This thing was sitting in my head for a long time now, and I couldn't resist writing Deadpool. He's my favorite Marvel character of all time. I don't know if I should do a multi-chapter story for this, but this gets positive feedback, then its more than likely. Well, have at it!

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You know, I have to say, at first I was digging this place. I mean, this fake universe is so much simpler than the fake universe I came from. No shapeshifting aliens with stupid chins, no planet-eating men in purple suits, no Squirrel Girls…

And the fact that people only had four types of powers available to them. Even better, they wore colors that displayed who they were and what they could do! Yay for color-coding!

But then I found out that a century-long war was ravaging the planet. That wasn't too bad. I mean, yeah war's awful and everything, but I'm not afraid to do lil war profiteering in a place that I had no emotional connection to. Not that I wouldn't do that in a place that I had emotional connection to, it's just that I've got enough mental and emotional scars, ya know?

And then I found out there were no guns. No grenades. No guns. No rocket-launchers. And no guns.

They have goddamn tanks, but no guns.

So now I have to make do with what I have. Two submachine guns, a rifle, and my two blades.

Whoopee.

And, since my writers prefer my life being an over-the-top and apparently hilarious hell, now I'm being attacked by soldiers that shoot fire from their various appendages. And I didn't even do anything wrong!

…Well, I admit I was very curious to see if their armor was impervious to bullets, and that lone guard was just, well, alone. So I did a little field test.

Good news: he was killed by the bullet.

Bad news: he was killed by the bullet.

And of course a patrol was coming by then and there. And chaos ensued. And in addition to that, I've got the two other voices in my head belittling me for killing the guy in the first place.

Remind me again why you killed a random guy on the road?

"I was curious!" I yell at my mind.

Curiosity killed the cat.

"No it didn't! It made the cat more knowledgeable and it gained experience from its…experience."

So what exactly did you gain from killing him?!

"Well I-AAARRRGGHH!"

One of the soldiers actually hit me that time, setting my arm on fire. Ignoring the pain, I leap into the air and slash the guy across the chest. Blood began to pool onto the ground from his wounds, and he was screaming in pain. I put an end to his suffering with a shot through the heart.

And you're to blame!

You give love…

"A bad name!"

The soldiers ignore my musical antics, and continue with their fire blasting. I guess they have no taste for music. I'm done dodging now. Time to get on the offensive. I roll behind a rock and take out my M-16. Before I can even aim, though, I'm interrupted by those damn voices.

You have to conserve ammo! There isn't any to spare here! And what do you mean by 'those damn voices'?!

I think he's getting annoyed with us.

But we're trying to help him!

I know, I know. I think he's just going through a phase.

"Yeah, I'm having a period!" I offer.

That's disgusting…

"Not like that, you sicko!"

Try to phrase it better than "I'm having a period", please.

"Hey you're my brain, you're supposed to do the thinking for me!"

Then here's an idea; put the gun away and kill them before they burn us alive!

I sigh as I slide the rifle back over my shoulder and unsheathe my sword. The sleek steel reflects the sunlight across the surface, allowing it to shine all of its pointy-slashy beauty. I run up the rock and leap off the tip, my blade raised for a downward strike.

A sickening squishy noise effectively ends any theatrics. Of course they pointed a spear at a charging opponent. Now I'm stuck halfway through the shaft of the weapon, with the soldiers staring at me with dumbfounded expressions.

You have a spear in your chest.

"Many thanks." I stare down at the soldiers. "Um, boy is this awkward, huh? I mean, not like did-I-just-say-that-to my-grandma awkward, but holy-crudscones-I-have-spear-in-my-chest awkward…"

"How…how are you alive?" breathed the guy who had me speared.

At this point he was struggling to keep me up, and his grip was shaking horribly.

Instead of answering, I kick the part of the spear in front of me, snapping it in two. I fall to the ground, landing on my feet. With the soldiers still bamboozled by the whole not-dying thing, I stab one right through the chest. Seriously, is their armor made of paper or something?

Remembering that I'm a threat, they renew their attacks. One wielding a sword makes a wild swing at me, which I easily parry and counter. The spearmen try to impale me from a distance, but with one slash the points are cut off. Panicked, they make hasty retreat, hiding behind the fire-users. Unfortunately, I'm too far to attack, and they could incinerate me before I even reach them. But I'll keep that my little secret.

