Are You Really going To Throw Your Heart Away?

"I love you."

He paused and slowly turned his head back to survey her, fixing his onyx eyes on the blue-haired girl. Her face contorted with distress, her eyes were now fixed onto the ground of the street they were standing on.

Sai knew that something like this was going to come up again, it'd happened plenty of times before with other girls, but he'd never expected Meizako to be one of them. In had been a while since Sai had been released from Root and joined Team Kakashi, and since then he'd learned numerous amount of things and met many new people.

One of them was a girl a year young then him. Her name was Meizako Nazikuo; she had long dark periwinkle hair, with sharp but kind golden eyes. Sai remembered the first time that he'd met her he'd called her hideous and unappealing, like he would've normally did to any girl, to his surprise and great disbelief, she in turn just smiled at him. After he'd learned more about being friendly towards people, he'd realized what he'd said was wrong and apologized to her right away.

From then on his relationship with her grew to the point of being, at the very least, best friends.

Out of all the new things he'd learned and discovered one of the most intriguing ones was that Sai himself was…attractive and therefore…attracted women…a lot of women. They would come to him trying to impress him and telling him how much they liked or loved him.

But in truth Sai had no idea how to reach to this.

He was barley getting by with making friends and socializing with others normally, he didn't know how to feel the same way towards those girls. And now it'd happened again, this time with Meizako and just like the times before he was going to tell her the same warning he'd told every other girl.

He turned to fully face her. "If that's true, I'm going to warn you now Meizako: Drop your feelings of love for me." Her eyes filled with confusion, now shifted up to meet his own emotionless pools of black. "W-Why do you say that?" Her voice shaken.

"Simple: You say that you love me…but I don't love you. I don't know how to, I don't have the necessary emotions to comply with yours. So therefore you'd be wasting your feelings on someone who doesn't return them." He said without so much of a fault.

She lowered her head once more; Sai could make out sadness and disappointment written all over her face. "Alright…I…won't bother you with it anymore…" She said turning to leave. He nodded and turned to go as well. "…but…" He stopped.

"I refuse to drop them."

His head wiped around to view the back of hers astounded; she just turned back slightly and smiled before going on her way. He stood there for a moment, trying to figure out what she just meant by her words. He concluded he'd need the help of someone more experienced in emotions, girls, and love: Sakura. So he set out to find her.

Awhile later he found her exiting the Hokage's office with some paperwork in hand. "Uh, Sakura?" he asked out cautiously in fear of the hard-hitting, pink-haired getting angry and possibly punching him through the wall. "Hmm? Oh, good afternoon Sai. Do you need something?" She replied brightly. Sai exhaled thankfully then said: "I need your advice." Her face seemed surprised and then understanding. "Ok, let's talk somewhere else."

"Hmmm, it does sound like you have a problem." Sakura concluded taking a sip of her tea, Sai nodded as a reply.

"And you're sure you don't have the right feelings for her?"

"I believe so."

"Hmmmm." She hummed, thinking things over. After about a minute she looked up questionably.

"Have you ever tried it though?"

"Tried what?"

She rolled her eyes, "Have you ever tried a relationship, even though you don't have the right "emotions"?"

Sai's face twisted in puzzlement. "No". Sakura gave him an irritated look, "Then how do you know it wouldn't work?" Sai racked his mind for an answer to that but came up empty, before he'd had no doubt in his mind that a relationship with others would be impossible but by the way Sakura was putting it now, Sai could see that she could easily contradict his words. "I-I don't." Sakura's face softened up, "Then why don't you give it a try?" Sai once more pondered the idea before giving his answer. "But I already rejected her." Sakura smiled and shook her head lightly.

"Boys really don't know anything. Just because you rejected her Sai, doesn't mean she'll get over you like that…it means she's be ready for you when you're ready for her…" Sakura explained softly dazing into her own thoughts. Sai could tell that she wasn't just discussing about himself and Meizako now, but a bit about her and the former teammate of Team 7.

"Are you kidding me!?" Naruto shouted at the fifth and current Hokage. Sai could tell from a glimpse that Kiba was about ready to say something as well. Her eyes narrowed, "No, Naruto I'm not; that's your objective, nothing more." And he did, "But if we're right there we can help them and get the scroll back here too all in one shot." Akamaru barked, in what Sai could guess, was agreement. Yamato sighed; Sai could tell he also didn't agree with the orders as well.

Sai could somewhat understand why they'd be so reluctant to do this mission. A team consisting of Hinata, a shinobi Sai didn't know, and Meizako left about three days ago to steal and bring back a scroll said to be an ancient treasure that once belonged to the Second Hokage.

