Pairing: Kurogane/Fai
Disclaimer: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle belongs to CLAMP.
Spoilers: From Ch125 onwards
A/N: This is a birthday fic for daya-chan; she provided me with prompts, I wrote the story. Special thanks to my friend, Jx, who gave me encouragement and beta-read through this even though she doesn't read romance or shounen-ai stories usually.
A Bond Between
I.
"This is delicious!"
Syaoran reckoned it was not his place to say anything.
Sakura did not know what to say.
Kurogane looked like he wanted to say something. However, he shoved the sickeningly sweet chocolate cake into his mouth instead.
Mokona said something, her favourite dessert forgotten on the plate. "Fai! Yuuko said that usually…"
"I'm done! Please excuse me? Enjoy the cakes!" Fai stood up and left the table.
"Vampires can't consume anything other than blood…" Mokona finished her statement without her usual cheer.
Kurogane stood up and followed Fai.
xxx
Kurogane found Fai in their bathroom, bending over the toilet bowl, retching out his stomach content, his expression contorted in pain. His face was paler than usual, almost turning into a shade of sickly green. His blond hair, wet with perspiration, was sticking to his forehead. At that moment, Kurogane almost regretted saving Fai's life.
"Why are you doing this?"
Fai turned to look at Kurogane with a mocking smile.
"What do you think, Kurogane? I want to eat."
"You need to drink, you haven't…"
"Don't you get it? I want to eat! I want to taste real food in my mouth, not…"
Kurogane pushed Fai roughly against the wall and kissed him.
There was no passion or romance. There were exasperation, worry and most of all, anger. Kurogane effectively trapped Fai between the wall and himself, and Fai was too tired and weak to push him away.
And so Fai allowed Kurogane to kiss him and allowed the other man's tongue to enter his mouth. He could taste chocolate on Kurogane's tongue. However, this time round, there was no accompanying nausea with the food.
He thrust his tongue into Kurogane's mouth, savoring the nearly forgotten flavour of his favourite dessert, as a tear escaped his eye.
xxx
When he finally drank, Kurogane's blood tasted almost like chocolate in his mouth.
II.
Fai sometimes wondered if he was the only one with vampire's instinct.
For one thing, Kurogane had developed a liking for very rare steaks. That should not have been surprising, since Kurogane enjoyed sushi, and Fai still did not understand how people could stand eating raw fish. However, Kurogane had taken to eating almost uncooked steaks, with the smell of blood so fresh that earned him surprised glances from his traveling companions.
xxx
"You're bleeding." Kurogane said even before turning Fai around. And sure enough, Fai's lips were dry and smeared with blood.
"How did…"
"You're dehydrating. You need to drink." Kurogane was staring at Fai's bloodstained lips as he spoke.
Almost as though he was in a trance, the ninja's thumb grazed over Fai's lips, wiping the blood away.
Before Fai could respond, Kurogane's lips were on his, and he could feel the other man's tongue gently licking at the part where he was bleeding, like what he himself did on Kurogane's wounds after feeding.
A shiver ran up Fai's spine and his lips tingled long after Kurogane pulled away.
xxx
Fai decided that there was definitely something more to the bond he shared with Kurogane, other than the ninja being his bait.
III.
"That's not how it feels." Kurogane responded to the unspoken question hung in the air.
It was late at night; the children and Mokona were already in bed. But the two men were sitting in front of the television, and much to Kurogane's discomfort, a vampire movie was screening.
The victim, a young girl, was writhing in pain, struggling to free herself but to no avail. The vampire in the movie latched himself onto her, holding the dying body in a death grip, drinking life and strength as it slipped away from the girl.
Fai watched the scene with morbid attention.
"I mean, it's not that painful." He elaborated, as Fai did not seem to hear him the first time. After all, the ninja's face betrayed no emotions during feeding.
In less than a minute, the actress fell limply to the floor, her face a starkly white. The vampire walked away from the copse without a second glance.
