The Young and the Hopeless
Chapter One: Sweet Sixteen
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Under the conditions, she didn't think she offended him. In fact he intrigued her. It was almost one month since he started coming in, and he, a complete stranger, occupied her mind more than her own life. Was that obsessive? Maybe. Nevertheless he cast a spell over her, a silly high school girl in the new millennium.
Serena Tsukino straightened her checkered apron over her skirt and picked up a small notepad. She had a slight figure at seventeen, thin and five foot, four inches. Her long blonde hair was pulled back in a neat ponytail that differed from her usual hairstyle of two buns with a ponytail streaming from each, what her friends liked to call "meatballs". Serena was an after school waitress at the Café à l'eau, translated to the Café at the Water. Located on the edge of the largest manmade lake in Tokyo, Lake Nomuri, it had spectacular views of the skyscrapers across the water in Center City. The Café was on a quiet tree-lined road with many other quaint stores and restaurants encircling the lake. The area was on the edge of the Tokyo Pavilion, a large complex that featured the best shopping, dining and hotels of the city. There was a walkway or bike-path also in front of the Café and just beyond the lake, there was Hikimo Park, a pride of Tokyo residents. A vast space, it was one of the few places in the metropolitan city that exhibited nature in its entirety, a rarity. The park was an unspoken tribute to Shinto, the religion that dominated Japan. It was a stunning foreground to the buildings.
Serena was a twelfth grader at Juuban Crossroads High School, a senior, when the young man, no more than twenty-two, started showing up at the Café à l'eau every once in a while. He was tall and lean, at about six feet tall with ebony hair and dark eyes that seemed almost violet. Handsome? Definitely, but not in an enchanting sense, and no more than some other men. More so, he was mysterious.
On this day in November-or more accurately November 3rd-the wind blew from the northwest bringing a chill to autumn in Tokyo. Outside one of the large ceiling-to-floor windows in the Café, the beautiful red, gold and tan leaves could be seen as they fell to carpet the ground or onto the water where they floated like little boats. The young man sat at his usual table by the window facing the lake. It was a table for two, but it always only occupied one. He was immersed in the papers spread all over the table, reading, and every once in a while, jotting notes on them. A thoughtful, distracted look crossed over his brow and he frowned a bit making him look extremely sophisticated behind his streamlined black glasses. Serena didn't know what attracted her to him-it wasn't all about looks-it was something else, something deeper. Her inability to pinpoint her curiosity both confused and frustrated her over this complete stranger.
It was 6:37 P.M. Serena took her last order before she flung off her apron in the backroom and picked up her schoolbooks to head on home. It was already getting dark outside and after waving good-bye to her manager (a real Frenchman!), she shivered as she stepped out into the slightly damp evening air. She had noticed that the man had left already when she came out. Serena pulled her jacket around tighter as she moved to the bus stop, shuffling the newly fallen leaves to the side. It was seasonally chilly and Serena found herself cursing her high school for requiring such skirts for the dress code. Her legs would freeze soon, she thought as she clapped her hands together and grimaced. After walking only a short block from the Café, Serena halted suddenly, a few feet from the curb and bus stop sign when she saw a figure with his back towards her, also waiting for the bus. He was cloaked in a black jacket, and she watched as he pulled on leather gloves, rubbed his hands together and stuffed them into the pockets. It was the young man from the Café.
Serena sighed quietly and closed her eyes to breathe in the cool autumn air. Why not? She walked slowly up to the curb to stop next to the man. There was no way around it; she needed to take the bus to get home. His glasses were not on as he turned his head towards the presence that was adjacent to him. He took in the sight of the pale, almost luminous skin under the dimming sun's light of the young girl and her blonde hair. She stared at the lake across the road, head held high, nose slightly upturned. He also turned back to look straight ahead, face expressionless.
It was quiet for a while until Serena finally spoke up. "Who are you?" The young man, surprised, turned to see Serena glancing at him expectantly. She immediately blushed and looked down. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be impolite. It's just that . . ." She trailed off unsure of what to say to this stranger.
He relaxed and chuckled but immediately stopped when he felt Serena stiffen beside him. A simple schoolgirl, he thought. He hoped he hadn't scared her. "No need to apologize. I'm Darien." He extended his gloved hand. Serena took it.
"Serena Tsukino. Nice to meet you." A small smile crossed her face.
"You work at the Café à l'eau, right?"
"Yeah, I notice that you were there today . . ."
And so commenced the fateful first conversation between two people, connected in ways never imagined by either of them.
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The lobby was bustling with people in Serena's apartment complex. Ignoring them, she edged her way through the crowds to get to the elevator. She smiled a thanks to the young woman who held the door open for her and as she stepped in, she pressed the button labeled "16" for floor 16. Serena's mind was filled with the past events at the bus stop. Darien.The name wasn't common. They had conversed for about ten minutes before the bus finally arrived. She had learned that he was 20 years old, and a student at the University of Japan-Tokyo. A native of Osaka, he had rented an apartment, a few blocks down from Serena's own. She remembered how his eyes had sparkled when he talked about his goal to become a neurosurgeon and her mind immediately flickered to her friend, Amy Mizuno, who also hoped to study medicine. She sighed and gripped her books tighter as she watched the numbers in the elevator flicker as they changed floors: 4 . . . 5 . . . 6 . . . 7 . . . Although they hadn't exchanged contact information, she had a feeling that she would be seeing Darien again.