The team had retrieved the scroll and were on there way back when they where ambushed by the enemy. They were now pinned down, Hinata and Meizako was slightly injured, the other shinobi was dead and all of them were dangerously low on chakra. Despite how terrible their situation was, the team that Naruto, Kiba, Yamato, and himself were on currently was to just recover the scroll and leave the first group for the rescue team to save them later on.

"But they could die!" Naruto protested furiously. The Fifth slammed her fist onto the desk creating a deafening bang filling the room with temporary silence. "We are shinobi Naruto! That's what we do: we put our lives on the line for the sake of the village and its people! So enough, you're going to do this mission the way I directed you to or you're not going to go at all, understand!?"

Naruto's face angered once more before falling into frustration. "Y-Yeah." Her face softened a little. "Good, now Yamato: you, Naruto and Kiba are to fend off the enemies without getting close, while Sai will slip secretly into the first group and recover it from them. From that point you'll withdraw back to Konoha." "Yes, ma'am" Yamato replied. She nodded and turned to Sai. "Remember, don't go anywhere near them until Yamato orders." She reminded. "Yes ma'am" He responded obediently.

"Alright……you'll depart immediately!" She commanded.

"Hinata! Are you okay!?" Meizako frantically asked as her teammate and best friend ducked as a kunai flew dangerously close to her fair face. She pulled it from the ground and hurled it back to the distant foe before answering breathlessly: "I'm alright, b-but I don't think we'll be able to m-manage any longer." Meizako nodded as the darkness of night started to settle around them, it was true she knew that if they didn't get any back up soon they'd never survive.

They traveled swiftly and silently through the now darkened woods, Naruto and Kiba were still very upset about the mission but agreed they wouldn't do anything stupid. But that wasn't on Sai's mind at the moment, what was bothering him at this instant was that, in truth, he himself was very troubled about their mission as well. Which was not normal and he had no idea why. It was a shinobi's duty to risk their lives on missions and to do it unquestioningly, if that was true why did Sai feel this way.

Was it because of Naruto and Kiba? Maybe their rebellious attitudes were wearing off on him. Or was it the fact that the prior team probably wouldn't make it if their mission were to be a success. Maybe his new feeling of sorrow and sympathy were kicking in. No, it wasn't empathy and it was something more than sorrow. Sai felt the brim of the emotion but couldn't pinpoint what actually was.

"I smell them!" Kiba said ripping Sai out of his thoughts. Yamato held up his hand to signal stopping, everyone complied. From this point Sai could hear the sound of enemy shouts and metal on metal. "Alright Naruto, Kiba you both and I are going to make sure the enemy is diverted away from the their squad and Sai so he can get a hold the scroll, got it?" "Right." The two replied rather unenthusiastically.

Yamato sighed, "Look the soon we get this mission done the soon the rescue team can come in and back them up." That got a better reply form them. "Right!" they replied more devotedly. "Good, now Sai wait for my command, alright?" Sai nodded.

He decided: Whatever this emotion was, it would have to wait because right know he had a mission to complete.

"M-Meizako, someone else is here!" Hinata informed, Byakugan activated. "What?! Who, are they enemy or allies?!" Meizako asked worriedly. "They're……Naruto! A-And Kiba, Yamato and Sai!" She replied happily. Meizako looked back at her with surprise, "Sai's here?!" she asked. "Yes!"

A feeling of relief spread through her body, but only for a moment before her face turned serious as she realized: They couldn't be rescued, not yet, she knew they had to give the scroll to them. "But how?" she thought to herself. She suddenly turned to Hinata, "Hinata, here take the scroll." She said thrusting the scroll to the bewildered Hyuuga.

"W-W-What, are you doing?!"

"I'm going to distract them, it's your job to get the scroll to them, okay?"

Hinata's face became very anxious. "What're you going to do?"

Meizako's face hardened. "I'm going to lead them away from he-"

"You c-can't leave t-this spot, t-they'll kill you!" Hinata said desperately to her.

"It doesn't matter, just get that scroll to them and get away, alright!?"

"B-B-But-"

"But nothing Hinata, I'm the team leader and I'm commanding you to go!"

Hinata looked distressed about it but reluctantly nodded her head. Meizako smiled sadly at her and embraced her into a swift but meaningful hug, then situated herself into a running position.

As rain began to fall, Meizako sighed, knowing that she almost certainly wouldn't live after this stunt and wishing she'd had more time. More time with her parents, more time with her friends, and mostly, more time with…him.

"Look out Naruto!" Kiba warned giving Naruto time to dodge an enemy hit. "Damn, that was close!" Naruto stated ricocheting from tree to tree trying to distract ongoing enemy ninja. Sai squinted through the intensity of the rain, as the rest of the squad fought off the enemy as much as they could. "Alright Sai, it's almost time!" Yamato shouted at him using Water Release: Destructive Rapid Torrents to sweep enemies away. Sai nodded readying himself, he knew: timeing was everything here.

