Disclaimer: I do not own BTR

James sighed; it's been a long day. The guys had been at the studio all day, and, naturally Gustavo had yelled and thrown a fit, but that had happened so many times, it wasn't really that big a deal anymore. Besides it wasn't Gustavo or Griffin or the work that was getting to him today, it was the one person that really mattered to James.

"Hey, we're going to the pool. You coming?" Carlos asked him.

"Huh... wha... no I'm good. I think I'll take a nap." James forced a smile. He didn't want the others to worry about him.

"Ok…" Carlos said, looking slightly concerned for his tall burnet friend.

When James was alone he went to the bathroom and locked the door. How could he just walk away and go to the pool? It had been obvious that James was not good, and needed more than just a nap to fix things. James ran the razor over his wrist. He hated doing this, but it was the only thing that took his mind off the pain James felt whenever he thought too much about his friend, the boy he loved hopelessly, Carlos. James knew that it wasn't Carlos's fault, but it still hurt and this was the only way he could think of to dull that pain in heart, so he pulled the razor across his wrist again.

Carlos sat down by the pool lost in thought which was rather odd for the hyper Latino. Carlos was wondering what was wrong with James. He knew his tall friend never turned down a chance to improve his perfect tan. James has been acting weird lately, Carlos thought. He didn't know why, but it bothered him, but not as much as the fact James was trying to hide the fact that something was wrong. What could be bothering him so much?

"Hey, guys!" Carlos looked up to see their friend Ascadelia walking towards them smiling. "Where's James?" the burnet looked a little worried.

"He's taking a nap. Why?" Kendall asked.

"It's just… well… oh screw it. You guys need to talk with him." She said "he needs to talk with you, but being the stubborn, idiot he is, he won't."

"What? Why wouldn't he just tell us what it is?" Logan looked as confused as Carlos felt.

"Ummm… I can't say?" Ascadelia was biting her lip and seemed hesitant.

"Why?" Kendall asked, clearly curious.

"Since when have I spilled the things you guys tell me in confidence to anyone? Including the other guys!"

"Oh." The three of them said somewhat ashamed.

"Hey, As! We still on for tonight?" they turned to see Ascadelia's boyfriend walking towards them.

"Yes, did you really have to ask Jace?" Ascadelia asked laughing.

"Yeah, when my girlfriend turns heads without meaning to, I can't be too careful." He replied smiling.

"Whatever, Jace" she said rolling her eyes. She turned back to the guys, "Talk to James. He needs you guys."

Before they could say anything Carlos jumped up and tapped his helmet twice before running for their apartment. "Go after him" As sighed, as Kendall and Logan went after their Latino friend.

Carlos ran into the apartment and went directly to the room he and James shared, but the pretty boy wasn't there. When Carlos walked out of his room he noticed that the bathroom door was closed, and he heard a whimper come from behind the door.

"James, you ok?" James heard from the other side of the locked door.

"Umm, y-yeah Carlos, I'm fine." James stuttered.

"You don't sound ok."

"Well, I am, so could you just leave me alone?" James snapped.

"James I know something's wrong. Tell me."

"No."

"James, tell me or I'll break down the door." The pleading tone that had been in the Latino's voice was gone, and James could tell he was serious. The burnet looked quickly down at the blood flowing from his wrists, and looked back at the door. "Carlos don't…"

It was too late the Latino broke down the door, causing James to jump and drop the razor he had been holding. Carlos froze when he saw James covered in blood, eyes wide and disbelieving, as the color drained from his face.

"W-wh-what… w-why…" Carlos couldn't understand why James would do that to himself, couldn't understand why As didn't tell them this, she never kept a secret that, one that could kill.

"C-carlos… I… y-you m-must hate m-me" James said sinking to the floor tears falling down his face, he couldn't take the look on Carlos's face, he reached for the razor again, sobbing. But before his hand reached it Carlos had kicked it to the other side of the room and was kneeling in front of James.

"Hate you? How could you think I'd hate you? James you're my best friend. Why would you do this? Tell me." James shook his head viciously.

"No you'll hate me."

"James I won't hate you I promise." He was begging James to tell him, to let him help, as he pressed a towel to James's bleeding wrists.

Kendall and Logan stood in the doorway; they both knew that Carlos had the best chance of getting James to spill what was bothering him. But none of them where prepared for what James said next.

"I-I'm… I'm gay"

Carlos knew his jaw dropped when James said that. James is gay? Maybe, just maybe, I have a chance.

"I told you, you'd hate me." James looked at the floor, his eyes drifted to the razor that was laying on the floor a few feet away. Carlos noticed this and cradled James's face in his hands, forcing the tall burnet to look at him.

"James, I don't hate you, I could never hate someone I love." James's eyes widened when Carlos leaned in and kissed him. It was only a peck, but when Carlos pulled back, James could see the love and fear in Carlos's eyes. The burnet buried his head in the Latino's shoulder and muttered "I'm sorry."

"Don't be, I should have said something sooner." Carlos looked over at Logan, silently asking the genius to go get the first aid kit, and take care of James's wrists. When the genius returned and bandaged his friend's wrists he said "I guess this is as good a time as any", while he looked at Kendall.

The blonde leader nodded. "Logan and I are kind of dating."

"Finally" Carlos muttered. Logan and Kendall just stared at him. "It was kind of obvious you like each other, you know."

James smiled weakly, until Carlos turned to him, uncharacteristically serious. "Don't do this to yourself again, ever. I don't want to lose you."

"I won't, I promise."