Serena fumbled with her keys as she yawned. The key found the hole and a click allowed Serena access to her apartment. She stepped inside and paused while briefly surveying the room, taking in the sight. Funny how she never noticed how messy the living room got. How long was it since she last cleaned it? One month, one year? The living room area was connected to the kitchen and both had random clothes strewn everywhere. Serena felt her eyes blur from a lack of sleep from the night before: Insomnia. What a nuisance. She flopped down on the small navy-blue sofa and threw her books on the tea table absently. She rolled over and closed her eyes. As she felt herself drifting off to sleep, Serena remembered mumbling something about how chores and homework could wait for a little nap . . .
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"Heartrate! Heartrate, stat!" The doctors ran around frantically, unorganized and panicked. Serena could hear nothing, could see nothing, as she sat on a bench outside the Emergency Room with her head in her trembling hands. She didn't know what was going on, but the 14-year-old girl could sense the Doctors' feelings, their fading hope. Seconds turned into minutes, minutes turned into hours, and still nothing. At approximately 11:00 P.M., she walked dejectedly towards ER103, behind her sobbing mother, with no feeling in her heart, as if it were numb.
A cloud of death followed the parade as if it were a funeral procession . . . and in a way, it was. A wave of formaldehyde hit Serena as she entered the room. She looked up with tired blue eyes to see a 47 year old man on the hospital bed, eyes closed, face white. An IV was up his arm, but the heart monitor depicted a flat green line, a signal of death.
Tears then flowed freely down the girl's cheeks silently as she stared unbelievingly. In a sudden motion, the final strands holding Serena's control together snapped. She screamed as loud as she could, fists clenched in defiance, face turned towards the sky, crying as if the angels would somehow hear her pain and banish this nightmare that was haunting her. As a nurse tried to restrain her, she kicked, scratched at the woman and thrashed around uncontrollably, crying, screaming and cursing the world. On the bed, oblivious to the happenings, a man lay, forever unable to move again.
On April 12, 1996, Kirk Tsukino, father to Serena and Sammy Tsukino, husband to Irene Tsukino, died from heart complications in a car accident.
Serena Tsukino lost her father at 14 and her mother at 15. After her father's death, she gave herself to a dream world. Grades plummeted to an all time low. She blamed the doctors, her mother and mostly herself for the death. Why wasn't she a more dutiful daughter? Why didn't she go with him to the store that night? Why couldn't God take her, the spoiled brat, instead of her poor father who only worked, only lived for the absolute love of life?
For Serena, her friends tried to comfort her at school. Amy Mizuno, Raye Hino, Lita Makoto, Mina Aino, were Serena's childhood friends and they all attended Juuban Crossroads HS together. Sick of being pitied, Serena pasted on a happy, goofy, exterior to paint a picture of a clumsy, naïve teenager. Still, she saw the raised eyebrows her friends gave each other behind her back. They weren't convinced. They knew Serena too well, but Serena didn't care. Why create a tornado when there's no reason to? Besides she was slowly drifting away from her friends. Their usually sleepovers became a reminder to Serena of how it was like before her father left her. So, she just stopped attending the gatherings altogether.
At home, the relationship between Serena and her family became more strained with each passing day. Irene became a ghost to everyone but her children. She withdrew herself from the social circles and lost touch with friends she had known since middle school. Shingo wasn't doing much better; he went to school, but didn't try. Unknown to his family, he joined a gang and started to try out the world of drugs and alcohol . . . all at age twelve. Fights were frequent and violent. It came to the point that Serena decided to move out on her 16th birthday, Sweet Sixteen.
At an age where most people celebrated the start of a coming-of-age, Serena Tsukino was busy preparing herself for the single life. She found her current apartment, Room 16D, on the other side of Hikimo Park, across from the Café à l'eau. Her mother, Irene watched helplessly as her daughter packed up her life and moved away on her birthday. Secretly, Irene Tsukino blamed herself. Another failure that was her fault. She didn't even know where Serena was moving to and she didn't have enough energy to stop her or even to ask. It broke both their hearts.
Serena left her home of fifteen years early in the morning of June 30, without a good-bye and without looking back. She didn't know that her mother sat crying that whole day when she discovered that her daughter was truly gone. She didn't know that Sammy had refused to come out of his room that day, crying and hoping for his sister to return, even though he coldly denied it later on to his "mother". Since then, Serena never returned, never passed by and never visited Irene and Sammy.
