I've had this posted on Tumblr, but figured I should post it here, too. Just a little something I wrote a few months ago after I had surgery.
Letting Go
Observing was something she was paid to do; it was second nature to her. So when she saw Marshall, she could spot all the subtle nuances in his body language. He wasn't tense anymore, his face was relaxed of all the worry lines that had been present so prominently the past few days. He was happy.
She watched Marshall and Abigail as they spoke with everyone at the table, noticed the smiles on their faces, his arm around her shoulders, how his eyes sparkled when he looked at Abby. It made her heart ache to see him like that with someone who wasn't her. But he was happy with Abby. He loved her. Hell, maybe he was even letting himself fall in love with her now that Mary has released him.
It hurt her to say those words, to draw herself out of their friendship, to pull herself away from the one man who meant everything to her. But she did. She had to. Marshall was happy, and his happiness meant the world to her. Mary would do anything to make Marshall happy, to see that smile on his face, even if it wasn't directed at her anymore.
She wanted to tell him she loved him, was ready to tell him on the balcony until he gave her an out, saying he loved her as a close friend. Mary couldn't tell him after that, not with the way his eyes were staring into hers, pleading with her to understand why he needed her to let him go.
And she didn't want to hurt Abigail. Contrary to popular belief, Mary did not like to inflict pain on other people.
So she held her breath and bit her tongue as she let go of the man she loved the most.