Cuddy/House, House/Wilson friendship and then H/W love
Warning: CRACK FIC, it starts off not so crack but towards the end I didn't know how to finish it so its super crack at the end. : D enjoy
On to the Story…………………..
"What are we supposed to name him?" Cuddy asked her husband the one and only Doctor Gregory House. Cuddy and he were expecting their first child a boy and they were now deciding the name for their first child.
"Optimus Prime sounds good, yeah I like that Optimus Prime House" House said smirking.
"House we are not naming our son after a robot for god's sake, be serious." Cuddy snapped "How about Eugene Michael House?"
"Uh, no that's a dorks name, my kids not gonna be a dork" House said looking aghast at the mere thought that Cuddy would even suggest that name for their child.
For the past half hour she had been trying to find the perfect name for their child and House was just making jokes. To top it off, while she was in the kitchen making her artichoke waffles with hot sauce (being pregnant really allowed her to branch out in the food market), House apparently got bored and called Wilson to come over and now they were in there screwing around about baby names.
"How about Moxie Crime Fighter" Wilson said
"Pilot Inspector" House said
"Spec Wild horse"
"Kyd"
"Jesus"
"Buddha"
"Hopper"
"Lamp"
"Fridge"
"Sofa"
"We are not naming our kid after a piece of furniture!" Cuddy yelled from the kitchen.
'I thought with Wilson here something would be accomplished, but no' Cuddy sighed, Wilson was a great friend of House, in fact his only friend, his best friend. Cuddy used to be jealous of that and even at one time thought they were gay for each other but when she asked Greg he said it was "Guy Love" and she wouldn't understand. After she finished her snack and drank some chocolate milk and then had some cookies and then a banana and then some fried chicken Cuddy went back into the living room just in time to hear House say.
"Wilson Jamie House" House beamed looking pleased with coming up with the name.
"I love it! It's perfect!" Wilson replied smiling from ear to ear.
"Oh no, there is no way in hell we are naming our son after your best friend" Cuddy insisted.
House and Wilson looked at her with a yeah-as-if-it's-really-you're-decision face. Cuddy sighed, it wasn't that bad of a name, but she really liked Eugene Michael. At that point in time Batman crashed through their living room wall and falcon punched Cuddy in the stomach, effectively causing her to have her baby right there in the living room. Then Batman tore Cuddy's head from her body and drank the blood dripping from her neck which oddly tasted of kool aide. Batman then triple hand back spring-ed out of the house and left House, Wilson, Baby and Dead Cuddy by themselves.
Wilson looked at House and House looked at Wilson and then they both looked at the baby who was now break dancing on the floor. House stooped down and picked the baby up and held it into the air facing Wilson.
"I give you, Fraggle Rock House and you are the father James Wilson"
And then House chucked the baby where it landed nicely in the crib and was awarded a perfect score by the judges, House grabbed Wilson and tore off his clothes and continued to ravish him and from there Wilson started to have many more babies and his head exploded because he couldn't comprehend all that had happened. Wilson dropped to the ground and died and House dropped to his knees and yelled with all his might and anguish "STELLLLLLLLAAAAAAA" and then House ate all 52 of Wilsons babies and stuck a broom handle with a basketball on it in Wilsons neck so that he would have a head and then they got married and Cuddy was the best man. House and Cuddy's baby grew up to be very disturbed and mentally incapable of processing anything around him and he had the iq of a bar of soap, fortunately he made trillions of dollars selling self help books. He now lives in a cozy 40 story mansion in Guatemala.