Serena Tsukino had two lives that resulted from her father's death. Her outer exterior covered her pain from all but her friends with whom she had steadily grown further apart. Her inner life portrayed all her pain, all her troubles with her broken family. Her two lives were separate, but connected in a twisted paradox where both were results from the same incident. Her secrets were tearing her apart slowly until she met Darien. Darien, a man with his own shielded problems, a man who would occupy Serena's mind to turn her life upside down.
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Tap . . . tap . . . tap . . . The pencil point collided with the desk rhythmically. Serena sat at her desk in front of Raye Hino in last period Pre-Calculus struggling to keep her mind on taking notes. Instead, more often she found herself thinking about Darien. Would he be at the Café today? For some reason, she found herself hoping that she could hear his soothing voice again. Her 'dependence' frustrated her. It frustrated her immensely.
As Serena was fighting her inner turmoil, she didn't notice that school was dismissed until Raye poked her. "Time to go. You coming?" Raye slung her backpack on one shoulder and smiled. She was a slim girl of seventeen also and at five foot, six inches, her beautiful black hair and violet eyes were her greatest assets.
"Oh yeah, yeah. I'm coming." Serena stood up hastily and grabbed her backpack, momentary forgetting about Darien. They headed towards Amy Mizuno's locker where they met every day after school. Some things never changed. Even though Serena was nowhere near as close to her friends as she once was, she always made an effort to participate in certain activities to the best of her ability. It became so routine that Serena felt as if one could flip a light switch and she could instantly convert from her hidden but frequent emotionless, placid mood to the happy show that she put on for the people in her life. Serena felt like the girl who could change masks to show her various emotions, but hid her true interior.
In the crowded school hallway, she was playing her part, but it was harder to keep the act up, partly because the mysterious Darien was on her mind. As they dodged the groups of people that paused to talk in the middle of the hallway, Raye spoke up. "You okay, Serena? You seemed quieter today."
Serena answered quickly, "No, I'm fine." As she slipped in between people trying to get to their lockers, she kept her head down but she could still feel Raye gazing at her. There was a time that she could tell Raye anything, she could tell Amy or Mina anything and everything. Now it just didn't feel right; they weren't as close as before.
"Okay," Raye said slowly, doubt obvious in her voice. "Well, Amy and Mina are coming over to the Temple later. You wanna come?" (Raye Hino was a priestess at her grandfather's Shinto Temple.) They had reached Amy's locker and Raye looked at Serena with a curious gaze.
Serena's eyes flickered for a second. She wanted to go. She really wanted to go, but . . . "I can't Raye. I have to go to work." She shifted her bag and peered down the hallway that was thinning to find Amy Mizuno and Mina Aino heading their way, talking and laughing.
"Oh yeah. That's okay meatball head." Raye pushed Serena playfully.
Serena smiled. "You ass." Meatball head was an affectionate nickname between them. Mina bounded up to them, bubbly as always. "Hey you guys!"
Amy followed. "Sorry we're late. I had to speak to my Japanese teacher about the upcoming exam and Mina waited for me. Just let me get my books, and we'll be on our way." As she worked on the combination lock, Mina started to chat about her day. While Raye listened, Serena unintentionally tuned herself out. Amy always drove everyone home, because Mina and Raye didn't have cars and Serena only had her permit because she couldn't master the skills of driving per se.
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Serena found her mind drifting to her family as she reclined in the back seat of Amy's blue Toyota Corolla. She looked out the window and watched the passing scenes. They were now passing a quiet average neighborhood, close to the suburbs with two-story houses that were built approximately half a century ago: this was Mina's neighborhood. Amy, Mina and Raye were chatting away about something that happened at school, as usual. Occasionally Serena joined in the conversation, but most of the time she was just content to admire the fall leaves. As she watched a young child jump into a fresh pile of raked leaves, she remembered when she would have the same fun, playing with leaves, having her father lift her up high above his head. "Serena! You're my little bunny . . . " And little Serena would laugh, unaware of the problems around the corner, only knowing that her father and her were together, that they would always be together.
So, that wasn't the case. Her father died. Her mother changed. What could she do about it? She could only attempt to move on. With each passing day, she still felt the pain of that day in the hospital. It had been three years.
"I'll see you later Serena," Mina's comment pulled Serena out of her reverie. Mina had already gotten out of the car, which now rested in front of her house. Serena smiled and waved to Mina as the car pulled out of the driveway. Serena's destination was next: the Café. She worked there every day from 2:30 P.M. to 6:30 P.M.
Ten minutes later, Serena was already in the backroom changing into her outfit that consisted of a black miniskirt, a crisp white shirt and the checkered apron. She didn't mind it, but it was just another small inconvenience, paying for the overly expensive articles with her own money. Serena stood up, peered at herself in the mirror and smiled. Her hair was up in its "meatballs" since she hadn't bothered to put it in the ponytail she usually wore at work. Serena picked up her books and stuffed them into her locker before going to take over for the other girl at the front counter.
The one thing Serena loved about working at the Café was the type of interactions that occurred there. There were many regulars who came in and ordered the same thing each day. After a while, Serena would know to put a pinch of lemon juice in Mrs. Takahashi's cappuccino or not to add cream to Mr. Saki's coffee because he would break out in allergic reactions, without the customers having to ask. It was pleasurable having this one-on-one relationship with the customers, even if it was only over beverages and food. It was routine, reliable, and reliability was exactly what Serena had learned to treasure.