Much to my surprise, then, when the soldiers were flung away by some unseen force. A rush of wind flew past me, causing my costume to billow and ruffle. I look up to see a flying bald kid leaping over me, land gracefully back on the ground, and push the soldiers away even further with a pushing movement with his hands.

Um, who the hell is this kid?

Hey, any help is appreciated.

Even help from random monk kids with magic kung-fu?

"Thanks random monk kid with magic kung-fu!"

The boy looks at me with a curious glance. "Um, you're welcome?"

When he kept on staring at me, I asked, "What, never seen a full-grown man in skin-tight latex before?"

He pointed at me, his finger shaking, "You have a….a spear in your chest."

Oh, woopsie.

As I pull the weapon out, the kid squirms and averts his eyes as blood pours out of my wound. Once the thing is finally out, he lets out a sigh of relief. When he notices I'm not screaming in pain like sane people should, he asks, "Doesn't that hurt?"

I just shrug. "Yeah, but you get used to it after a while. Trust me; worse things have happened to me."

"Well, Katara can heal that up for you if you want."

"Thanks for the offer, but my super-convenient healing factor is taking care of it. See?"

His jaw dropped as my chest pulled itself together. Chunks of mangled flesh mashed back together in a hideous display.

"How….?"

Any further questions were stopped however by the arrival of…dear God, is that a flying cow? That has got to be the biggest six-legged flying cow I have ever seen. On top of the thing were two other kids, both wearing blue. One was a boy, the other a girl. The girl was good-looking, no doubt, but she looked a bit young for me. I mean, a bit young for the age I've been in for the past 20 years or so, whatever the hell that is. I don't think even my creator knows how old I am.

"There's a huge group of firebenders coming!" yelled the boy, "Get on, quick!"

Without another word the monk hops on the cow with a long leap and the same grace he used before. Definitely a metahuman. He turned back to me and said, "Come on!"

Um, okay.

I jump into the cow's saddle, and the beast rises into the air with a slap of its tail. As we rise in the air, I see a regiment of those fire-people marching on our previous location. Suddenly I take out my M-16 and take aim at them. Once I have one in my sights, I shoot. The bullet goes through the poor sap's head and he slumps to ground.

I raise my hands in victory. "BAM! Headshot!"

By now the three other kids are staring at me with frightened expressions. Finally I get a good look at them. I can easily tell that each one of them has a completely different personality just by the way they're looking at me. But then it hits me.

We just joined up with the small group of drastically different characters on a quest to end tyranny, didn't we?

Yup.

"Goddamit…" I mutter under my breath.

Hey, hold on here guys. This could be a golden opportunity.

For what, exactly?

Well, as he stated in his introductory monologue, this place seems better than where we came from. No infinite amount of random super-powered guys in tights.

No Squirrel Girl.

Exactly! Besides, our old world is kinda getting stale. We know all there is to about that place. But here, we can act without everyone treating us like crap! Meet new people, see new sights…

"You know what, you're right! I could use a simplified, linear plot where it's easy to tell who's good and who's not!"

Hm. Yeah, we could use a break from the moral hell back home.

Across the saddle, Sokka whispered to his sister, "Who's he talking to?"

"Alritey!" I shout. The three teens jumped at my abrupt increase of volume. "I shall join you!"

"Uh…what?" asked the girl.

"I wanna join you guys! I can help fight and provide extra drama and shipping choice!"

"I don't know…"she said.

"Actually," said the monk kid, "From what I saw, he's got a lot of skills. And he's got that..uh, what'd you call it?"

"Healing factor."

"Yeah, healing factor. He can take hits and be fine right away!"

"Really?" inquired the other boy. His interest was obviously growing. "Well, that would certainly be helpful."

"What do you think, Katara?" asked the monk.

The girl, Katara, sighed, "Okay. He might be a little…unusual…but he could be useful."

"Awesome! Trust me, guys, you won't regret it!"

They probably will after you spout nonsense every waking moment.

He is who he is.

A smile crosses my grotesque face. Honestly, a genuinely new world and new characters was an immense relief. It'll be fun to see how I interfere with the original plot, at any rate.