing the fringe of her bangs up out of her eyes. "A lot of it involves Clint. What happened. What could have happened." She bit her lip. "And things that Loki said… about him. About me. It's always there. The second I close my eyes. Like the boogie man. Hiding in the dark."

"When I came out of the ice… when I woke up… they told me then. Said I had this condition; this post-traumatic stress disorder. I didn't think it could happen to me. Not after what Erskine did to me. But I guess I do. I had flashbacks, even before the Battle of New York. The worst ones were of Bucky. How I failed to save him. How it was my fault. If I'd never asked him to go on that mission…." Steve ran a hand through his hair. "And there's just the general feeling of not belonging… in this time, this world. It's a weird thing to know everyone from your life is gone. The whole world has changed. I mean aliens. From outer space. I watched a portal open up in the sky and I… I don't know if I could process it all if I hadn't been treated with the serum."

"I'd like to say things went back to normal after we defeated Loki. I wish that everything was like it once was. But it isn't. At least not for me. People are returning to their daily lives. But I can't. He's still there; in the back corners of my mind. I can't shake him. Not fully. I'll be with the team, on a mission, or with other agents and I'll just be overcome with anger… and hatred. I'll imagine hurting them, killing them, just like I had done under Loki's control." Clint's eyes were focused on the floor. His speech was broken, the difficulty of what he was saying making the words hard to flow. He blinked a few times, swallowed, took a breath. "Nights are just as bad. Or worse. I hardly get a decent night's sleep anymore. I wake up two, three times a night. Nightmares. I'll see myself killing Natasha, or Waverly, over and over again, just like Loki wanted. Or I'll see the truth I've kept from her and sometimes that's even worse. Her reaction to it. Her hating me." He sighed and wiped a hand over his face. "They're the only people in this world that I can honestly say I care about," he gave a short, humorless laugh, "Even if Nat doesn't believe in love. But I was willing to kill them. For Loki. And I don't know how either of them still trust me. Or Fury. He let me off clean. Said I wasn't in my right mind. Not my fault. No charges against me. But I still did it. I still have the guilt. Everyone may have forgiven me but I can't forgive myself. I remember all of it. Everything I did. Everyone I killed. And the one's that died because of me. Phil. God, Phil. That's on me. I've killed before; it's not new to me. But those kills were criminals. They were for the greater good. I'm supposed to kill the villains, not the heroes." Clint took a shuddering breath and looked up into the therapist's eyes. "Unmade. That's what I am. He stripped me of everything and used me. Unmade."

"Where are the Avengers?"

"I'm not currently tracking their whereabouts. I'd say they've earned a leave of absence."

"And the Tesseract?"

"The Tesseract is where it belongs; out of our reach."

"That's not your call."

Fury resisted an eye roll and simply shrugged. "I didn't make it. I just didn't argue with the god that did."

From their shadowed faces on screen, another member of the World Security Council replied. "So you let him take it, and the war criminal, Loki, who should be answering for his crimes?

Fury let out a single chuckle. "Oh, I think he will be."

"I don't think you understand what you've started. Letting the Avengers loose on this world. They're dangerous."

"They surely are." Fury couldn't keep the hint of pride from creeping into his voice. "And the whole world knows it. Every world knows it."

"Was that the point of all this? A statement?"

"A promise." With that, Fury swiped his hand over the touch screen, ending the conference call with the World Security Council. He turned and saw Agent Hill waiting for him at the door to his office aboard the helicarrier. She had a questioning look on her face. "Yes, Hill?"

"You're not tracking them?"

"Not at this very moment, no."

"Is that wise?"

Fury crossed to her and the two walked side by side to the bridge. "Maybe, maybe not. But they've been through hell and back. The deserve a break."

Hill looked confused. "But…. Sir, how does it work now? They've gone their separate ways; some extremely far." She thought of Thor and the magic that took him to Asgard a literal world away. She couldn't even comprehend it. "We get into a situation like this again, what happens then?"

"They'll come back." Fury's voice was confident.

"You really sure about that?" Hill was skeptical.

"I am." More confidence.

"Why?"

Fury turned to face her. His one eye locked gazes with her. "Because we'll need them to."

AN: This is supposed to be jumpy so I hope no one is confused. The stuff at the beginning is in first person from Waverly's POV. I usually write in third person but I thought that sounded cool for a prologue. The stuff following will make more sense later on. Thanks for reading! :) -CL