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The veined tiles on the counter shined scintillatingly as Serena scrubbed at them with vigor. It was her last task of the day and she still hadn't seen the intriguing man, Darien Chiba, who occupied her mind more than he should have. Looks like he's not coming today, Serena thought as she rinsed out the cloth with which she had cleaned the counters. She turned off the water and looked around the café. It was dim, the walls pained a dark yellow, more like a cream color. There were a few people sitting in the plush chairs, the barstools. There was one couple, dressed elegantly as if they were going to a cocktail party. They were young and seemed very much in love as they sat across from each other, whispering secrets only they could hear.
Darien wasn't there. That was unusual.
The clock on the wall read 6:34 P.M. Serena's shift was over. She glanced over at the only other person behind the counter who was currently cleaning the cappuccino maker, her manager, an immigrant from France. She was asking silently if she could leave. A kind man of only thirty-six, Jacques caught Serena's eye and nodded his approval.
Five minutes later, Serena walked out of the backroom wearing her school clothes and carrying her bag. She waved good-bye to Jacques and started towards the double glass doors. It wasn't dark outside yet-the sliver of light left was rapidly disappearing behind the horizon. Serena walked outside and paused. She breathed in deeply, her eyes closed, taking in the unusually nice evening. It wasn't as cold as the day before and she shed her heavy jacket before starting her stroll along the pathway by Lake Nomuri. The light breeze made small ripples in the water that were lightly illuminated by the setting sun and rising moon. A family of ducks swam around, close to the bank. Serena decided that she catch the bus from the station on the other side of the park instead of heading towards the closest one. In doing so, it would allow her to take a stroll by the beautiful lake and through the park.
Serena paused by the lakefront to smooth her skirt before moving on. However, her eyes were now concentrated on a point across the lake, in the trees, where she thought she had seen a flash of something. Due to this, a moment later, she inadvertently walked straight into another person.
"Oh! I'm sorry-I wasn't watching my steps . . ." Serena quickly backed away but trailed off in her apologies when she saw who she was apologizing to. It was Darien Chiba, in all black, and wearing his trim spectacles again. He had slung a black messengers' bag over his shoulder, most likely his school bag.
"Serena," He greeted her with a smile. "You're off from work?"
Serena shifted her jacket. For some reason, she wasn't really surprised to see him. For some reason, she just knew. Although she had only spoken to him once before, she felt that he was the type of person who would listen, who was . . . different. He was different. Why else would he occupy her mind so much? It wasn't plain old infatuation-there was something about him; to Serena, he felt like an old acquaintance rather than a stranger. "Yes. My shift ended at seven."
"Ah, I am now on my way there-must make my daily stop for the chocolate mocha." Darien smiled as he pulled off his sleek glasses and tucked them into his breast pocket.
Serena cocked her head to the side and frowned at him curiously, "Now? But it's so much later than the time you usually come in." Serena blushed as soon as the words were out of her mouth. She didn't want him to know that she actually paid attention to him, specifically. Oh well, it was too late- besides at least she stopped talking before she could blurt out that she had been expecting him. How stalker-like would that have made her sound?
"I was held up today because I had to speak to my professor about certain matters. It took longer than expected." Darien motioned to his bag with annoyance as he recalled the incident. He then turned to look Serena in the eyes warmly. "Where are you heading to?"
Serena froze. His gaze was so hypnotizing-those violet eyes were unique and could seem to haunt anyone for days. She felt as though some of her soul was visible to him. Flustered, she broke eye contact by looking down at something that appeared to be very interesting on her shoe. "I heading to the bus stop at 9th and Kuzo."
He nodded, "You wanted to take a walk because it's a nice evening."
"Yes." Serena allowed herself a peek at the man's handsome features. "I must go now. My parents would be expecting me." Serena lied to Darien because she had not told him about the problems in her life yet. It would probably scare him away, she thought sadly.
Darien gave a little bow to her and stepped aside for Serena to pass before continuing on his own way. The sun had almost completely set. Serena walked about ten feet before turning around to watch Darien's retreating back.
Before she could stop herself, she heard herself call out, "Darien!"
He turned and looked back at her expectedly.
"I will see you again, right?"
Darien's face broke into a smile. "Of course. You know I always come in to the café. It's routine." He waved and went on his way.
Serena slowly started walking again and it was then that she realized that she had been holding her breath. Routine. That's what he said. Routine was the one thing that kept Serena's life in what little balance it had. In that sense, routine was Serena's life. But why did she have the sense that Darien's daily "routine" would make her life very "unroutine"?
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END OF CHAPTER ONE
Disclaimers and Tributes: The title was inspired by Good Charlotte. Characters are property of Naoko Takeuchi and her masterpiece, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon.
Notes: Please give your opinions so far-the title should give a clue to the idea that I'm working towards. Thanks!