"What does it feel like then?" Fai was still facing the television, his voice soft as he asked the question.
Kurogane knew that he had to phrase his words properly because it was important to Fai. He could almost hear the guilt in Fai's voice and there was no reason for Fai to feel guilty for the choice he himself made.
Kurogane paused, gathering his thoughts.
Fai turned to look at him, his face devoid of emotions, his one eye staring at Kurogane. When Kurogane still did not reply, Fai switched off the television and stood up from the couch.
Kurogane's hand shot out and held onto Fai's wrist. "Look, I'm a ninja. I'm used to cuts and blood loss. Besides, I'm the one who made that choice. If I have another chance, I would do it again. So I would continue to do what I had promised."
Fai did not dare to look at Kurogane when the latter released his hand; and he walked quickly into his room.
IV.
Fai opened the door to his room and stared dumbly at the interior, fully aware that Kurogane was standing behind him.
"What's the meaning of this?"
"The princess said it's your birthday today." Kurogane followed Fai into his room and closed the door behind him.
The study table, instead of its usual position against the wall, was positioned in the middle of his room. The thing that shocked Fai when he first opened the door was that the table was filled with food—real human food which Fai had not consumed for a long time. There were strawberry cakes, chocolates, hot cocoa, cherry tarts, blueberry jam sandwiches and all the other sweet pastries Fai loved. At the corner of the table, there was a card and Fai could tell from the neat, girly script that it was written by Sakura. The food must have been prepared by her too.
But why? Sakura knew that he had become a vampire a few worlds back, that he could not consume anything other than Kurogane's blood. And these delicacies painfully reminded Fai of the change in his body.
He turned away from the table and was met with Kurogane, standing in front of him. He lowered his eye, not wanting to show Kurogane the hurt in it.
Kurogane placed his hands on Fai's arms and Fai had the sudden urge to lean towards Kurogane's chest for comfort.
"The princess wanted to do something special. And the boy, he looked up some books and found this theory, where it said that vampires can consume food, if the ingredients are mixed with blood during preparation. The white manjuu double checked with the witch and confirmed the theory."
Fai looked up at Kurogane seeing sincerity, and perhaps something deeper that he himself refused to acknowledge in the taller man's eyes.
"Thank you." Fai whispered as he took his first bite, savoring the long forgotten taste of human food.
V.
Kurogane was a ninja. He had spent years perfecting his fighting stance; his sword moved swiftly and accurately, his hands steady on his weapon, never wavering.
"Fai!" Kurogane shouted as he moved in a speed that could rival Fai to cover the mage's back, blocking the monster's attack with Souhi.
By the time Fai had turned around to the scene behind him, it was too late. Another monster had taken the opportunity to cut Kurogane's unguarded back with its claws, and fresh blood was fast staining the ninja's shirt red.
Fai dropped his weapon as his fingernails lengthened on instinct, slashing fatally at the two monsters in a quick flurry of action.
The last thing Fai noticed before Kurogane lost consciousness was that the ninja's hands were shaking as they held Souhi in place.
VI.
Kurogane was sitting on his bed, reading a copy of this world's Maganyan, when Fai entered his room. He put the magazine down as Fai came to sit down beside him.
"Do you want to feed now?"
"Yes, if I'm not disturbing you from reading."
Kurogane grunted a "no" and was about to reach out for Souhi on the table beside his bed, when Fai grabbed his hand and held onto it. Kurogane looked at Fai, the question evident in his eyes.
"I… Can I bite you? Instead of you cutting your wrist?"
Kurogane paused as he regarded Fai's request. "Yes." And he offered his left wrist to the mage.
Fai held Kurogane's left hand with both his hands, fingers tracing lightly over the scars on the ninja's wrist. He noticed that Kurogane's hand was shaking slightly, and he remembered that the first time he saw this was in the battle awhile ago, where Kurogane was injured. Fai realised that he had not noticed the weakening of the ninja's wrist earlier, because his stubbornness simply refused to let him see what was there. He was thankful that his hair was covering his face, as his eye began to mist over.
