Disclaimer: Okay, I know I have a lot of other stories to finish, but I just had to write this story! But I am working on more than one story at once! So they are getting done! Don't worry! Anyways, hope you enjoy this story! Oh, and if the first chapter seems familiar to some of you…it's because I took my songfic and put it into this story…so yeah…anyways, please enjoy! ^_^
~ Kaoru's POV ~
It's after school hours, and all the hosts are in Music Room 3. Hikaru had been staring at Haruhi all day. Ever since their date in Karuizawa, they've been going out pretty often. Hikaru even confessed his true feelings to Haruhi, and that's how they got together.
So now, during club hours, he's been over at Haruhi's table and I'm at mine…all alone.
I think he's forgotten all about me now that Haruhi's there. He never gives me a hug, a high five, nothing! We never say anything in unison anymore, and he talks in complete sentences. It's like he doesn't need me anymore. It's like; I'm not his twin…
~Later that night~
It was time for bed and surprisingly, Hikaru and I both shared the same bed. He never asked to get a separate room or anything. Then why wouldn't he talk to me?
I looked over at him, and his body slowly moved up and down – a sign that he was out cold.
I turned on my side, facing Hikaru, wrapped my arms around him, and closed my eyes.
We both lie silently still in the dead of the night
Although we lie close together, we feel miles apart inside
Was it something I said, or something I did?
Did my words not come out right?
Flashback
"Hikaru, did you want to do anything after school today?" I asked.
Hikaru was once again staring off into space – thinking about Haruhi.
"HIKARU!!!"
"Huh, what?" he turned to face me.
"Have you not been listening to me for the past five minutes?"
"Sorry Kaoru, I was just thinking about Haruhi."
My eyes widened as he said that. It tore me up inside to hear him say her name. I knew he had feelings for her; it's just that he didn't see it yet.
I sighed.
"Hikaru, I have something I need to tell you, and I know you probably won't understand."
"Yes, what is it Kaoru?"
I took in a deep breath. "Hikaru, I know you may not realize it, but you have feelings for Haruhi."
He stared at me confused. "What do you mean Kaoru? I don't have any feelings towards anyone except for my love towards you."
I shook my head. "No Hikaru, you love Haruhi. You're just afraid to let it sink in."
"No Kaoru! I love you! You have to believe that!"
"No Hikaru! You listen to what your heart is really saying. Not what it wants you to believe!" Tears were forming in my eyes.
"Kaoru."
"Just stay away from me and go to her already!" I yelled, dashing out the door.
"Kaorr!" he shouted as he ran after me, but when he turned the corner, I was already gone.
~ End of Flashback ~
I held Hikaru closer as I remembered what happened earlier. I was upset that I hurt him. I wish I could've taken it back. The truth was, I was jealous of Haruhi. I love my brother even more than she does. So why should she have him? I would've admitted my feelings to him earlier but, I was afraid to see what his reaction would be. I didn't want him to get hurt by what I'd say.
Though I tried not to hurt you
Though I tried, but I guess that's why they say
Every Rose Has Its Thorn
Just like every night, has its dawn
Just like every cowboy, sings his sad, sad song
Every Rose Has Its Thorn.
I tightened my grip on him, and tears started to build up again. Hikaru slowly woke up from my shaking.
"Kaoru? You okay?"
"Y-yeah. Just…a nightmare. Don't worry about me Hikaru. Goodnight!" I said, turning around again.
He didn't answer; he just went right back to sleep. I figured as much. He didn't want to talk to me or listen to me after what I had said earlier.
I closed my eyes once again, and concentrated on the noise of Hikaru's breathing. In a matter of minutes, I was in a deep sleep.
~~~~~*~~~~~
Hikaru quickly rushed out of our bedroom after he got out of the shower, and ran down the stairs.
"Where you going Hikaru?" I heard our mom ask.
"Haruhi and I have a date," he answered.
My heart skipped a beat.
"Oh, you have fun then!"
I heard the door open and slam shut, indicating that he was gone.
I sighed and looked at the radio that was sitting on our dresser. Since I didn't have anything else to do, I turned it on and listened to what was on.
I found mine and Hikaru's favorite station, and noticed that they were playing a very familiar song.
"Over and Over, Over and Over, I fall for you," I sang. This was our favorite song ever since we started the Host Club. I fell in love with the song because, it's really true! I do fall for Hikaru over and over. But, he just doesn't seem to notice.
Once the song was over, and I really wished it wasn't, the DJ came back on.