Chapter One: Sweet Sixteen
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Under the conditions, she didn't think she offended him. In fact he intrigued her. It was almost one month since he started coming in, and he, a complete stranger, occupied her mind more than her own life. Was that obsessive? Maybe. Nevertheless he cast a spell over her, a silly high school girl in the new millennium.
Serena Tsukino straightened her checkered apron over her skirt and picked up a small notepad. She had a slight figure at seventeen, thin and five foot, four inches. Her long blonde hair was pulled back in a neat ponytail that differed from her usual hairstyle of two buns with a ponytail streaming from each, what her friends liked to call "meatballs". Serena was an after school waitress at the Café à l'eau, translated to the Café at the Water. Located on the edge of the largest manmade lake in Tokyo, Lake Nomuri, it had spectacular views of the skyscrapers across the water in Center City. The Café was on a quiet tree-lined road with many other quaint stores and restaurants encircling the lake. The area was on the edge of the Tokyo Pavilion, a large complex that featured the best shopping, dining and hotels of the city. There was a walkway or bike-path also in front of the Café and just beyond the lake, there was Hikimo Park, a pride of Tokyo residents. A vast space, it was one of the few places in the metropolitan city that exhibited nature in its entirety, a rarity. The park was an unspoken tribute to Shinto, the religion that dominated Japan. It was a stunning foreground to the buildings.
Serena was a twelfth grader at Juuban Crossroads High School, a senior, when the young man, no more than twenty-two, started showing up at the Café à l'eau every once in a while. He was tall and lean, at about six feet tall with ebony hair and dark eyes that seemed almost violet. Handsome? Definitely, but not in an enchanting sense, and no more than some other men. More so, he was mysterious.
On this day in November-or more accurately November 3rd-the wind blew from the northwest bringing a chill to autumn in Tokyo. Outside one of the large ceiling-to-floor windows in the Café, the beautiful red, gold and tan leaves could be seen as they fell to carpet the ground or onto the water where they floated like little boats. The young man sat at his usual table by the window facing the lake. It was a table for two, but it always only occupied one. He was immersed in the papers spread all over the table, reading, and every once in a while, jotting notes on them. A thoughtful, distracted look crossed over his brow and he frowned a bit making him look extremely sophisticated behind his streamlined black glasses. Serena didn't know what attracted her to him-it wasn't all about looks-it was something else, something deeper. Her inability to pinpoint her curiosity both confused and frustrated her over this complete stranger.
It was 6:37 P.M. Serena took her last order before she flung off her apron in the backroom and picked up her schoolbooks to head on home. It was already getting dark outside and after waving good-bye to her manager (a real Frenchman!), she shivered as she stepped out into the slightly damp evening air. She had noticed that the man had left already when she came out. Serena pulled her jacket around tighter as she moved to the bus stop, shuffling the newly fallen leaves to the side. It was seasonally chilly and Serena found herself cursing her high school for requiring such skirts for the dress code. Her legs would freeze soon, she thought as she clapped her hands together and grimaced. After walking only a short block from the Café, Serena halted suddenly, a few feet from the curb and bus stop sign when she saw a figure with his back towards her, also waiting for the bus. He was cloaked in a black jacket, and she watched as he pulled on leather gloves, rubbed his hands together and stuffed them into the pockets. It was the young man from the Café.
Serena sighed quietly and closed her eyes to breathe in the cool autumn air. Why not? She walked slowly up to the curb to stop next to the man. There was no way around it; she needed to take the bus to get home. His glasses were not on as he turned his head towards the presence that was adjacent to him. He took in the sight of the pale, almost luminous skin under the dimming sun's light of the young girl and her blonde hair. She stared at the lake across the road, head held high, nose slightly upturned. He also turned back to look straight ahead, face expressionless.
It was quiet for a while until Serena finally spoke up. "Who are you?" The young man, surprised, turned to see Serena glancing at him expectantly. She immediately blushed and looked down. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be impolite. It's just that . . ." She trailed off unsure of what to say to this stranger.
He relaxed and chuckled but immediately stopped when he felt Serena stiffen beside him. A simple schoolgirl, he thought. He hoped he hadn't scared her. "No need to apologize. I'm Darien." He extended his gloved hand. Serena took it.
"Serena Tsukino. Nice to meet you." A small smile crossed her face.
"You work at the Café à l'eau, right?"
"Yeah, I notice that you were there today . . ."
And so commenced the fateful first conversation between two people, connected in ways never imagined by either of them.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The lobby was bustling with people in Serena's apartment complex. Ignoring them, she edged her way through the crowds to get to the elevator. She smiled a thanks to the young woman who held the door open for her and as she stepped in, she pressed the button labeled "16" for floor 16. Serena's mind was filled with the past events at the bus stop. Darien.The name wasn't common. They had conversed for about ten minutes before the bus finally arrived. She had learned that he was 20 years old, and a student at the University of Japan-Tokyo. A native of Osaka, he had rented an apartment, a few blocks down from Serena's own. She remembered how his eyes had sparkled when he talked about his goal to become a neurosurgeon and her mind immediately flickered to her friend, Amy Mizuno, who also hoped to study medicine. She sighed and gripped her books tighter as she watched the numbers in the elevator flicker as they changed floors: 4 . . . 5 . . . 6 . . . 7 . . . Although they hadn't exchanged contact information, she had a feeling that she would be seeing Darien again.