"Can I drink from your neck instead?" Fai asked as he fought control for his voice to stay calm. His single eye looked at Kurogane's face and he tried to will his tears away.
Kurogane turned his body towards Fai. He raised his right hand to caress Fai's cheek in a gentleness that one might be surprised the tough ninja possessed.
"Yes. You can drink from my neck." You can drink from anywhere you want.
Fai looked surprised for a moment, like a child who thought that his request would not be granted but tried asking anyway. He took his hands away from Kurogane's left hand, and climbed awkwardly onto the ninja's lap, hands on either side of the taller man's shoulders. It was strangely comfortable and familiar, as if his body was made to be seated on Kurogane's lap, their bodies fitting perfectly. He wrapped his long legs around the ninja's torso and placed his chin on Kurogane's left shoulder.
He smelt the unique scent of Kurogane as he leaned towards the ninja's neck. His fangs broke the skin, earning a soft hiss from Kurogane. Drinking from the neck was a very different experience as compared with drinking from the wrist.
Fai's senses had become more acute since the change in his body, but this was as if his senses were attached to a loudspeaker, going on overload. He could hear both their hearts beating loudly in his head as he drank; beating rhythmically with each other, playing a sweet melody that belonged to only the two of them. It was intoxicating, and he pressed himself even closer to the other man, feeling Kurogane's heart beating against his chest, hands clamping on the ninja's shoulders, drinking, drinking and drinking.
Eventually, Fai slowed his pace. The roaring in his head had subsided and he felt as though he had just surfaced from a pool of water, lacking of breathe; his surroundings slowly coming into focus as he opened his cat eye. He did not remember when he had closed his eye during feeding.
He licked up the excess blood from the wound, making sure that the blood had stopped flowing, before pressing a light kiss on the very spot. He loosened his limbs around Kurogane's body but stayed seated on the ninja's lap.
"Are you alright?" Did I drink too much?
"Yes." No, you didn't. I just need to rest a bit.
Fai remained silent as he waited for Kurogane's breathing to even out, his body to relax. Fai noted with relief when he saw the faint red colour of blood returning to Kurogane's face.
"Is it painful for me to drink this way?" Fai asked as he recalled the hiss of pain from Kurogane when he first broke the skin.
"No. I mean yes. But it's better than Souhi on my wrist. And I could feel your heart beating… I thought… I wondered…" Kurogane stopped; he was not one who stuttered while speaking. "It's just that I've heard people talking about vampires and how their hearts don't beat and I…" He trailed off, unsure of how to continue.
For a moment, a real smile graced Fai's lips; the ninja was worried about him. Then, what the ninja said earlier dawned upon him and the smile slipped away.
"I'm sor-"
Kurogane's hand reached up to Fai's face for the second time on that day, turning the mage to look at him, stopping his apology.
"I said before. I made the choice myself. And I would do it again if I had to. If anything, I'm the one who's sorry to be forcing this on you." I'm sorry that you're depending on me, I know you don't like it. But I'm not sorry for saving your life.
"Thank you, Kuro-" Fai paused. "-sama." His hands wrapped around Kurogane's neck and he rested his head on the ninja's chest.
After a moment, Fai sat up and Kurogane could see that the mage was thinking about something.
"My heart is beating fine." Fai said softly as his hands reached out to press the ninja's head against his chest. "It's beating because of you." It's beating for you.
To Kurogane, "thump, thump, thump"—the heartbeats of Fai were the most beautiful sound he heard in his life.
VII.
Kurogane missed drinking and Fai knew it.
Ever since the change in Fai's body, Kurogane had been considerate; he avoided drinking in front of the mage, knowing that Fai loved and missed drinking. And seeing that these days, Fai was around Kurogane most of the time, it had been a long time since Kurogane drank anything alcoholic.
That was why Fai was walking towards Kurogane's room that night, with two bottles of alcohol in his hands.
