He had never felt so alone in all his life. He was a solitary man – yet he would never call himself lonely, he had known for years that he was his own best company. He liked most people well enough, but at the end of the day and when all was said and done – he was happiest alone.
But now was different – he felt the loneliness – maybe it was because hospitals were lonely places – places for waiting, for reflection and pondering.
He didn't have anything to do while he waited, there was no TV or reading material in the tiny family waiting room, nothing to distract him - so all he had were his thoughts and he didn't like where they were taking him. He felt regret for unshared feelings, he felt regret for time lost – that was something you could never regain – he had always thought there was time to fix this, that they would eventually work this out, they had been making some progress after all.
But now, all he had was the loneliness and the waiting – he looked at his watch – only 10 minutes had passed since the last time he looked at it. Time was always relative – 10 minutes with someone you love felt like 10 seconds while 10 minutes waiting to hear if that loved one lived or died felt like 10 hours. What he wouldn't give for 10 minutes of the 10 second variety.
He was so engrossed in his thoughts that he didn't realize the doctor had entered the tiny waiting room until he spoke.
"Mr. Gibbs, your father did wonderfully throughout the heart by-pass surgery. All his vital signs look good. He has a long and painful recovery ahead of him, but I believe he is going to be just fine"
Gibbs heaved a heavy sigh of relief "When can I see him?"
"He is being moved to ICU right now. You can see him in about an hour; they need to get him settled in. I will send a nurse for you when he's ready"
Gibbs looked at his watch once again – more waiting – but this time it would be filled with anticipation instead of dread.