Serena fumbled with her keys as she yawned. The key found the hole and a click allowed Serena access to her apartment. She stepped inside and paused while briefly surveying the room, taking in the sight. Funny how she never noticed how messy the living room got. How long was it since she last cleaned it? One month, one year? The living room area was connected to the kitchen and both had random clothes strewn everywhere. Serena felt her eyes blur from a lack of sleep from the night before: Insomnia. What a nuisance. She flopped down on the small navy-blue sofa and threw her books on the tea table absently. She rolled over and closed her eyes. As she felt herself drifting off to sleep, Serena remembered mumbling something about how chores and homework could wait for a little nap . . .
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"Heartrate! Heartrate, stat!" The doctors ran around frantically, unorganized and panicked. Serena could hear nothing, could see nothing, as she sat on a bench outside the Emergency Room with her head in her trembling hands. She didn't know what was going on, but the 14-year-old girl could sense the Doctors' feelings, their fading hope. Seconds turned into minutes, minutes turned into hours, and still nothing. At approximately 11:00 P.M., she walked dejectedly towards ER103, behind her sobbing mother, with no feeling in her heart, as if it were numb.
A cloud of death followed the parade as if it were a funeral procession . . . and in a way, it was. A wave of formaldehyde hit Serena as she entered the room. She looked up with tired blue eyes to see a 47 year old man on the hospital bed, eyes closed, face white. An IV was up his arm, but the heart monitor depicted a flat green line, a signal of death.
Tears then flowed freely down the girl's cheeks silently as she stared unbelievingly. In a sudden motion, the final strands holding Serena's control together snapped. She screamed as loud as she could, fists clenched in defiance, face turned towards the sky, crying as if the angels would somehow hear her pain and banish this nightmare that was haunting her. As a nurse tried to restrain her, she kicked, scratched at the woman and thrashed around uncontrollably, crying, screaming and cursing the world. On the bed, oblivious to the happenings, a man lay, forever unable to move again.
On April 12, 1996, Kirk Tsukino, father to Serena and Sammy Tsukino, husband to Irene Tsukino, died from heart complications in a car accident.
Serena Tsukino lost her father at 14 and her mother at 15. After her father's death, she gave herself to a dream world. Grades plummeted to an all time low. She blamed the doctors, her mother and mostly herself for the death. Why wasn't she a more dutiful daughter? Why didn't she go with him to the store that night? Why couldn't God take her, the spoiled brat, instead of her poor father who only worked, only lived for the absolute love of life?
For Serena, her friends tried to comfort her at school. Amy Mizuno, Raye Hino, Lita Makoto, Mina Aino, were Serena's childhood friends and they all attended Juuban Crossroads HS together. Sick of being pitied, Serena pasted on a happy, goofy, exterior to paint a picture of a clumsy, naïve teenager. Still, she saw the raised eyebrows her friends gave each other behind her back. They weren't convinced. They knew Serena too well, but Serena didn't care. Why create a tornado when there's no reason to? Besides she was slowly drifting away from her friends. Their usually sleepovers became a reminder to Serena of how it was like before her father left her. So, she just stopped attending the gatherings altogether.
At home, the relationship between Serena and her family became more strained with each passing day. Irene became a ghost to everyone but her children. She withdrew herself from the social circles and lost touch with friends she had known since middle school. Shingo wasn't doing much better; he went to school, but didn't try. Unknown to his family, he joined a gang and started to try out the world of drugs and alcohol . . . all at age twelve. Fights were frequent and violent. It came to the point that Serena decided to move out on her 16th birthday, Sweet Sixteen.
At an age where most people celebrated the start of a coming-of-age, Serena Tsukino was busy preparing herself for the single life. She found her current apartment, Room 16D, on the other side of Hikimo Park, across from the Café à l'eau. Her mother, Irene watched helplessly as her daughter packed up her life and moved away on her birthday. Secretly, Irene Tsukino blamed herself. Another failure that was her fault. She didn't even know where Serena was moving to and she didn't have enough energy to stop her or even to ask. It broke both their hearts.
Serena left her home of fifteen years early in the morning of June 30, without a good-bye and without looking back. She didn't know that her mother sat crying that whole day when she discovered that her daughter was truly gone. She didn't know that Sammy had refused to come out of his room that day, crying and hoping for his sister to return, even though he coldly denied it later on to his "mother". Since then, Serena never returned, never passed by and never visited Irene and Sammy.
Serena Tsukino had two lives that resulted from her father's death. Her outer exterior covered her pain from all but her friends with whom she had steadily grown further apart. Her inner life portrayed all her pain, all her troubles with her broken family. Her two lives were separate, but connected in a twisted paradox where both were results from the same incident. Her secrets were tearing her apart slowly until she met Darien. Darien, a man with his own shielded problems, a man who would occupy Serena's mind to turn her life upside down.