Suddenly in the distance, a blue flash came darting out of the brush and boulders. "Meizako?!" Sai heard Naruto question, clearly taken aback. Sai's eyes enlarged in alarm, as he could only watch as she ran as fast as she could towards the enemies.

"No…" The enemy readied their weapons.

"No…" Sai felt his chest clench.

"No…" She was going to die.

"No…" They launched them directly at her……

"NO!!"

Time seemed to slow down.

Sai's mind didn't register what he was doing as his body willed himself forward.

Sai faintly heard Yamato's calls but couldn't process what he was actually saying.

In a high-speed movement, the world around him blurred and was then was blinded white by rips of pain tearing and slicing through to, what he could've sworn, his very soul.

It hurt, it hurt exceedingly and then it went numb and deadened as Sai was pulled back to reality.

Sai blinked relieving his eyes of the blurriness and sending the rainwater from in his eyes, down his face. Looking up at him was Meizako's terrified and bloodied face. Sai's heart skipped a beat, "Blood? Did I arrive here to late? …No, that's not her blood." Sai thought to himself. "S-Sai?" Sai smiled softly as he realized that it was his own blood splattered against her face.

Sai could feel several dozen kunai knives and shuriken impaled into his back and arms as he hunched over her, protecting her. "Sai!" Meizako cried as tears fell rapidly from her. Sai fell to his knees in front of her. Sai knew he was extremely wounded and was probably going to die from lack of blood in a matter of minutes but he couldn't stop smiling at her. He could hear Naruto and Kiba screaming something inaudible as the enemy moved onwards towards his team, he didn't know why but right now he didn't care, all he knew was: Meizako was safe.

"Gugh!" He coughed as blood trickled down his chin and face. He felt himself leisurely falling forward, before Meizako placed her hands on his chest holding him steady. "Why? Why'd you do this? Why?!" Meizako shouted at him tears falling from her face. Sai wondered that himself as he started getting prickly feelings all over the gashes. "…Because……well……I…can't…really put…my finger…on it…" He replied roughly. "You…y-you didn't have to d-do this." She sobbed, her shoulders now shaking up and down erratically.

Then it hit him and everything fell into place and Sai finally understood.

"…No…I-I…I think that…I…I did…" He said blinking gently.

"Wh-What?" she choked out looking up at him. "Of course…it's…so simple…Love…it's not something you…learn by reading a book…it's something you earn and give by…protecting and caring about those that…matter to you." Sai explain mostly to himself. "Sai, what're you talking about?" He looked down at her, "Meizako, I love you too."

Her pupils dilated as the shock emerged on her face. "You-You do?" She whispered voice cracking. Sai looked her dead in the eyes a smiled a real, genuine smile at her. "Yes……I'm just…sorry I…didn't see…it…soo..ner……" The corners of Sai's eyes were slowly beginning to be consumed by darkness. "…Mei…Meiza..ko…" Sai struggled. "Sai?…Sai!?…SAI!!!" Meizako's screams became fainter.

And then everything faded to black.

It was suffocating…the feeling was so smothering, so overpowering that Sai was sure he would obliterate if he didn't do the simple act: open his eyes.

Sai hardly lifted his eyelids open before powerful brightness flooded his system making his head throb intensely and just like that, soreness shot through his body like an electrical shock, making him inwardly wince.

Then the realization hit him: He wasn't dead.

Relief washed through his mind but only for a moment. What happened to the squads? Were they okay? Was Meizako safe? He let out a groan as the pain of his body and his head, pounded painfully at his brain. "He's awake!!!" Sai heard a enthusiastic but extremely loud, overexcited voice shout, followed by hitting noise and angry voice scold: "Naruto, quit being such a noisy moron!!" "You both need to calm down!" "We all need to settle down and be a bit quieter now, you too Tenzo."

Sai fully opened his eyes only to be blinded more by grogginess and a surplus amount more of light. He blinked repetitively and slowly the surroundings came into clear view.

He was in the Konoha Hospital, his wounds were dressed and his whole team was in his room: Naruto, Sakura, Yamato and Kakashi. He tried to sit up, "Wait, hold on!" Sakura said rushing over to help him. "T-Thank you……what happened?" He asked slightly lightheaded. "Well from what I was told, you did a very heroic act." Kakashi replied. "Yeah, stupid but heroic." Sakura noted smiling.