Fai was about to knock on the ninja's door, when Kurogane opened it himself.
"Kuro-pii! How did you know I'm here?" Fai asked curiously as Kurogane moved back to let Fai into his room.
"I was about to go and find you." Kurogane closed the door behind Fai, blocking out the cool wind from the open corridor.
It was winter in this world; even with the heater, the rooms had to be kept closed and the floors were too cold to be sat on. Fai walked over to Kurogane's bed, putting the two bottles on the nearby table, before sitting down cross-legged on the mattress.
Kurogane's brow rose questioningly at the alcohol, as he too came to sit on the bed, which was the only piece of furniture suitable for sitting on in his motel room.
"I brought you something to drink. The shopkeeper said that they are good against the cold." Fai grabbed a bottle, uncapped it with his fingernails, and handed it to the ninja.
Kurogane took the bottle and mouthed a "thank you", before pouring almost half the bottle down his throat.
The shopkeeper had not been lying then. His throat burnt as the drink sloshed down to his stomach, even his ears were feeling warm from the drink. He examined the bottle, trying to note down the brand or the type of alcohol, since it was something which he had not drunk before. However, he could make no sense of the writings on the bottle.
He turned towards Fai, to see Fai staring intently at him.
"Do you want to drink?" I can…"
"It's okay, Kuro-pon." Fai reached forward and pressed his lips against Kurogane's, tasting the unique mixture of alcohol and Kurogane. He did not want Kurogane to cut himself again. "You can drink in front of me, you know." Fai then sat back, smiling a small smile, but a real smile nevertheless at the ninja.
He motioned for Kurogane to finish the first bottle as he opened the second one.
By the time Kurogane finished the two bottles by himself, he was feeling a little light-headed. He hoped it was that the alcohol was potent and not because his tolerance for alcohol had deteriorated over his long abstinence from drinking.
He leaned back against his bed and closed his eyes, trying to clear his head a bit.
"You okay, Kuro-rin?" Fai lay down on the bed and propped himself up with his elbows, looking at the ninja.
"Hmm. Do you want to feed now?" Kurogane cracked one eye open to look at Fai. It was time for the mage to feed. He was about to go to Fai earlier because of this.
"Are you sure? Do you want to rest first? I…"
Fai was interrupted as Kurogane's arm wrapped around his waist and pulled him towards the ninja's body. Kurogane's hand came up to Fai's hair and tenderly brought the mage's mouth to his neck.
"I'm okay. Drink."
xxx
That night, Fai fell asleep on top of Kurogane, legs intertwined with the other man, his head on the ninja's chest. As Kurogane lay on the bed, running his fingers lightly through Fai's blond hair, he felt a pleasant warmth in his stomach and he knew that it did not come solely from the alcohol. He pulled the blanket over the two of them, keeping his arm around the mage, before closing his eyes to sleep.
VIII.
Another dimension, another night, they found themselves watching a vampire movie together again. This time round however, Fai was comfortably seated on Kurogane's lap, his back against the ninja's chest. Kurogane was rubbing absently at their entwined hands in front of Fai.
"Are you even watching the show, Kuro-wan?"
"No."
"The vampires are gay in the movie."
"Hmm."
"What do you think of gay men?" Fai turned his head around and looked at Kurogane.
"I like gay men." I like you. Kurogane answered sincerely, looking into Fai's eye.
"I like gay men too." I like you too. Fai squeezed their hands as he turned his attention back to the movie, a smile on his lips.
IX.
"Where are we going?"
"Don't you have a bit of patience, Kuro-mii?"
"We've been walking for half an hour already and…"
"Here we are!" Fai stopped his pull on Kurogane's hand and the ninja realised that they were standing in front of a pub. "I heard from our neighbours that their alcoholic beverages are very good."
xxx
Kurogane was feeling uncomfortable as he slipped the drink in his mug. They called it "beer" in this world. Beside him, Fai was stirring his cocktail with no intention of drinking it. Sensing Kurogane's gaze on him, Fai turned to look at the ninja and smiled.