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Tap . . . tap . . . tap . . . The pencil point collided with the desk rhythmically. Serena sat at her desk in front of Raye Hino in last period Pre-Calculus struggling to keep her mind on taking notes. Instead, more often she found herself thinking about Darien. Would he be at the Café today? For some reason, she found herself hoping that she could hear his soothing voice again. Her 'dependence' frustrated her. It frustrated her immensely.
As Serena was fighting her inner turmoil, she didn't notice that school was dismissed until Raye poked her. "Time to go. You coming?" Raye slung her backpack on one shoulder and smiled. She was a slim girl of seventeen also and at five foot, six inches, her beautiful black hair and violet eyes were her greatest assets.
"Oh yeah, yeah. I'm coming." Serena stood up hastily and grabbed her backpack, momentary forgetting about Darien. They headed towards Amy Mizuno's locker where they met every day after school. Some things never changed. Even though Serena was nowhere near as close to her friends as she once was, she always made an effort to participate in certain activities to the best of her ability. It became so routine that Serena felt as if one could flip a light switch and she could instantly convert from her hidden but frequent emotionless, placid mood to the happy show that she put on for the people in her life. Serena felt like the girl who could change masks to show her various emotions, but hid her true interior.
In the crowded school hallway, she was playing her part, but it was harder to keep the act up, partly because the mysterious Darien was on her mind. As they dodged the groups of people that paused to talk in the middle of the hallway, Raye spoke up. "You okay, Serena? You seemed quieter today."
Serena answered quickly, "No, I'm fine." As she slipped in between people trying to get to their lockers, she kept her head down but she could still feel Raye gazing at her. There was a time that she could tell Raye anything, she could tell Amy or Mina anything and everything. Now it just didn't feel right; they weren't as close as before.
"Okay," Raye said slowly, doubt obvious in her voice. "Well, Amy and Mina are coming over to the Temple later. You wanna come?" (Raye Hino was a priestess at her grandfather's Shinto Temple.) They had reached Amy's locker and Raye looked at Serena with a curious gaze.
Serena's eyes flickered for a second. She wanted to go. She really wanted to go, but . . . "I can't Raye. I have to go to work." She shifted her bag and peered down the hallway that was thinning to find Amy Mizuno and Mina Aino heading their way, talking and laughing.
"Oh yeah. That's okay meatball head." Raye pushed Serena playfully.
Serena smiled. "You ass." Meatball head was an affectionate nickname between them. Mina bounded up to them, bubbly as always. "Hey you guys!"
Amy followed. "Sorry we're late. I had to speak to my Japanese teacher about the upcoming exam and Mina waited for me. Just let me get my books, and we'll be on our way." As she worked on the combination lock, Mina started to chat about her day. While Raye listened, Serena unintentionally tuned herself out. Amy always drove everyone home, because Mina and Raye didn't have cars and Serena only had her permit because she couldn't master the skills of driving per se.
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Serena found her mind drifting to her family as she reclined in the back seat of Amy's blue Toyota Corolla. She looked out the window and watched the passing scenes. They were now passing a quiet average neighborhood, close to the suburbs with two-story houses that were built approximately half a century ago: this was Mina's neighborhood. Amy, Mina and Raye were chatting away about something that happened at school, as usual. Occasionally Serena joined in the conversation, but most of the time she was just content to admire the fall leaves. As she watched a young child jump into a fresh pile of raked leaves, she remembered when she would have the same fun, playing with leaves, having her father lift her up high above his head. "Serena! You're my little bunny . . . " And little Serena would laugh, unaware of the problems around the corner, only knowing that her father and her were together, that they would always be together.
So, that wasn't the case. Her father died. Her mother changed. What could she do about it? She could only attempt to move on. With each passing day, she still felt the pain of that day in the hospital. It had been three years.
"I'll see you later Serena," Mina's comment pulled Serena out of her reverie. Mina had already gotten out of the car, which now rested in front of her house. Serena smiled and waved to Mina as the car pulled out of the driveway. Serena's destination was next: the Café. She worked there every day from 2:30 P.M. to 6:30 P.M.
Ten minutes later, Serena was already in the backroom changing into her outfit that consisted of a black miniskirt, a crisp white shirt and the checkered apron. She didn't mind it, but it was just another small inconvenience, paying for the overly expensive articles with her own money. Serena stood up, peered at herself in the mirror and smiled. Her hair was up in its "meatballs" since she hadn't bothered to put it in the ponytail she usually wore at work. Serena picked up her books and stuffed them into her locker before going to take over for the other girl at the front counter.
The one thing Serena loved about working at the Café was the type of interactions that occurred there. There were many regulars who came in and ordered the same thing each day. After a while, Serena would know to put a pinch of lemon juice in Mrs. Takahashi's cappuccino or not to add cream to Mr. Saki's coffee because he would break out in allergic reactions, without the customers having to ask. It was pleasurable having this one-on-one relationship with the customers, even if it was only over beverages and food. It was routine, reliable, and reliability was exactly what Serena had learned to treasure.