Sai tilted his head in confusion. "You saved her Sai, I can't believe it, I can't believe you actually did it because you're always like: "I'm gonna stay by the book, do my duties like a good ANBU, and have a "Never-ever-take-a-ton-of-kunai-and-shuriken-to-the-back-for-Meizako" attitude all the time. But you did and it-" Naruto started. SMACK!!! "Naruto shut up!" Sakura yelled at him, punching over his head while Kakashi heaved sigh.

"After you got in the way of those attack for Meizako, Hinata made a break for us with the scroll, which attracted the enemy away from the both of you." Yamato explained. "Yeah, but Kiba and I totally kicked their asses before they could even think about hurting Hinata." Naruto stated slightly bragging making Sakura roll her eyes.

Sai blinked, and took it all in, "So the mission…?" "Was a complete success, the scroll's been recovered." Yamato confirmed. Sai blinked, then again, then sighed a sigh of relief. "Hey don't think you're out of the woods yet." Sakura said chuckling slightly. "Hmm?" "Yeah, Grandma's gonna kill you cause you didn't do the mission "rig-" Naruto started again. "Where is he?!" The Hokage's voice rang loud and clear through the hallways of the hospital. "Oh boy." Kakashi commented.

The door opened, and the angry-looking Hokage marched in, hands on her hips with a panicking, apologetic Shizune following. "You!" She barked pointing at Sai, he winced and slightly shrunk into himself. "That stunted you pulled was against your mission regulations! You not only endangered the scroll, your own life but the lives of your teammates as well! Out of all people, I never thought you'd be the one to do this, Sai! It was one of the most irrational thing I've ever heard you do!" Sai closed his eyes waiting for his punishment.

"But it was also one of bravest things a shinobi, no a man could do for a woman, if it wasn't for you're daring action two good kunoichis would've lost their lives and for that, I have to say: I am very proud of you." She ended beaming cheerfully. Sai stared at her with a confused dazed look on his face; did he just get complimented for disobeying orders? Yes, yes he did. "Uh, t-thank you ma'am." Sai replied perplexed.

"What!? You're proud of him?! If I'd done that you would've yelled you're lungs out at me and gave me tons of stupid work to do. How come he gets off so easily, Grandma!?!" Naruto complained loudly at her. "Because you do stuff like that ALL THE TIME!" She hollered just as loud back to him.

Sai joined into the laughter of the group as the Hokage and Naruto quarreled noisily. Shizune abruptly cleared her throat grabbing everyone's attention towards her. "I hate to interrupt but it seems you have a visitor." She stated, looking in the direction of the door.

Sai followed her gaze to entrance of his room. His heart fluttered wildly as his eyes fell upon the single person he was most aching to see. Meizako looked tired and had some patches on her face but to Sai it made no difference she was still stunning to him as she made her way past people to the side of his bed. "H-Hey Sai." She shyly greeted him. "Hello Meizako." He greeted back looking lovingly at her.

"Thank you so much for saving my life, I'm…I'm so glad you're all right." She said sounding like she was going to cry. "It was never a problem, I'm thankful you're okay too." "B-But it was really stupid of you to do." She added laughing slightly. He laughed lightly with her, "I know…but if I didn't…I wouldn't have you now." He said with a tender look in his eye. Her face reddened faintly, "So you really meant what you said back there in the forest?" She asked.

"Yes, I did, but I still don't know anything about love besides that I'm in it, so it's still wasteful to be with me. Are you sure you want to throw you're heart away so easily?" He asked sadly, fearful of her answer. Slowly a small smile crept up her face and she lightly shook her head, "You dummy, I'm not throwing my heart away for you, I'm giving my heart to you." She explained fondly. Sai looked at her for a really long time, soaking in her words.

He then, without warning, hand guiding her neck, plunged her lips to his own, surprising her immensely. However she kissed back with just as much passion and love as he offered himself. Sai grinned into the kiss as he felt the room radiating with shock and bafflement as he now remembered nobody but Sakura had any idea about this.

Sai quickly glanced over to a satisfied-looking Sakura, and gave her a very grateful look, which she returned with a pleased gleam.

As they ended the kiss he fixed his eyes on her, "Then please Meizako, will you be with me? I may not know how to be a boyfriend but I'll try as hard as I can." He asked. "Of course I will." She said happily smiling at him. And Sai, like before, smiled a true smile back.

"Wait, what the hell's going on around here?!" Naruto asked astonished of what just happened. "It's better if you just don't think about it Naruto, you'll just hurt yourself." Kakashi joked. "Yeah, you're probably rig-HEY!" The room once again erupted with laugher that even Naruto couldn't resist joining into.

"I think I'm finally getting the hang of this." Sai thought to himself, knowing that he was in fact now, an extremely blessed shinobi.