Crack man… Pure crack.
I get my inspiration from the craziest places.
Warning you now, Gamzee is a swearing motherfucka
/\/\/\/\
- DoNuTs mOtHeRfUcKeR
Karkat was pissed. Again.
"GAMZEE GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE!" He screamed, punching Gamzee in the stomach. He just honked and laughed, his grin growing.
"Don't be mad, mother fucking best friend. I was just giving you an Eskimo kiss." Gamzee proceeded to rub his nose against Karkat's, earning another punch. Of course, the goat boy just laughed.
"WE ARE NOT FRIENDS ASSHOLE." Karkat growled. Gamzee laughed again, skipping away. Before going, he yelled one more time.
"I'll make you something motherfucking delicious Kitty-Kat! See you tomorrow." And with that, he disappeared, leaving Karkat dumbfounded.
"…WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!"
-Karkat: Develop a fear of baked goods
The next day, Karkat was something he rarely was. Frightened. Despite being his Moirail, he could despise Gamzee. Not to mention how fucking unpredictable he could be.
"Hey, MoThErFuCkInG BeSt FrIeNd." Gamzee said in the was only he could, walking up with a lazy smile on his face. Karkat groaned, noticing the box in his hands.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?" He screeches, backing slightly away. Gamzee honks and grins.
"Motherfucking donuts, what else? You want some motherfucking donuts, mother fucking best friend?" Karkat actually calmed down and pondered this fact for a moment. They were just fucking donuts and he doubted that Gamzee had drugged or poisoned them. Why the hell not eat one?
"GIVE ME ONE OF YOUR SHIT PASTRIES THEN." Karkat growled, holding out a hand expectantly. Gamzee grinned and opened the box, pulling out a homemade cake donut. Karkat snatched it and bit into it roughly. The goat boy honked a couple times, still grinning ear to ear. Why the fuck is he grinning like that!?
Suddenly Karkat found something between his teeth. THE HELL? It was a small, folded, laminated piece of paper, deep blue. And it had handwriting on it, a scrawl that could only be Gamzee's.
DeAr KiTtY-kAt,
I KnOw YoU'rE My MoThErFuCkInG BeSt FrIeNd aNd AlL BuT WhAt YoU SaY We TaKe OuT ThE MoThEr AnD JuSt LeAvE ThE FuCkInG
LoVe YoU MoThErFuCkEr
GaMzEe
Karkat choked on the donut he had been eating and threw it away, gasping. Gamzee laughed and honked, moving around to wrap his arms around Karkat, who proceeded to shove him away.
"FUCK YOU GOAT BOY. MOIRAIL MY ASS, YOU'RE LUCKY I DIDN'T MURDER YOU UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT." Despite his troll instincts to fight, Karkat ran like a bat out of hell. Never again would he touch any sort of pastry…
"Motherfucker didn't like my motherfucking donuts…" Gamzee whined as he honked his horn sadly. "Guess I'll just have to mother fucking try again. Maybe he likes cake…"
Then Gamzee grinned crazily at Karkat's back, remembering his plan.
"Soon, Kar-Kitty. Soon."
/\/\/\/\/\
Jus. I'm not going to bore you with how this came into creation. I'll write another chapter or two if you like, but it'll get weird and possibly involve lemons. Not necessarily just the fruit kind either.