I listened to our favorite song, playing on the radio
Hear the DJ say love's a game of easy come and easy go
But I wonder, does he know? Has he ever felt like this?
And I know that you'd be here right now if I could've let you know somehow
I guess every rose has its thorn
Just like every night, has its dawn
Just like every cowboy, sings his sad, sad song
Every Rose Has Its Thorn
A couple days later, I've noticed Hikaru's beginning to forget all about me and notice more of Haruhi. Whenever I try to ask him something…he'd always ignore me. Thanks to this…Milord decided to stop the brotherly love act. Not that Hikaru wanted to do it with me anyways.
We both went home one day, riding in the same car, looking out separate windows, keeping everything to ourselves…not wanting to talk to each other. Once we reached our mansion, Hikaru quickly got out of the car, pulled out his cell, and dialed Haruhi's number as he rushed into the building.
Me, on the other hand, slowly got out of the car, grabbed my things, and slowly made my way up to our, or should I say my, bedroom. I slammed the door shut, locked it, and slid down to the floor sobbing. Why would he do this to me? I'm his brother! I'm his twin!
I sobbed as hard as I could to force the pain out of my heart. It hurt so much….why doesn't he care about me? Then I remembered it was my fault. I'm the one who said he had feelings for Haruhi. I should've just left him oblivious to it…but I was too stupid.
Having the leftover tears fall to the floor, I slowly got up and made my way into the bathroom. I turned the faucet on and splashed my face with cold water. I looked like a terrible mess. But I couldn't help it! I was in love with Hikaru…and it hurt so much.
Turning to leave the bathroom, my eyes caught a small glimpse of a metal utensil sitting on the edge of the sink. I stared at it for as long as I could, thinking of what I should do. I slowly walked up to the counter, grabbed the utensil, and rolled up my sleeves.
This is a bad idea…this is a bad idea…
I placed the edge of the knife to my wrist and slowly cut across. I winced at the pain I felt, but couldn't help myself from pressing down harder.
"Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!" I quickly dropped the knife, and fell to my knees. It hurt so much. But then again…it felt…good!
I looked at my bloody wrists and noticed the blood was dripping onto the bathroom rug. I stood up, and wobbled from dizziness, and ran my wrists under cold water. I winced from the pain of the stinging but realized it was nothing to the pain in my heart.
Hikaru…look at what you're making me do
Though it's been a while now, I can still feel so much pain
Like the knife that cuts you the wound is
But the scar, that scar remains
I wrapped some gauze around my arms to help stop the bleeding, and walked out of the bathroom. My eyes widened as I saw an identical figure sitting on the edge of my bed.
"Hey," Hikaru said in a melancholy voice.
I didn't answer back.
"What's going on with you? Why are you acting so…distant all of a sudden?"
That made my heart break into two pieces. He's been ignoring me this whole time and think I'm the one being distant? What a baka!
"So what's going on Kaoru?"
There was nothing to say to him, I didn't know what to say! Except…
"I'm in love with you Hikaru!" I screamed, tears rolling down my face.
He just stared at me in shock.
"I'm freakin' in love with you! Why can't you see it Hikaru? You never notice me! You're always too busy with Haruhi that you've forgotten all about me! And I'm the one suffering! Not you!"
He still stared at me…trying to accept what I was saying. Then, without realizing it, he walked up to me and embraced me in a tight hug.
My eyes widened. "Wh-what are you doing?!"
"I love you too Kaoru…and I'm sorry. Can you…forgive me?"
My heart was beating so hard I couldn't tell what he was saying. After a couple minutes, I whispered "Yes", and sobbed into his chest.
An hour later, we were in bed holding each other. I was almost asleep until I felt a soft hand rub against my cheek.
"Hikaru?"
He put a finger to my lips. "Shhh…just relax…"
I nodded and started to drift back to sleep.
It was nice to know that he loved me again, and in the way that I want him to love me.
He kissed my forehead and whispered in my ear. "Tomorrow we'll have some fun!" Then held me closer and closed his eyes. I smiled.
I know I could have saved a love that night
If I'd known what to say
Instead of making love
We both, made our separate ways
But now I hear you found somebody new
And that I never meant that much to you
To hear that tears me up inside
And to see you cuts me like a knife
I guess every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn
Aw! I thought this turned out pretty well! I've been wanting to write this songfic forever! Hope you all loved it! But I won't know unless you review! And even if you didn't like it, review anyway! I wanna know what you guys think so I can improve if I need to! Thanks! Love you all! ^_^