"You can drink in front of me, Kuro-chi." Fai repeated the words he said before. I know you love drinking, please don't give it up because of me.
"Alright." And the ninja drank. He downed more mugs than he could remember, allowing his body to remember the feeling of alcohol—the warmth in his stomach and the beginning of throbbing in his head.
xxx
"One more…" Kurogane slurred to the bartender after many, many mugs later.
"He had too much." Fai said as he stopped the ninja's order. "Let's go home, Kuro-bun."
"Nice… Want more…"
Fai chuckled as he brought the taller man's arm across his own shoulders, supporting Kurogane as he dragged the ninja out of the pub. Once outside, Fai heaved Kurogane onto his shoulder, and anyone who saw them would have been surprised by the lanky man's strength. That was one of the advantages of being a vampire—increased strength, Fai mused to himself.
"Woof." It was probably his imagination, Fai thought as he shook his head. The ninja did not just bark, right?
"Nice." And Fai felt Kurogane's hand pinching his ass from behind. Now, that was definitely not his imagination.
"Kuro-wanko, we're on the streets. Behave yourself or I'll leave you here."
"You won't." But Kurogane did not do anything again and Fai was thinking that the ninja had perhaps passed out from the alcohol.
Therefore, it was a bit surprising to find Kurogane staring at him when he lowered the ninja onto their bed. And before he knew it, Kurogane's hand shot out, pulling Fai down to the ninja.
"You should go to sleep, Kuro-tan. You're drunk."
"Not drunk. You drink too." Kurogane used his tongue to lick Fai's face, behaving exactly like a "big doggie". "Drink, Fai-neko." And there was another lick across Fai's face.
As Fai drank from Kurogane, he thought that he should try to get the ninja drunk more often.
xxx
Kurogane woke up with a pounding headache the following morning, with Fai still asleep beside him. He vaguely remembered Fai meowing like a cat. Was that a dream or did Fai behaved like a drunk again?
X.
Fai bounced into their room, holding a gift box in his hands.
"Merry Christmas, Kuro-chan!" And he thrust the box into the surprised ninja's hands. "Open it, open it!"
A pair of socks was lying in the box, one was red and the other was black. The mage had developed a fondness for giving him things in red and black colours.
He took out the socks and realised that on the left sock, Fai had sewed on a picture of the "big doggie" and on the right sock, the "big kitty".
"Thank you." Kurogane slipped the socks onto his feet and took Fai's hands in his.
"The lady in the previous world taught me how to sew properly." Fai tried to take his hands out of Kurogane's grasp but the ninja held on. Kurogane finally released Fai's hands after making sure that indeed, there were no pricks on the mage's fingers.
"Wait here." Kurogane stood up and left the room.
He returned with a bouquet of lilies and roses. The ninja looked faintly embarrassed as he handed Fai the flowers. "The princess said you like them."
"You're really sweet, you know." What had I done to deserve you? Fai closed his eye and inhaled the sweet scent.
When Fai opened his eye again, Kurogane was looking at him with an unreadable expression. Then, Kurogane carefully took the bouquet from Fai, putting it on the table, before holding Fai's hands again in his calloused ones.
"Fai." Kurogane paused, looking like he was trying to gather his courage to say something important. Fai waited. "Would you let me stay by your side?"
"Because I have been waiting too. Waiting for someone who can stay by my side." Really, Fai should have expected Kurogane to have a good memory, remembering the words he had spoken so long ago—in a virtual reality world.
"Is that really what you want?" Don't you want to return to Nihon? To return to Tomoyo?
"Yes." I'll rather be away from Nihon and be with you, than to return without you. Tomoyo will want me to do that too, I know she will.
"Then please stay by my side, Kuro-sama."
Kurogane leaned in, capturing Fai's mouth with his own, sealing the promise with a kiss. It was a promise which was more than the vampire-bait bond between them. It was a promise which would bind them together, hopefully forever.
End.