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The veined tiles on the counter shined scintillatingly as Serena scrubbed at them with vigor. It was her last task of the day and she still hadn't seen the intriguing man, Darien Chiba, who occupied her mind more than he should have. Looks like he's not coming today, Serena thought as she rinsed out the cloth with which she had cleaned the counters. She turned off the water and looked around the café. It was dim, the walls pained a dark yellow, more like a cream color. There were a few people sitting in the plush chairs, the barstools. There was one couple, dressed elegantly as if they were going to a cocktail party. They were young and seemed very much in love as they sat across from each other, whispering secrets only they could hear.
Darien wasn't there. That was unusual.
The clock on the wall read 6:34 P.M. Serena's shift was over. She glanced over at the only other person behind the counter who was currently cleaning the cappuccino maker, her manager, an immigrant from France. She was asking silently if she could leave. A kind man of only thirty-six, Jacques caught Serena's eye and nodded his approval.
Five minutes later, Serena walked out of the backroom wearing her school clothes and carrying her bag. She waved good-bye to Jacques and started towards the double glass doors. It wasn't dark outside yet-the sliver of light left was rapidly disappearing behind the horizon. Serena walked outside and paused. She breathed in deeply, her eyes closed, taking in the unusually nice evening. It wasn't as cold as the day before and she shed her heavy jacket before starting her stroll along the pathway by Lake Nomuri. The light breeze made small ripples in the water that were lightly illuminated by the setting sun and rising moon. A family of ducks swam around, close to the bank. Serena decided that she catch the bus from the station on the other side of the park instead of heading towards the closest one. In doing so, it would allow her to take a stroll by the beautiful lake and through the park.
Serena paused by the lakefront to smooth her skirt before moving on. However, her eyes were now concentrated on a point across the lake, in the trees, where she thought she had seen a flash of something. Due to this, a moment later, she inadvertently walked straight into another person.
"Oh! I'm sorry-I wasn't watching my steps . . ." Serena quickly backed away but trailed off in her apologies when she saw who she was apologizing to. It was Darien Chiba, in all black, and wearing his trim spectacles again. He had slung a black messengers' bag over his shoulder, most likely his school bag.
"Serena," He greeted her with a smile. "You're off from work?"
Serena shifted her jacket. For some reason, she wasn't really surprised to see him. For some reason, she just knew. Although she had only spoken to him once before, she felt that he was the type of person who would listen, who was . . . different. He was different. Why else would he occupy her mind so much? It wasn't plain old infatuation-there was something about him; to Serena, he felt like an old acquaintance rather than a stranger. "Yes. My shift ended at seven."
"Ah, I am now on my way there-must make my daily stop for the chocolate mocha." Darien smiled as he pulled off his sleek glasses and tucked them into his breast pocket.
Serena cocked her head to the side and frowned at him curiously, "Now? But it's so much later than the time you usually come in." Serena blushed as soon as the words were out of her mouth. She didn't want him to know that she actually paid attention to him, specifically. Oh well, it was too late- besides at least she stopped talking before she could blurt out that she had been expecting him. How stalker-like would that have made her sound?
"I was held up today because I had to speak to my professor about certain matters. It took longer than expected." Darien motioned to his bag with annoyance as he recalled the incident. He then turned to look Serena in the eyes warmly. "Where are you heading to?"
Serena froze. His gaze was so hypnotizing-those violet eyes were unique and could seem to haunt anyone for days. She felt as though some of her soul was visible to him. Flustered, she broke eye contact by looking down at something that appeared to be very interesting on her shoe. "I heading to the bus stop at 9th and Kuzo."
He nodded, "You wanted to take a walk because it's a nice evening."
"Yes." Serena allowed herself a peek at the man's handsome features. "I must go now. My parents would be expecting me." Serena lied to Darien because she had not told him about the problems in her life yet. It would probably scare him away, she thought sadly.
Darien gave a little bow to her and stepped aside for Serena to pass before continuing on his own way. The sun had almost completely set. Serena walked about ten feet before turning around to watch Darien's retreating back.
Before she could stop herself, she heard herself call out, "Darien!"
He turned and looked back at her expectedly.
"I will see you again, right?"
Darien's face broke into a smile. "Of course. You know I always come in to the café. It's routine." He waved and went on his way.
Serena slowly started walking again and it was then that she realized that she had been holding her breath. Routine. That's what he said. Routine was the one thing that kept Serena's life in what little balance it had. In that sense, routine was Serena's life. But why did she have the sense that Darien's daily "routine" would make her life very "unroutine"?
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END OF CHAPTER ONE
Disclaimers and Tributes: The title was inspired by Good Charlotte. Characters are property of Naoko Takeuchi and her masterpiece, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon.
Notes: Please give your opinions so far-the title should give a clue to the idea that I'm working towards. Thanks!